[Discussion] Discrimination in real life

Discussion of instances oh racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, or any other form of discrimination you suffered, witnessed, or participated in, how it effected you, and how you reacted to it.

I was looking for a better place to post what happened to my family today, and I couldn’t find one.

NB. Stealing from my wife’s Facebook because she describes it better than I could. For context, my wife and I are white, and our son is black.

Mrs. Iso wrote:

Chauvin has been found guilty.

I’m relieved.

This country still has so much work to do.

Don’t believe me?

My 4 year old black son was profiled in the baby pool today at Great Wolf Lodge.

A lifeguard supervisor stopped in his tracks to yell at JT for splashing Adam. No one else was within 6 feet of them. They were under cones of water that dump water every minute.

I asked him to clarify why he had to stop splashing his DAD. He said that Adam looked bothered by the splashing.

He later admitted that he didn’t put the 2 of them together because they don’t look alike.

Let’s put this in perspective. The lifeguard supervisor was more concerned about a 4 year old splashing a white man than he was about a 4 year old alone in a pool.

I spoke to an acquatic manager. He confirmed my account. Questionable human attempted to “apologize” but really just made excuses. I stopped him to remind him that not all families look alike and that he needed to stop making excuses.

I went to the general manager. He has turned the matter over to HR.

This is in addition to issues we have had getting them to let JT go down the big slides, even when I have told the lifeguard at the bottom that I was there & showed them what JT looked like. He didn’t look like the Mama Bear at the bottom, so the guard at the top wouldn’t let him go down even though guard at the bottom was giving him a good to go sign (he doesn’t even need me - it’s just a rule because of his height). The general manager said they will implement new policies to match kids with their adults that is not based on what anyone looks like.

So yes. My relief is minimal. I still want to hide JT and never let him out of my sight.

I’m not looking for “I’m so sorry-ies.” I’m looking for “I promise to raise my humans better than this” and “I will examine my own biases in my everyday life and improve.”

Update:

After complaining to the aquatic manager, the manager on duty, and getting calls from the night manager and the general manager, we finally got an apology that didn’t involve a bunch of racist excuses, got a promise that the entire staff is doing implicit bias training, and my son got a gift bag with some cheap souvenirs.

My son loves this place and is too young to understand what happened, else I would never come here again.

The moral to the story: white people can raise hell about racism that no other group can.

Edit: I got splashed by two white kids I didn’t know in a regular pool. Life guards didn’t say sh*t. After a minute or two, the parents intervened.

That really sucks UpToIsomorphism. Which Great Wolf Lodge did you go to? The staff here in Washington State seem be pretty good about not hassling guests, almost to a fault. I saw one drunk and belligerent dad at the night pajama party get talked down instead of booted which is what he deserved.

Meanwhile, growing up in Kentucky I got hassled as the poor kid at an upscale pool and my Black friend was treated far worse. Granted that was the 80s but from what I’ve heard Louisville Ky hasn’t changed that much over the years.

At any rate, the fact my little paper white Ginger has never been hassled speaks volumes.

PS - Great Wolf is completely overrated.

Thanks JD. It was the one in Sandusky, OH. Though I think it could happen anywhere.

And the water slide thing happened again to me and my son today. Almost identically. I tell the lifeguard that I’m dad, he can swim, and I’ll be at the bottom. Top guard wouldn’t let him go down even though me and bottom guard said it was ok. Took about a minute to get the top guard to let him slide.

UpToIsomorphism wrote:

My son loves this place and is too young to understand what happened, else I would never come here again.

Quick question, and I sincerely hope it doesn't come from a place of privilege:
If the establishment has shown you that they agree that one employee was in the wrong rather than a company-wide cultural bias, and they're making amends; shouldn't you want to keep going back to this place? I mean, no one person (or place) is free of mistakes. If they're willing to improve, should we (all of us) want to reward that mentality?

If it were one person, sure. But the non-apologies we got from the aquatic manager and the manager on duty make me think that there are other issues.

I hope that implicit bias training the general manager talked about is 1) not a lie and 2) good. We will probably go back, but honestly this whole thing left a sour taste in my mouth.

Kind of reminds me of that incident where a white dude decide to remove black kids from a pool by pouring bleach or some kind of chemical into the pool.