Everyone fancies themselves a cartoonist

Welcome to the inaugural edition of my new comic strip, Up Up, Down Down. The idea to try to create a comic strip has been percolating in my mind for a very long time, and you guys -- for better or for worse -- get to enjoy the first fruits of those labors. Note my cunning choice for the first strip... not a human in sight.

Replenishes Valuable Salsalytes

You know what I like best about watching television? It means I get a chance to eat. I just can't sit down to a plate of food when I'm playing games. Sure I can usually take quick bites of a sandwich in between races, or maybe work my way through a bagel while a map loads, but I just don't have good access to the foods I love.


Lawyeron, John Kerry's love toy and forum Cabana Boy saw fit to send his Employee Profile in, much to my delight. You see, Lawyeron is more than just a man who works the justice system, he is also from..... THE MATRIX! *Insert inane techno music*Notice the clenched fists of lawyer fury? It doesn't matter if you take the red pill or the blue pill son, you gonna get sued!
Many would probably suggest that comparing Unreal Tournament 2004 and Battlefield Vietnam is a bit like comparing apples and oranges, and honestly thatÂ's a fair conclusion. However, comparing apples and oranges is valid within certain constraints, certainly more so than comparing, say, apples and flagpoles.

Conference Call - Ninja Gaiden (Xbox)

Ninja Gaiden has already been highly praised and generally slobbered over by a number of reviews. It seems one can't swing a reanimated fossilized dragon these days without hitting a near giddy flow of gleeful analysis on the topic.

March 15th - 21st

Picking the game of the week was really easy once I decided to cop out and pick two games instead. Why force a man to choose between UT2K4 and BF: Vietnam when he really doesn't have to? Both games offer a ton of multiplayer action for $39.99 (less if you look around) and both ship today! Some stores have already seen copies of Vietnam so check your local geek shops.

Where's the Repair Gun?

Well, next week is the week, isn't it? We've pretty much milked as much enjoyment as we can out of the demo by now. Just as we start passing up the UT2K4 icon on our desktops for something else, the full-on game is about to drop. Just remember, gentlemen, not everyone who buys the full version will have ever played the demo.

Here Endeth The Whining

If you will excuse a momentÂ's vulgarity, IÂ've been talking out of my ass a lot lately.

Hell just became considerably less toasty

According to this post on the Bizarre Creations forums, downloadable content is finally on the way for their highly acclaimed Xbox Live racer, Project Gotham Racing 2. This is excellent news for those looking to get even more gaming enjoyment out of the already rich experience provided. Hi everyone, As you may have guessed, yes we are working on downloadable content at the moment.

Leashes and Sequels

When I first got a dog I thought it was going chew up my clothes, piss on everything and generally act like a 2 year old mute kid with social problems. I can't say I was disappointed on that front. Still, for all my pessimism I was completely unprepared for the strange mind powers dogs possess. Dogs can get you to do the stupidest things without saying a word.