(pictured above: RB Alvin Kamara, who scored 4 TDs and had 180 scrimmage yards; I guess the Saints are good now, which makes this the worst timeline ever. Still, props to #41, who has plenty of tread left on those 29-yr-old tires)
The grossest thing about Week 2 wasn't the Packers' center throwing up on the football. It was this play in the Panthers-Chargers game.
It's 6:22 left in the first quarter and the Panthers are down (shocked, I know) just 6-0. Panthers have 3rd and 5 on the LAC 36. It's a manageable third down, but an incompletion means a makeable FG (~53 yards) for the reliable Eddy Pineiro.
BY gets the snap and drifts back. Two guys are coming at him fast from the right side so he rolls to the left sideline. He's giving WR Xavier Legette the classic "Keep running long" wave. And while BY is waiting for Legette to figure out how to beat double coverage, LB Denzel Perryman knocks BY into next week. That's when I scream at my TV (fingers crossed hoped to die) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!?! I think I scared the dog, and the dog was outside. Even a middle school QB (and my trembling 9-pound dog) knows that you have to throw that ball away and not take a sack. Even RG Robert Hunt (circled below) knows that, and he's not even a quarterback.
Now out of field goal range, the Panthers punt and I watch the rest of the game just like the Panthers Are In Hell Guy, who is now my new GWJ avatar.
So now Carolina's riding with Andy Dalton, who's the whole reason the Panthers are stuck with BY in the first place. (Not Dalton specifically; the Panthers went All In and Then Some on BY because the Bridgewater / Darnold / Baker / Dalton tier of QBs was only going to be good for about five wins a season forever and ever.) I'm not interested in watching QB14 on Sunday or at any stage of the Andy Dalton Revenge Tour (which starts Week 4 vs the Bengals and includes the Bears in Week 5, the Saints in Week 9 and the Cowboys in Week 15). I don't want to watch BY return when Dalton inevitably gets hurt, and I sure as sh!t don't want to watch Jack (not Jake, no relation) Plummer taking snaps.
The guy who seems unaffected by all of this nonsense is the Panthers HC / youth pastor / motivational speaker / serial liar / fraud. The only credential he had was QB Whisperer, and he failed that first test miserably. Less than five days after saying "the best experience you can get is on the field" and less than 24 hours after declaring over and over again "Bryce Young is our quarterback," well, here we are. The offensive staff (all of the HC's buddies from Seattle) didn't hire themselves. The plays didn't call themselves. The seat that the Panthers current HC could not be hotter if it was made of lava.
The Panthers' dysfunction is enough to make someone puke in the middle of a game.
STATS OF THE WEEK
Passing is dead. Long live running backs, placekickers and defense!!!
Stat #1: There have been 141 made FGs so far this season and 128 offensive TDs through Week 2. There have never been more made FGs than offensive TDs in 1st 2 weeks of an NFL season (source)
Stat #2: In the 56 NFL seasons between 1935 and 1990, there was exactly one week in which there were more made field goals than there were offensive touchdowns (source)
Stat #3: Passing TDs through two weeks of the NFL season
2019: 105
2020: 110
2021: 110
2022: 105
2023: 86
2024: 69
(source)
WHICH 2-0 TEAMS ARE FRAUDS? AND WHICH 0-2 TEAMS ARE ACTUALLY GOOD?
I don't care. Y'all figure it out.
WEEK 3 SCHEDULE
Meh.
Thursday night
Patriots at Jets (Prime) ***
Sunday early
Giants at Browns (Fox) *
Bears at Colts (CBS) **
Texans at Vikings (CBS) ***
Eagles at Saints (Fox) ***
Chargers at Steelers (CBS) **
Broncos at Buccaneers (Fox) **
Packers at Titans (Fox) **
Sunday late
Panthers at Raiders, 4:05p (CBS) unwatchable unless you want to see Maxx Crosby commit elder abuse
Dolphins at Seahawks, 4:05p (CBS) **
Lions at Cardinals, 4:25p (Fox) ****
Ravens at Cowboys, 4:25p (Fox GOTW) ****
Niners at Rams, 4:25p (Fox) **
Sunday night
Chiefs at Falcons (NBC) ***
Monday night doubleheader! (but no ManningCast)
Jaguars at Bills, 730p (ESPN) **
Commanders at Bengals, 815p (ABC) **
Coverage maps: Here on Wednesday afternoon
Watching that play, I'm mostly frustrated at how big of an "L" Chuba Hubbard took in protection. Junior Colson just ole'd him. It's so bad that it looks like a chip for a guy that's going to leak out for a screen pass, but nobody else is acting like it's a screen. They're blocking 6 on 6 if and only if Hubbard is part of the protection.
The other thing that stands out is how completely unafraid the Chargers are of the Panthers passing attack. There's no disguise here, they line up showing that they're rushing 6 and playing man plus a single-high safety, and that's exactly what it is. (I'm sure they show this look other times and drop out of it, but they're sending all 6 this time).
Usually you avoid playing man coverage against bunch formations, because the bunch sets you up for all kinds of picks, rubs, and crossing routes. That's why things like pattern matching zone coverage, and "banjo" coverages (where the two defenders switch who their man coverage assignment is after the receivers cross their routes) are a big part of modern football.
But the Chargers on this play absolutely DGAF. It's straight-up man coverage. The middle and outside bunch receivers cross their routes, and their defenders just follow them through it. They don't care about Hubbard and if he's going to run a route, he's completely unaccounted for. It's like a Michigan bullying Middle Tennessee State kind of call.
The offensive staff (all of the HC's buddies from Seattle) didn't hire themselves.
Never go full Seattle Coach Voltron. Speaking from experience.
The Ravens are obviously the best 0-2 team. Lost by a toe and had a 10 point lead until the refs intervened for Vegas.
The Ravens are obviously the best 0-2 team. Lost by a toe and had a 10 point lead until the refs intervened for Vegas.
Isn't that kinda like being the prettiest girl at the family reunion?
I don't buy the Saints yet, but, well, it's two weeks in, so weird stuff happens. Kamara's 29, and guys that age usually don't bounce back. Also, FTS.
Stele wrote:The Ravens are obviously the best 0-2 team. Lost by a toe and had a 10 point lead until the refs intervened for Vegas.
Isn't that kinda like being the prettiest girl at the family reunion?
Just trying to answer part of the man's question.
WHICH 2-0 TEAMS ARE FRAUDS? AND WHICH 0-2 TEAMS ARE ACTUALLY GOOD?
I don't care. Y'all figure it out.
WHICH 2-0 TEAMS ARE FRAUDS? AND WHICH 0-2 TEAMS ARE ACTUALLY GOOD?
Pittsburgh is propped up by turnovers. Chargers beat two bottom-tier teams, but at least did so convincingly. Seattle squeaked by two bottom-tier teams by 6 and 3 points.
Ravens are good. Bengals and Jaguars have a chance to be good if either decides to play offense sometime (and if Pederson finally murders Baalke, which sounds like it's brewing.)
Seahawks are definitely not good. O-line is laughable. Still feels better being 2-0 than 0-2!
The NFL has posted a list of players who are eligible for the Hall of Fame for the first time. Eli Manning is now eligible.
May God have mercy on our souls for what comes ahead of us. The discussion wars shall be bloody.
Does not deserve to get in, absolutely a replacement-level QB outside of two playoff runs, will get in, isn't egregious enough to bother me in any way OH GOD I'M STARTING IT IT'S LIKE A VIRUS
Hahahahahaha
Dave!
Defeating Brady once is luck; defeating him twice is usually a coincidence except that one of the victories denied Brady an undefeated season, which makes Eli a Hall of Famer among Hall of Famers. Let the man in!
The names on the first timer list that jump out to me are Luke Kuechly, Terrell Suggs, Joe Staley, and Marshal Yanda. And then Travis Frederick and Marshawn Lynch. And then there's Adam Vinatieri, which will happen at some point.
Yeah, Kuechly walks in, and Suggs, Staley, Vinatieri, and Yanda seem likely. Marshawn Lynch is first ballot Interview Hall of Fame, but I guess he'll be one of those test cases of what does it take for an RB to get in? He had a good peak, but it's not like he was AP or something.
Lynch ranks 29th in career rushing, which puts him well behind Fred Taylor (17th), who was one of the finalists last year that didn't get in.
Lynch obviously has some things Taylor doesn't, but when you get down to it, Lynch ran for 10,413 yards at 4.2 per carry, and Taylor ran for 11,695 at 4.6 per carry. It will be interesting to see how strong the appetite is for inducting this tier of running back.
I've long felt Taylor would end up being a Senior Committee inductee, but I'm wondering if the presence of Lynch might provide some upward force to Taylor's candidacy. Kind of like how Patrick Willis' first year as a finalist seemed to push Zach Thomas (in his 4th year as a finalist) up over the hump to clear the path. But I also think the cases for both Thomas and Willis were a lot easier to make than Taylor and Lynch.
As for the rest, if I had to guess, Kuechly does indeed walk in, on both his own merit plus there's no other linebacker "in the way" after Thomas and Willis cleared the path. Suggs could be the Willis to Jared Allen's Zach Thomas, with Allen having just 3 fewer career sacks than Suggs (amusingly, the two are separated on the all-time sacks list by a larger number than the actual sack differential, with Suggs at 12th and Allen at 16th).
Staley and Yanda will probably hang around a few years before getting in. Willie Anderson is in front of them in the near-miss finalists from last year. So is Jahri Evans, who was a finalist last year, but I don't think Evans has nearly as strong a candidacy as either Staley or Yanda, so there might be leapfrog potential there.
Luke Kuechly is a HoFamer simply by virtue of nope-ing into retirement as soon as the Panthers hired Matt Rhule. Dude's instincts were always correct, which helps explains why he had nearly 1,100 tackles in just eight seasons.
I'm a no on Eli, too. He was never in the Brady / P Manning / Brees / Rodgers tier of QBs.
The Athletic made a good point about the Bryce Young situation that I forgot about: why on earth did Young take so few preseason reps?
He only played in the final game, and took all of 12 snaps. He had 8 pass attempts, all on one drive.
It was really that important to give Formerly of Cal Jack-Not-Jake Plummer 43 pass attempts?
Sitting guys out of preseason is for, you know, good players on good teams that want to manage injury risk. The only starting QBs to throw fewer pass attempts in preseason are guys with nothing to prove, and only one of them is playing for a new coach (Geno Smith). The others were Burrow, Tua, Baker, Love, and Allen.
It's obvious that the new Panthers HC is way in over his head. He has ...
... oh, never mind. I'm done talking about this dumb team and its unqualified failure of a HC. I'm just waiting to see who goes in at QB after Dalton (who was hurt most of preseason) breaks a leg or two in a couple of weeks.
Never go full Seattle Coach Voltron. Speaking from experience.
Pete Carroll or Billy B might be convinced to come out of retirement if you give them full control. Which I'm not sure Tepper will do, he seems to Snyder-esque for that.
Would pay PPV money for the Pete Carroll/David Tepper conversations.
I think the offensive explosions presided over by Bobby Slowik in Houston and now Klint Kubiak in New Orleans further demonstrate that if you're not trying to hire offensive guys making their way up through the Shanahan staff, you're doing coaching hiring wrong.
Sean McVay: head coach, Super Bowl winner, top 10 offense most seasons
Mike McDaniel: head coach, playoff team, top 10 offense each season so far
Matt LaFleur: head coach, playoff team, top 15 offense most seasons
Mike LaFleur: offensive coordinator (Rams), top 10 offense in 1st year on Rams
Bobby Slowik: offensive coordinator (Texans), top 15 offense in 1st year and so far this year too
Klint Kubiak: offensive coordinator (Saints), currently a top 5 offense in 1st year
You can dog McDaniel for Miami's playoff shortcomings so far, but that's still a hit rate that's far better than you'll get anywhere else. Other than Mike LaFleur not being able to produce a top offense in his two years on the Jets (stuck with Zach Wilson, and only a few games of Breece Hall), getting a Shanahan offensive guy has practically guaranteed a top-half-of-the-league offense.
Of course, the pickings have gotten slimmer with this many departures. The middle Kubiak brother Klay took over as passing game coordinator this year after his older brother's departure, and would be the obvious next guy teams will sniff around. Brian Griese has been doing great work as QB coach, but I don't know if he's a big picture X's and O's guy. Not sure who else Shanny's got in the pipeline working their way up from lower staff positions. I don't think there's any more LaFleurs to bring in. There is one other Kubiak out there, Klein, who is working not in coaching but as a scout in the Cowboys organization.
But when it comes to head coaching, I guarantee Slowik is going to be a name that circulates a ton this upcoming offseason, and I won't be surprised with the younger Kubiak and LaFleur start to get looks too.
Klint, Klay, and Klein...that's not...I don't know about this.
Luke Kuechly is a HoFamer simply by virtue of nope-ing into retirement as soon as the Panthers hired Matt Rhule. Dude's instincts were always correct, which helps explains why he had nearly 1,100 tackles in just eight seasons.
I'm a no on Eli, too. He was never in the Brady / P Manning / Brees / Rodgers tier of QBs.
Eli Manning is a god damn American Hero. I won’t stand for this trash talk.. he should and will be a first ballot HoF’er. In fact they should rename the HoF after him and give him keys to the City and then throw Brady in the trash.
Eli Manning is a god damn American Hero. I won’t stand for this trash talk.. he should and will be a first ballot HoF’er. In fact they should rename the HoF after him and give him keys to the City and then throw Brady in the trash.
I was waiting for this post. I almost made a comment, "I'm just gonna sit back and wait for Guru to show up".
The NFL has posted a list of players who are eligible for the Hall of Fame for the first time. Eli Manning is now eligible.
May God have mercy on our souls for what comes ahead of us. The discussion wars shall be bloody.
Spoiler:Does not deserve to get in, absolutely a replacement-level QB outside of two playoff runs, will get in, isn't egregious enough to bother me in any way OH GOD I'M STARTING IT IT'S LIKE A VIRUS
Like most Giants fans, I've been dreading this day since 2019. As you suggest MilkmanDanimal, the NFL corner of the internet is going to be wild and dangerous place for the next few days.
However, my personal view is that whether or not Manning, E's is 'enshrined' (ludicrous phrase) depends on whether or not meets the very, very clear criteria for selection to the Hall of Fame. To quote the Pro-Football Hall of Fame website:
"At the annual meeting, each Finalist is thoroughly discussed by the committee before a series of reduction votes are taken... In order to be elected, a Finalist must receive a minimum of 80% of the vote."
I'm sure we can all agree what that means for Manning's candidacy...
I rest my case. 
I think Eli should be a first ballot HoF'er just to show once more that one of the greatest things about the Pats dynasty is that, even years after it's over, we can still sip on the tears of the haters.
Klint, Klay, and Klein...that's not...I don't know about this.
What would be worse is if the Kubiak children had K middle names too.
Wikipedia confirms that at least Klint's is not a K name. As far as I can tell, middle names for the younger two are not publicly known...
Source: NFL fines Saints' Carr for Michael Jackson TD dance
........was it not good enough?
Carr snuck the ball in from the 1-yard line for a touchdown in the third quarter of the Saints' 44-19 win against the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday. He then did a dance move made famous by Jackson that involved grabbing at his crotch.
Okay, I'm good with fining him for lack of ambition. Gotta at least throw in the leg kick.
Also, while I get it, LOL @ "grabbing your crotch" becoming "a dance move made famous by Jackson."
You can dog McDaniel for Miami's playoff shortcomings.
Sounds like the Shanny system to me!
I'm going to LA this Sunday to be part of the mass of red in the SoFi Stadium stands when the Niners play against the Rams.
The Rams will be without Puka Nacua and Cooper Kupp.
The 49ers will be without Christian McCaffrey and Deebo Samuel.
And today we learned that George Kittle did not practice and his status for the game is up in the air.
I can't wait to see this battle of second team offenses up close and personal. I'm so glad I didn't cheap out and buy preseason game tickets instead...
"One time I hit the Michael Jackson and [my brothers] were like, 'Bro, you have to do that if you score.'"
I so badly want someone else on the NFL Network set to turn to David and ask if he told his little brother that he should grab his nuts during a live NFL television broadcast.
I can't wait to see this battle of second team offenses up close and personal.
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