Yep, it's true. An unemployed cereal-eater who knows just two touchdowns worth of plays is back in the NFL. Here, let him tell you himself:
In case you had the sound turned down, let me transcribe the video:
Ï'M ßÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÇK! Ï'M ßÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÇK!!!
And if you prefer GIFs to videos:
And if you prefer still photos:
All that was from Cam's VERY FIRST REGULAR SEASON PLAY SINCE 2020! And on his next play, he threw for a TD!! And on his next play ... nah, let's not ruin it.
Here's me watching the game Sunday:
Sunday was glorious. There's no other word for it.
Meanwhile in Week 10:
* The Ravens got smoked by the two-win Dolphins.
* The Browns (weren't they good?) lost by 38 to Patriots and presumptive ROTY McCorkle (who looked merely mortal a week ago against Carolina).
* The Falcons (not good) lost by 40 (!!!) to the Cowboys. Lots of blowouts this week.
* Matthew "Matt" Stafford might be only the second-best thrower of things in his family).
* Mahomes can throw short after all, and the Chiefs aren't dead. In fact they're leading their division.
* The Browns (weren't they good?) lost by 38 to Patriots and presumptive ROTY McCorkle (who looked merely mortal a week ago against Carolina)
* The Seahawks got shut out?!
* Teddy Bridgewater cannot tackle.
* And the Lions remain on pace to become the first 0-16-1 team in NFL history because Mason Rudolph is about as sorry as Jared Goof.
What I'm trying to say is that Cam's two-TDs-in-two-plays thing might not have been the weirdest thing of Week 10.
GIF OF THE WEEK
What in the world is this old man doing?!
Wrong answers only.
DRAW PLAY COMIC PANEL OF THE WEEK
ÅÑD HĒRĒ ¥ØŪ ÅRĒ THÏÑKÏÑG Ï ₩ÅŠ DØÑĒ ₩ÏTH ÇÅM:
STAT OF THE WEEK
The QB who throws short of the sticks most often in the NFL is ... Teddy Bridgewater!
It's a very crude analysis: 3rd-down completion percentage (minus) 3rd-down conversation rate (equals) differential.
Higher differential says you complete a lot of third down throws but don't convert (ergo you're throwing short of the sticks). Lower differential says you're completing a lot of third down throws and converting the down (because you're throwing past the sticks or your receiver can make it to the 1st down line) OR you stink.
Teddy B completes 67.4% but converts just 32.6%. Davis Mills, Jared Goff, Ryan Tannehill and Kirk Cousins are 2 through 5 on this list.
At the bottom are Josh Allen (54.5% / 49.4%, with the low completion rate and high convert rate suggest he's throwing past the sticks on third down), Russell Wilson (40.6% / 31.3%), Stafford, Mahomes and Lawrence (at 42.4% / 29.4%).
The whole list is at the link. Like I said, it's not perfect but it gives you a pretty good idea of who's checking things down. Interesting stuff.
QAaron WATCH
Green Bay's starting QB was back on the field Sunday. The Packers won and are now tied with the Cardinals and Titans for the best record in the NFL. Not bad for a guy who could die any minute now!
POWER RANKINGS
From USA Today this week:
1. Packers (3rd last week)
2. Cowboys (6)
3. Titans (4)
4. Cardinals (1)
5. Buccaneers (2)
Biggest gainer: Panthers! (+9 to 17th)
Biggest loser: Raiders (-5 to 15th) and Broncos (-5 to 17th)
PLAYOFF WATCH
Approximately:
AFC division leaders: Bills (6-3), Ravens (6-3), Titans (8-2), Chiefs (6-4)
AFC wild cards: Steelers (5-3-1), Patriots (6-4), Bengals/Chargers/Raiders (5-4, but apparently the Chargers hold the tie-breaker)
NFC division leaders: Cowboys (7-2), Packers (8-2), Buccaneers (6-3), Cardinals (8-2)
NFC wild cards: Rams (7-3), Saints (5-4), Panthers (5-5)
WEEK 11 SCHEDULE
Your coverage maps, as always.
Thursday night: Patriots at Falcons (Fox, Amazon, NFL)
Sunday early: Saints at Eagles, Dolphins at Jets, Footballers at ₽ÅÑTHĒRŠ (CAM NEWTON/RON RIVERA REUNION BOWL), Colts at Bills, Lions at Browns, Niners at Jags (THE LEGION BOWL), Texans at Titans, Packers at Vikings, Ravens at Bears
Sunday late: Bengals at Raiders, Cardinals at Seahawks, *Cowboys at Chiefs* (GOTW)
Sunday night: Steelers at Chargers (NBC)
Monday night: Giants at Bucs (ESPN + Manningcast)
Bye: Broncos, Rams
BEFORE WE GO
Lest we forget Dolphins guard Robert Hunt almost scoring a TD (he did score; he just wasn't supposed to catch the ball), here's a reminder that Big Guys have been doing cool stuff with footballs for years now.
Here's nearly 8 minutes of Big Guys rumblin' stumblin' and bumblin'. Good stuff.
Till next week!
Did the Browns play last week? I didn't see anything in your post about it.
I watched that game... they did not.
* Matthew "Matt" Stafford might be only the second-best thrower of things in his family).
Can I like a single line of text?
Niners at Jags (THE LEGION BOWL)
I knew this was going to be here. 
Last time, it was the just-acquired-Garoppolo Niners that won this game, even though it was the playoff-bound Jaguars who I was rooting to win.
This year, it will probably be the Niners who win again, but this time that's the result I'm hoping for. Niners are still in the wild card hunt, while the Jaguars need to lose every game in sight to force ownership to hit that Reset button.
Enix wrote:Niners at Jags (THE LEGION BOWL)
I knew this was going to be here.
Last time, it was the just-acquired-Garoppolo Niners that won this game, even though it was the playoff-bound Jaguars who I was rooting to win.
This year, it will probably be the Niners who win again, but this time that's the result I'm hoping for. Niners are still in the wild card hunt, while the Jaguars need to lose every game in sight to force ownership to hit that Reset button.
I have never read a more convincing argument to bet the Jags straight up.
Jared Goff possibly out on Sunday.
Tim Boyle would be starting.
Can someone explain why $wag isn't playing? Or Kap? I mean, Tim Boyle? He wasn't even a good college QB. How in the hell is he in the NFL?
Ï'M ßÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÇK! Ï'M ßÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÇK!!!
Do you have to install a font pack or is there a Cam site you copy/paste from?
Kap, you know the answer to.
Our boy $wag, I do not understand. All he did in preseason was move the chains. Yeah it's preseason, but that's all you can ask for from a bottom-of-the-roster QB. He got a tryout at Packers rookie camp this offseason, but they went with Kurt Benkert.
I guess teams don't see Kelly as the classic clipboard-holding backup type? He oughta be on a practice squad, especially with the expanded squads.
He apparently has his sights set on the USFL next year. I wouldn't be surprised if he leveraged playing well there into another shot at an NFL camp. But I'm going to be a $wag believer until the end, so...
Ï'M ßÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÇK! Ï'M ßÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÇK!!!Do you have to install a font pack or is there a Cam site you copy/paste from?
Wow and this is the one week I would definitely cheer for the Panthers because F the WFT and their owner. But man, this thread will be insufferable next week if there's a Cam winning streak. 
Wow and this is the one week I would definitely cheer for the Panthers because F the WFT and their owner. But man, this thread will be insufferable next week if there's a Cam winning streak. ;)
The WFT game is always a circle the date game for me because I grew up in the heart of their fan base. John Riggins was cool, and Doug Williams' first half in the Super Bowl against Denver was a thing of beauty. But Joe Gibbs was (still is) a sanctimonious ass, and the current ownership has dragged an already horrible franchise straight down into hell.
I like the new uniforms, tho. Burgundy and red don't hurt the eyes, and the numbers on the helmets are an all-time classic look.
All that said, I'm expecting Cam to go 9-22-2-138, the Oakley sunglasses/camo crowd to start the fourth-quarter chant WE WANT SAM (or Derek Anderson, same thing) and the Panthers to lose by 20. Panthers were 6-2 going into a Thursday night game against Pittsburgh, and one dirty shot by a Watt brother changed the entire course of a franchise. Weird sh!t happens to Carolina.
But if the Panthers win ...
Ï'M ßÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÇK! Ï'M ßÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÇK!!!Do you have to install a font pack or is there a Cam site you copy/paste from?
Google "Cam Newton font." There's a bunch out there. This is the first one that comes up for me. Legion's link works, too.
Jared Goff possibly out on Sunday.
Tim Boyle would be starting.
The most Browns thing ever would be Tim Boyle putting an end to the Browns realistic playoff chances
I've never had a single bad thought about Tim Boyle as a QB, and, yes, this means I've never heard of Tim Boyle.
*checks PFR*
Ohhhhh . . . the guy the Packers called in at the end of blowouts so Aaron Rodgers wouldn't get his right knee dirty on kneeldowns. Have to say, this guy has one of the most hilarious statlines I think I've ever seen; in two seasons, 11 games played, 0 started, 0/0 for 0 yards passing, but 18 rushes for -16 yards.
Tim Boyle played 3 years of FBS ball at UConn. He finished his time there with 1237 passing yards, 1 TD, and 13 INTs.
Then he dropped down to the FCS level and played for Eastern Kentucky. In his one year there, he threw for 2134 yards, 11 TDs, and 13 INTs.
I'm not sure I've ever seen a QB make it into the NFL with worse college production.
Those are some numbers
Tim Boyle played 3 years of FBS ball at UConn. He finished his time there with 1237 passing yards, 1 TD, and 13 INTs.
Then he dropped down to the FCS level and played for Eastern Kentucky. In his one year there, he threw for 2134 yards, 11 TDs, and 13 INTs.
I'm not sure I've ever seen a QB make it into the NFL with worse college production.
So, who's his dad?
So, who's his dad?
Academy Award winning film director Danny Boyle.
That's not actually true, but I didn't have any other answer.
Tim Boyle played 3 years of FBS ball at UConn. ...
UConn has had some interesting QBs over the years:
* Tyler Lorenzen, who won a Super Bowl with the Saints as a practice squad TE (and appears to be no relation to super-swole former Giants QB Jared Lorenzen).
* Johnny McEntee, who served as President Trump's body man and played a role in a lot of the, ah, things that happened at the end of the term. (No D&D comments please; Google has details)
* And of course Dan Orlovsky, who as the starting QB for the Lions pioneered the safety scramble.
Orlovsky has redeemed himself since then. If you haven't checked out his interesting and informative QB School video series, you owe it to yourself.
PS: Might as well continue the theme of the Week 11 thread. Here's Cam at today's presser:
It's definitely playoffs or bust for the Panthers, who somehow hold the 7th seed in the NFC.
Edited bc I apparently can't tell my failed NFL QBs turned TV talking heads apart.
Mr. Hunter.
Mr. Matthews.
Tonight, the Falcons play the Patriots and there will be a lunar eclipse that is expected to last 3 hours and 28 minutes. It's too good to be true. LOL.
/head slap
TOTALLY FORGOT that tonight is the 28-3 Bowl.
Here's the full game if you want to relive it.
(I'd do it for the FaLOLcons, not because I love the Pats.)
The McCorkle slobbering on tonight's broadcast is really getting to me.
Didn't anyone at Fox watch the Week 9 game?! You know, the one when Carolina made him look very much like he should have stayed in school another year?
McCorkle was 12 for 18 for 139 yards, 1 TD, 1 terrible pick (hit Stephon Gilmore* in the numbers), sacked twice, fumbled one, QBR of 28.5 (which is terrible), passer rating of 85.2 (which is below average).
* no longer a Patriot
Remind me, what was the final score of that game?
But seriously, they need to hype this game somehow to get people to stick around and McCorkle is their best bet.
What's with all the McCorkle hate (my new favorite name). McCorkle might look a bit clumsy, and is a bit sluggish avoiding tackles, has an everyman's physique, but he put up a respectable 13 before the half!
What's with all the McCorkle hate (my new favorite name). McCorkle might look a bit clumsy, and is a bit sluggish avoiding tackles, has an everyman's physique, but he put up a respectable 13 before the half!
He plays for the Patriots.
What an amazing throw slurp fest.
Followed up by a pick right after. Not hating just loving the rollercoaster.
The entire AFC is still a mess.
The entire AFC is still a mess.
NFL, for the most part, this year.
Pages