NFL 2017 Week 16 Thread

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This was the week of reckoning for the NFL Network, where on-air personalities like Heath Evans, Marshall Faulk, and Ike Taylor were suspended after a series of allegations were made about patently disgusting forms of sexual harassment, and the head of the network resigned this week as well.. The suit also mentions past actions by former NFLN Warren Sapp, who basically started peeing when the woman was in the room working, and, while that’s gross, this might be the first time¬ there have been allegations regarding disgusting behavior with women involving Warren Sapp where he isn’t the most repugnant person in the story.

Similarly, Deadspin did another one of its “No, really, we do real journalism, not just fart jokes” stories with a long article by current Deadspin writer and former NFLN employee Diana Moskowitz, which is worth a read. It illustrates a lot of the issues seen in places like SB Nation and other low-paid “gig economy” jobs in writing and online content production, along with loads of sexism.

Speaking of “disgusting’ and “loads of sexism”, Panthers owner Jerry Richardson “chose” to give up control of the team and will sell in the offseason after reports of racist comments and creepy, harassing, and gross behavior based on either commenting on women’s appearance or doing such “helpful” activities as reaching across their bodies to snap seatbelts and other slimy things. The Panthers, of course, are an organization so committed to morality they insisted their MVP QB wear a tie and act properly, so, as long as the black guy is dressed properly, it’s OK for old guys to more or less sexually assault employees. May Jerry Richardson’s statue sit next to Joe Paterno’s, preferably at the bottom of a port-a-potty several days into Sturgis.

For Christmas this year, I’m having a big box full of “why am I still invested in this sport”.

Other Things

When the ball is fumbled through the end zone, it winds up being a loss of possession and a touchback for the defense. “Some” people feel this is inconsistent with the rest of the rules, but I disagree; when a live ball is downed in some way in the end zone, whether it be by TD or turnover, the ball changes possession. In my mind, the ball going out of bounds in the end zone is consistent with that, and I’m fine with it. Yes, it’s a much more significant event to fumble through the end zone, but, you know what? It’s a much more significant event to get that one yard between the one yard line and end zone than it is to get any other yard. END ZONES ARE MAGICAL PLACES.

I also actually am fine with the catch rule. “Get two feet down” is going to lead to those situations where a player catches and gets hammered and loses the ball, and “football move” is just vague enough it puts the fate of the game even more into the interpretive hands of the Jeff Triplette’s of the world.

And now GG is going to assume I’m on the Patriots payroll ALONG WITH ALL THE REST OF THEM THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE.

Speaking of the catch rule, there was a Deadspin article on Bert Emanuel, whose Twitter handle is actualy @TheBertEmanuelRule.

Aaron Rodgers has been placed on IR after his one-game comeback against the Panthers resulted in a loss and playoff elimination. Also, I’ve always liked Cam Newton, and his little “Been watching film, huh?” banter with Clay Matthews make me like him even more. He still plays for Carolina, so I do think I’m compelled to hope he gets syphilis or something.

Blake Bortles was ranked as the best QB by DYAR in Football Outsiders’ Quick Reads this week. Recently-benched Eli was second. Brock Osweiler? 7th, five spots ahead of Tom Brady.

The Games:
MAKE YOUR WEEKLY GAME PICKS HERE

Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints: Is it still too soon after Katrina to wish for a hurricane? Asking for a friend.

Cleveland Browns at Chicago Bears: This is it; the final shot. Let’s face it, there is zero chance the Browns are going to be able to beat the Steelers in the last week of the season; the Steelers could start Dan Rooney at QB and still win this game. If the Browns are going to avoid joining the Lions as the only 0-16 team, it happens now, against a banged-up Bears team whose rookie QB could conceivably have trouble against an occasionally not-horrible Browns defense. I’ll admit it; I actually want the Browns to go 0-16 just so their organizational incompetence can be remembered forever, but they’ve been vaguely spunky in recent weeks, and I THINK YOU CAN DO IT GUYS.

Denver Broncos at Washington Football Team: Two games left for Kirk Cousins in a Washington Football Team uniform, and, let’s face it, there’s a non-zero chance he’s going to be wearing a Broncos uniform next year. It actually kind of sucks for Cousins; his numbers are down this year due to his top two WRs moving on plus other issues, and the combination of a strong QB class plus certain other QBs unexpectedly playing well could potentially reduce the job market for him. Speaking of which . . .

Jacksonville Jaguars at San Francisco 49ers: I GIVE YOU THE LEGION BOWL. Jimmy G vs. that good defense, and Blake Bortles? His numbers are GREAT the last few weeks. I want certain people here to know I in no way am looking back to the days when Josh Freeman imploded harder than the forgettable bad guy at the end of Ant-Man and how said certain people seemed to get endless glee out of that, and am thereby hoping Blork plays just well enough to get a contract extension long enough to drag the Jaguars back down to the Eternal Top Five Draft Pick Pit of Hell they’ve been in for years. Because that would be wrong.

Seattle Seahawks at Dallas Cowboys: Ezekiel Elliott is back, which means people can start pretending Dak Prescott is actually a good QB again.

Week 15 Results
EvilDead: 5-0
oldmanscene24: 5-0
Oddsmakers: 5-0
karmajay: 4-1
PorkSmoothie89: 4-1
tboon: 4-1
LeapingGnome: 4-1
MilkmanDanimal: 4-1
Vector: 3-2
iaintgotnopants: 3-2
*Legion*: 3-2
sr_malo: 3-2
Torq: 3-2
ballnchained: 2-3
Rat Boy: 2-3
Abu5217: 2-3
Infyrnos: 2-3
TheGameGuru: 2-3
Zaque: 2-3
Jayhawker: 2-3
cube: 1-4

Season to Date
*Legion*: 49-26
Oddsmakers: 49-26
PorkSmoothie89: 46-29
ballnchained: 45-25
oldmanscene24: 45-30
MilkmanDanimal: 45-30
tboon: 44-26
TheGameGuru: 44-31
Vector: 43-32
Infyrnos: 43-32
iaintgotnopants: 43-32
Rat Boy: 41-34
EvilDead: 41-29
karmajay: 40-35
cube: 38-32
LeapingGnome: 37-38
garion333: 36-24
Jayhawker: 36-34
Torq: 35-30
Zaque: 34-41
Abu5217: 32-38
kaostheory: 31-24
sr_malo: 30-30
UpToIsomorphism: 27-23
Kush15: 15-20
Jowner: 5-5
Minase: 4-1
Nomad: 4-1

Picking between Seattle and Dallas probably made me want to vomit as much as Legion does trying to pick between Jacksonville and the Niners.

END ZONES ARE MAGICAL PLACES

This will be my quote of the year for 2018.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Similarly, Deadspin did another one of its “No, really, we do real journalism, not just fart jokes” stories with a long article by current Deadspin writer and former NFLN employee Diana Moskowitz, which is worth a read. It illustrates a lot of the issues seen in places like SB Nation and other low-paid “gig economy” jobs in writing and online content production, along with loads of sexism.

I really hate the world we live in sometimes.

Never before in my life had I expected to watch a football game on Christmas day, but here we are. Gonna be watching football on Christmas day.

The John Fox Bears have never won a game they were favored to win, and not just because they were never favored.

The Browns are the Browns.

I am super torn. I feel like the Bears need to lose and wipe the slate clean, but I don't trust them to not hire Jeff Fisher as High Lord of Football or some such.

kaostheory wrote:

The John Fox Bears have never won a game they were favored to win, and not just because they were never favored.

The Browns are the Browns.

I am super torn. I feel like the Bears need to lose and wipe the slate clean, but I don't trust them to not hire Jeff Fisher as High Lord of Football or some such.

I know, right? The Browns should lose because they're the Browns, but the Bears should lose because even Jeff Fisher thinks John Fox looks disinterested at this point. It's a fascinating matchup for all the wrong reasons.

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/aCTnsaN.jpg)

That's the Blaine we know and love! He's basically erased the positive stuff he did earlier this season and is set to make his all time low DYAR record even lower. Love it!

ccesarano wrote:

Never before in my life had I expected to watch a football game on Christmas day, but here we are. Gonna be watching football on Christmas day.

I love holiday sports. It gives me a breather from the super long extended family time

EvilDead wrote:
ccesarano wrote:

Never before in my life had I expected to watch a football game on Christmas day, but here we are. Gonna be watching football on Christmas day.

I love holiday sports. It gives me a breather from the super long extended family time :D

Don't forget that we also get Saturday football. Two games! There's ...

... checks schedule ...

... eh, make that one. MIN-GB should be OK because it will be cold in Green Bay. The early game should forbid the QBs from throwing the ball. WING-T FOR EVERYONE MERRY CHRISTMAS

ccesarano wrote:

Never before in my life had I expected to watch a football game on Christmas day, but here we are. Gonna be watching football on Christmas day.

How old are you? Even if you only watch the Eagles, they played on Christmas in 2006.

NFL Christmas Games
IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/vYgc5kO.png)

kaostheory wrote:

The John Fox Bears have never won a game they were favored to win, and not just because they were never favored.

Is this true? If so, that's amazing.

Jayhawker wrote:
ccesarano wrote:

Never before in my life had I expected to watch a football game on Christmas day, but here we are. Gonna be watching football on Christmas day.

How old are you? Even if you only watch the Eagles, they played on Christmas in 2006.

NFL Christmas Games
IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/vYgc5kO.png)

Last years Baltimore Pittsburgh game on Christmas was amazing..

Jayhawker wrote:

How old are you? Even if you only watch the Eagles, they played on Christmas in 2006. ;-)

I thought football was boring in 2006! No one explained the most obvious basics to me so I didn't find it interesting! I thought it was slow and dull!

Enix wrote:
EvilDead wrote:
ccesarano wrote:

Never before in my life had I expected to watch a football game on Christmas day, but here we are. Gonna be watching football on Christmas day.

I love holiday sports. It gives me a breather from the super long extended family time :D

Don't forget that we also get Saturday football. Two games! There's ...

... checks schedule ...

... eh, make that one. MIN-GB should be OK because it will be cold in Green Bay. The early game should forbid the QBs from throwing the ball. WING-T FOR EVERYONE MERRY CHRISTMAS

...checks Saturday schedule...

no family - check
new copy of PUBG - check

Yeah, that might be a skipper.

garion333 wrote:

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/aCTnsaN.jpg)

That's the Blaine we know and love! He's basically erased the positive stuff he did earlier this season and is set to make his all time low DYAR record even lower. Love it!

I forgot to mention that not only was Bortles #1, Gabbert was dead last. A lovely bit of symmetry.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Blake Bortles was ranked as the best QB by DYAR in Football Outsiders’ Quick Reads this week. Recently-benched Eli was second. Brock Osweiler? 7th, five spots ahead of Tom Brady.

How was Jimmy Garoppolo only 9th in DYAR? There is no "R" for Garoppolo!

Jacksonville Jaguars at San Francisco 49ers: I GIVE YOU THE LEGION BOWL.

I hate this game. There is nothing good that can happen here.

I want certain people here to know I in no way am looking back to the days when Josh Freeman imploded harder than the forgettable bad guy at the end of Ant-Man and how said certain people seemed to get endless glee out of that, and am thereby hoping Blork plays just well enough to get a contract extension long enough to drag the Jaguars back down to the Eternal Top Five Draft Pick Pit of Hell they’ve been in for years. Because that would be wrong.

It's OK if Bortles is Freeman because that means his career is over in another year and won't be a problem anymore.

*Legion* wrote:

I'm sure Jags fans have some amazing retorts ready for these games, they have been holding on to them for a long long long time!

The NFL Network's week of reckoning continues with Michael Irvin accused of impropriety. I might as well just listen to the Rich Eisen podcast on Sunday mornings. Or yell at BBC America to bring back their Tom Baker Doctor Who marathons.

I’m shocked, shocked I tell you, that Michael Irvin has a history impropriety with women.

I'm picking the Browns to win. Not because I think they will, but because I want them to.

*Legion* wrote:

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Blake Bortles was ranked as the best QB by DYAR in Football Outsiders’ Quick Reads this week. Recently-benched Eli was second. Brock Osweiler? 7th, five spots ahead of Tom Brady.

How was Jimmy Garoppolo only 9th in DYAR? There is no "R" for Garoppolo!

Jacksonville Jaguars at San Francisco 49ers: I GIVE YOU THE LEGION BOWL.

I hate this game. There is nothing good that can happen here.

I want certain people here to know I in no way am looking back to the days when Josh Freeman imploded harder than the forgettable bad guy at the end of Ant-Man and how said certain people seemed to get endless glee out of that, and am thereby hoping Blork plays just well enough to get a contract extension long enough to drag the Jaguars back down to the Eternal Top Five Draft Pick Pit of Hell they’ve been in for years. Because that would be wrong.

It's OK if Bortles is Freeman because that means his career is over in another year and won't be a problem anymore.

I loved that video. That's what being on the sideline with Bill Belichick and Tom Brady instills in you. I feel like Aaron Rodgers had a similar experience getting to be on the sidelines with McCarthy and Favre. And that no QB in Cleveland could possibly ever witness.

kaostheory wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Blake Bortles was ranked as the best QB by DYAR in Football Outsiders’ Quick Reads this week. Recently-benched Eli was second. Brock Osweiler? 7th, five spots ahead of Tom Brady.

How was Jimmy Garoppolo only 9th in DYAR? There is no "R" for Garoppolo!

Jacksonville Jaguars at San Francisco 49ers: I GIVE YOU THE LEGION BOWL.

I hate this game. There is nothing good that can happen here.

I want certain people here to know I in no way am looking back to the days when Josh Freeman imploded harder than the forgettable bad guy at the end of Ant-Man and how said certain people seemed to get endless glee out of that, and am thereby hoping Blork plays just well enough to get a contract extension long enough to drag the Jaguars back down to the Eternal Top Five Draft Pick Pit of Hell they’ve been in for years. Because that would be wrong.

It's OK if Bortles is Freeman because that means his career is over in another year and won't be a problem anymore.

I loved that video. That's what being on the sideline with Bill Belichick and Tom Brady instills in you. I feel like Aaron Rodgers had a similar experience getting to be on the sidelines with McCarthy and Favre. And that no QB in Cleveland could possibly ever witness.

As a New England Patriots fan, that video brought a tear to my eye. What could have been.

kaostheory wrote:

I loved that video. That's what being on the sideline with Bill Belichick and Tom Brady instills in you. I feel like Aaron Rodgers had a similar experience getting to be on the sidelines with McCarthy and Favre. And that no QB in Cleveland could possibly ever witness.

Or going back a little further, Steve Young watching from the bench during peak Montana/Walsh.

Or even Mark Brunell with Favre and Holmgren.

I've always said that veteran players "teaching" young players is overrated (coaching is for coaches), but I do think the QB position is unique, and that there's a lot to learn from watching a master QB prepare week in and week out.

sr_malo wrote:

As a New England Patriots fan, that video brought a tear to my eye. What could have been.

Watching videos today, a popular question among the pundits has been, "did New England make the wrong decision?".

And I think the answer is "no", because they made the only decision they could. They waited as long as possible, and frankly were giving Tom Brady every opportunity to stumble (or be injured, like Joe Montana) and give them cause to make a move. He didn't, so there's just no way they could have made the move. Because even if they did, it would have created an environment of impossible expectations for Jimmy. Being one of the best QBs in the league would barely count as an achievement, it would simply be holding par with what they already had. Anything less would be disaster. The cost of that move was too high.

For San Francisco, making that move was cheap. They had nothing to lose besides a 2nd round pick and an already lost season. If it went bad, they could swallow the draft pick loss and spend their 1st round pick (which would have probably been the #2 pick) on whatever QB they wanted besides whomever Cleveland takes.

I won't be shocked if New England takes a reasonably early pick (round 2-3) and spends it on a quarterback. Maybe someone like Luke Falk.

*Legion* wrote:

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Blake Bortles was ranked as the best QB by DYAR in Football Outsiders’ Quick Reads this week. Recently-benched Eli was second. Brock Osweiler? 7th, five spots ahead of Tom Brady.

How was Jimmy Garoppolo only 9th in DYAR? There is no "R" for Garoppolo!

They continue to have issues scoring TDs. I imagine that'll change the longer he's in the system and they get another offensive skill player next season.

*Legion* wrote:
kaostheory wrote:

I loved that video. That's what being on the sideline with Bill Belichick and Tom Brady instills in you. I feel like Aaron Rodgers had a similar experience getting to be on the sidelines with McCarthy and Favre. And that no QB in Cleveland could possibly ever witness.

Or going back a little further, Steve Young watching from the bench during peak Montana/Walsh.

Or even Mark Brunell with Favre and Holmgren.

I've always said that veteran players "teaching" young players is overrated (coaching is for coaches), but I do think the QB position is unique, and that there's a lot to learn from watching a master QB prepare week in and week out.

This hugfest is kind of disgusting, but the Browns are the perfect example of why you need some leadership on your team. Kizer is trying to figure this sh*t out all on his own, the poor kid. It's not like bringing in Kenny Britt brought in that leadership.

Also, being coached by Brady and Belichick is clearly what makes Ryan Mallet so good. I'm glad he's backing up Joe "Check Down" Flacco in Baltimore as there will be continuity of leadership once Flacco gets the axe.

*Legion* wrote:

0

I suppose an "Of course people in that part of Florida would have an affinity for all things trash" comment would be wrong? Asking again for a very inappropriate friend.

I clicked on the thread thinking "is it over yet?" but realized one more week. Then the opening posts ask the same questions, why all I still watching this?

And actually I didn't watch even a full quarter last week. Meh.

garion333 wrote:

Also, being coached by Brady and Belichick is clearly what makes Ryan Mallet so good. I'm glad he's backing up Joe "Check Down" Flacco in Baltimore as there will be continuity of leadership once Flacco gets the axe.

To be fair getting groomed by Brady and getting groomed by Flacco mean slightly different things.

Spoiler:

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/bR0Ho3I.png)

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