NFL 2020: Week 6

I'm on vacation this week and have still not recovered from the notion that the Panthers won’t go 3-13 this season (though it’s possible they drop their next 11, I suppose). So I’m dispensing with the random crap that pops into my head and try something else this week:

Quarterback controversies! Of which there are multiples.

Chargers: Tyrod Taylor vs Justin Herbert. Tyrod is snakebit, but Herbert can chuck that ball. HERBERT

Bears: Mitch “Mitchell” Trubisky vs Nick Foles. I think Foles tanked in camp so he could come in as the backup and save the day. It has happened before, right? FOLES, duh.

Dolphins: Fitzmagic vs Tua. An irresistible force (Tua aka Dolphins QB of the future) vs an immovable object (Fitzpatrick). IMMOVABLE BEARDED OBJECT

Niners: Jimmy G vs Nick Mullens vs BEATHARD: They don’t even add up for a full QB. And that’s sad, because the 49ers were fun to watch last season and now they’re not. JIMMY MULLHARD

Falcons: Matt Ryan vs Matt Schaub. OK, so get this: It’s Falcons 3rd and 4 at the Carolina 5. 8 and change left in the game. Falcons trail by 7. TD would be great but a FG is OK (bc if you get a stop and score, you’re either ahead or just down 1). A pass to the end zone works. If someone’s open, fire it to them. If no one’s open, chuck it into the stands. An incompletion is a good play; a sack isn’t fatal. And Matt Ryan … throws it right to a Carolina DB. Carolina then burns 7+ minutes off the clock, kicks a FG, goes up 10, ballgame. BURN IT ALL DOWN AND START SCHAUB

Cowboys: Corpse of Dak Prescott vs Corpse of Andy Dalton’s career. Dalton looked really good at the end of Sunday’s game, to be honest. I think the Cowboys will be OK (on offense; that D is horribad). DALTON

Bengals: Joe Burrow won’t make it to Thanksgiving if he keeps getting sacked like he did Sunday. JOE BURROW’S BODY DOUBLE

Washington: Dwayne Haskins (unmotivated) vs Kyle Allen (injured) vs Alex Smith (still brittle). Uh, wow. Huh. Oh, wait, TE Logan Thomas played QB in college! THOMAS

Saints: Brees vs Hill vs Jameis. I don’t know what it says about a team that (a) sometimes benches a first-ballot HoF but noodle-armed QB for Gadget Man, who has thrown 15 NFL passes but (b) won’t play a QB who has thrown more than 2,500 pro passes, most but not all in the general direction of his teammates. The Saints make no sense to me. ALVIN KAMARA

Patriots: Covid Cam vs Brian Hoyer vs Jarrett Stidham. Any football pundit (air quotes) who suggested that there was a hint of a QB competition this summer should lose their blue Twitter checkmark and both thumbs. CAM

PS: Because we’re all Bridgewater Stans here, Teddy’s having a nice little season. Joe Brady is scheming guy wide open, which helps. But Teddy is making good reads and throwing to the right spot. I still miss Cam in Carolina, but Teddy is miles better than last year’s platoon.


Better than average, but last week's lineup looked pretty sorry and turned out to be epic so who knows?

Thursday night: No game! That stinks.

Sunday early: Usual local games; coverage maps are here. Steelers-Browns and Bears-Panthers are the two games featuring teams with winning records; DC-Giants, Falcons-Vikings and Lions-Jags are the Garbage Bowl games because these six teams have as many combined wins as the Bears.

Sunday late: Green Bay-Tampa Bay

Sunday night: Rams-Niners

Monday night: Chiefs-Bills at 5 (Fox, NFL, Amazon) and Cards-Boys at 8:15 (ESPN)

Edit: formatting

These coverage map links are very nice. Thanks for doing all this work for us!

Enix wrote:


I feel like you've discovered the title of Legion's most recent 49ers slashfic.

Also, just because it's entertaining, Derrick Henry:


Good stuff on the QBs. I think if answer them all the same, especially Kamara.

Enix wrote:

Thursday night: No game! That stinks.

Fox had Thursday night open... ?

Huh double MNF again

No TNF because the Bills played Tuesday,

"We suck, someone go catch Covid, shut us down and put us out of our misery."

Wait, Matt Schaub is still in the league?

Yeah, he went right back to Atlanta after Houston dumped him. Been there ever since.

garion333 wrote:


Huh. I thought the Chiefs had a new RB they liked.

Unrelated: Carolina's KK Short blew out his other arm (the one he didn't wreck last year) and will go on season-ending IR. Good thing the Panthers drafted 17 defensive players this year!

Sad day for somebody in this thread; the good news is there's another team that's been really injury-riddled and the backups haven't been impressive. Bortles would sure look good in red . . .

Ooh that Lamar TD pass.

It's a real shame I won't be in an office tomorrow surrounded by Vikings fans who want to rant about Kirk Cousins.

Fedaykin98 wrote:

Titans fans:


Brandon McManus got me 24 fantasy points. Six more points than his teams final total. Kickers are OP.

iaintgotnopants wrote:

Brandon McManus got me 24 fantasy points. Six more points than his teams final total. Kickers are OP.

Kickers should be nerfed by all being traded to Tampa, where they will immediately begin to suck.

A.A. Ron brought back the Hingle McKringleberry.

Texans can't play defense for half a second to win a damn game.

The two games on right now feature a pair of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game, and the other is Bucs-Packers.


Eventually due to the pandemic, we'll have only one late game and the point differential will be in the 30s.

There's still no good reason to have 12 games at 1 and 2 games at 4. I'll never understand.

Joe Flacco: 11/25, 71 yards.

Joe Flacco is Joe Flacco-ing as hard as Joe Flacco has ever Joe Flaccoed.

Fedaykin98 wrote: