Florida News Story Catch-all

Well, he succeeded in a way. As a comic he's already got some material:
"Good luck trying the case with a jury of my peers. There's gonna be a hung jury!"
/rimshot

Florida man jailed after fighting teenage son. He said it started with a hedgehog.

Worth a click just for the mug shot. Here's a preview:

Florida Man causes $100,000 in damage to a building under construction

Jones stated his name was “Alice Wonderland and he was told to commit the offenses by a hookah-smoking caterpillar.”

First time I read that I was like, "Wait, he didn't know that he, himself, was a Nazi?"

IMAGE(https://i.redd.it/bvsubyo2o9kz.jpg)

Florida gun owners encouraged to 'shoot the storm' and fire their guns at Hurricane Irma

IMAGE(http://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/news/2017/09/08/TELEMMGLPICT000139754555_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqrzXJAqh_oAO1OPUpqAutkTrjXLGxCWVgJ7gtunPkRDY.jpeg?imwidth=1400)

Spoiler:

I am 99% sure this is just somebody attempting to troll the foolish, so it probably doesn't count as a real Florida news story.

It's an Irma story, but more appropriate for this thread...

Florida man films Irma coming ashore in Key West... with predictable results

He just gets up and walks away. Then this guy walking his dog shows up.

Attention Pokemon Go players!

IMAGE(https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/21432817_1733270403382176_2022189059592598678_n.jpg?oh=1e1708213ebeabd0bd8243a41bd829f3&oe=5A54BC2E)

Jayhawker wrote:

Attention Pokemon Go players!

IMAGE(https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/21432817_1733270403382176_2022189059592598678_n.jpg?oh=1e1708213ebeabd0bd8243a41bd829f3&oe=5A54BC2E)

This is wonderful.

Officials in Manatee County, Florida used a county lifeguard whose brother was deaf as a sign language interpreter for a Hurricane Irma press conference.

AL.com wrote:

Members of the deaf community said Greene mostly signed gibberish, referencing "pizza," "monsters," and using the phrase "help you at that time to use bear big," during the event. Other information signed to viewers was incomplete, experts said.

Florida Man sets himself on fire after losing Cowboys-Packers bet to his wife

At the hospital, deputies spoke with a couple who admitted they were watching the NFL game and agreed to burn the losing team's jersey. However, the man decided to wear the jersey as it was burning.

A witness told Sebastian Daily, "He was set on fire after losing a bet on the Cowboys game … Skin was hanging off his arm and back."

The man suffered third-degree burns on his right arm and right hand and second-degree burns to his back.
When the woman's team won, her husband went outside to light his jersey on fire. He told deputies that he was drunk and tried to put the jersey on while it was burning.

Florida Man has been seriously wounded, but the jersey still burns.

Jayhawker wrote:

Florida Man sets himself on fire after losing Cowboys-Packers bet to his wife

At the hospital, deputies spoke with a couple who admitted they were watching the NFL game and agreed to burn the losing team's jersey. However, the man decided to wear the jersey as it was burning.

A witness told Sebastian Daily, "He was set on fire after losing a bet on the Cowboys game … Skin was hanging off his arm and back."

The man suffered third-degree burns on his right arm and right hand and second-degree burns to his back.
When the woman's team won, her husband went outside to light his jersey on fire. He told deputies that he was drunk and tried to put the jersey on while it was burning.

More like Cowboys Fan who happens to be a Florida Man.

Ok Google where is a bank near me that is ripe for the picking?

There are 2 banks near you that are ripe for the picking.

She said her daughter is extremely upset. “She couldn’t sleep last night. She woke up crying,” said the mother. “It hurts that she’s being taught this at the school where I trust she’s gonna be taken care of.”

What kind of f*cked up parenting results in children losing sleep and crying after seeing genitalia?

BadKen wrote:
She said her daughter is extremely upset. “She couldn’t sleep last night. She woke up crying,” said the mother. “It hurts that she’s being taught this at the school where I trust she’s gonna be taken care of.”

What kind of f*cked up parenting results in children losing sleep and crying after seeing genitalia?

That was my first thought too. I get that the party was inappropriate, but that reaction seems extreme.

You’re right; there’s crazy on all sides.

I kinda doubt the kid was that traumatized. Sounds like a prelude to a lawsuit. Still, I'm constantly amazed by what teachers think they can get away with these days.

Running Man wrote:

I kinda doubt the kid was that traumatized. Sounds like a prelude to a lawsuit. Still, I'm constantly amazed by what people think they can get away with always.

The lack of a common sense filter in some people's brains seems to be a constant. On school grounds. With students. The thought process had to start with the phrase "Wouldn't it be funny if...." Bad things tend to happen with the phrase.

This sounds exactly like a scene from one of dozens of comedic movies from the 1980s that did not age well. The only thing missing is Fisher Stevens.

Spoiler:

Fisher Stevens wasn't the male dancer, was he?

BadKen wrote:
She said her daughter is extremely upset. “She couldn’t sleep last night. She woke up crying,” said the mother. “It hurts that she’s being taught this at the school where I trust she’s gonna be taken care of.”

What kind of f*cked up parenting results in children losing sleep and crying after seeing genitalia?

I prefer the previous quote:

“You can’t even imagine,” said the mother. “You know, I’ve raised my daughter the proper way and never taught her anything similar to that.”

Yep. You're right. I can't imagine how you haven't thought your teenage daughter anything similar to what a vagina is.

Mind blown.

I don't understand why this isn't considered something more serious... 11 year olds, after party at school, sex related party favors...

But yeah let's joke about how prudish some of the parents are.

The whole thing doesn't make sense. It's after-school for a former student. So sounds like a faculty and graduated persons adult party.

Stupid location yes, but not the end of the world.

But then somehow there are 6th graders there. WTF?

Manta, there's plenty of awful to go around in this story. I think it's probably patently obvious to anyone that what the teacher did was at best a lapse in judgement and at worst some kind of sexual game with the younger students.

I complain about the parent's reaction because I believe that all that other stuff just goes without saying. The overreaction and think-of-the-children-ing going on in the responses to the incident are way over the line.

If a parent wants to condemn the incident, they should do that. Making claims that a child was irreparably damaged by seeing some sexual party favors does not help the argument. What the teacher did was bad enough without bringing parenting baggage into the equation, and on top of that, blaming the school.

BadKen wrote:

If a parent wants to condemn the incident, they should do that. Making claims that a child was irreparably damaged by seeing some sexual party favors does not help the argument. What the teacher did was bad enough without bringing parenting baggage into the equation, and on top of that, blaming the school.

I'm gonna call BS. Flagrant display of genitalia is aggressive and abusive. We would all have different opinions if adult women were forced to participate in this kind of party at work. It would be considered a hostile work environment. This is not the mere viewing of genitalia, but someone forcing you to look at it and to be amused by it. If you were a kid, what do you think the next step is? I sure wouldn't feel safe.

This wasn't consensual. That is what strikes at the heart of women and children. Assholes that show they can force you to feel uncomfortable get off on the fear that it produces, that something more serious is about to happen.