Here's a dad joke to start us off.
Boy: Dad! Dad! The kids at school say our family is a bunch of pyromaniacs! Are we, Dad? Are we?!
Dad: We are, son.
I was thinking of this joke Sunday afternoon because the Panthers' utter ineptitude (except for a 99-yard pick-six that ended with Kirk Cousins getting absolutely blown up; I liked that!) makes me want to burn down Charlotte and everything in it.
Did you know that the Panthers were the first team since the 2013 Bucs to start a season 0-4 despite leading in all four of those games? You do now!
I'll be boycotting the Panthers until the end of the Rugby World Cup or until the Panthers win their first game, whichever comes first. RWC final is Oct 28; between now and then, the Panthers play Lions (L), Dolphins (L) and the bye week (also an L). Sigh.
GIF OF THE WEEK
The Jags are looking good on two continents and in two media formats:
PS: The Falcons suck in real life and in all media. Also, Desmond Ridder is Sid, but with fewer redeeming qualities. Here's Ridder:
And here's Sid, the villain of the first "Toy Story" movie:
Uncanny!
GIF OF THE WEEK, PART 2
Colbert said it best: “At the game, Taylor drank some dranks, hung out with Blake Lively, while injured Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers sat alone in the Sadness Box.”
PIC OF THE WEEK THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A GIF
It's amazing that it took 29 years and 454 games for a Belichick-coached team to get its ass kicked by five TDs, but that's what happened Sunday against Dallas.
WEEK 5 SCHEDULE
We have a Sunday morning game and a great Sunday night game. Good week!
Thursday
Bears at Commanders (Prime)
Sunday morning
Jag-you-ares vs Bills in London, 930a (NFL Network)
Sunday early
Texans at Falcons
Winless Charlotte Road Kill at Lions
Titans at Colts
Giants at Dolphins
Saints at Patriots
Ravens at Steelers
Sunday late
Bengals at Cardinals
Eagles at Rams
Jets at Broncos
Chiefs at Vikings (GOTW bc Taylor Swift doesn't play for the Eagles)
Sunday night
*** Cowboys at Niners (NBC) ***
Monday
Packers at Raiders (ABC, ESPN, ManningCast)
Off this week: Browns, Chargers, Seahawks, Bucs
Maps will be here Wednesday.
I didn’t have any feelings for Taylor Swift but she’s pissing off Conservatives so she must be doing something right.
Cowboys Niners hell yeah. Another Dallas loss on national TV.
Isn't having back-to-back London games a massive advantage for the Jaguars?
But being the Jaguars is a disadvantage so it evens out?
Cowboys Niners hell yeah. Another Dallas loss on national TV.
What, no Baker header pic?
Sucks the Bucs have the early bye, but, to be fair, I thought the whole season would be a bye by now.
If Qaaron wants to get on the level of an All-Pro TE, he's going to need to get a (single) partner bigger than Taylor Swift.
And I don't know who that is right now.
Qaaron's already made his way through a couple actresses, so maybe he's done with Hollywood? With his apparent beliefs, maybe he and Boebert or Marjorie Taylor Greene can spend a little quality time together.
Patriots bring JC Jackson back to New England by swapping late-round picks with the Chargers.
Also, the Broncos are releasing Randy Gregory.
Both players signed 5-year deals last offseason, and their teams already want out after 1 1/4 years.
Lot of big contract regret happening lately. *glances towards the New York Giants*
I wonder if Qaaron consulted with his good friend Joe Rogan on how to treat a torn Achilles heal.
I wonder if Qaaron consulted with his good friend Joe Rogan on how to treat a torn Achilles heal.
Ivermectin.
Sunday morning
Jag-you-ares vs Bills in Lon, 930a (NFL Network)
Come on man, we need more hype for JOSH ALLEN BOWL II
Jaguars Josh Allen is, after all, the NFL leader in sacks so far this year with 6 (along with TJ Watt and Khalil Mack).
Do the Joshs Allen operate under Time Cop rules? If they come into contact, they'll cancel each other out?
*Legion* wrote:Enix wrote:Sunday morning
Jag-you-ares vs Bills in Lon, 930a (NFL Network)Come on man, we need more hype for JOSH ALLEN BOWL II
Jaguars Josh Allen is, after all, the NFL leader in sacks so far this year with 6 (along with TJ Watt and Khalil Mack).
Sheesh. Love how I stopped typing "London" halfway through, like I'm Daniel Jones getting sacked after his first read.
Forgetting about London? What are you, Desmond Ridder?
Enix wrote:Sunday morning
Jag-you-ares vs Bills in Lon, 930a (NFL Network)Come on man, we need more hype for JOSH ALLEN BOWL II
It's in London. So, you mean JOUSH ALLNE BOUWL II.
*Legion* wrote:Enix wrote:Sunday morning
Jag-you-ares vs Bills in Lon, 930a (NFL Network)Come on man, we need more hype for JOSH ALLEN BOWL II
It's in London. So, you mean JOUSH ALLNE BOUWL II.
I guess since they don't do "bowls" anyway, it'd be the JOSH ALLEN CUP.
Matt Eberflus says he feels "the support" of the Chicago Bears. He's gone in a couple of weeks, isn't he?
Matt Eberflus says he feels "the support" of the Chicago Bears. He's gone in a couple of weeks, isn't he?
That's tough, because you risk an interim coaching going full Bisaccia and turning the team around enough to ruin their Caleb tank. Richard Hightower made his way up the ranks following Kyle Shanahan around since they were college football teammates, and he wouldn't waste time turning the rest of the Bears season into his head coaching audition.
I mean, unless the Bears want to go full Irsay and pull an ex-player off the couch to coach the team. Peanut Tillman's busy with the FBI. Brian Urlacher's busy making sure nobody knows where he was on January 6th. Olin Kreutz beat someone up at his last job.
Wait... I know someone...
I thought he didn't like working for charities the way the Bears give games away.
I wouldn't be surprised if they end up with another former Bear player/Niner coach. Obviously, it wouldn't be a mid-season hire. It seems widely assumed that he'll go back to the NFL this year because he hates the NCAA, he has a very good chance of "going out on top", and he would probably be a good enough draw for Caleb's dad to not make Caleb stay in school.
I wouldn't be surprised if they end up with another former Bear player/Niner coach. Obviously, it wouldn't be a mid-season hire. It seems widely assumed that he'll go back to the NFL this year because he hates the NCAA, he has a very good chance of "going out on top", and he would probably be a good enough draw for Caleb's dad to not make Caleb stay in school.
That particular guy is almost certainly coming back to the league at some point. Chicago WITH the top pick (preferably both of them) would be appealing, especially if they let him pick his own GM and ensure he doesn’t get Baalke’d again.
Chicago better keep the tank rolling though. He’s not coming to Chicago to coach Justin Fields.
Why would he ever go to the Bears though? That is a horrible ownership situation and he didn't get along with the last NFL owner he coached under, who, in hindsight, is...doing pretty okay? For a nepobaby.
I all depends on what other openings there are.
Also, the finger thing means the money.
Travis Kelce turns 34 today. I only know that because for some reason he's now noteworthy enough to appear in IMDB's daily birthday rundown.
Wow.
Bengals need a bye more than any other team right now. It's the O line, the WRs and Burrow all contributing to the suck. Lucky for them it's kinda soon (Week 7) but maybe not soon enough.
They could easily lose to the Cards + Seahawks before they come back to play.... The 49ers.
Why would he ever go to the Bears though? That is a horrible ownership situation and he didn't get along with the last NFL owner he coached under, who, in hindsight, is...doing pretty okay? For a nepobaby.
York's only doing OK because the Harbaugh thing happened, and he took a look at himself in the mirror and realized he was part of the problem. He's owned up to his role in that on a number of occasions, and his style of ownership has taken a full 180 since then.
As for why the Bears, a few reasons:
- NFC team (read: not fighting with his brother for playoff positioning every year)
- Possibly the top two draft picks, almost certainly at least two top 10 picks
- $111m of free cap space in 2024 (most in the league). Only 36 players under contract for 2024 (2nd lowest in the league). The Bears have almost no long-term cap liabilities. It's a blank slate.
- He was a Bear, which provides some extra credibility inside the building
- He's likely to be given a lot of slack. The bar has been set so low he can trip over it.
- I doubt Old Lady McCaskey is going to get in his way
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