These cold-ass IPA takes are really bringing down the temperature of the Hot Takes thread.
IPAs are not some sort of elaborate prank played on beer drinkers by some dated hipster stereotype. They did not become popular ironically. They're just a style of beer that doesn't appeal to your tastes -- which is fine, but if you're going to complain about them at least try to come up with some new material.
IPAs taste like someone pissed on the underside of a freshly-used lawnmower, scraped the wet muck from the inside into a blender, and added just a soupçon of condescending smugness.
IPAs taste like someone pissed on the underside of a freshly-used lawnmower, scraped the wet muck from the inside into a blender, and added just a soupçon of condescending smugness.
It comes in pints?
Jonman wrote:ClockworkHouse wrote:muttonchop wrote:at least try to come up with some new material.
I would challenge IPA brewers to do the same.
The one I drink that's < 0.5% ABV and 10 calories per can suggests they have.
That's a hot (par)take.
I had no idea this existed and I think it's neat.
It's surprisingly good. Like, you're not going to mistake it for a boozy one in a blind taste test, but it ticks all the same flavor notes.
"IPA" has long since ceased being a definable beer style and is now little more than a marketing and labeling strategy.
My hot take is that beer culture is kind of annoying and there are times I'm really thankful I'm unable to drink and can't partake in it.
My hot take is that beer culture is kind of annoying and there are times I'm really thankful I'm unable to drink and can't partake in it.
Gargling broken glass > beer culture
Beer culture > gamer culture
Gamer culture > Star Wars fandom
Gargling broken glass > beer culture
Beer culture > gamer culture
Gamer culture > Star Wars fandom
The theme and format for the next few pages of hot takes has been set.
"IPA" has long since ceased being a definable beer style and is now little more than a marketing and labeling strategy.
Yeah, a lot of the more classic English/West Coast/Double IPAs all have a pretty clearly defined style, but after that it gets pretty hazy (lol). Why is this brett IPA an IPA and not just a hoppy sour? What's the difference between a black IPA and a porter? What the heck even is a red IPA?
I mean, I don't really care what they're called as along as they taste good (and I think most of them do, though clearly I'm in the minority around here), but 'IPA' is a pretty broad category these days.
You're not in the minority; IPA is by far the most popular beer style in the US. I have a friend who's brother opened a brewpub, and didn't want to make an IPA. He eventually realized he needed to brew an IPA to keep the other taps open, and he couldn't do schwarzbiers or dunkelweizens if he didn't have all the income the IPA would provide. It far outsold everything else.
Classic American IPAs that taste like pine needles or bitter grapefruit > Being kicked in the stomach
Being kicked in the stomach > Being eaten by a bear
Being eaten by a bear > Dying in a fire
Dying in a fire > Yet another damn juicy IPA
You're not in the minority; IPA is by far the most popular beer style in the US. I have a friend who's brother opened a brewpub, and didn't want to make an IPA. He eventually realized he needed to brew an IPA to keep the other taps open, and he couldn't do schwarzbiers or dunkelweizens if he didn't have all the income the IPA would provide. It far outsold everything else.
Alternative solution: keep making schwarzbiers but re-label them as "lagered black IPAs". Who's gonna call him out on it?
Alternative solution: keep making schwarzbiers but re-label them as "lagered black IPAs". Who's gonna call him out on it?
hmm...
ring out the dishrags every night into bottles that say "P.F. Tompkins' (Dirty) Frank's IPA" and who would know the difference?
I rest my case. I guess it's not really a hot take.
These beer culture hot takes needed another pass in the microwave and some more paprika in 2012. Maybe say something about how superheroes are done now that The Avengers is out and how you liked Taylor Swift more when she was Country?
American brewers lack the experience, skill, and patience to brew classic Belgian styles, and US-brewed Belgian-style beer usually sucks. Sours made in this country taste like balsamic vinegar with fruit juice added, saisons are inevitably just over-hopped Belgian IPAs, and strong Belgian ales are either packed with sugar or taste like rubbing alcohol with perfume dumped into it.
IT'S A BEER HOT TAKE THREAD NOW GET OVER IT TEETOTALERS
Beer is universally gross.
Beer gives me universally gross farts. I can’t even drink a simple lager anymore. I use to love a cold refreshing golden every now and then, but now I don’t dare. It’s just not worth the agony of the stench.
I always assumed IPAs were popular cause of alcohol content.
Redwing wrote:Beer is universally gross.
Beer gives me universally gross farts. I can’t even drink a simple lager anymore. I use to love a cold refreshing golden every now and then, but now I don’t dare. It’s just not worth the agony of the stench.
Eat more yogurt?
SNES > SEGA
White wine > Red wine
Love > Success
Hades doesn't function at all as a roguelike. As a story-based experience, it's pretty cool and fun to explore. It feels decent to play, but that wears thin really quickly.
It's a RPG first and foremost. You don't get rewarded for expert game-knowledge and quick reflexes, you get rewarded for grinding resources, levels and upgrades. This is apparent when you start pushing into higher floors before the game thinks you are ready for it, and you do almost no damage. At which point you have very few options other than to force a gameover and grind some more.
And for this reason, any triumphant feeling I'd get from making progress in a "roguelike" is stripped, because Hades will eventually award me with a victory on a silver platter. The difficulty eventually becomes too easy to engage the player (I'm starting to experience this on the first floors, which just aren't fun anymore). At this point, the rogue-like structure just crumbles away and feels unnecessary at best, and tedious at worst.
And while I can't stay it's a bad game, I don't think the mix of this much grinding and permanent upgrading necessarily works with my concept of a rogue-ish game. I want to like it more, but playing it feels like an endless grind and not a rewarding experience of me pushing my skills and adapting on the fly.
Anyway, my hot take is that Hades is okay.
Hades > COVID-19
Covid-19 > brain cancer
Brain cancer > spontaneous human combustion
Conclusion:
Hades > spontaneous human combustion
Beer is universally gross.
It's a shame it doesn't suit your palate. You're missing one of life's small but significant pleasures. But, hey, if it doesn't work for you, it doesn't work.
All other trousers/shorts > Jeans
i do not own a pair. They are too hot in the summer and if they get wet in the winter take forever to dry out. I will never understand how popular they are.
Redwing wrote:Beer is universally gross.
It's a shame it doesn't suit your palate. You're missing one of life's small but significant pleasures. But, hey, if it doesn't work for you, it doesn't work.
There's plenty of S&M enthusiasts who'd probably say the same about attaching electrodes to their nipples or something. No thank you.
All other trousers/shorts > Jeans
i do not own a pair. They are too hot in the summer and if they get wet in the winter take forever to dry out. I will never understand how popular they are.
They last forever.
All other trousers/shorts > Jeans
i do not own a pair. They are too hot in the summer and if they get wet in the winter take forever to dry out. I will never understand how popular they are.
Highly agree with this. I wore jeans once in my life. I was on a spontaneous date, while house sitting and I had no other option. Horrid, ugly, uncomfortable things they are.
Uncomfortable truth: I think "disgusting IPAs" is basically an American thing, and/or a microbrewery thing. Every time I have an IPA from a brewery I've heard of, it's always perfectly fine. It's only when I take a gamble on "Wicked Joe's Texas Chihuahua IPA" or whatever that I wind up drinking compost runoff.
Dunking on IPAs as a sport is more hipster than those supposed IPA hipsters.
Guinness is the superior alcoholic beverage.
Alcohol is a fine way to ruin a delicious beverage.
Dunking on IPAs as a sport is more hipster than those supposed IPA hipsters.
"Hipster" is a catch-all term to refer to people who are younger than us that we don't like for spurious reasons.
Aaron D. wrote:Dunking on IPAs as a sport is more hipster than those supposed IPA hipsters.
"Hipster" is a catch-all term to refer to people who are younger than us that we don't like for spurious reasons.
Only hipsters use words like "spurious".
*checks thread title, puts on winter coat*
I was promised hot takes, but it is absolutely freezing in here right now. 
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