NFL 2017 Post-Draft Offseason

Enix wrote:

Did you watch the whole thing? And if you did, is there someone we can call?

I didn't watch any of it, just kept tabs on my phone. Was traveling for business all day, out on site for a week.

TIL: Brian Orakpo has 10.5 sacks last year.

I honestly thought he had retired.

garion333 wrote:

TIL: Brian Orakpo has 10.5 sacks last year.

I honestly thought he had retired.

Nope, a fate much worse: playing for the Titans.

*Legion* wrote:
Enix wrote:

Did you watch the whole thing? And if you did, is there someone we can call?

I didn't watch any of it, just kept tabs on my phone. Was traveling for business all day, out on site for a week.

Whew. Good to hear.

*lower voice * * addresses rest of the forum *

... should we tell him about Bortles?

Feeling pretty good in Chiefs Kingdom.

Aguayo gonna Aguayo.

Roberto Aguayo‘s stay in Chicago might prove shorter than he had hoped. The kicker started on the wrong foot with his new team, missing a 49-yarder at Arizona on Saturday night.

Damn. The league is less interesting without Q around. The Bills are trying to one up the Jets.

garion333 wrote:

Damn. The league is less interesting without Q around. The Bills are trying to one up the Jets.

Hey, now, I can at least name two of the WRs on the Bills, which is two more than I can on the Jets.

Of course, one of the guys in the Bills is a rookie who didn't even average 11 yards/catch in college, and that laughably low number is the only reason I know who Zay Jones is.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
garion333 wrote:

Damn. The league is less interesting without Q around. The Bills are trying to one up the Jets.

Hey, now, I can at least name two of the WRs on the Bills, which is two more than I can on the Jets.

Of course, one of the guys in the Bills is a rookie who didn't even average 11 yards/catch in college, and that laughably low number is the only reason I know who Zay Jones is.

For now.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Of course, one of the guys in the Bills is a rookie who didn't even average 11 yards/catch in college, and that laughably low number is the only reason I know who Zay Jones is.

That's about as far as Tyrod Taylor completions end up going anyway.

ICYMI, Football Outsiders (via ESPN) picks the teams most likely to go from worst to first.

Their pick: the Carolina Panthers!

Followed by Jags (one guess as to the "only thing holding the Jaguars back"), Bolts, Eagles, Bears, 49ers, Browns, Purdue, Tulane, UConn, Kansas, Rutgers, Ball State, Texas State and the Jets.

The Jets are going to be really bad this year.

Rock Chalk!

Enix wrote:

ICYMI, Football Outsiders (via ESPN) picks the teams most likely to go from worst to first.

Their pick: the Carolina Panthers!

Followed by Jags (one guess as to the "only thing holding the Jaguars back"), Bolts, Eagles, Bears, 49ers, Browns, Purdue, Tulane, UConn, Kansas, Rutgers, Ball State, Texas State and the Jets.

The Jets are going to be really bad this year.

The Panthers are also the only of the bunch that seem vaguely likely to do it, so it was an easy guess. The Jags are a possibility because they play in the CFL's second division. I mean, AFC South.

Enix wrote:

Followed by Jags (one guess as to the "only thing holding the Jaguars back"), Bolts, Eagles, Bears, 49ers, Browns, Purdue, Tulane, UConn, Kansas, Rutgers, Ball State, Texas State and the Jets.

The Jets are going to be really bad this year.

So the probability of selective sinkholes opening up in Lambeau, US Bank, and Ford Field during first 2 games of the season is high enough that the Bears have a shot? Fracking is a bigger problem than I thought.

Enix wrote:

Followed by Jags (one guess as to the "only thing holding the Jaguars back")

Nah man, it's cool, the Jags are bringing in competition to address those performance problems.

cube wrote:

So the probability of selective sinkholes opening up in Lambeau, US Bank, and Ford Field during first 2 games of the season is high enough that the Bears have a shot?

Well I mean there's 8 divisions in the NFL and all 8 teams were named, so "have a shot" just means "better shot than 49ers, Browns, and Jets", which is bullsh*t in the first case because Baby Shanny and Hoyer the Destroyer back together again is magic waiting to happen, in a division that's only one Russell-Wilson-lost-his-recovery-water away from open competition.

*Legion* wrote:
cube wrote:

So the probability of selective sinkholes opening up in Lambeau, US Bank, and Ford Field during first 2 games of the season is high enough that the Bears have a shot?

Well I mean there's 8 divisions in the NFL and all 8 teams were named, so "have a shot" just means "better shot than 49ers, Browns, and Jets", which is bullsh*t in the first case because Baby Shanny and Hoyer the Destroyer back together again is magic waiting to happen, in a division that's only one Russell-Wilson-lost-his-recovery-water away from open competition.

The Seahawks with an even vaguely not-incompetent backup are still the best team in that division barring a Carson Palmer resurgence; Seattle has an excellent defense, solid receiving options, and a couple decent backs. The 49ers best offensive player is either a lineman or Brown Hoyer.

Realistically speaking, the 49ers, Bears, Browns, and Jets are equally into "asteroid strikes the other three teams' practice facilities" territory at this point.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

The Seahawks with an even vaguely not-incompetent backup

They opted against signing the guy that would have given them one of those.

Unless Trevone Boykin makes some serious strides, it's Wilson or it's ugly.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
*Legion* wrote:
cube wrote:

So the probability of selective sinkholes opening up in Lambeau, US Bank, and Ford Field during first 2 games of the season is high enough that the Bears have a shot?

Well I mean there's 8 divisions in the NFL and all 8 teams were named, so "have a shot" just means "better shot than 49ers, Browns, and Jets", which is bullsh*t in the first case because Baby Shanny and Hoyer the Destroyer back together again is magic waiting to happen, in a division that's only one Russell-Wilson-lost-his-recovery-water away from open competition.

The Seahawks with an even vaguely not-incompetent backup are still the best team in that division barring a Carson Palmer resurgence; Seattle has an excellent defense, solid receiving options, and a couple decent backs. The 49ers best offensive player is either a lineman or Brown Hoyer.

Realistically speaking, the 49ers, Bears, Browns, and Jets are equally into "asteroid strikes the other three teams' practice facilities" territory at this point.

Great typo!

*Legion* wrote:
Enix wrote:

Followed by Jags (one guess as to the "only thing holding the Jaguars back")

Nah man, it's cool, the Jags are bringing in competition to address those performance problems.

I don't recall Dan Carpenter playing QB before! Guess he would only have to be half decent to win the job...

garion333 wrote:

I don't recall Dan Carpenter playing QB before! Guess he would only have to be half decent to win the job...

They're just going to start direct snapping it to Fournette anyway.

*Legion* wrote:
garion333 wrote:

I don't recall Dan Carpenter playing QB before! Guess he would only have to be half decent to win the job...

They're just going to start direct snapping it to Fournette anyway.

Who will then get tackled three yards behind the line of scrimmage before he can get any steam going.

*Legion* wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

The Seahawks with an even vaguely not-incompetent backup

They opted against signing the guy that would have given them one of those.

Unless Trevone Boykin makes some serious strides, it's Wilson or it's ugly.

Presuming for a moment Carson Palmer continues his decline, there's a solid chance a bad Trevone Boykin is still the second-best QB in that division if he starts, as Palmer was awful and Goff was so bad it's a shock he wasn't drafted by the Jaguars. King of Replacement Level QBs (presuming Ryan Fitzpatrick lets go of the royal scepter) Brian Hoyer would be the best in that group.

God, that was a depressing paragraph to write. Except for the Jaguars burn. That was fun.

Time for Why Your Team Sucks for the Buccaneers. It's . . . honestly pretty boring. Bucs fans are incredibly optimistic right now after years of garbage teams, so just not that fun comparably speaking.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Brian Hoyer would be the best in that group.

That's all I read in that.

IMAGE(https://giant.gfycat.com/FriendlySparklingAldabratortoise.gif)

TheGameguru wrote:

http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/...

OMG BARF!!!!

He found a mule for exporting Super Bowl rings to Russia. Direct Putin contact drew too much attention last time.

Oh, if Patriots related stuff starts showing up in Robert Mueller's final report, the coverage is going to be crazy.

Browns update!

The Browns played on Monday and Osweiler was pulled after a couple series. He went 6-8 for 25 yards passing. His longest throw was 9 yards. He had a pass tipped for an INT. (Hint: When 6'8" tipped passes shouldn't happen.) He overthrew receivers. His offense has yet to put up any points in nine series.

Kizer was a bit better, but had a bunch of mistakes also. He was just named the starter for Game 3. Problem is Kizer keeps running and taking RG3-like hits on some runs. Even if they think Kizer should be the starter for the regular season he won't be because the Browns play the Steelers and Ravens the first two weeks. Kizer wouldn't survive.

TheGameguru wrote:

http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/...

OMG BARF!!!!

I'd rather deal with another cheating scandal than articles about the Patriots org and Trump being close. Ughh...