NFL 2017 Week 4 Thread

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Random Thoughts:

Case Keenum has won eight games total the last three years as a starter. Three of those wins are against Tampa, and he has averaged 794 yards and 14 TDs per game against the Bucs. I don’t know why this is. I just want it to stop. Of Tampa’s 11 starters in week two, 3 didn’t start in Minnesota due to injury. Of the other 8, 7 went out for at least one play, meaning only one of the opening day starters remained uninjured and kept playing at his normal “high” level. Who would that be?

Chris Conte.

DAMMIT.

Detroit got screwed out of a win by an absolutely correct call, yet again. That’s two Calvin Johnson Rule losses and then this one, at least that I can recall. I feel like a Lions-Chargers game would be an inevitable tie, as it would wind up being an endless contest of each time trying to find creative new ways to lose in hilarious fashion.

Cam Newton looks broken at this point, and just isn’t healthy enough to carry a team lacking Greg Olsen and Jabba Benjamin on what remains of his shoulders. The Saints had given up more than a thousand yards in their first two games, yet basically shut the Panthers down. Cam has clearly played a style of game that caused him to take a lot of hits, but this is all pretty sudden. I like Cam, divisional rivalries notwithstanding, and hope he gets healthy again.

Last week’s TNF game with the Rams and 49ers was by far the most entertaining game of the year. Between their new teenaged coach and the acquisition of some actual offense players (hey, surprise, Sammy Watkins got dinged up), the Rams put up loads of points, and made just enough stupid mistakes to repeatedly give Brian Hoyer a chance to get the team down the field. It was INSANELY entertaining.

There was a point on Sunday when the top five fantasy QBs were Jared Goff, Case Keenum, Brian Hoyer, Blake Bortles, and Josh McCown.

Bill O’Brien, up two points, against a far superior team, with a couple minutes left, facing a 4th and 1, chose to kick the field goal and give Tom Brady a chance to beat them (which, of course, happened). Bill O’Brien is a moron.

So . . . the Jaguars are 2-1. Bortles threw four TDs when not behind. Fun mental exercise; what would it take for you to actually start believing Blake Bortles was a good QB? Like, to the point where you might say, “Man, I wish Blake Bortles was my team’s starting QB.”

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

Detroit Lions at Minnesota Vikings:

Case Keenum yet again proved he’s a solid QB against one team in the league. This is not that team. Also, I’m picking the Lions out of pure spite. @#$!! Case Keenum.

Cincinnati Bad Football Team at Cleveland Bad Football Team:

Neither of these teams actually deserves a name at this point. I might think about Cleveland with a healthy pass rush considering Cincinnati’s awful offensive line, but, well, this game pretty much comes down to a “I guess Cincinnati has some offensive guys who could do exciting stuff” and the Browns are still the Browns.

Los Angeles Rams at Dallas Cowboys:

If Jared Goff turns into an actual, real QB, it’s going to utterly annihilate any reputation Jeff Fisher ever had as an NFL coach. You can argue his mediocre record was at least partially due to some bad ownership or terrible drafting, but Goff was historically awful last year, and . . . is he really maybe not terrible? But, hey, it’s in Dallas.

Philadelphia Eagles at Los Angeles Chargers:

There are already rumors that the NFL would prefer to have the Chargers move back to San Diego, which would be tragic for the tens of fans who show up at their soccer stadium.

New York Giants at Tampa Bay Buccaneers:

LEARN TO THROW THE @#$!!! DEEP BALL JAMEIS.

MAKE YOUR WEEKLY PICKS HERE

A reminder, your two lowest weeks are dropped, so feel free to join in anytime.

Week 3 Results
ballnchained: 5-0
oldmanscene24: 4-1
iaintgotnopants: 4-1
UpToIsomorphism: 4-1
*Legion*: 3-2
karmajay: 3-2
TheGameGuru: 3-2
Jayhawker: 3-2
EvilDead: 3-2
MilkmanDanimal: 3-2
LeapingGnome: 2-3
Torq: 2-3
Infyrnos: 2-3
kaostheory: 2-3
Rat Boy: 2-3
Vector: 2-3
Zaque: 2-3
Abu5217: 2-3
Oddsmakers: 2-3
cube: 1-4
PorkSmoothie89: 1-4
sr_malo: 1-4
tboon: 1-4

Season to Date
ballnchained: 12-3
oldmanscene24: 11-4
UpToIsomorphism: 11-4
MilkmanDanimal: 11-4
TheGameGuru: 10-5
*Legion*: 9-6
karmajay: 9-6
Infyrnos: 8-7
Rat Boy: 8-7
PorkSmoothie89: 8-7
LeapingGnome: 8-7
Torq: 8-7
Jayhawker: 8-7
Oddsmakers: 8-7
kaostheory: 7-8
tboon: 7-8
garion333: 7-3
EvilDead: 7-8
iaintgotnopants: 7-8
Vector: 7-8
sr_malo: 7-8
Zaque: 6-9
Abu5217: 6-9
cube: 5-10
Nomad: 4-1
Minase: 4-1
Kush15: 4-6
Jowner: 4-1

Pick site threw up an error when I made my pics.

First you have to wait to post until Legion changes the pick em site and he can't even get that right? He is definitely holding you back from NFL thread greatness!

I am the best at getting everything wrong.

Abu5217: 2-3

I am sensing a pattern here. I even tried looking at the Vegas lines last week. This proves that my high finish last year (4th?) was certainly an abberation. At least this year has been consistent.

This American football stuff is easy

karmajay wrote:

Pick site threw up an error when I made my pics.

First you have to wait to post until Legion changes the pick em site and he can't even get that right? He is definitely holding you back from NFL thread greatness!

There's an algorithm in there that rejects dumb picks, like when someone thinks Tampa is going to win.

So . . . the Jaguars are 2-1. Bortles threw four TDs when not behind. Fun mental exercise; what would it take for you to actually start believing Blake Bortles was a good QB? Like, to the point where you might say, “Man, I wish Blake Bortles was my team’s starting QB.”

Because we're still talking about this, I'm going to quote myself from the Week 3 thread for those who missed out:

garion333 wrote:

I did like this one bit about Bortles from FO's Quick Reads:

You know what's really amazing about this? It could easily have been worse for Baltimore. Bortles was far from perfect in the red zone, going just 4-of-9 for 32 yards and three scores. There's a reason Jason Myers kicked a pair of field goals from inside the 20. And on third downs, Bortles was just 3-of-7 for 26 yards and only two conversions. The Jaguars left plenty of points on the field and still won by 37.

So even when the Jags blow out a team and Bortles stat line is amazing he's still holding the team back. Pathetic. 2-1 pathetic. Tied for division lead pathetic.

But, still, his QB Rating is 93.8, which is five points higher than his 2015 rating, while his ESPN QBR is basically the same as last year (good for 21st overall). Completion percentage is still just 59.3.

I guess, so far at least, he just wins.

Geez I'm sorry my QB couldn't completely sh*t all over your number one ranked defense.

I do find it notably hilarious that Blake Bortles' best game ever happened on a different continent, started before lots of people were even awake, and was watched by hardly anyone via streaming instead of broadcast normally.

So, I just refuse to believe it ever happened.

His girlfriend lives in Canada and they totally went to second base over the summer.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

I do find it notably hilarious that Blake Bortles' best game ever happened on a different continent, started before lots of people were even awake, and was watched by hardly anyone via streaming instead of broadcast normally.

So, I just refuse to believe it ever happened.

Do you have any numbers for this or are you just thinking about the US market, I've looked but was never very good at searching?

So the only thing Bortles needs to continue being great is...for the Jaguars to stay In the UK?

karmajay wrote:

So the only thing Bortles needs to continue being great is...for the Jaguars to stay In the UK?

Works for me. Khan already owns a soccer team there.

London kickoff times are brutal for the Pacific time zone though, they need to work on that scheduling.

*Legion* wrote:
karmajay wrote:

So the only thing Bortles needs to continue being great is...for the Jaguars to stay In the UK?

Works for me. Khan already owns a soccer team there.

London kickoff times are brutal for the Pacific time zone though, they need to work on that scheduling.

I think the best approach is just to make sure the London games regularly feature a team nobody cares about.

Oh, hey, mission accomplished.

So the Packers will be starting their 5th and 6th string tackles tonight, both UDFA and neither of whom have played left tackle. And if either of them go down then it's a guy who they just signed 2 days ago who knows none of the offense.

What could go wrong?

I'm concerned for Aaron Rodgers health, they should just start their 2nd stringer.

Docjoe wrote:

I'm concerned for Aaron Rodgers health, they should just start their 2nd stringer.

They're playing the Bears. It'll be fine.

Docjoe wrote:

So the Packers will be starting their 5th and 6th string tackles tonight, both UDFA and neither of whom have played left tackle. And if either of them go down then it's a guy who they just signed 2 days ago who knows none of the offense.

What could go wrong?

I'm concerned for Aaron Rodgers health, they should just start their 2nd stringer.

That sounds like the Panthers' O-line last year. The Packers will be fine.

Oh, Aaron Rodgers? No, he won't be fine. In fact, he'll probably die Sunday.

Remember to watch tonight's game on Amazon Prime and flip the language to English-UK to check out the "football for noobs" commentary.

Turned it on, got blasted with a scot. This is better.

"Instead of handing it off, he said, 'no, I'll t'row it'", lol this is great.

Oh, and touchdown, FRESNO STATE.

Oh no, Bears.

LOL Chicago. This is insane.

What is it with Tampa QBs who do embarrassing sh*t with the ball? Is like a disease they can't shake even after they leave.

This is the team I expected to see. None of this hanging with the Steelers insanity.

I turn my back for 20 minutes and suddenly there's a weather delay.

If you guys are bored during the delay, hop on Twitter and check out @PGDougSchneider.

He's a local reporter who tweets out what he's hearing on the police/emergency scanner at Lambeau.

It's terrifying.

Enix wrote:

If you guys are bored during the delay, hop on Twitter and check out @PGDougSchneider.

He's a local reporter who tweets out what he's hearing on the police/emergency scanner at Lambeau.

It's terrifying.

You're not lying.

F*CKING SH*T

Tell me someone else heard that. Or was it picked up by the UK team's mics?

Mike Glennon might not be very good.

iaintgotnopants wrote:

Mike Glennon might not be very good.

He's got 45 passing yards already. That's 1.6 Joe Flaccos.

*Legion* wrote:

F*CKING SH*T

Tell me someone else heard that. Or was it picked up by the UK team's mics?

I heard it too. Watching CBS coverage on Amazon Prime.

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