My Old-A** Body Is Breaking Down Catch-All

I have about 40 pounds that need to go away.

We recently bought our first house, and my first purchase was a power cage and an Olympic bar & plates set. Working my way through the StrongLifts 5x5 program.

I had gotten a cheap gym membership to start lifting, but anytime I would go, people would be camped out on the cages and benches all night. Not spending 2.5 hours a night trying to do 45 minutes of lifting, screw that. Counted the days until I owned a house and could start building my garage gym.

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/IkG1d1z.jpg)

That’s one of my dreams Legion. We’re hoping to finally buy a house in the next year and that setup is exactly what I want too. Good luck with StrongLifts!

Thanks. My wife got interested enough to start doing StrongLifts with me. The 45lb Olympic bar was too much for her to start with, so I found someone on Craigslist unloading a 15lb 1" standard bar and plate set pretty cheap, and adjusted the starting weights in her app to match.

An update:

I’m doing well—moving around, managing the pain, etc. I have this cool device that the Spotts Med docs prescribed to me: it circulated 40 degree Fahrenheit water around my knee. Think a combination of an ice pack and a sous vide machine. I’ll post pictures later.

My cat has been stuck to me since coming home. When I get up in the middle of the night to take my meds, she lays on me to make sure I go back to sleep.

And my kid still runs around saying “Daddy broken,” but has been very sweet and gentle by the standards of a two year old boy.

Finally, my wife and mother-in-law have been amazing picking up the slack for me and caring for my broke ass, but don’t tell them that.

That's a good cat.

She is. Right now I’m up because I needed to pee, and I can’t go back to sleep because of the pain (meds due in an hour as of this post). She is right between my wife and I cleaning my hair.

UpToIsomorphism wrote:

And my kid still runs around saying “Daddy broken,” but has been very sweet and gentle by the standards of a two year old boy.

Soon you'll recover, and he'll go back to only saying that on fall Sundays.

Let's see, I'm 47 and I'll add my hearing is going. I miss things people say right to my face now. A lifetime of Heavy Metal fandom is catching up to me. Add to it Tinnitus.

I was in an auto accident last November that messed up my foot. Not a serious problem, a soft tissue thing, but the tendinitis that followed was a Female Doggo. I wasn't able to walk much for 2 months (wore a walking boot) and then about 3 months of limited mobility. I need shoe inserts now. Oh yeah, I gained some weight. I was always able to lose weight by eating a salad for lunch and not snacking in the afternoon. Not now. I have been working out a couple of time a week and watching what I eat for three months. Not. Lost. One. Pound. Haven't been cheating honest!

So I’m noticing a pattern: I get up about an hour before my pain meds are due. When I do that, I often need to pee (being dehydrated would be bad the docs tell me). Which means I need to get out of bed, make it to the potty, sit on the potty (because I can’t pee standing up according to the nurses—too risky) get up from the potty, and make it back to my bed. All these things are painful, but hurt worse because the pain meds have worn off.

But the worst thing is getting back into bed, which is impossible to do myself. So I have to wake my wife up, have her go over to the other side of the bed, and lift my bum leg into bed. Which means she gets up at least every four hours, if not more (I have a ton of alarms set to take blood thinners, Tylenol, etc at night and those things never line up).

My wife is a saint, and although I would not recommend tearing your quad, if you do make sure your spouse/partner/caregiver is as awesome as my wife.

P.S.: You can’t have her. She’s mine and I need her.

UpToIsomorphism wrote:

So I’m noticing a pattern: I get up about an hour before my pain meds are due. When I do that, I often need to pee (being dehydrated would be bad the docs tell me). Which means I need to get out of bed, make it to the potty, sit on the potty (because I can’t pee standing up according to the nurses—too risky) get up from the potty, and make it back to my bed. All these things are painful, but hurt worse because the pain meds have worn off.

But the worst thing is getting back into bed, which is impossible to do myself. So I have to wake my wife up, have her go over to the other side of the bed, and lift my bum leg into bed. Which means she gets up at least every four hours, if not more (I have a ton of alarms set to take blood thinners, Tylenol, etc at night and those things never line up).

My wife is a saint, and although I would not recommend tearing your quad, if you do make sure your spouse/partner/caregiver is as awesome as my wife.

P.S.: You can’t have her. She’s mine and I need her.

Ouch, that is a PITA, I'm glad your wife is able (and willing) to help, that can make a huge difference in recovery, as I'm sure you know. Sending positive vibes your way, and may your recovery be quick and uneventful.

UpToIsomorphism wrote:

I’m doing well—moving around, managing the pain, etc. I have this cool device that the Spotts Med docs prescribed to me: it circulated 40 degree Fahrenheit water around my knee. Think a combination of an ice pack and a sous vide machine. I’ll post pictures later.

For each of my shoulder surgeries, they gave me a fancy cuff that wrapped around my shoulder. It had a tube to connect it to a small beer cooler with a pump inside, which kept icy cold water flowing into the cuff. That helped so much.

Hrdina wrote:
UpToIsomorphism wrote:

I’m doing well—moving around, managing the pain, etc. I have this cool device that the Spotts Med docs prescribed to me: it circulated 40 degree Fahrenheit water around my knee. Think a combination of an ice pack and a sous vide machine. I’ll post pictures later.

For each of my shoulder surgeries, they gave me a fancy cuff that wrapped around my shoulder. It had a tube to connect it to a small beer cooler with a pump inside, which kept icy cold water flowing into the cuff. That helped so much.

The Cryo Cuff! That thing saved my life. When I had ankle surgery back in 2007 I had major swelling issues and all sorts of pain; with the shoulder, I was told I could have it on for a half an hour, then take an hour off. For the first few weeks I was in recovery, I wore that thing probably 10 times a day, and my swelling was basically nonexistent. I lived in it. If I made a list of my Most Favorite Things Ever, that thing would be on it. Absolutely a necessity.

Stele wrote:

That's a good cat.

She is the best. My wife cousin found her as a kitten in a bar he was playing at the weekend of our wedding. I spent most of my honeymoon convincing my wife we should keep her. The kicker: we were at WDW and I told her she could name her after her favorite Disney princess. That’s how we got Belle.

I’ll throw a picture in when I’m on a real computer.

*Legion* wrote:

Soon you'll recover, and he'll go back to only saying that on fall Sundays.

I’m looking forward to the Browns winning about one game a month and our new coach and GMdrafting the QB of the future, again.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
Hrdina wrote:

For each of my shoulder surgeries, they gave me a fancy cuff that wrapped around my shoulder. It had a tube to connect it to a small beer cooler with a pump inside, which kept icy cold water flowing into the cuff. That helped so much.

The Cryo Cuff! That thing saved my life. When I had ankle surgery back in 2007 I had major swelling issues and all sorts of pain; with the shoulder, I was told I could have it on for a half an hour, then take an hour off. For the first few weeks I was in recovery, I wore that thing probably 10 times a day, and my swelling was basically nonexistent. I lived in it. If I made a list of my Most Favorite Things Ever, that thing would be on it. Absolutely a necessity.

Yep! This is the best thing in the world! I only wish I could keep it and I wasn’t just renting from insurance.

Today’s adventure: I get to take the wrap off and shower!!!

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

with the shoulder, I was told I could have it on for a half an hour, then take an hour off. For the first few weeks I was in recovery, I wore that thing probably 10 times a day, and my swelling was basically nonexistent. I lived in it. If I made a list of my Most Favorite Things Ever, that thing would be on it. Absolutely a necessity.

I can tell you for a fact that I kept that thing on much longer than I was supposed to, especially for the first couple of days. My memory is a little foggy from that time, though.

UpToIsomorphism wrote:

But the worst thing is getting back into bed, which is impossible to do myself. So I have to wake my wife up, have her go over to the other side of the bed, and lift my bum leg into bed. Which means she gets up at least every four hours, if not more (I have a ton of alarms set to take blood thinners, Tylenol, etc at night and those things never line up).

For the first several days after my surgery, I didn't want to get into and out of bed, so I slept in a recliner in the middle of my living room. Getting up still hurt, but at least I had some mechanical assistance.

UpToIsomorphism wrote:

Today’s adventure: I get to take the wrap off and shower!!!

I had knee surgery back in HS (32+ years ago now). They told me not to take off the wrap for a couple of weeks. It was quite an experience when I finally did.

Doc said to take the wrap off and shower today (48 hours after surgery). Guess my doc is better than yours! :)~

(1) Arthritis starting to manifest. Weak wrists, weak ankles.

(2) I have so many fibroids in and about my uterus that my ovaries kicked it, stopping them from producing hormones like they should. Bled so heavily I had e-room visits. Not great. I'm on medication that is supposed to reduce the fibroids.

The meds give me: hot flashes! Vertigo! Nausea! And more! Thank goodness for ...other medicinals.

(3) Have dysphoria, trans feelings, disassociation for many, many years. These things above go unchecked when you're actively ignoring your body! The last year of item (2) has been a nightmare rollercoster and I'm ready to get off.

(4) Been fat a long time, too! See hormone imbalances, disassociation above.

Due to facing (4), (3), and (1), I got a KETTLEBELL. I love this heavy little gunmetal looking Female Doggo. I'm hoping getting healthy and swole will help me feel more at home in my body, healthier, and stronger in hopes for reducing chances of injury as I age. And also get these tiddies under control. It's one way to reduce 'em.

Due to (2) and (3), I think I'm going to hit two birds with one stone and seek a hysterectomy. I'm at a place where being vaguely somewhere in the middle extremely appealing. And also just...NO MORE, NO THANK YOU.

But like...my knee. Stairs giving me trouble. Do the neoprene knee things at the pharmacy actually work? Thanks in advance for your sage advice.

IMAGE(https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/37231673_10156758982294208_7975254811220115456_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=76b405cfe46363416c87b6ac4dbfbfe6&oe=5BE568B8)

Amoebic wrote:

But like...my knee. Stairs giving me trouble. Do the neoprene knee things at the pharmacy actually work? Thanks in advance for your sage advice.

The knee brace gives you a little bit more support in the joint. It doesn't do anything other than keep things where they are suppose to be, like a little hug for your knee. Sometimes that is all people need. A little bit of conditioning of the muscle groups around your knee would do the same thing. Gives it that extra support.

I’m just going to post this thing from my wife here about yesterday:

Ms. Iso wrote:

Today’s update:
Most of the day went well. My mom and I took JT out for a bit this morning and let Adam have some peace and quiet. JT napped, we relaxed, my mom ran a few errands. And when she got back, we decided to take Adam’s bandages off and try a shower. Well....that didn’t go so well. He saw the staples in his knee and passed out. So, WFD carted him to the ER for the second time in 2 weeks. He’s fine. They gave him some fancy diagnosis for being grossed out by blood/staples and sent him home.

While 5 firefighters/EMTs/paramedics were standing in my bedroom trying to figure out what was going on with Adam, my mom hands me JT and a thermometer and says I think he has a fever and he sure did have a low grade fever. Ibuprofen for the win. And poor little guy was so upset when Adam got carted out the door and then I left.

Speaking of home, my mom flies home tomorrow morning first thing. Fingers crossed for a smooth trip through O’Hare.

Also fingers crossed that sh*t calms down soon.

What my wife doesn’t say is that she heroically pinned me to the shower so I wouldn’t collapse on my knee.

And I see the Ortho again at 2:30 today to confirm my wife is a hero and didn’t cause me to mess up the Ortho’s hard work.

cls33 wrote:

I have a IT band injury

Ugh. Just ugh. I've spent most of this year trying to figure what in the world was wrong with my legs/hips and finally realized about 6 weeks ago I had IT Band Syndrome in both freaking legs...and a mild case of bursitis in my right hip. The unreal pain I was feeling from any sort of squatting more or less faded away when I started stretching/strengthening my IT bands. But man, that was awful. Even walking up/down a flight of stairs hurt.

Other than that, I'll be 37 in a few weeks but look and feel better than I did 10 years ago. A 6 day/week workout plan I truly enjoy and a diet that suits my needs are absolutely the keys to keeping my sh!t together.

Edit: almost forgot...my nose hairs are coming in stark white and I seem to be sprouting on my earlobes. Weird.

Amoebic wrote:

But like...my knee. Stairs giving me trouble. Do the neoprene knee things at the pharmacy actually work? Thanks in advance for your sage advice.

They work for some things, yes.

But they're best as a short-term acute intervention for healing/rehab. They're sweaty to wear (a disaster in this weather), and will chafe.

I have worn cartilege in one knee, which means that occasionally, I'll be walking along minding my own business, when my knee goes OWWWW, then it'll be sore and tender for a few days. I wear a knee support for those few days to hold everything together while it's healing, then I'm happy to see the back of it again.

I showered! And I didn’t fall or pass out!!!

(>'-')> <('-'<) ^(' - ')^ <('-'<) (>'-')>

Edit: Also, my knee is fine after passing out!

UpToIsomorphism wrote:

I showered! And I didn’t fall or pass out!!!

(>'-')> <('-'<) ^(' - ')^ <('-'<) (>'-')>

Edit: Also, my knee is fine after passing out!

Excellent news on both counts!!

UpToIsomorphism wrote:

I showered!

This reminds me of a little kid proclaiming "I went to the potty all by myself!" and I love it.

So last weekend I sprained my ankle walking up the stairs to bed, then the next day I chipped a tooth eating a danish....

*Legion* wrote:
UpToIsomorphism wrote:

I showered!

This reminds me of a little kid proclaiming "I went to the potty all by myself!" and I love it.

That’s what it felt like.

Infyrnos wrote:

So last weekend I sprained my ankle walking up the stairs to bed, then the next day I chipped a tooth eating a danish....

Turns out a tooth wasn't the only thing I chipped, that sprained ankle actually had a chipped bone in my foot as I found out after spending the day at the hospital getting xrays and waiting for someone to look at them. Aircast on for the next 6 weeks and get to see an ortho surgeon next month to see if surgery is needed...

I broke my foot walking up stairs to bed, I guess I no longer get to have 'cool' injuries.

I’ve been stuck in my house for almost a week, and I’m starting to get a little stir crazy. Any ideas?

More off the wall, the better!

1) Cover the wall in duct tape and see if you can, starting at the floor, roll up to the ceiling
2) Play "The Floor is Lava" for an unreasonably long time
3) Instead of killing the random bug or spider that you may find looking around aimlessly, see how long you can get him/her to stick around.
4) Tape an episode of Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune. Watch it back until you can answer everything instantly. This will make you feel amazingly bad-a$$
5) Stack your dining room chairs on top of each other and balance on the top like a street performer