* If the Browns weren't, well, the Browns, the ascent of Terrelle Pryor would be a bigger story. It was easy to ignore him after the first couple of weeks, chalk it up to early season weirdness. But Pryor is playing like a legitimate starting WR week in and week out. It's hard to fathom the guy we saw playing QB for the Raiders is this same guy.
* Michael Irvin and Marshall Faulk called out Phil Simms after Simms spent Thursday night talking about how great Blaine Gabbert supposedly is. Said Faulk, “He was talking about Blaine Gabbert like he was his relative.” (another Garion article scoop, from his daily skimming of Niners Nation, I assume)
* Joey Bosa. 27 snaps played. 2 sacks, 4 hurries, 1 QB hit, and 2 run stops. So that's why he got drafted that high.
* People are already talking about when the Texans can get out of Brock Osweiler's contract. (Answer: before the 2018 season. He had all $19 mil of 2017 guaranteed)
* Frank Gore has claimed to 9th on the all time rushing list, passing Jim Brown. His 4.4 career average per carry is tied for 3rd best in the top 10 with Walter Payton, bested only by Brown and Barry Sanders. (This is where Milkman goes off on Jerome Bettis again)
* Jaguars WRs Allen Robinson and Allen Hurns share not only their first names, but their middle names as well: Bernard.
* Miami's offense has 14 broken tackles this season. Ryan Tannehil has 11 of them.
* Jadeveon Clowned leads the league in tackles for loss.
* Raiders to Vegas inches closer to reality. The Nevada state senate has approved the stadium deal. It now must pass through the state Assembly.
Rough week for the Oddsmakers. A whole bunch of pickers gained ground this week.
Baltimore at NY Giants: Marc Trestman wasn’t elite enough for the Ravens offense, so little Harbs sent him packing. Up next for the job is Marty Morhinweg, one of the few offensive coordinators in the league whose last name I have to double-check the spelling of every time I write it. Marty’s last coordinator gig was for the 2013 and 2014 Jets, who were 29th and 28th in scoring, respectively. Ravens fans will no doubt point out that these were The Geno Smith Years, which should absolve Morhinweg somewhat. Even still, expectations of a Gary Kubiak-like midseason offensive revival are probably overly optimistic. Giants
Carolina at New Orleans: After years of watching the AFC South, it’s nice to watch a different division melt down and be a shoddy football factory. Carolina lost to Tampa on the back of Roberto Aguayo field goals, so you have to figure they’ve about hit rock bottom. They go on the road to New Orleans as slight favorites, despite New Orleans actually having won their last game. Cam Newton and Jonathan Stewart are both expected to return, which probably has something to do with it. I’ll take Carolina on the road.
San Francisco at Buffalo: #7tormsComing! Kap is back. Vegas has no faith, making San Francisco 9 point underdogs. But they don’t understand. Armed with his well-rested legs and an offensive gameplan simple enough for a high schooler, Kaepernick will run wild over the defense that Rex Ryan has systematically destroyed. San Francisco!
Kansas City at Oakland: Is Oakland ready to ascend into the class of the AFC’s best? FOX Sports says to hold your horses. Kansas City comes to town with a seemingly healthy Jamaal Charles for the first time this season. It couldn’t have come at a better time, as the Chiefs have gotten a lot of milage out of Spencer Ware, but he has also been a turnover machine. I’ll take the Raiders.
NY Jets at Arizona: Another awesome Monday Night contest. The Jets continue to plummet, and news this week that Eric Decker is headed for IR does not help any. The Cardinals blitzed Blaine Gabbert all the way to the bench, and ironically, Drew Stanton helped matters, as the Cardinals turned the ball over 0 times after back-to-back weeks of 5 turnovers. Carson Palmer returns Monday, but will be be able to protect the ball, or will the turnover frenzy return? Likewise, after a week of no turnovers against Pittsburgh, does FitzMagick regress back to his giveaway-happy mean? Could be an ugly one. I’ll take Arizona because I have more faith in Carson Palmer rebounding. Did you know he was born in Fresno?
Make your Week 6 picks now!
Week 5 Results
Certis: 4-1 <== sigh
Running Man: 3-2
Rat Boy: 2-3
Season to Date
Rat Boy: 13-12
Running Man: 3-2