NFL 2016: Week 17

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EVERYBODY

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YEAH

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ROCK YOUR BODY

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YEAH

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EVERYBODY

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ROCK YOUR BODY RIGHT

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JAGS ARE BACK, ALRIGHT!

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* No Thursday Night game. Hurrah.

* The SF/LA rivalry has rekindled with a passion:
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* DONTARI POE is the new record holder for heaviest player to throw a touchdown pass. He broke the previous record by 82 pounds. The previous record holder was JaMarcus Russell. (Jayhawker ruined this tidbit in last week's thread.)

* On Jay Ajayi's 57 yard run in overtime, which set up the game winning field goal, the Bills had only 10 men on the field on defense: IMAGE(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C0ndDMoWQAAQ7z1.jpg:large)

* The Tom Coughlin sweepstakes has officially begun. He has interviewed with the Jaguars, although it's not entirely clear what position he is interviewing for. Reportedly, GM Dave Caldwell was not a part of the interview. Similarly, owner Shad Khan hired a firm to help with the coaching search, which also does not appear to have involved Caldwell. Coughlin may be under consideration for a front office job, in which he would then participate in the hiring of a head coach. Basically, the same kind of role Mike Shanahan is angling for in San Francisco.

* The Bills were rumored to be interested in Coughlin, but they appear to be intent on hiring from within, tapping assistant head coach Anthony Lynn for the job. Lynn was considered to be someone who would gain more attention as a candidate in this upcoming round of coaching hires.

* Cleveland beat the Chargers to avoid 0-16, with most of their offense (limited as it was) coming from Robert Griffin III. RG3 suffered a minor concussion, but has been cleared to play in week 17.

* NOTE: It is looking like I may be the person tapped to take over the fantasy league commissioner gig. If so, we're going to need someone else to take over the weekly NFL threads, as I won't be able to manage them both. I will, however, commit to maintaining the Pick'ems site, and provide admin access to whomever takes over, so that that person can easily manage the pick'ems game.

Pick 'Ems

There's not a lot of close lines in the pick'ems this week to choose from.

Houston at Tennessee (my pick: Houston)
Green Bay at Detroit (my pick: Green Bay)
Dallas at Philadelphia (my pick: Dallas)
Jacksonville at Indianapolis (my pick: BORTLESMANIA REVIVAL)
Oakland at Denver (my pick: Denver)

Make your Week 17 picks now!

Week 16 Results
garion333: 5-0
Zaque: 5-0
EvilDead: 5-0
Minase: 5-0
Infyrnos: 4-1
oldmanscene24: 4-1
*Legion*: 4-1
Torq: 4-1
Certis: 4-1
iaintgotnopants: 4-1
karmajay: 4-1
Rat Boy: 4-1
PorkSmoothie89: 4-1
Bighoppa: 4-1
Oddsmakers: 4-1
tboon: 3-2
MoonDragon: 3-2
Bubs14: 3-2
MilkmanDanimal: 3-2
UpToIsomorphism: 3-2
onewild: 3-2
Vector: 3-2
cube: 3-2
LeapingGnome: 3-2
Jayhawker: 3-2
Stele: 3-2
TheGameGuru: 2-3
jonfentyler: 1-4

Season to Date
Jayhawker: 52-27
Bighoppa: 51-28
Certis: 50-24
Oddsmakers: 50-29
Bubs14: 48-31
iaintgotnopants: 47-32
tboon: 46-33
EvilDead: 46-33
Torq: 45-34
*Legion*: 44-35
jonfentyler: 44-35
Rat Boy: 44-35
Infyrnos: 43-36
MilkmanDanimal: 43-36
Zaque: 43-31
Abu5217: 43-26
garion333: 43-31
onewild: 42-32
PorkSmoothie89: 41-33
UpToIsomorphism: 41-38
MoonDragon: 41-38
Minase: 40-29
karmajay: 40-39
TheGameGuru: 40-39
LeapingGnome: 39-40
oldmanscene24: 38-41
ballnchained: 38-21
Vector: 35-44
cube: 34-40
Stele: 23-32
Kush15: 18-17
Top_Shelf: 17-22
Paleocon: 15-10
Running Man: 14-10
Jowner: 4-1
Gumbie: 3-2
Nomad: 2-3
Docjoe: 2-3

Welp, four wins off the lead, two wins off the odds makers. As of today, taking three underdogs (Houston, Detroit, Dallas), hoping I can at least finish ahead of the oddsmakers on the year.

The Jags are back . . . in the top five of the draft.

The Jags are back . . . in the hunt for a new coach.

The Jags are back . . . in London, for yet another game overseas.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

The Jags are back . . . in the top five of the draft.

The Jags are back . . . in the hunt for a new coach.

The Jags are back . . . in London, for yet another game overseas.

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Not enough games to get back to 500. Oh well

No pick link?

karmajay wrote:

No pick link?

GOD DAMN IT I QUIT

There, there's your stupid picks link!

You know, with Mariota and Carr going down, it's only going to take another 30 or 40 QB injuries until Bortles is a top 10 QB. Top 15, maybe.

Houston Texans at Tennessee Titans: I really like Mariota, but have to admit I'm genuinely curious to see a Mike Mularkey offense without a real QB. Somehow "exotic smashmouth" is probably a lot less exotic with . . . OH DEAR JESUS Matt Cassel back there.

Matt Cassel? He's like Josh McCown without the comedy value.

Green Bay Packers at Detroit Lions: Rodgers has turned it on, Jordy Nelson is moving at something resembling speed again, and I guess Jim Caldwell didn't have quite enough firebrand speeches and coaching magic to really carry his team through an entire year.

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Which is just SHOCKING.

Dallas Cowboys at Philadelphia Eagles: 10 minutes into this game the entire Cowboys organization is going to go out for a beer, and players in Philly are actually going to be playing for their jobs.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Indianapolis Colts: Has it really been like two games since a Blake Bortles pick-six? New career high!

Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos: Uh . . . McGloin's probably better than Matt Cassel?

Also, I volunteer for NFL thread duties, if for no other reason to mock Blake Bortles every week.

I had Tennessee picked, and then, at the last minute, switched to Houston. Dammit!

Cleveland takes Pittsburgh to overtime! Pull it out Browns! Put the 1st overall pick back into play.

Walking into Levi's right now to watch the final slaughter.

Cleveland, you're now on the clock.

*Legion* wrote:

Cleveland takes Pittsburgh to overtime! Pull it out Browns! Put the 1st overall pick back into play.

Walking into Levi's right now to watch the final slaughter.

SEA looks checked out.

Top_Shelf wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

Cleveland takes Pittsburgh to overtime! Pull it out Browns! Put the 1st overall pick back into play.

Walking into Levi's right now to watch the final slaughter.

SEA looks outclassed by a superior opponent who's just been down on their luck for the past few years

Fixed

EDIT: well maybe not after that strip takeaway

Seattle fans yelling "SEA-HAWKS" along to the home team's "DE-FENSE" chants, apparently not realizing that they're still yelling over their team's offense, because #TheyAre12

*Legion* wrote:
Top_Shelf wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

Cleveland takes Pittsburgh to overtime! Pull it out Browns! Put the 1st overall pick back into play.

Walking into Levi's right now to watch the final slaughter.

SEA looks outclassed by a superior opponent who's just been down on their luck for the past few years

Fixed

Lol. My original response was going to be, "Hi, Jed!"

Seriously, how badly do Jed's parents need to take away his keys and hand the org to a legit business person?

Jed could still be CEO, but there needs to be a football person in charge of football operations that doesn't answer to Jed on football stuff.

That's the difference between a GM and a VP of football ops. Some are both, like John Elway. Sometimes it's separate, like the Jets with Mike Tannenbaum and Chris Grier.

But the 49ers don't have that. Baalke is just GM and Jed plays at being the football ops executive. They need their Elway, and Jed needs to stick to CEO the way Denver's Joe Ellis is.

Seattle calls their final timeout with 2 seconds left in the half, on SF's 3rd down, just to force another meaningless snap because he's an asshole.

Belated merry Christmas, MMD. I boxed up the 2010 edition of the Panthers and shipped them to Tampa for today's game. Enjoy!

The Niners halftime has some ex American Idol people from ages ago singing CHRISTMAS songs, because people really want to hear Santa Baby on NEW YEAR'S DAY WTF

This is so fitting for the current state of the franchise

There's not much to do at this game other than complain, in case you hadn't noticed.

Rat Boy wrote:

Cleveland, you're now on the clock.

Looking forward to ruining some promising college player's career.

*Legion* wrote:

The Niners halftime has some ex American Idol people from ages ago singing CHRISTMAS songs, because people really want to hear Santa Baby on NEW YEAR'S DAY WTF

This is so fitting for the current state of the franchise

I like to think every bad decision by the franchise was made personally by Jed. Like he was at his desk a couple months ago reading a memo about how American Idol old-timers doing Christmas songs on New Year's for halftime and it was CLEARLY the worst option on his desk and he goes, "Let's do it! I'm Jed and I'm in charge! Whee!"

Oakland is so screwed after last week's snapping of the leg.

*Legion* wrote:

Seattle fans yelling "SEA-HAWKS" along to the home team's "DE-FENSE" chants, apparently not realizing that they're still yelling over their team's offense, because #TheyAre12

Fine line between being good fans and loud fans.

What the hell are the FOX studio guys wearing?

Like NASCAR uniforms but brightly colored suits. Holy sh*t my eyes.

Ah, can't wait for tomorrow:

Chiefs are hosting a playoff game in two weeks. What terrible hire Andy Reid was.

Jayhawker wrote:

Chiefs are hosting a playoff game in two weeks. What terrible hire Andy Reid was.

Haha. We had a few of them as well. Tampa Bay comes to mind....oh and Carolina where Reid insisted on throwing over and over despite the run game clicking because James Trash and Pinky were such studs....

Runyan in the Carolina game was begging Reid to run the ball more.

But hey enjoy it. Looking back we all kept thinking some day he would win a Super Bowl. Maybe it will be with the Chiefs.

They don't even wait for sunup anymore. Mike McCoy's out at San Diego.

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