Even as a kid, I should have known better. I stared at the box cover in the local video store, after prowling the isles like a shark hungry for Roy Scheider, and tried to parse the image with my sugar-addled mind. It said, "Bionic Commando," but he didn’t look bionic. His arm wasn’t a hook, just a friggin' arm with a fancypants bracelet on it. Maybe he could fly?