We're halfway-ish through the season, so it's time for some midseason report cards. I'll start with ...
... your CAROLINA PANTHERS
Sum up your season so far in one GIF:
What's working: Uh ... the special teams are kinda frisky? And the D isn't half-bad considering that it's full of third-stringers and JAGs?
What's not: The offense specifically. More generally, it's the talent scouting. GM Scott Fitterer might be a wheeler-dealer, but the vast majority of the dudes he has brought in via the draft, free agency and trades have given the Panthers zero. I know I've been inclined to give Tiny Bryce Young a pass. ("He's getting better each week! Growing pains! BABY STEPS!") But after CJ Stroud went off this week and Young, ah, didn't, I'm beginning to think that the poor talent evals extend to the QB room as well.
Prognosis: My heart hopes Carolina will scratch out 3-4 more wins and finish 5-12. But my head says a 1-16 season is gonna happen. IT'S WITHIN REACH!
Your turn!
GIFS OF THE WEEK
https://media.giphy.com/media/6IF85K...
I guarantee you these guys spent more time practicing this end zone dance than Josh Freakin' Dobbs spent with the Vikings' playbook before Sunday's game. From The Athletic:
ATLANTA — A few days ago, a man walked into the locker room at the Minnesota Vikings’ practice facility carrying a hanger with a red No. 15 jersey dangling off it like he just grabbed it from a discount rack at a local sporting goods store. Garrett Bradbury, the Vikings’ center, noticed this man and decided to introduce himself. He stood up and extended his hand.“Garrett,” he said.
“Josh Dobbs,” the man replied.
“Welcome, man,” Bradbury said.
“Pumped to be here,” Dobbs responded.
There was a pause. Then Dobbs put two and two together: This was the Vikings’ center, a teammate of some significance for a quarterback just beginning to get his bearings in a new city, a new team, a new offense.
“I’ve actually got some cadence questions for you when you’ve got some time,” he said.
Dobbs' furniture just arrived last week. In Arizona. Bonkers!
I assume the Eagles coach is happy? Because they won? As a Panthers fan, I'm not familiar with that emotion (or winning).
Still not as good as Trevor Lawrence's long luscious locks.
STAT OF THE WEEK
CJ Stroud: 30 of 42 (71%), 470 yards, 5 TDs, 11.2 yards per attempt, 11.1 EPA, 147.8 QB rating, 77.2 QBR,
Bryce Young: 24 of 39 (62%), 173 yards, 1 TD, 3 INTs (two were pick 6s), 4.4 yards per attempt, -1.7 EPA, 48.3 QB rating, 11.2 QBR (which was almost 8 points better than Tommy DeVito)
It's hard as hell to play the long game here when it takes your QB three times as long as the other guy to throw for 500 yards.
PLAYOFF PICTURE
AFC division winners (in seed order): Chiefs, Ravens, Jags, Dolphins
AFC WCs: Steelers, Browns, Bengals
On the bubble: Everyone else
NFC division winners: Eagles, Lions, Niners, Saints
NFC WCs: Seahawks, Cowboys, Vikings
On the bubble: Everyone else, which means the Giants, Bears, Panthers and Cardinals still have a shot!
WEEK 10 SCHEDULE
Three absolutely unwatchable primetime games (four, if you include Sunday morning) plus a nothingburger of a Sunday GOTW. Yikes. Some of those 1 p.m. Sunday games look pretty tasty, though.
Thursday
Trash Fire at Garbage Dump (Prime)
Sunday morning
Das Fohlens vs Patrioten in Frankfurt (NFL Network)
Sunday early
Browns at Ravens
Texans at Bengals
Niners at Jaguars in the LEGION BOWL (which should be played at Legion Field)
Saints at Vikings
Packers at Steelers
Titans at Buccaneers
Sunday late
Falcons at Cardinals in the BAD BIRD BOWL
Lions at Chargers
Giants at Cowboys
Commanders at Seahawks
Sunday night
Jets at Raiders (NBC)
Monday
Broncos at Bills (ABC, ESPN, ManningCast)
Bye: Chiefs, Rams, Dolphins, Eagles
Maps (on Wed.)
Niners at Jaguars in the LEGION BOWL
I HATE these games, but this year’s may be the worst one. The Jags are the best and most promising they’ve been in forever, and beating a team like the Niners would be a step up into contention. But the Niners can’t be losing a 4th straight game.
I hate it so much.
Whole AFC North in the playoffs? It's like bizzaro NFC East of the last decade
STAT OF THE WEEK
CJ Stroud: 30 of 42 (71%), 470 yards, 5 TDs, 11.2 yards per attempt, 11.1 EPA, 147.8 QB rating, 77.2 QBR,
Bryce Young: 24 of 39 (62%), 173 yards, 1 TD, 3 INTs (two were pick 6s), 4.4 yards per attempt, -1.7 EPA, 48.3 QB rating, 11.2 QBR (which was almost 8 points better than Tommy DeVito)
I literally flipped a coin to determine which one to draft in dynasty.
f*ck that quarter.
Enix wrote:STAT OF THE WEEK
CJ Stroud: 30 of 42 (71%), 470 yards, 5 TDs, 11.2 yards per attempt, 11.1 EPA, 147.8 QB rating, 77.2 QBR,
Bryce Young: 24 of 39 (62%), 173 yards, 1 TD, 3 INTs (two were pick 6s), 4.4 yards per attempt, -1.7 EPA, 48.3 QB rating, 11.2 QBR (which was almost 8 points better than Tommy DeVito)
I literally flipped a coin to determine which one to draft in dynasty.
f*ck that quarter.
shoulda given that 25 cents to the panthers to spend on some worth-a-damn receivers and linemen
I love how, whenever I go to Amazon, they are always giving me a countdown to the TNF game, and this week I'm like, "Ew." And log off.
Sum up your season so far in one GIF:
Felt pretty good at an entirely unexpected 3-1. Losing to the Falcons and Saints, don't feel so good about that, but it's expected. The Bucs are basically a good team made of tinfoil; if the starters all play, it's a quality roster, but it's a team where after final cutdown there were 12 rookies, 6 of them UDFAs. There is no depth at all, and with the normal injuries, people who should be on practice squads are getting serious playing time.
The good: Baker is getting a new contract to stick around, I don't think there's much doubt there. He's playing well and whatever rumors there were of him being a bad locker room guy sure as hell haven't popped up in Tampa. Also, Wirfs has switched from being the best RT in the league to maybe the best LT; it's been seamless, and RT Luke Goedeke was a nightmare at LG as a rookie last year but has been excellent, and if not for the fact three broken turnstiles with maybe syphilis or something are playing the three interior line positions this would be a good line. It is currently not.
This team needs decent interior linemen, a pass rush, and a safety worthy of playing next to Winfield. Lots of cap space next year after we eat the $77 million chunk this year, so, hey, who knows.
Niners at Jaguars in the LEGION BOWL (which should be played at Legion Field))
I found a picture of Legion Field, which is really just the backyard of Legion's house...
The slides used to be metal, until the 3rd degree burns.
The slides used to be metal, until the 3rd degree burns.
Is that what you called all those receivers getting open that last year of Richard Sherman?
Sum up your season so far in one GIF:
49ers:
Jaguars:
I love how, whenever I go to Amazon, they are always giving me a countdown to the TNF game, and this week I'm like, "Ew." And log off.
This game could go two ways:
1. Bad vs Bad yields an epically wild 40-36 Scorigami result which has Adam Thielen throwing a TD pass to Bryce Young, someone rushing for 200 yards and multiple Bears QBs scoring in multiple ways. Plus a safety (or two?) and a special teams score.
2. The DJ Moore Revenge Game will be as bad as everyone thinks.
Won't know till you tune in!
PS: The entire Panthers D is hurt. They're putting guys on IR I've never heard of and replacing them with guys with Madden-generated names like LaBryan Ray and Dicaprio Bootle. Oh, and the Panthers online roster has nine guys in not-Carolina jerseys, probably because the team photographer and the website manager are both on IR.
So it looks like the Browns are rolling with James Hudson at LT with Jedrick Wills on IR. Wills wasn't super great, but he is a starting caliber LT. Hudson? Not so much. I think he has 35 career snaps at LT and hasn't graded particularly well overall (46.6 PFF with most of his snaps coming at RT or G). I imagine they are going to scheme him as much help as they can, but I don't see it being an easy afternoon for him given he is facing the sackingest defense in the NFL in a very hostile road game. I don't know if it is possible to bet on an individual player being flagged, but if it was, I think it is safe to say the money line would be on him being penalized for 30+ yards on presnap and holding penalties. He lines up opposite Ravens DE Justin Madubuike who is having a a career year so far with 8 sacks through Week 9.
Something tells me that Groper Cleveland is going to have slightly less time to throw than he did against Arizona.
I'm legitimately excited for Bears-Panthers, and am deeply disappointed the weather's going to be good because some high wind and heavy rain could have made this a garbage bowl for the ages.
Won't know till you tune in!
That's the selling point! Any football is better than anything else, and I just don't believe that anymore.
I have 1 million other options, including regular season NBA games starring Steph, Joker or Big Vic doing insane-in-the-membrane stuff, or working the Pile, or streaming some A++ series I missed or even reading a good book.
NFL gets my eyeballs when it's my team OR the matchup is dynamite. And, as SF-DAL showed, that's a crapshoot now, too.
They killed the golden goose.
Yep. Lamar Jackson is the only thing more entertaining than watching Jokic try to get another triple double, Splash Bros, or whatever crazy new thing Wemby is going to do. My nights are for hoops.
Speaking of matchups, it looks like the Sunday afternoon GOTW is Giants-Cowboys, according to 506 Sports.
Some lucky folks also will get Lions-Chargers in the late Sunday slot. Not me, which opens up my Sunday afternoon.
Speaking of matchups, it looks like the Sunday afternoon GOTW is Giants-Cowboys[b], according to .com/nfl.php?yr=2023&wk=10]506 Sports.
Some lucky folks also will get Lions-Chargers in the late Sunday slot. Not me, which opens up my Sunday afternoon.
I saw that at the gym today and was floored. Like, Fox has CLE-BAL! Myles vs Lamar!
Niners at Jaguars in the LEGION BOWL
It's really amazing to me, especially after seeing the Niners-Raiders-Seahawks-Eagles-Steelers-Patriots-Cowboys-Broncos fandom at my sister's wedding exactly one month ago tonight, that Legion remains the only pairing of these two fandoms that I've ever seen.
Poor Kyler, he got activated the day before Modern Warfare 3 was released.
Enix wrote:Niners at Jaguars in the LEGION BOWL
It's really amazing to me, especially after seeing the Niners-Raiders-Seahawks-Eagles-Steelers-Patriots-Cowboys-Broncos fandom at my sister's wedding exactly one month ago tonight, that Legion remains the only pairing of these two fandoms that I've ever seen.
It’s stupid and I absolutely do not recommend it.
Enix wrote:Niners at Jaguars in the LEGION BOWL
It's really amazing to me, especially after seeing the Niners-Raiders-Seahawks-Eagles-Steelers-Patriots-Cowboys-Broncos fandom at my sister's wedding exactly one month ago tonight, that Legion remains the only pairing of these two fandoms that I've ever seen.
To be fair, it's not like you are likely to have encountered many Jags fans at all.
Tiny Bryce Young cannot play this game properly. He needs perfect throwing lanes.
The Panthers are winning, despite being outgained 207-98.
This is pure, undiluted Sickos football.
A 59 yard FG attempt falls short to tie. Would have been good from 56, maybe 57.
The real shame is the Panthers aren't wearing ugly Color Rush jerseys in baby blue to match the Bears' orange.
I don't think I had ever seen a false start called on a kneeldown attempt. That really painted a picture of the whole game.
I don't think I had ever seen a false start called on a kneeldown attempt. That really painted a picture of the whole game.
Earlier, the Panthers picked up a delay of game ON A PUNT. Otherwise, except for two plays (the punt return TD and TBY's 45-yard heave to a WR I had never heard of before last night), the Panthers were lifeless and excruciating to watch.
I cut off the game at halftime, went upstairs, finished my book and went to bed. I didn't think I'd miss something and you know what I was right. My expectations were low (maybe they'll score a TD!) but the Panthers didn't come close to reaching them.
Good thing the NFL doesn't relegate. If it did, the Panthers would be a season away from going 6-6 in the ACC and hoping for a bid from the Pop-Tarts Bowl.
I keep coming back to this, but I honestly think that we should have the bottom 12 teams enter a lottery for draft order to prevent obvious tanking.
I keep coming back to this, but I honestly think that we should have the bottom 12 teams enter a lottery for draft order to prevent obvious tanking.
This year, the potentially worst team in the league doesn't have a first round pick. Last year, the team that had the first overall pick wrapped up instead went for it on 4th and 28 on the last play of the game and then the 2 point conversion to win, the least tanking move conceivable. The Jets screwed themselves out of Trevor Lawrence the prior year; how many consecutive years do we need before we accept the idea that "tanking" is not a relevant concept in the NFL like it is in the NBA?
Front offices may want to tank (hello, Cardinals), but player and coach careers are too volatile and short to risk whatever years they have on trying to actively lose.
Relegation!
Have NFL absorb XFL/USFL, and T25, create one giant pro entity with tiers. They could have ALL the dollars for the biggest 72 football teams in the country. 18 teams per tier.
Play Tier 1 on Sundays, T2 on Sat, T3 on Mon and T4 on Thursdays (hey! Just like now!).
And no cap. And no draft.
Happy to consult with Roger on how to get this to done.
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