Another brutal work week for me. Plus the NFL Hot Take Machine is in overdrive already. Who needs my microwaved leftovers anyway, right?
GIF OF THE WEEK
Why is Taylor Swift hanging out with Jason Kelce's mom?!
(I saw this online somewhere; I take credit only for copy and pasting it.)
Looks like the Dolphins ran out of end zone celebrations long before they ran out of touchdowns.
Also, Sean Payton is a fraud, just like I've been saying all along. A FRAUD. Glad the rest of y'all are catching up.
PS: Dolphins 70, Broncos 20 was indeed a Scorigami. It would have been hilarious if Denver had squeezed out another TD because 70-27 would not have been.
WHO WILL WIN THE SUPER BOWL?
According to this deep-dive from The Ringer, fans of 28 teams might as well give up hope because one of only four teams — the Chiefs, Niners, Bills and Dolphins — have a chance of winning the Superb Owl. Eagles and Ravens are good enough to make the SB. But the SB probably won't happen for the Cowboys and Jags and definitely won't happen for the Browns and the Lions.
Everyone else? Done-zo, I guess. At least the Rugby World Cup has been interesting. Go back and watch South Africa-Ireland if you have Peacock or don't mind visiting some, ah, other websites.
WEEK 4 SCHEDULE
We have a decent Thursday night game, a Saturday morning game, an EPIC early-season clash and ... well, the first half of the week is pretty stout.
Thursday
Lions at Packers (Prime)
Sunday morning
Falcons at Jaguars in London (930a, ESPN+ and Disney+)
Sunday early
***** DOLPHINS AT BILLS *****
Vikings at Panthers (loser goes 0-4)
Broncos at Bears (loser also goes 0-4)
Ravens at Browns
Steelers at Texans
Rams at Colts
Bucs at Saints
Commanders at Eagles
Bengals at Titans
Sunday late
Raiders at Chargers
Patriots at Cowboys (national GOTW)
Cardinals at Niners
Sunday night
Chiefs at Jets (NBC)
Monday
Seahawks at Giants (ABC, ESPN and Manningcast)
Coverage maps will be posted in their usual spot Wednesday. Those of you who get Fins-Bills, take pity on those of us locked into local games featuring teams (air quotes) with a combined zero Ws, sigh.
Sunday morning
Falcons at Jaguars in London (930a, ESPN+ and Disney+)
I love Pacific time zone sports start times... until the Europe games.
Enix wrote:Sunday morning
Falcons at Jaguars in London (930a, ESPN+ and Disney+)I love Pacific time zone sports start times... until the Europe games.
Well, good news, the Jags are back to being worthy of sleeping in now.
I'm really looking forward to Bucs-Saints to see a callback of the old days where Jameis threw TDs to people in Bucs jerseys.
Sunday morning
Falcons at Jaguars in London (930a, ESPN+ and Disney+)
And they're going to render the game in Toy Story for some reason.
GIF OF THE WEEK
Is the guy to Taylor's left criticizing Andy Reid's clock management?
Cowboys game of the week again? Fine it's funny when they lose with everyone watching
Enix wrote:Sunday morning
Falcons at Jaguars in London (930a, ESPN+ and Disney+)And they're going to render the game in Toy Story for some reason.
Most Jaguars games since 2000 have been cartoonish representations of the sport of football.
Cowboys game of the week again? Fine it's funny when they lose with everyone watching
It would be funny, but I don’t want them carrying a two game losing streak into Levi’s next week. That’d put them into season desperation mode.
I know Disney's trying to chase down the success Nickelodeon's had with NFL broadcasts, but the secret Nickelodeon's managed to tap into is that it's entertaining for adults to watch. Is Woody going to bring up 28-3?
Stele wrote:Cowboys game of the week again? Fine it's funny when they lose with everyone watching
It would be funny, but I don’t want them carrying a two game losing streak into Levi’s next week. That’d put them into season desperation mode.
I will enjoy ending their season early then.
Week 3 Thoughts:
- According to the StatHead database, no player in the modern era has kicked 3 field goals and 3 extra points (with no misses) for 3 straight games, until Jake Moody. Only 4 players have managed this feat for 2 straight games: Moody, Connor Barth (Tampa 2015), Richie Cunningham (Dallas 1998), and Tony Franklin (New England 1986). If misses are allowed, then we get two more 2-game streaks (Olindo Mare, Miami 2002, and Steve Christie, Buffalo 1998), but still no 3-game streaks. Moody stands alone.
- I spent $8 for a month of StatHead access to generate the above statistics. So somebody better be reading my nonsense.
- Matt Prater could have had a 3 FG/3 XP game this week in Arizona's victory over the Cowboys, but Arizona inexplicably attempted (and failed) two 2-point conversions in the first half.
- My wife spent the entire TNF game making fun of Daniel Jones' face, for permanently looking confused.
- The Giants blitzed Purdy on 33 of 39 dropbacks. That 84.6% is the highest blitz rate NFL NextGenStats has ever recorded. It disrupted Purdy early on, but he handled it better as the game went. It also explains why the Niners leaned extra into the screen game.
- Damn was the Jaguars game frustrating. For 3 weeks, they've played some of the most inexplicable self-defeating football. It's way too early to get too critical of Doug Pederson's coaching, but the team did not come into September prepared to play. Pederson may need to re-evaluate their camp/preseason approach.
Cowboys game of the week again? Fine it's funny when they lose with everyone watching
Works for me.
What sealed it for me in the Jags game was the kick off return. When that happened I knew no matter what football Jesus might be able to do it didn't matter.
Cowboys/Cards, Dolphins/Broncos, Colts, Chargers/Vikings, Packers and Bears all taking heat off the Jags last week with their own wonky games.
Excited for the Thursday game because every Packers game has already been a Thursday game for randomness. So it will be Thursday^2 + the Lions.
Aaron Jones should be back and maybe Watson so it could actually be exciting to watch and not just negative botched plays and coaching hi jinx.
Richie Cunningham (Milwaukee 1950-something)
Stele wrote:Cowboys game of the week again? Fine it's funny when they lose with everyone watching
Works for me.
Pats are averaging 17.3 pts / game and that includes defensive scoring. I just can't figure out a way the Pats could win this game without multiple defensive turnovers that resulted in direct scores.
Pink Stripes wrote:Stele wrote:Cowboys game of the week again? Fine it's funny when they lose with everyone watching
Works for me.
Pats are averaging 17.3 pts / game and that includes defensive scoring. I just can't figure out a way the Pats could win this game without multiple defensive turnovers that resulted in direct scores.
Well, they're playing against Dak so that's definitely a possibility.
Broncos at Bears should be a barn burner. Someone has to win right?
Broncos at Bears should be a barn burner. Someone has to win right?
There are ties now.
My favorite story from the Bears was from Patrick Klepek at Remap. His daughters remembered that he used to get all excited and spin them around every time the Bears would score a touchdown. His older daughter asked why they didn't do that anymore.
The answer was that they did, the Bears just hadn't scored a touchdown yet. This was after the Week 2 game.
Jim Tomsula update for Legion, Stele and Ratboy:
Jim Tomsula update for Legion, Stele and Ratboy:
They play American Football in Europe?
World class conspiracy theory. Truly awesome explanation of the whole Taylor/Travis thing.
Jim Tomsula update for Legion, Stele and Ratboy:
Between coaching in the World League/NFL Europe and now the European League of Football, Tomsula may well go down in history as one of the founding fathers of American football in Europe.
They play American Football in Europe?
Soon it will be so popular that they'll just call it "football".
World class conspiracy theory. Truly awesome explanation of the whole Taylor/Travis thing.
Kind of a waste for Taylor to go through all that trouble when the Niners will be the NFC team that makes the Super Bowl.
Paleocon wrote:World class conspiracy theory. Truly awesome explanation of the whole Taylor/Travis thing.
Kind of a waste for Taylor to go through all that trouble when the Niners will be the NFC team that makes the Super Bowl.
Well the Taylor, Nick Bossa Deebo Samuel love triangle, cube? Hasn't come out yet that will submarine the NFC title game.
She isn't targeting Brock as Sam will be starting by then.
Wait until she starts dating Brock Purdy
Wait until she starts dating Brock Purdy
He won't fall for it. He knew she was trouble when she walked in.
She isn't targeting Brock as Sam will be starting by then.
... goddamn it.
UpToIsomorphism wrote:Wait until she starts dating Brock Purdy
He won't fall for it. He knew she was trouble when she walked in.
jowner wrote:She isn't targeting Brock as Sam will be starting by then.
... goddamn it.
It's cool, the beard of her QB,
Woo, in his red jersey,
And it's oooooh whooo yeah
She's here, Taylor
She's here, for Sam
TheGameguru wrote:Broncos at Bears should be a barn burner. Someone has to win right?
There are ties now.
My favorite story from the Bears was from Patrick Klepek at Remap. His daughters remembered that he used to get all excited and spin them around every time the Bears would score a touchdown. His older daughter asked why they didn't do that anymore.
The answer was that they did, the Bears just hadn't scored a touchdown yet. This was after the Week 2 game.
This is the saddest thing I've ever read.
Buccaneers punter Jake Camarda being named NFC Special Teams Player of the Month is an outrage.
Buccaneers punter Jake Camarda being named NFC Special Teams Player of the Month is an outrage.
ALL HAIL THE TRUE PUNT GOD.
Edit: A 54.9 average on 14 punts, with 7 dropped inside the 20? That's a hell of a start.
People are apparently vacuuming up tickets to the Chiefs-Jets because they get to see Taylor Swift in a box. People are f*cking stupid.
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