NFL 2021: The Week 5 thread

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Here's how Week 4 went for a lot of teams (Patriots, Panthers, Rams, Jags, Saints, etc.):

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

That's gotta be the loudest doink I've ever heard. Or maybe to paraphrase Giants safety/coin-flip caller Jabrill Peppers, maybe that's more of a BOOM (NFSW/omg the language)

CONGRATS TO ...

... that old dude in the header pic. On Sunday Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr. beat his old team and became the fourth player (at least) to have Ws over all 32 NFL teams. (The other three, according to the interwebs: Drew Brees, Brett Favre and Peyton Manning.)

Even more impressively, the GOFOAT (Greatest Old F**ker Of All Time) now holds the NFL's all-time passing yardage record.

IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/5SD9xKCPsckyD1kmKu/giphy.gif)

The dude who used to hold the record approves, I guess. Maybe the best part was that he was forced to watch it happen because of work LOL.

Anyway, there's a pretty good chance that Brady's record won't be broken anytime soon. Here's the all-time passing list with just active (loosely defined; see the guy at No. 10) players included.

1. Tom Brady — 80,560
2. Ben Roethlisberger — 61,381 (6th overall)
3. Matt Ryan — 56,757 (9th)
4. Aaron Rodgers — 52,142 (10th)
5. Matthew Stafford — 46,331 (14th)
6. Joe Flacco — 40,931 (19th)
7. Ryan Fitzpatrick — 34,990 (30th)
7. Russell Wilson — 34,990 (30th)
9. Andy Dalton — 34,026 (36th)
10. CAAAAAAAAM — 31,698 (46th)

My back-of-the-envelope math says that Ryan trails Brady by six seasons, Rodgers by seven and Stafford by eight. Maybe Stafford stays in the league until he's 41. But Brady's still playing, and there's a pretty decent chance he could have 90K yards by the time he's done. I wouldn't be against it. He's not the GOFOAT for nothing.

Congrats, also, to Andy Reid, who on Sunday became the first NFL coach to win 100 games for two different teams. Maybe the best part of this record is that he won No. 100 for the Chiefs ... against his old team, the Eagles. OH YEAH.

IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/nrVOIwFKIeos8/giphy.gif)

STREAKS

Here are a couple of streaks to watch in Week 5.

First: The Ravens, who have run for 100 or more yards in their past 43 games. They're now tied for the NFL record with the 1974-77 Pittsburgh Steelers (Franco Harris, Rocky Bleier).

Second: The Jags are poised to be the third team in NFL history to lose 20 straight. The Chicago Cardinals (1942-45) hold the record with 29 straight Ls; the expansion Bucs lost 26 from 1976-77.

VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Kyler Murray is a wizard — that's Aaron Donald he's faking out there — and the Cardinals are the last remaining undefeated team. Here are more Murray highlights from Week 4.

GIF OF THE WEEK

IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/G1HYXUdhqzq6DH1BHV/giphy.gif)

WTF is this?!

IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/KXCap904h7Q8aRnGDI/giphy.gif)

My thoughts exactly.

PANTHERS GIF OF THE WEEK

This is what a derailed hype train looks like:

IMAGE(https://media.pff.com/2021/10/DL5-WK4.gif)

Watch the right side (your left) of the Cowboys O-line. Look at them push Derrick Brown (95) into Week 7. Watch 175-pound Brian Burns (53) get shoved into the 2022 season. Then watch the Dallas TE get off his block and push Jeremy Chinn (21) all the way to Fort Worth. (Chinn to his credit recovers and pushes Elliott out of bounds.) No. 24, btw, is former Jag AJ Bouye, which is probably why Carolina thought it prudent to trade for Stephon Gilmore.

Remember how I said that Zeke Elliott looked a lot slimmer on "Hard Knocks" this year? It shows on this play. Dude has some wheels.

And remember how the national media praised the Carolina D? It's easy to play run defense against the Jets, Saints and Texans when you're up by a couple of scores. Those featherweight DEs aren't doing Carolina any favors.

The Panthers' schedule, meanwhile, is very much in their favor. Their next seven games are Eagles, Vikings, Giants, Falcons, Patriots, Cardinals and WFT. Realistically that's five wins, maybe six. (I figure the Cards are a pretty sure L; Vikings and Patriots are tough outs.) So, yeah, Carolina could be 8-3 going into T-giving. That's right: Sam Darnold could be going to the playoffs this year. What a world.

WE'RE AT THE QUARTER POLE

PFF came out with its First-Quarter All-NFL Team this week. It's way too early to be thinking about MVP and crap like this, but it's a good list of players we should all be watching this season.

POWER RANKINGS

Checking in with PFT this week:

1. Bills (No. 3 last week)
2. Cardinals (6)
3. Bucs (2)
4. Ravens (4)
5. Rams (1)
32. Jags (31)

Biggest gainer: Seahawks (+6 to 14th)

Biggest loser: Dolphins (-7 to 28th)

WEEK 5 SCHEDULE

Interesting week. The Thursday night game is very watchable (and watchable on multiple channels). There's a Sunday morning game. Giants/Cowboys is the late Sunday national game of the week. And the Sunday night game foreshadows the playoffs. Oh, and here are your coverage maps.

Thursday night: Rams at Seahawks (Fox/Amazon/NFL Network)

Sunday morning: Jets vs Falcons in London (NFL Network if you care)

Sunday early: Lions at Vikings, Saints at Footballers, Patriots at Texas, Dolphins at Bucs, Packers at Bengals, Broncos at Steelers, Eagles at Panthers, Titans at Jaguars

Sunday late: Browns at Chargers, Bears at Raiders, Niners at Cardinals, Giants at Cowboys
... game of the week??

Sunday night: Bills at Chiefs

Monday night: Colts at Ravens (no ManningCast, boo)

First!

Coverage map fails me this week. My early game is GB at Cinn (I think at least one of these teams is completely fraudulent), late games are Browns @ Chargers (the good one) and NYG at Dallas.

Not finished! Shoo. Scram. Get out.

Enix wrote:

Second: The Jags are poised to be the third team in NFL history to lose 20 straight. The Chicago Cardinals (1942-45) hold the record with 29 straight Ls; the expansion Bucs lost 26 from 1976-77.

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/gOXCajc.png)

I think the thing I am enjoying most about this season is how really none of the preseason narratives of dominance by a handful of preordained teams is really materializing they way they were predicted. The Chiefs are, for whatever reason, unable to score their ways away from a bad defense. The Bucs are looking vulnerable to decidedly mediocre teams. Green Bay dropped one to the Jekyl/Hyde Saints.....

It doesn't feel like the season has hit the predictable stride yet and massive upsets are still very possible at least at the very top of the power rankings. The bottom, however, looks pretty consistent.

Eh, I don't know, preseason narratives exist to drive eyeballs to HAWT TAKE video clips, and last year the Chiefs were going to go unbeaten and blah blah blah. While the Chiefs defense being THAT bad is surprising, they're a couple bounces away from 4-0. The major caveat on the Bucs' potential dominant season was "if they don't have injury problems", and the top three CBs are injured right now. Green Bay, well, they have a history of an inexplicable loss or two a year anyways. This season just feels pretty normal right now.

NFLPA names Marshawn Lynch as chief brand ambassador. "The NFLPA: Run through a motherf*cker's face over and over and over and over and over and over again."

I missed this from last week.. Biscuits and Gravy!

Cards or maybe more so Murray looks amazing.

Can't wait for Kliff Kingsbury to muck it up. I doubt they win the NFC West even if Murray is MVP level.

jowner wrote:

Cards or maybe more so Murray looks amazing.

Can't wait for Kliff Kingsbury to muck it up. I doubt they win the NFC West even if Murray is MVP level.

Kingsbury had worked out some of his play calling kinks. I don't like the guy either, but the play calling and design is better.

It also helps that Murray is playing at a high level and the team has something like four legit starting WRs now.

All it takes is a couple key injuries and theyll be back to an underperforming team again. Not like they have much depth outside of WR and RB.

Stupid bird attacked the wrong team!

Neither of these teams has a kicker.

Geno Smith! I know that guy, he was in the crossword I did last night.

Why is Geno in?

Russell needs to pour some magic water on his fingy.

Top_Shelf wrote:

Why is Geno in?

IMAGE(https://larrybrownsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/russell-wilson-finger-injury.jpg)

Hey Lamar MNF! Hope I'm home in time. Missed tonight's game completely with family stuff and have the same thing schedule for Monday. Bah.

Next week’s GIFs/videos better have the double punt.

Report: Jon Gruden used racial trope in 2011 email regarding DeMaurice Smith.

The league reportedly became aware of the email during its investigation of the Washington Football Team. It’s possible that Gruden was communicating with former Washington CEO Bruce Allen, who worked with Gruden in Tampa and Oakland. In 2011, Gruden worked as the main analyst for Monday Night Football.

The WFT investigation resulted in a review of, per the report, more than 650,000 emails. Earlier this week, a summary of that review was presented to Commissioner Roger Goodell. The league said it will be sharing emails regarding Gruden to the Raiders.

That's not really fair. Tough to QB without best receiving option on the team.

Welp. Looks like I can kick back and get ready to not worry about my team making the playoffs.

Russell's going to ship out and we can blow it all up and start over.

Seahawks fans: "Our QB is hurt! This is so unfair!"

49ers fans:

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/urvslJn.gif)

Aren't 49ers fans happy that their QB is hurt? I'm so confused now.

ukickmydog wrote:

Aren't 49ers fans happy that their QB is hurt? I'm so confused now.

I mean we're not not happy...

I think they're more worried about the captain of the baseball team being hurt than the QB of the football team.

*Legion* wrote:

Seahawks fans: "Our QB is hurt! This is so unfair!"

49ers fans:

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/urvslJn.gif)

Hahaha.

It's weird because he's never missed a game so yeah, we've been incredibly lucky. But he's also wearing out his welcome in this town? The guy's ego is huge (stories of him fuming in Goodell's box watching Brady win again don't fly well around here) and people just don't trust him. Maybe it's the religion (around here, that Tebow stuff doesn't work). Maybe it's the weird celebrity thirst he has (see: everything ever with his personal life and spouse). Maybe it's that folks just don't like his constant striving for status wrapped in fake (?) humility?

Contrast him with Marshawn. Everybody loves Marshawn in large part because he is 100% authentic. Many would like to see Russ go.

I dunno. Maybe I'm just projecting? Hahaha.

Top_Shelf wrote:

Welp. Looks like I can kick back and get ready to not worry about my team making the playoffs.

Russell's going to ship out and we can blow it all up and start over.

IMAGE(https://dbdzm869oupei.cloudfront.net/img/sticker/preview/2238.png)

Top_Shelf wrote:

It's weird because he's never missed a game so yeah, we've been incredibly lucky. But he's also wearing out his welcome in this town? The guy's ego is huge (stories of him fuming in Goodell's box watching Brady win again don't fly well around here) and people just don't trust him. Maybe it's the religion (around here, that Tebow stuff doesn't work). Maybe it's the weird celebrity thirst he has (see: everything ever with his personal life and spouse). Maybe it's that folks just don't like his constant striving for status wrapped in fake (?) humility?

I dunno. Maybe I'm just projecting? Hahaha.

Probably not an inaccurate critique.

OTOH, Wilson brought y'all one ring (but should have been two). And who are you going to get to replace him? Geno Smith? A first-round pick after you go 4-13? (I don't recommend it; chronic losing sucks.) Some rando y'all pick in the third round? Sure, Wilson worked out, but you're more likely to end up with Kellen Mond or Davis Mills than a top 10 QB.

What I'm saying is that I think Seattle is stuck with Wilson and all his weird crap for a few more years.

(And all that said, once Pete Carroll leaves, then all bets are off. Dude just turned 70, so I can't imagine he's going to want to stick around for the decline-and-rebuild phase.)

Enix wrote:
Top_Shelf wrote:

It's weird because he's never missed a game so yeah, we've been incredibly lucky. But he's also wearing out his welcome in this town? The guy's ego is huge (stories of him fuming in Goodell's box watching Brady win again don't fly well around here) and people just don't trust him. Maybe it's the religion (around here, that Tebow stuff doesn't work). Maybe it's the weird celebrity thirst he has (see: everything ever with his personal life and spouse). Maybe it's that folks just don't like his constant striving for status wrapped in fake (?) humility?

I dunno. Maybe I'm just projecting? Hahaha.

Probably not an inaccurate critique.

OTOH, Wilson brought y'all one ring (but should have been two). And who are you going to get to replace him? Geno Smith? A first-round pick after you go 4-13? (I don't recommend it; chronic losing sucks.) Some rando y'all pick in the third round? Sure, Wilson worked out, but you're more likely to end up with Kellen Mond or Davis Mills than a top 10 QB.

What I'm saying is that I think Seattle is stuck with Wilson and all his weird crap for a few more years.

(And all that said, once Pete Carroll leaves, then all bets are off. Dude just turned 70, so I can't imagine he's going to want to stick around for the decline-and-rebuild phase.)

Yup. He may never endear himself to the city like other legends, but there's really no replacing him on the horizon.

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