NFL 2021: The Week 6 thread

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I don't have much to say about a wild Week 5 — the missed kicks, the frenzied finishes, the close games, the injuries, the Chiefs' collapse, all of that. The Gruden thing is profoundly sad to me because we hold these guys up (well, maybe not Mr. Spider 2 Y Banana; he was kinda of silly before he became a pariah) and then they disappoint us with their sheer awfulness. Almost. Every. Damn. Time. And as more of these emails come out, more of these jackholes will be exposed.

At the risk of slipping into cynicism and despair, I gotta say: Lamar Jackson balled out Monday night! Dude is a legit NFL passer, and I dare any of you mooks to say differently. I went to bed after the Colts scored late in the third and woke up to news of a miracle finish. That gives me some hope, right?

VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Back in 2019, the Ringer's Kevin Clark coined a phrase that has held up pretty well: "The Seahawks have literally never played in a normal game."

Take last Thursday's home loss to the Rams. A fan got attached by a giant bird of prey. Both starting QBs suffered finger injuries. There was a Geno Smith sighting! Troy Aikman said the word "buttcheek." And then there was this, the Double Punt:

(Here's a version with more angles overdubbed with postgame interviews.)

Maybe the most impressive thing about this play is the one-handed scoop of a spinning football.

By now y'all know that a double kick is legal. Here's the rule that spells it out.

STAT OF THE WEEK

The Browns became the first team in NFL history to score 40 points, not turn the ball over ... and lose! CONGRATS BROWNS

The Lions, meanwhile, became the first team to lose two games in one season on last-minute 50+ yard FGs. The Lions lost both of those games (to the Ravens in Week 3 and the Vikings last week) by identical 19-17 scores. Weird, right?

GIFS OF THE WEEK

IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/9hP9XquHH7WjbpggUT/giphy.gif)

Sad Patrick Mahomes. No one figured the Chiefs would start the season be 2-3.

BrownsPullingChargersRBintotheEndZone.gif

Sorry, y'all. I tried to find this GIF but failed.

IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/PIo3oWQw7gt8dZxVU9/giphy.gif)

I know this guy doesn't believe me. I don't believe that he's an NFL head coach, so there.

PANTHERS GIF OF THE WEEK

I'm sure Jalen Hurts thought it would be cute to do Cam Newton's Superman shirt-rip after scoring against Carolina on Sunday. Problem is, almost no one on the current roster played with Cam. And half the fan base has (a) moved on from Cam or (b) was glad to see the Panthers move his ass out of Charlotte. (I'm in Camp C, as y'all know: The Panthers would be way more fun, and maybe not as sorry, with Cam at QB. But I digress.

IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/6BNrNrzbuTfAR4hjhz/giphy.gif)

OK, this guy remembers:

IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/pqxDAm02HFy3CaWJGd/giphy.gif)

Carolina Fan, ladies and gentlemen!

POWER RANKINGS

Via NFL.com this week:

1. Bills (No. 3 last week)
2. Cardinals (1)
3. Bucs (2)
4. Cowboys (6)
5. Chargers (7)
32. Jags (30)

Biggest gainer: Saints (+8 to 11th)

Biggest loser: Raiders (-9 to 21st)

WEEK 6 SCHEDULE

Ooooof. What a week. Lots of bad matchups, especially in the prime-time slots, plus a Sunday morning game involving two teams that no one (not even Legion) wants to see. But we'll watch because we're suckers and because all sorts of weird sh!t might happen. Here are your coverage maps so you can see which crap game you get in your market.

Thursday night: Bucs at Eagles (Fox, Amazon, NFL)

Sunday morning: Dolphins at Jags (CBS)

Sunday early: Chiefs at Footballers, Rams at Giants, Texans at Colts, Bengals at Lions, Packers at Bears, Chargers at Ravens, Vikings at Panthers

Sunday late: Cardinals at Browns, Raiders at Broncos, Cowboys at Patriots (GOTW)

Sunday night: Seahawks at Steelers

Monday night: Bills at Titans

Off: Falcons, Saints, Jets, Niners

BEFORE WE GO

I was going to link to the latest Gridiron Heights that I missed last week, but it featured Derek Carr and his now-former coach, so needless to say it didn't age well. It's here if you want to be disappointed about stuff.

Those Chargers are no joke. If the Ravens get past them with the W, they have to be on the short list of Superbowl favorites.

That double punt was interesting.. it looks like he could have run it for a first down... imagine... having your punt blocked and still running for a first down... how disheartening would that be for the returning team... oh wait.. this is the NFL, not college football thread.

Carlbear95 wrote:

That double punt was interesting.. it looks like he could have run it for a first down... imagine... having your punt blocked and still running for a first down... how disheartening would that be for the returning team... oh wait.. this is the NFL, not college football thread.

I thought that too but he punts it from the line of scrimmage and still have 14 years to go from there. Right as he gets the punt off, there are defensive players around him. So the second punt was the best choice.

Paleocon wrote:

Those Chargers are no joke.

No kidding. They're playing pretty well right now. Let's see if it holds up for three more months.

And if I were ranking teams by excitement/entertainment factor:

1. Ravens (bc Lamar, of course)
2. Chargers
3. Chiefs
4. Browns
5. Packers

Runners-up: Bills, Cardinals, Titans (bc D. Henry)

Paleocon wrote:

Those Chargers are no joke. If the Ravens get past them with the W, they have to be on the short list of Superbowl favorites.

Maybe they'll make the top 5 of power rankings at least...

Vector wrote:
Carlbear95 wrote:

That double punt was interesting.. it looks like he could have run it for a first down... imagine... having your punt blocked and still running for a first down... how disheartening would that be for the returning team... oh wait.. this is the NFL, not college football thread.

I thought that too but he punts it from the line of scrimmage and still have 14 years to go from there. Right as he gets the punt off, there are defensive players around him. So the second punt was the best choice.

https://twitter.com/WSUCougarFB/stat...

So ridiculous they made a joke video out of it... imagine rooting for the team in blue.

garion333, last thread wrote:

Ain't gonna happen. Mayock is likely jettisoned as soon as season ends.

That's the most likely scenario, but I don't think it's a foregone conclusion.

The Raiders have fired 3 head coaches in the Mark Davis era, and the only time the GM was fired at the same time was when it was the same person (Hue). Reggie McKenzie survived Dennis Allen and Jack Del Rio both, if only for a year after Del Rio.

There's definitely some scenarios where Mayock stays. If Rich Bisaccia does well enough as interim to get a shot to stick around, then they probably don't go GM shopping.

Another scenario I've seen: Mayock sticks around to bring in Doug Pederson. Mayock's a Philly guy and he was doing the preseason TV for the Eagles during Pederson's time in Philly, and Pederson's gonna want a friendly face as GM at his next stop after dealing with the Eagles front office.

Full house cleaning should still be the betting favorite, but I think Mark Davis is more likely than the average owner to keep the status quo.

Enix wrote:

plus a Sunday morning game involving two teams that no one (not even Legion) wants to see. But we'll watch because we're suckers and because all sorts of weird sh!t might happen.

I might catch the end of it, but I'm sure as hell not waking up at 6:30am Pacific on a Sunday to watch it.

Here, let me spoil it for you:

Jags are weirdly competitive for a while as Trevor Lawrence makes the offense go. But the Dolphins team, whose leading rusher couldn't crack 30 yards in the last 2 games, suddenly has a bunch of Earl Campbells on the field, thanks to Jaguar tackling failures. Andrew Wingard whiffs on hits faster than you can say "Sabby Piscitelli". Urban watches from the sidelines, giving no indication that he's actually participating in whatever is happening on the field. Jaylen Waddle has his first big breakout game, while the Brits sing the praises of his QB "Jake Brisket". Reggie McKenzie subtweets Mark Davis with passive-aggressive social media posts.

Dolphins win by two scores.

Can someone explain to me how in the hell JOK fell so far in the draft? Dude is on point.

Also, Baker has 4 TDs and 2 INTs through five games. Yeesh.

*Legion* wrote:

Urban watches from a nearby pub.

FTFY.

garion333 wrote:

Can someone explain to me how in the hell JOK fell so far in the draft? Dude is on point.

Before I answer, a reminder that JOK was near the very top of my list of who I wanted the Jags to spend the first pick of round 2 pick on (and had I realized what shape Jenkins’ back was in, JOK would have been 1st). I was fully on board with JOK as a difference making talent.

But to answer the question: because the last highly drafted linebacker with a somewhat similar athletic profile was Patrick Queen.

garion333 wrote:

Also, Baker has 4 TDs and 2 INTs through five games. Yeesh.

That’s only 1 passing TD more than Trey Lance.

*Legion* wrote:

"Sabby Piscitelli".

Careful; say that name twice more, and Chris Conte will show up on your team's roster.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

"Sabby Piscitelli".

Careful; say that name twice more, and Chris Conte will show up on your team's roster.

Even as a Cal fan I never understood how Chris Conte stayed in the NFL for 8 or whatever years. Was mediocre at Cal, and I saw all his coverage gaffes for 4 years in college. Was probably above average in run support, but that's because he would jump on every play action/RPO so had a bit of a headstart,. More often than not was the guy chasing the TE down the middle of the field that just went by him. Of all the Cal players in the NFL past or present, he's probably my least favorite. Bryan Anger in the 3rd round made more sense to me than Conte the year before.

Our Jags stat of the day (and apologies if I'm tannerhaus-ing):

Jacksonville is the first NFL team in the Super Bowl era not to have made a field goal through the first five weeks of the season (source).

Now for a trivia question: Who is the Jags' kicker?

(I honestly have no idea.)

*Legion* wrote:
garion333 wrote:

Can someone explain to me how in the hell JOK fell so far in the draft? Dude is on point.

Before I answer, a reminder that JOK was near the very top of my list of who I wanted the Jags to spend the first pick of round 2 pick on (and had I realized what shape Jenkins’ back was in, JOK would have been 1st). I was fully on board with JOK as a difference making talent.

But to answer the question: because the last highly drafted linebacker with a somewhat similar athletic profile was Patrick Queen.

I gotta stop giving you fodder.

PATRICK QUEEN ISN'T A BUST HE'S ON THE DEVIN WHITE RECLAMATION PROJECT PATH!

Admittedly, the Devin White path isn't necessarily a great one to be on.

Enix wrote:

Now for a trivia question: Who is the Jags' kicker?

(I honestly have no idea.)

I, uh, don't know either.

Josh Lambo is hurt. They have some random dude I've never heard of now.

garion333 wrote:
*Legion* wrote:
garion333 wrote:

Can someone explain to me how in the hell JOK fell so far in the draft? Dude is on point.

Before I answer, a reminder that JOK was near the very top of my list of who I wanted the Jags to spend the first pick of round 2 pick on (and had I realized what shape Jenkins’ back was in, JOK would have been 1st). I was fully on board with JOK as a difference making talent.

But to answer the question: because the last highly drafted linebacker with a somewhat similar athletic profile was Patrick Queen.

I gotta stop giving you fodder.

PATRICK QUEEN ISN'T A BUST HE'S ON THE DEVIN WHITE RECLAMATION PROJECT PATH!

Admittedly, the Devin White path isn't necessarily a great one to be on.

Wait, there's a Devin White Reclamation Project Path? White was decent his rookie year, great his second, and solid here in year three, so, uh, not a lot to reclaim. And since this is his second year, it does look like Queen isn't quite on the Devin White path . . .

*Legion* wrote:
Enix wrote:

Now for a trivia question: Who is the Jags' kicker?

(I honestly have no idea.)

I, uh, don't know either.

Josh Lambo is hurt. They have some random dude I've never heard of now.

And now we know how Urban Meyer will go down in the annals of NFL history as the first coach to eschew points from kicking, never settling for three when double is better.

Next step? No punting.

He's a genius!

The Jags have attempted field goals, they're just 0-for-4 on them.

They've all been from 40+ (3 of them from 50+) because the Jaguars are bad at football. And 3 of those were attempted by Lambo before they shut him back down, as he was trying to return from a hip injury he suffered last year.

They're also 9-of-12 on extra points.

Lambo missed on purpose. It's all a part of His Holiness' plan.

He didn't miss. The field goal just went mysterious ways.

Remember when people were hyping Spencer Rattler as the potential #1 overall pick?

He was benched during the game last week, and true freshman Caleb Williams came in, rallied Oklahoma to the win over Texas, and is now expected to start for OU going forward.

Now it's a good bet Rattler is headed for the transfer portal and the 2023 draft. Unless the freshman falls on his face and Rattler gets the job back and lights it up. But given that Rattler's thrown 5 TDs vs 5 INTs in his 5 games vs. FBS schools (padded his stats with one 5 TD, 0 INT game against FCS school Western Carolina), a rally back to the top of the 2022 draft board seems unlikely.

Also, since I'm mentioning Spencer Rattler, the obligatory:

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/iUGvHmu.jpg)

He does have a good name though.

No new NFL Wikileaks today, but we got Terry Bradshaw on live TV creeping on Erin Andrews.

Jalen Hurts is very good at avoiding pressure and very bad at everything else related to being a QB. The Bucs feel like they're half-asleep and Sherman went out early leaving the secondary even thinner, and the Eagles offense tonight has basically been either Hurts scrambling a bit or a couple PI calls. I mean, it's better than a usual Thursday game, but, uh, if you're not watching, you're not missing much.

I swear I just saw Cockrell bring down Sanders with a stone cold stunner.

garion333 wrote:

Can someone explain to me how in the hell JOK fell so far in the draft? Dude is on point.

I always assumed it was because GMs don't want to take a 1st round swing at a tweener athlete, because they're usually average-to-pretty good in their oversize role, and injury prone in their undersize role.

Like Ryan Shazier.

Rat Boy wrote:

No new NFL Wikileaks today, but we got Terry Bradshaw on live TV creeping on Erin Andrews.

What's that you say?

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/14/s...

For those of us who have already burned through the NYT's free articles for the month.

Edit:

As to players who are looking at the release of these emails and wondering whether and to what extent they expose the true and authentic attitudes held toward them by high-level members of the NFL, look no farther than Pash’s flippant response to an email from Allen in which he said he’s “trying to lower a player’s salary at the moment.”

Said Pash: “The Lord’s work.”

Good grief.

*Legion* wrote:

Remember when people were hyping Spencer Rattler as the potential #1 overall pick?

He was benched during the game last week, and true freshman Caleb Williams came in, rallied Oklahoma to the win over Texas, and is now expected to start for OU going forward.

Now it's a good bet Rattler is headed for the transfer portal and the 2023 draft. Unless the freshman falls on his face and Rattler gets the job back and lights it up. But given that Rattler's thrown 5 TDs vs 5 INTs in his 5 games vs. FBS schools (padded his stats with one 5 TD, 0 INT game against FCS school Western Carolina), a rally back to the top of the 2022 draft board seems unlikely.

Also, since I'm mentioning Spencer Rattler, the obligatory:

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/iUGvHmu.jpg)

But how similar is that to Mahomes? Obviously different time and class but if I was Rattler, coming out and getting to go to a team in the 20-32 range would be awesome (other than the massive loss in rookie contract salary). Go to Tampa Bay and back up Brady and take over in 5 years once he's 50? Sign me up

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