NFL 2019: Week 1

Yeah, can't say I saw that coming.

Phrasing.

Images of the emails Brown sent to Britney Taylor are circulating on social media and, yeah, extreme content warning.

Edit: But of course OJ Simpson's on Twitter vouching for Brown's character.

*Legion* wrote:
garion333 wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

Gardner Minshew playing basketball with the local kids

You're falling in love with the mustache, aren't you?

I'll let one of the poets from Reddit sum it up:

"Chuckin bombs and f*ckin moms let’s go boys, AFC just got a new step daddy"

When he was chucking bombs at Wazzu, he was affectionately known as Uncle Rico.

Top_Shelf wrote:

When he was chucking bombs at Wazzu, he was affectionately known as Uncle Rico.

IMAGE(https://giant.gfycat.com/FickleAggravatingCarpenterant.gif)

Both Foles and Minshew completed 1 pass over 30 yards in week 1, tying Blake Bortles' total for the entirety of 2018.

Minshew stories are getting dug up left and right this week, and I don't even know what to do with information like this:

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/v3PiqnO.jpg)

*Legion* wrote:

I don't even know what to do with information like this

Clearly, you strip down to your jockstrap.

Here's some cold water for Legion:

Minshew's debut was fantastic, better in relief than most starters this week, but we must point out that his gaudy completion percentage was padded by a lot of dumpoffs. He had eight failed completions in three quarters and change; Ben Roethlisberger and Matt Ryan led the league with 10 failed completions each this week. Minshew completed all five of his third-down throws, but only two resulted in first downs.

Alex Smith 2.0.

So coming off the bench cold for his very first ever NFL action, 0 practice snaps taken all week, he's already Alex Smith. Wait until he actually gets to practice and prepare. This isn't even his final form.

I'm still waiting on Jimmy G's final form.

Btw, what was up with their O last week? Pettis must have really pissed off Shanny Jr. because he should be out there, but wasn't. Kittle told me not to worry!

Too soon to bring in Mullens?

garion333 wrote:

I'm still waiting on Jimmy G's final form.

He's gotta stay healthy and play. He's still played less than a season of NFL games. This year is definitely critical for him, he's got to get experience in a hurry.

Btw, what was up with their O last week? Pettis must have really pissed off Shanny Jr. because he should be out there, but wasn't. Kittle told me not to worry!

Garoppolo was rusty, but better as the game went. Pettis was slowed by a groin injury during the week of practice - even though he was back to full participation by the end of the week. I think his snap counts will soon recover.

OK, I'll be on Team Minshew for a week or so. My favorite part of his story is that he wasn't really good enough to start at ECU, which hasn't won more than three games a season since 2015. In 2017, before he noped on out of Greenville, he split time with a dude who transferred from Duke. Duke!

Anyhoo, the Browns are going to keep Browns-ing.

The Browns banned a guy from their stadium for pouring a beer on a Titans player Sunday. Turns out the guy they banned ...

Spoiler:

... wasn't actually there! He says he hasn't been to a Browns game since 2010. Deadspin of course has more.

"@drewmagary wrote:

Gardner Minshew sounds like Scottish Twitter saying gonna miss you

*Legion* wrote:
Top_Shelf wrote:

When he was chucking bombs at Wazzu, he was affectionately known as Uncle Rico.

IMAGE(https://giant.gfycat.com/FickleAggravatingCarpenterant.gif)

Both Foles and Minshew completed 1 pass over 30 yards in week 1, tying Blake Bortles' total for the entirety of 2018.

Man, that's what I love about rookie WRs; I keep getting older, but they stay the same age.

Gardner's full name is Gardner Flint Minshew II, but neither his father nor his grandfather are Gardner Flint Minshew I. It's not clear if there even *is* a Gardner Flint Minshew the first.

This guy feels like an April Fool's joke, or on of those fake prospects that get made up to make wannabe draft websites look stupid when they fall for it.

Clearly we need to call in Maury on this.

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/T7sJRr2.png)

God I hope he can keep playing well, because he's the only thing right now standing between the Jaguars 2019 season and complete despondence.

Hunter Henry fractured his tibia. Likely out a month.

I'm sensing a trend.

He's a Coug so I'm legally bound to dislike him but I just can't hate Minshew.

Headband + shades + jock = McMahon 2.0 (self-deferential version).

garion333 wrote:

Hunter Henry fractured his tibia. Likely out a month.

I'm sensing a trend.

Yes, the trend is "TEs on *Legion*'s dynasty roster shall break down more than a 1980s Fiat."

Tyler Eifert. Hunter Henry. Hayden Hurst. I keep trying to draft pass catching tight ends and they all just break bones left and right.

garion333 wrote:

Hunter Henry fractured his tibia. Likely out a month.

I'm sensing a trend.

Rub some dirt on that. Aaron Rodgers played the while season on a tibial plateau fracture last year.

Actually, I can’t imagine being back in a month with any kind of tibia fracture at tight end.

Docjoe wrote:
garion333 wrote:

Hunter Henry fractured his tibia. Likely out a month.

I'm sensing a trend.

Rub some dirt on that. Aaron Rodgers played the while season on a tibial plateau fracture last year.

Actually, I can’t imagine being back in a month with any kind of tibia fracture at tight end.

WTF kind of doctor are you?!?

Rodgers also had a down season where he had to stay in the pocket a ton because of limited mobility.

Don't think TEs have that luxury.

Quote below is about Minny:

Not that they're terrible or anything, but this week's game plan screams "random outlier" rather than something that makes me suddenly vault them clearly to the top of the division.

They threw the ball ten times (well, 11, but one was called back by penalty.) That's the third time that's happened this decade, and it doesn't happen because a team is confident in their passing game. The Bears did it with a rookie Mitchell Trubisky in 2017; the Broncos did it during the Tim Tebow experiment back in 2011.

Yup, that's right, Minny is one of three teams who have throw the ball ten time or less in the past decade. The other times were Trubisky and Tebow.

Welcome to the group, Cousins.

I hope they feel it was worth it to pay Cousins $156,000 per pass in that game.

Those are more passes than Sam Darnold will be attempting any time soon, for he is out with mono.

This is the most Browns thing ever.

Browns appear to have banned wrong fan

Rat Boy wrote:

Those are more passes than Sam Darnold will be attempting any time soon, for he is out with mono.

I had mono a couple years ago. It sucks. Big time. I had to get up, go to work and take care of a baby, so I'm not sure if my experience will be the same as Darnold's, but the best cure is to rest. It took about six months before I felt 100%. And it's weird in that some days you're perfectly fine, then other days you're back feeling off.

garion333 wrote:

Quote below is about Minny:

Not that they're terrible or anything, but this week's game plan screams "random outlier" rather than something that makes me suddenly vault them clearly to the top of the division.

They threw the ball ten times (well, 11, but one was called back by penalty.) That's the third time that's happened this decade, and it doesn't happen because a team is confident in their passing game. The Bears did it with a rookie Mitchell Trubisky in 2017; the Broncos did it during the Tim Tebow experiment back in 2011.

Yup, that's right, Minny is one of three teams who have throw the ball ten time or less in the past decade. The other times were Trubisky and Tebow.

Welcome to the group, Cousins.

I'm pretty sure they could have Drew Brees at quarterback and Mike Zimmer would still want to throw the ball only 10 times a game.