August 8 - 14

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IMAGE(https://www.gamerswithjobs.com/files/pictures/pictures/picture-13445.jpg)   Felix “Death by Cute” Threepaper

Welcome folks, and happy “59th Anniversary of the Great Train Robbery” week!

In 1963, a 15-man gang hijacked a postal train in Buckinghamshire, England, by jacking a trackside signalbox to make the train stop. They boarded and managed to steal 2.6 million pounds without most of the 48 postal workers on board knowing that a robbery was even happening. They did not use any guns. They then hid out on a farm for a few days, playing Monopoly and listening in on police scanners to plot their escape. They had to leave earlier than they planned, and in doing so, left behind crucial evidence that led to 12 of the 15 being captured within weeks. However, only 10% of the money was ever recovered. You may all celebrate by playing a stealth game where you do no kills, get all the goodies, but get spotted as you escape, blowing your S-rank for the mission.

I’m stuck on the last boss fight of Elden Ring. So naturally I’m procrastinating by replaying Metal Gear Solid V. I’ve forgotten all about the Lands Between as I’m remembering how fun it is to balloon people and take out jeeps with horse poop.

If you’re looking for new games this week, business-management sim fans have the most to choose from.

Two Point Campus is a business sim dressed up as a cartoony university manager. You’ll be placing items and assets on a grid as you build out your campus and try to drive up everyone’s academic progress and comfort levels. It’s not ultra-realistic: courses you can provide include Knight School and Spy School, and the universal college sport is Cheese Ball, a game where the players wear mouse hats and throw a wheel of cheese at someone holding a big, cheese-grater bat. While the humour is pretty broad, the controls and management parts are pretty smooth. There’s a bunch of scenarios, but it really shines in sandbox mode once you’ve unlocked all the themed settings. It looks pretty solid if you can get past the cheesy humour.

Arcade Paradise is another business sim, but this time you’re running a video arcade... and a laundromat? It’s a rags to riches tale as you start out managing both businesses, cleaning gum off the side of your cabinets in between spin cycles. There’s a fair bit of grind at the start, as you take out the trash and clean toilets over and over while you wait for your one measly cabinet to earn enough to buy more. Once you have a few more cabinets, though, the business starts earning for you, leaving you time to play the games. Oh yes, all the cabinets you buy have fully playable games on them. They’re not licensed, but made by the devs, in homage to classic games. There’s clones of top-down GTA, Pac-Man, and 35 others. Many of these games have co-op and competitive multiplayer. There’s also a story mode, where your Dad is voiced by the guy who played Geralt in the Witcher games.

Cult of the Lamb is a cartoony take on running a cult, with some action-adventure thrown in. You’re a cute but possessed lamb, compelled by a demon to start a cult in its name. There are business sim elements as you recruit followers to run your village. Meanwhile, you crawl through dungeons to wipe out competing cults. It’s a blend reminiscent of Stardew Valley, though the aesthetic is way darker, like a strange mix of cute and creepy, like 2D Zelda smooshed with The Binding of Isaac. There are many ways to perish: you can die in the dungeons, or if you mismanage your cult, your followers can rise up against you. That’s OK though, because you can find the ringleaders and ritually execute them. No one said running a demonic cult would be easy.

Spider-Man is coming to PC this week. Finally, the PC Master Race can enjoy the funnest traversal in gaming. No open-world game ever saw me fast travel less than Spider-Man.

Rumbleverse is a free-to-play, brawler-royale game. It’s like Fortnite, but with melee wrestling instead of guns. So, you’re in Grapital City, on Planet Suplex. The battle royale gameplay is familiar enough: start on a map that’s shrinking, then run around to gear up and try to be the last one standing. You can find special moves and stat-boosting potions, plus every building is climbable. Each match is designed to last 10-15 minutes. There will, of course, be microtransactions, but it looks like just for cosmetics. It will also have crossplay. Looks like fun, if you ever play multiplayer.

Voyage is a console port of a cinematic, side-scrolling adventure game with hand-painted visuals. It’s wordless, non-violent, and you can play cooperatively. It’s the kind of game you could play with someone who doesn’t normally play games.

It’s a toss up between Cult of the Lamb and Rumbleverse this week. I’ll give the GOTW to Cult of the Lamb for having that Crusader Kings 3 water-cooler factor, where you can’t wait to tell your friends about how you made your followers eat poop last night.

Here's the list, now in release-date AND alphabetical order!

PC

  • 08-08

  • 69 Penny Hot
  • A Last Will and TESTament
  • Anime Studio Story
  • Bananner Nababber
  • beAt! -After the Summer-
  • Capitals
  • Chico and the Magic Orchards
  • CLASHBOWL
  • Diabolus et Angelus
  • Doc the Destroyer
  • Dungeons Adventurer
  • Escape
  • Fly Fly Tuk Tuk
  • Kanna : Sakura No.
  • Koa: The Forgotten Gods
  • Monkey Milk
  • Mutagenic
  • NEAVE 2
  • New Tanks
  • Oita Beppu Mystery Guide: The Warped Bamboo Lantern
  • OutWave
  • PIP
  • Plane Attack
  • Pocket League Story
  • Ren's Demons I
  • Stories school
  • That's Not How it Happened
  • The Accursed Crown of the Giant King
  • The Fighters Online
  • The Final Answer
  • Tyrant's Blessing
  • Underway (Matt McGreevy)
  • Wildlife Planet: The Incremental
  • 08-09

  • ALEON's Nightmare
  • Attacker-chan!
  • Chaos Three Kingdoms
  • Chess vs Chat
  • Collapsed
  • Elisius
  • Estella's Nightmare: Sealed Space and a Succubus's Curse
  • Farthest Frontier
  • Heaven Burns Red
  • Heavy Burden
  • Kojimachi
  • Milliopoly - Language Quiz and Learning (Early Access)
  • Rotten Apple - New York Fallen
  • SGS Operation Downfall
  • Stereo Boy
  • The Story Walker
  • Timothy and the Tower of Mu
  • Two Point Campus
  • Underwater battles
  • Welcome to Chornobayivka VR
  • 08-10

  • (square)
  • Arcade: Three Kingdoms War
  • Book Quest
  • Bright Garden
  • Colorful Recolor
  • Computer Club
  • Exiori
  • HOTEL GREENWOOD
  • Lost in Play
  • Maze Ablaze
  • Meta Sudoku
  • Mr.Egg:Adventure
  • Neko Journey
  • Neon Circle
  • Ninja Creator
  • Pud Pud in Weird World
  • Punhos de Repudio
  • ROUGH LOVE
  • See you tomorrow for the first time
  • Super Ball Mania
  • Swordsman of Heavenly Sword
  • Tennis the Menace
  • The Complex: Found Footage
  • Tower Fall
  • Tower of Fantasy
  • World of Cube
  • 08-11

  • Adventure of 30 cents
  • Anvil Life
  • Arcade Paradise
  • AsteroIdle
  • BVOVB - Bruising Vengeance of the Vintage Boxer
  • Cult of the Lamb
  • Death Sentence: Skeleton King
  • Dream Tower Defense
  • Dreams with Furry
  • Glyph-Bound: Kotodama
  • Idle Hero
  • Just Go
  • Jylko: Through The Song
  • Life Matters
  • Limousine Parking Simulator
  • Lost Branch of Legend
  • Midnight School Walk
  • Pandea Stones
  • Paranormal Preparatory School
  • Phantom zone Talon Fictions
  • Pitch Black: A Dusklight Story - Episode One
  • Planetary Defense: An Orbital Turret Defense System
  • Putinist Slayer
  • Re;quartz
  • Rumbleverse
  • STRANGER
  • Survivor of the Journey
  • Tightrope Theatre
  • 08-12

  • 3D Pacman
  • Anolock
  • Bell Kingdom
  • Between Two Worlds
  • Breakthrough
  • Bubble Shooter
  • Charlie and Friends
  • City Eye
  • Codename Nemesis
  • Cryptid Coffeehouse
  • DON'T STOP, YOU'LL DIE!
  • ESPIONAGE: Mafia Evolved
  • Ferrule Instincts
  • Flappy Bird (jjGame)
  • Grand Hike
  • Hellfire (1984)
  • Hide Alone
  • iles
  • Lightfire Defense
  • Limited Lifetime Corp
  • Marvel's Spider-Man Remastered
  • MONSTER CARDS
  • Moondrop Mountain
  • Nature & Wildlife - Jigsaw Puzzle
  • Nonozle
  • OrbiTank
  • Paper Flight - Super Speed Dash
  • Party Bunch
  • Project Speed 2
  • ProjectZombieSurvivors
  • Protocol Xeno
  • Rainbow Runner
  • Rasetsu Fumaden
  • Restaurant Manager Simulator
  • Run Sheldon
  • Scare Train VR
  • SokoChess
  • Space Tail: Lost in the Sands
  • Super Bullet Break
  • Termalloc
  • The Appraiser
  • The Cold Forest
  • Town Magic Song
  • Witchhazel Woods
  • Yumahorome ~Toki o Tometa Yakata de Asu o Sagasu Maigo-tachi~
  • 08-13

  • Arali
  • Dransik
  • graveyard keeper (Magic Cat)
  • Invisible Man VR In Eleanor's room
  • 08-14

  • Action: Vengeance
  • Kati The Astronaut

Xbox Series X

  • 08-09

  • Two Point Campus
  • 08-11

  • Arcade Paradise
  • Cult of the Lamb
  • Rumbleverse
  • 08-12

  • Voyage

Xbox One

  • 08-09

  • Two Point Campus
  • 08-11

  • Arcade Paradise
  • Cult of the Lamb
  • Rumbleverse
  • 08-12

  • Voyage

PlayStation 5

  • 08-09

  • Classic Racers Elite
  • Two Point Campus
  • 08-11

  • Arcade Paradise
  • Cult of the Lamb
  • Rumbleverse
  • 08-12

  • Voyage

PlayStation 4

  • 08-09

  • Two Point Campus
  • 08-11

  • Arcade Paradise
  • Cult of the Lamb
  • Rumbleverse
  • 08-12

  • Super Bullet Break
  • Voyage

Switch

  • 08-08

  • Tyrant's Blessing
  • 08-09

  • Two Point Campus
  • 08-10

  • Book Quest
  • Cleo - a pirate's tale
  • Lost in Play
  • 08-11

  • Arcade Paradise
  • Cat Slide Tiles
  • Cult of the Lamb
  • Japanese NEKOSAMA Escape The Sento
  • Jeopardy! PlayShow
  • Jeopardy! PlayShow: Best of the 1980's
  • Jeopardy! PlayShow: Captains Classics
  • Jeopardy! PlayShow: College Championship
  • Jeopardy! PlayShow: Teen Tournament
  • Jeopardy! PlayShow: The Road to the All-Star Games
  • Jeopardy! PlayShow: Tournament of Champions
  • Last Threshold
  • Sengoku Princess
  • Shin-chan: Me and the Professor on Summer Vacation - The Endless Seven-Day Journey
  • 08-12

  • Sakura MMO
  • Super Bullet Break
  • Voyage

Comments

Picked up COTL last night. The upgrade systems are a little non-obvious. Followers seem to lose faith stupid quick, but then all the more reason to put them in a pillory and re-educate them.

Oh yeah, and SO.MUCH.POOP.