It took 17 weeks but here we are: the playoffs! CAN YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT!?!!
OK, but they were tanking.
Yeah, but the Texans were baaaad this year.
Oh, look, a dance party next weekend in Minneapolis because, you know, the Vikings will be staying home.
The seeds for each team, with records and how they got there:
1. Chiefs (14-2) (AFC West; bye)
2. Bills (13-3) (AFC East)
3. Steelers (12-4) (AFC North)
4. Titans (11-5) (AFC South)
5. Ravens (11-5) (wild card)
6. Browns (11-5) (wild card)
7. Colts (11-5) (wild card)
1. Packers (13-3) (NFC North; bye)
2. Saints (12-4) (NFC South)
3. Seahawks (12-4) (NFC West)
4. Washington (7-9) (NFC East)
5. Buccaneers (11-5) (wild card)
6. Rams (10-6) (wild card)
7. Bears (8-8) (wild card)
Wild card round (Sat-Sun)
1:05 p.m. Saturday: Colts at Bills (CBS)
4:40 p.m. Saturday: Rams at Seahawks (Fox)
8:15 p.m. Saturday: Bucs at FOOTBALL TEAM (NBC)
1:05 p.m. Sunday: Ravens at Titans (ESPN)
4:40 p.m. Sunday: Bears at Saints (CBS)
8:15 p.m. Sunday: Browns at Steelers (NBC)
My viewing picks (in order of quality; I have no rooting interest): Ravens-Titans, Browns-Steelers, Colts-Bills and Rams-Seahawks; Bucs-WFT won't be great, and Bears-Saints will be unwatchable because of reasons although maybe the Bears .... nah, can't get my hopes up.
Divisional round (four games; Jan 16-17)
... Chiefs and Packers both have home games against lowest remaining seed; higher seeds host the two other games
Conference championships (two games, both on Jan 24)
Super Bowl Ell Vee: Feb. 7 in Tampa
No shockers here: 538 likes the top two seeds in each conference.
To make the Super Bowl: Chiefs (45 percent chance to make it), Packers (42 percent), Saints (34 percent), Bills (29 percent), Ravens and Bucs (10 percent each), Seahawks (9 percent). Everyone else is 6 percent or worse.
To win the Super Bowl: Chiefs (23 percent chance to win it), Packers (21 percent), Saints (19 percent), Bills (16 percent)
ESPN's Football Power Index (gotta have ESPN+ to read it, sorry) gives the Chiefs (51 percent) a slightly higher chance of making the Super Bowl and the Packers the same (42 percent).
Despite all that math, we all know that something really wacky will happen. Maybe we'll end up with a rematch of the 1950, 1951 and 1955 NFL championship games in which the Browns took two of three from the Rams. Or maybe the Colts will get revenge on their Super Bowl XLIV loss to the Saints. Or maybe the Bills will win their first after losing four straight in the 1990s.