NFL 2016: Week 11

* Ben Roethlisberger joked that it felt like he played a different QB every time he played against the Browns. He’s not *quite* right, but not far from it. Derek Anderson is the king of repeat matchups with 5. After that, it’s Colt McCoy (3), Brian Hoyer (2), Charlie Frye (2), Jeff Garcia (2), and then the long list of one-time-only quarterbacks: Austin Davis, Johnny Manziel, Brandon Weeden, Jason Campbell, Thad Lewis, Seneca Wallace, Brady Quinn, and Bruce Gradkowski. This week, Cody Kessler will be added to the list.

* Cleveland’s getting ready another one not on Ben’s list: Robert Griffin III has been medically cleared to return to practice. The teams meet again in Week 17, allowing plenty of time to work RG3 back in.

* This Sunday will be the first time Tom Brady has played against the 49ers in the Bay Area. Brady famously wanted to play for his hometown 49ers, who elected to draft Giovanni Carmazzi in the 3rd round instead. (Carmazzi failed to make the active roster, losing his roster spot to fellow rookie, 7th rounder Tim Rattay. Brady went on to experience various levels of NFL success).

* Rob Gronkowski will miss this week’s game, meaning I’m driving up to Levi’s to watch the 49ers get smashed by the Patriots, and I don’t even get to see Gronk.

* Two weeks ago, against the Saints, the 49ers defense set a record for most games in a row in which a team allowed a 100 yard rusher. Amazingly, it was last week, against the league’s 4th ranked rusher David Johnson, in which the 49ers finally broke the streak, holding Johnson to a mere 55 yards on 19 carries. O’Neil credits the return of Glenn Dorsey (who had been making his way back from knee injury) with the improvement, saying that the team had been “playing without a true nose tackle” on the line, and attempted various things to cover it up.

* Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Christine Michael has been released. Seattle decided they’d seen enough for the second time, and cut Michael loose to open up a spot for one of their practice squad players to join the active roster. But again, Michael wasn’t out of work for long: Green Bay claimed Michael off waivers. Green Bay beat out Minnesota, who also placed a claim on Michael.

* Browns executive VP Sashi Brown: “We are not focused on wins and losses this year.”

* “We try not to even look at the standings”, he probably said next.

* Steve Smith is 3 catches away from breaking the 1000 mark.

* Through the last 3 weeks, Texans RB Lamar Miller is averaging more yards per carry (4.65) than QB Brock Osweiler is averaging per pass attempt (4.29).

* Bill O'Brien on Derek Carr: 'He's having a heck of a year. We felt like he was one of the better quarterbacks [coming out of draft]’. The Texans instead spent their 2014 2nd round pick on Xavier Su'a-Filo, who PFF currently grades as the 61st best offensive guard. (But at least he’s starting this year)

* Jared Goff makes his 1st ever start this weekend. The last #1 overall drafted QB to win his first start: David Carr. The #1 QBs since then: Carson Palmer, Eli Manning, Alex Smith, JaMarcus Russell, Matt Stafford, Sam Bradford, Cam Newton, Andrew Luck, and Jameis Winston.

* I mentioned in last week’s thread that the Jets might have been close to playing Bryce Petty, with Ryan Fitzpatrick questionable after a knee ligament sprain. Turns out that I was on the money, as Petty started ahead of Fitzpatrick (who was active). It went about as well as one might expect, as Petty and Case Keenum took turns being mediocre. Reportedly, Todd Bowles is afraid of his team quitting on him if Petty is named starter going forward, as Petty “has been an inferior quarterback to Ryan Fitzpatrick in practice”.

* Following the election, the results this weekend from Michigan (Wolverines) and Wisconsin (Green Bay Packers) were devastatingly and unexpectedly bad. This was punishment from the football gods, who remember and mourn the USFL.

Pick ‘Ems

Tennessee at Indianapolis: The last 6 weeks of points scored by the Tennessee Titans: 30, 28, 26, 36, 35, and 47. Mariota is on the loose. Rishard Matthews has 6 receiving touchdowns, which puts him on track to be the least likely double-digit TD receiver since Reggie Williams in 2007. The Titans and Colts both have been on a run of alternating wins and losses each week (Indy since week 2, Tennessee since week 6). This week, both teams are due for their next “L”, so someone’s streak is getting broken. Maybe we’ll get yet another tie. I’ll take the home team, Indianapolis, only because f*ck the Titans and Gumbie’s desertion of us.

Miami at Los Angeles: Jared Goff finally gets his number called, and he doesn’t get a super favorable matchup to start off with. Miami, after starting the season 1-4, has won 4 straight to put themselves back into the presumed AFC wildcard race. Miami’s offense has awoken with the breakout of Jay Ajayi, who waited until I cut him from my dynasty fantasy roster to stop looking like a scrub. Ryan Tannehill is also playing incrementally better football than in the past, especially with his 8.0 yards per attempt. His completion percentage remains high, but the ball is traveling further down the field. At least when Kenny Stills doesn’t drop it. I’ll take Miami, I’m disappointed no one seemed to pick up on my joke of projecting Goff to go 3-4 over the next 7 games… as in the record the Rams would need to finish the season 7-9. #ruined

Arizona at Minnesota: The 49ers “won” against Arizona last week, which means they played close enough to winning, but lost at the end to maintain their draft position behind Cleveland (who is strangling the #1 pick like they’ve named it George). Minnesota has come crashing down with 4 straight losses, and their failed Christine Michael waiver claim means they’re stuck with the scrub backs they have. The Vikings formula for victory involves lots of takeaways, which may work in their favor this game, if Arizona’s 4 giveaways against San Francisco is any indication. Still, I have no faith in Minnesota at this point, so, Arizona.

Green Bay at Washington: Ooooh-weee!. Kirk Cousins is such a dork. A dork leading the… wait, 3rd ranked passing attack? I made an Art Monk / Gary Clark / Ricky Sanders reference the last time I talked about Washington, right? It still looks that way on their stat sheet, except add tight ends Jordan Reed and Vernon Davis. If you catch passes for Washington right now, you have 450 yards and 2 TDs to your name, plus-or-minus a standard deviation. Aaron Rodgers and Green Bay have sunk to the 14th ranked pass attack. The team has dropped 3 straight, including a curb-stomping at the hands of the Titans last week. I’m going to pick Green Bay to stop the worst of the bleeding, but this is still a team in trouble.

Houston “at” Oakland (at Mexico City): Unfortunately, the Raiders were on bye during our coronation week last thread, but this week, the GWJ bandwagon takes off at full speed! Down to Mexico. We all know why the Raiders are going to win, you don’t need me to enumerate them for you. Brock Osweiler’s forward passes travel less distance than a futbol kickoff. Derek Carr is a missile launcher in the body of a Bakersfield native. Houston gets a close up look at the two players they should have drafted in 2014, who could have helped elevate their team into a perpetual contender, instead of just King of the Dumpster Fire Division. TOUCHDOOOOOOWN, RRRRRRRRRRRRAIDERSS!!!!!

Make your Week 11 picks now!

Week 10 Results
Bighoppa: 4-1
LeapingGnome: 4-1
jonfentyler: 4-1
MilkmanDanimal: 3-2
Jayhawker: 3-2
iaintgotnopants: 3-2
Minase: 3-2
karmajay: 3-2
tboon: 3-2
PorkSmoothie89: 3-2
EvilDead: 3-2
Bubs14: 3-2
Infyrnos: 3-2
ballnchained: 2-3
Torq: 2-3
Zaque: 2-3
MoonDragon: 2-3
Abu5217: 2-3
Vector: 2-3
Oddsmakers: 2-3
*Legion*: 1-4 <== Certis forgets to pick and I still only gain one GDMF game on him
cube: 1-4
Rat Boy: 1-4
UpToIsomorphism: 1-4
oldmanscene24: 1-4
TheGameGuru: 1-4

Season to Date
Bighoppa: 32-17
Bubs14: 31-18
ballnchained: 31-18
jonfentyler: 30-19
iaintgotnopants: 29-20
Oddsmakers: 28-21
Certis: 28-16
Jayhawker: 28-17
onewild: 27-17
Abu5217: 27-17
*Legion*: 27-22
Torq: 27-22
MilkmanDanimal: 27-22
tboon: 27-22
EvilDead: 26-23
Zaque: 26-23
TheGameGuru: 26-23
PorkSmoothie89: 26-23
Infyrnos: 26-23
UpToIsomorphism: 25-24
MoonDragon: 25-24
Rat Boy: 25-24
garion333: 23-21
LeapingGnome: 23-26
Minase: 23-21
oldmanscene24: 23-26
karmajay: 23-26
cube: 20-29
Kush15: 18-17
Vector: 18-31
Top_Shelf: 16-18
Paleocon: 15-10
Running Man: 14-10
Stele: 11-19
Jowner: 4-1
Gumbie: 3-2
Nomad: 2-3
Docjoe: 2-3

Back on top, but still no breathing room *shakes fist at Bubs and ballnchained*.

You finally did it. You made me pick Washington.

You. BASTARD.

bighoppa wrote:

Back on top, but still no breathing room *shakes fist at Bubs and ballnchained*.

And I'm so close!

I’m disappointed no one seemed to pick up on my joke of projecting Goff to go 3-4 over the next 7 games… as in the record the Rams would need to finish the season 7-9. #ruined

Oh, that was a joke? Seemed like a prophecy. The gods have deemed it shall be and thus it shall.

garion333 wrote:
I’m disappointed no one seemed to pick up on my joke of projecting Goff to go 3-4 over the next 7 games… as in the record the Rams would need to finish the season 7-9. #ruined

Oh, that was a joke? Seemed like a prophecy. The gods have deemed it shall be and thus it shall.

I mean, it is the most likely outcome, so there may be some blurred lines between joke and projection there.

Legion wrote:

Houston “at” Oakland (at Mexico City): Unfortunately, the Raiders were on bye during our coronation week last thread, but this week, the GWJ bandwagon takes off at full speed! Down to Mexico. We all know why the Raiders are going to win, you don’t need me to enumerate them for you. Brock Osweiler’s forward passes travel less distance than a futbol kickoff. Derek Carr is a missile launcher in the body of a Bakersfield native. Houston gets a close up look at the two players they should have drafted in 2014, who could have helped elevate their team into a perpetual contender, instead of just King of the Dumpster Fire Division. TOUCHDOOOOOOWN, RRRRRRRRRRRRAIDERSS!!!!!

Silver & Black Pride is already trolling the Texans: Comparing Raiders, Texans 2014 drafts is downright comical

That's the draft that sent Carr and Mack to the Raiders and Clowney and Tom Savage (yes, that Tom Savage) to the Texans.

Even better, it's a Monday night game (!) so we can all watch it. #GWJbandwagon

That draft was the draft that resurrected the franchise. The two picks after the four that the article talks about also netted them their nickel corner and a backup safety/corner swing player. They've got 6 players in that draft that have played 34 or more games for them.

Then they did pretty well with their next two 1st rounders. Amari Cooper is Carr's top target, and Karl Joseph this year is in the conversation for defensive ROY.

From the previous thread...

No one complained because Thurs night games all suck.

*Legion* wrote:

The last 6 weeks of points scored by the Tennessee Titans: 30, 28, 26, 36, 35, and 47. Mariota is on the loose. Rishard Matthews has 6 receiving touchdowns, which puts him on track to be the least likely double-digit TD receiver since Reggie Williams in 2007.

IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/XreQmk7ETCak0/giphy.gif)

*Legion* wrote:

Gumbie’s desertion of us.

Nah, my wife had our daughter October 25th and I've pretty much been a zombie since. I'm still lurking...

Tennessee Titans at Indianapolis Colts: Mariota can be good; he just can't be notably better than Winston. That would be upsetting. Also, Ryan Grigson is an idiot and he's going to waste Andrew Luck.

Miami Dolphins at Los Angeles Rams: Trying not to remember the Bucs could have drafted Tunsil and shored up LT for the next decade, and instead took a CB who's probably going to be pretty good instead.

Arizona Cardinals at Minnesota Vikings: The Vikings are notably vulnerable to a good pass rush and solid secondary. Oh, hey, Arizona.

Green Bay Packers at Washington Redskins: The only comfort I can find in having to pick the Redskins is I'm not convinced at all that Kirk Cousins is actually good, and this season is going to turn him into a giant anchor on the Redskins' salary cap for years to come.

Houston Texans at Oakland Raiders: Genuinely shocked anything good could come out of Fresno State.

I am REALLY bad at picking this year. I'd be better if I just flipped a coin like I did a few season back.

Gumbie wrote:

Nah, my wife had our daughter October 25th and I've pretty much been a zombie since. I'm still lurking... :)

Congrats dude!

And 4-1 this week. Tragically hilarious since I picked the opposite of who I thought would win.

Ah, so Gumbie's not dead, he just feels like it. Kind of like how New Orleans' special teams coordinator must be feeling right now.

Ugh. Watching Kuechly go off the field like that pretty much sums up how I feel about this season.

For Gumbie:

IMAGE(http://www.thedrawplay.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/2016-11-17-TitansBandwagon.png)

Gumbie, *Legion*: Listen to this for the final panel:

Ugh, Thursday games are stupid almost entirely because I forget to set my FF lineups beforehad. Blah.

Grats, Gumbie! Get some sleep! Hahahahahaahahahahaahaaahahahahaahaa*breath*haaahahaahahahahahaaaha!

Stele wrote:

From the previous thread...

No one complained because Thurs night games all suck.

There was only about 30 seconds of watchability in last night's game, and that was Kuechly's near-TD return and Ginn's TD catch on Cam's next throw.

Otherwise, the first half was junk. I went to bed (had to get up early this morning) and missed the Kuechly episode, the other Panthers injury and another near choke. So it sounds like the second half was just as bad, if not worse.

What's it going to take for the NFL to ditch these Thursday games? They don't seem to care if the product sucks (and it does).

Gumbie wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

Gumbie’s desertion of us.

Nah, my wife had our daughter October 25th and I've pretty much been a zombie since. I'm still lurking... :)

Hey, congrats man! Hope that everyone is doing well, although sleep will be a distant memory for a while.

Gumbie wrote:

Nah, my wife had our daughter October 25th and I've pretty much been a zombie since. I'm still lurking... :)

Great, Titans fans are breeding now. I see my serum didn't work.

So in the new movie Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk, Steve Martin is portraying the owner of the Dallas Cowboys. What, Andy Serkis wasn't available to performance cap Jerry Jones?

I'm done with Thursday Night Football. The quality of the games is just not there. I will watch it when my team plays, but that's it. Not watching is the only way we're going to get rid of it, unfortunately.

Wait, I didn't do any picks for last week? Dam film festival making me forget to do things.

Just to be clear, that's Packers reserve linebacker Joe Thomas, not the slightly more well known six-time All Pro offensive tackle for the Browns, Joe Thomas.

*Legion* wrote:

Just to be clear, that's Packers reserve linebacker Joe Thomas, not the slightly more well known six-time All Pro offensive tackle for the Browns, Joe Thomas.

blowfishes says:
Nov 18, 2016 6:30 PM
Browns will probably draft him.

333 11

Well their analytics say "Joe Thomas" is really good, so...

*Legion* wrote:

Well their analytics say "Joe Thomas" is really good, so...

He gained three yards on one carry! That's more yardage than you'd get out of a 35 year old running back in this day and age!

Rat Boy wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

Well their analytics say "Joe Thomas" is really good, so...

He gained three yards on one carry! That's more yardage than you'd get out of a 35 year old running back in this day and age!

OK then. So I've got 20 years left to get into shape and walk on at Cal Poly.

*Legion* wrote:
Rat Boy wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

Well their analytics say "Joe Thomas" is really good, so...

He gained three yards on one carry! That's more yardage than you'd get out of a 35 year old running back in this day and age!

OK then. So I've got 20 years left to get into shape and walk on at Cal Poly.

I'd join you, but that'd require me getting a doctorate at that point. Already burned through undergrad and masters.