NFL 2016: Week 3

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* What a dark week for GWJ football. Most of the teams that have fan representation in these threads lost, or they had to come from 20 points down against the Browns, which should count as a loss. Philly, Houston, and New England fans enjoyed the weekend, but for a lot of the rest of us, not so much.

* Not only did all of our teams suck, but the week was an absolute bloodbath of injuries. Adrian Peterson, Danny Woodhead, Doug Martin, Arian Foster, Jonathan Stewart, Ameer Abdullah, Jimmy Garoppolo, Jay Cutler, Donte Moncrief, DeMarcus Ware, Josh McCown, Kelvin Beachum, Cameron Erving, and a score of other players who left games early with hamstrings or other less severe injuries.

* Russell Wilson’s consecutive TD pass game streak ended last week at 17. The new active leader, with a 12 game streak? Blaine Gabbert.

* Speaking of whom:

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/eReJXH6r.jpg)

A few years ago, PFT established the “Kordoza Line”, using Kordell Stewart’s career 70.7 passer rating as that Mendoza Line style baseline of bare minimum performance to be considered a functional starter. With the stat inflation of the past 10 years, I think Blaine Gabbert’s numbers (as a 49er) represent what should be the modern QB’s Mendoza Line. About 60% completion, about 80.0 passer rating. That’s the “you must do this well to be an NFL starting QB” line. Maybe with a little flexibility on the completion percentage if you’re playing in a Bruce Arians style downfield passing attack. If you play in a Norv Turner offense, that number better be way higher than 60.

* On the Norv Turner topic, the praise from everyone for his new QB Sam Bradford seems to be unending at this point. Turner himself said Sam Bradford is everything you look for in a quarterback. Where was everyone saying all this back when Bradford was first up for trade this offseason? Back when his asking price was two 2nds?

* Jimmy Garoppolo won’t dress for Thursday night. The Patriots are prepping Julian Edelman to be the emergency QB behind Jacoby Brissett. There’s no one that you’re willing to sign to be a QB2 ahead of your wide receiver, Belichick? Where’s Rohan Davey, he can’t be all that busy.

* What I find surprising about the Patriots QB situation is that they did not have any other QBs in training camp this year. Brady, Garoppolo, and Brissett were the only ones on the 90 man camp roster. Which I suppose is good for Brissett in that he got ALL of the “camp arm” reps, but this is also why you have a 4th guy in camp, so that you have a guy sitting by the phone if you need him. You know, your Brian St. Pierre kind of guy.

Pick ‘Ems

Baltimore at Jacksonville: Baltimore crawled back to victory after falling 20 points behind the Josh McCown powered Browns. The Jaguars simply crawled home after taking a whipping in sunny southern California (I know Jags, the California coast makes your coast look like sh*t). After a couple of false starts (the Gus Bus broke down), the Jags are ready to kick off BORTLESMANIA 2016 this week. Jacksonville finishes what Cleveland couldn’t.

Oakland at Tennessee: The Raiders couldn’t quite keep up with a Falcons offense that had Matt Ryan firing on all cylinders (through 2 games, Ryan leads the NFL with a 121.4 passer rating, the highest YPA/YPC, and a 72.6% completion rate). Still, Carr threw 3 TDs and posted a 115.0 passer rating of his own. That’s a more potent offense than the Titans have seen yet this year, having taken down the post-Megatron Lions offense last week. Tennessee got the ground game going against Detroit, though 67 of DeMarco Murray’s 89 yards came on 1 carry, while he ran for 1.8 per carry on the other 11 attempts. (Derrick Henry fared better on his 9 carries, going 4.4 a pop). I don’t think it’s enough to beat Oakland.

Los Angeles at Tampa Bay: Roberto Aguayo had 2 kickoffs against the Cardinals. Both touchbacks. Garion posted the story in the last thread about how kickoff returns have increased due to mortar kickoffs, and we’re still waiting for the guy specifically drafted to do them to kick a single one! We waited all offseason for this. Remember this? “The massive impact of Roberto Aguayo’s mortar kicks”?

IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/ToMjGpz81S7usvTIM8w/giphy-downsized-large.gif)

Screw Aguayo. Los Angeles.

Pittsburgh at Philadelphia: Philly has knocked off two scrub teams, and they’ve looked pretty good doing it. Now they get a serious measuring stick to see how far they’ve really come. Vegas isn’t thumbing their nose at Philly either, making them only 3.5 point underdogs. Wentz has been solid so far. It must be all that film he’s watching on his phone when he’s supposed to be listening to his girlfriend talk. Pittsburgh is one of the few top NFL teams that’s actually playing like one right now, making it through Le’Veon Bell’s suspension without much issue so far. I’m going Pittsburgh but I’m interested to see how well Philly does.

Atlanta at New Orleans: Atlanta beats the Raiders team on the road that New Orleans lost to at home in week 1, had their offense looking great while doing it, while New Orleans fell to 0-2 last week with their offense sputtering. So New Orleans goes into this game as 3 point favorites. OK. I’m not buying it. Atlanta.

One last important note: the new Neurosis album releases tomorrow. Drop what you’re listening to and grab it instead.

Make your Week 3 picks now!

I mean do it now, stop forgetting and making me fill them in for you!

Week 2 Results
Jayhawker: 4-1
onewild: 4-1
Abu5217: 4-1
ballnchained: 4-1
tboon: 4-1
EvilDead: 3-2
TheGameGuru: 3-2
Oddsmakers: 3-2
Rat Boy: 3-2
jonfentyler: 3-2
Torq: 3-2
garion333: 3-2
Paleocon: 3-2
Bighoppa: 3-2
Kush15: 2-3
Docjoe: 2-3
Bubs14: 2-3
Minase: 2-3
Infyrnos: 2-3
PorkSmoothie89: 2-3
Certis: 2-3
MoonDragon: 2-3
Nomad: 2-3
iaintgotnopants: 2-3
*Legion*: 2-3
UpToIsomorphism: 2-3
cube: 2-3
Zaque: 2-3
Top_Shelf: 1-4
Stele: 1-4
oldmanscene24: 1-4
MilkmanDanimal: 1-4
Vector: 1-4
LeapingGnome: 1-4

Season to Date
ballnchained: 9-1
onewild: 8-2
*Legion*: 7-3
UpToIsomorphism: 7-3
Rat Boy: 7-3
Bighoppa: 7-3
tboon: 7-3
Jayhawker: 7-3
jonfentyler: 7-3
Abu5217: 7-3
Zaque: 6-4
Certis: 6-4
MoonDragon: 6-4
Torq: 6-4
Paleocon: 6-4
TheGameGuru: 6-4
garion333: 5-5
EvilDead: 5-5
Vector: 5-5
Infyrnos: 5-5
Oddsmakers: 5-5
Bubs14: 5-5
cube: 4-6
iaintgotnopants: 4-6
Stele: 4-6
oldmanscene24: 4-6
Kush15: 4-6
LeapingGnome: 4-6
PorkSmoothie89: 4-6
Jowner: 4-1
MilkmanDanimal: 4-6
Top_Shelf: 3-7
Minase: 3-7
karmajay: 3-7
Gumbie: 3-2
Docjoe: 2-3
Nomad: 2-3

rough, not sure how I'll climb out of this hole.

you can also add ziggy ansah to that injuries list...unsettling going into lambeau

Great googly moogly.

porksmoothie89 wrote:

you can also add ziggy ansah to that injuries list...unsettling going into lambeau

I wasn't sure if he was going to end up missing time, but it's not looking great for him for Sunday.

Great googly-moogly. My initial picks were all away teams. Can't have that. I'm getting on board the WENTZLEMANIA train! CHOO CHOO!

Ok, maybe not, but I didn't see any others that looked like a toss-up.

*Legion* wrote:
porksmoothie89 wrote:

you can also add ziggy ansah to that injuries list...unsettling going into lambeau

I wasn't sure if he was going to end up missing time, but it's not looking great for him for Sunday.

no sir, and its a high ankle sprain. even if he gets back on the field at some point, those high-anklers, they linger.

porksmoothie89 wrote:

no sir, and its a high ankle sprain. even if he gets back on the field at some point, those high-anklers, they linger.

Yeah, and that's particularly bad for someone like an edge rusher that needs that initial explosion. That's too bad, because boy did he break out last year.

christ, our other starting DE (Devin Taylor) just landed as a NP on the injury report as well. this is not good.

I was 4-1 last week, with the one loss being the Chiefs, whom I expected to probably lose. Not bad.

Now the Chiefs have to go to New York and take out their frustrations on the Jets.

In local news, St. Louis finally get a Rams free week on TV. The early games are the Broncos vs Cincinnati and Green Bay vs Detroit The Chief at NYJ are the lone late game.

Last week, the Rams game had the lowest ratings of the three games broadcast on Sunday afternoon. Once it wasn't as ugly as the SF game, St. Louis tuned out.

The Chiefs have done a nice job securing the city for the most part. In addition to getting their games picked up so far, KMOX, home of the Cards and Blues, are broadcasting their games on radio. Another station 590 am has picked up the football Cardinals.

Now we just need to kick the LA trolls off the STLToday football forum.

Former NFLer Napoleon Harris might actually be a comic book hero.

Legion wrote:

garion333: 5-5
EvilDead: 5-5
Vector: 5-5
Infyrnos: 5-5
Oddsmakers: 5-5
Bubs14: 5-5

Oh, I see how it is...

Bubs14 wrote:
Legion wrote:

garion333: 5-5
EvilDead: 5-5
Vector: 5-5
Infyrnos: 5-5
Oddsmakers: 5-5
Bubs14: 5-5

Oh, I see how it is...

Heh. Oops. I usually edit that to put all the ties above the Oddsmakers line.

NBD, coincidence I'm sure, just couldn't resist.

*senses karmic retribution awaits him for the rest of the season*

oldmanscene24: 1-4

Thanks for dragging us all down when we copied your late picks.

I know right.

I never said they were good picks. Besides, how is it my fault you guys can't think for yourselves?

That Neurosis song sucks more than Blake Bortles' passer rating when he isn't down 20 points.

Baltimore Ravens at Jacksonville Jaguars: Honestly largely a toss-up for me; picking Baltimore out of spite.

Oakland Raiders at Tennessee Titans: At this point, unless it's against the Bears or Browns, I'm probably taking anti-Tennessee. I want to believe. I don't yet.

Los Angeles Rams at Tampa Bay Buccaneers: The Rams have beat the Bucs four years straight, which, yes, is embarrassing. Presuming the Rams don't injure Winston (which is a very real possibility with every QB playing the Rams), the Bucs should win this. Cross-country game, and it's starting to look like the Rams are a defensive line and then pretty much Cleveland.

Pittsburgh Steelers at Philadelphia Eagles: Carson Wentz has looked impressive beating the two worst teams in the NFL. Yeah, this doesn't look good.

Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints: Is "hurricane" an option? "Norovirus ravages both locker rooms?" No? Fine, the Saints, because it's at home. Julio is gimpy (which is becoming sadly common), and the defense is terrible for the Falcons. No pressure on Brees means lots of points.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

That Neurosis song sucks more than Blake Bortles' passer rating when he isn't down 20 points.

Well you're the guy that misses football to see Tori Amos, so I'm not shocked it's not soft enough for your tender sensibilities.

*Legion* wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

That Neurosis song sucks more than Blake Bortles' passer rating when he isn't down 20 points.

Well you're the guy that misses football to see Tori Amos, so I'm not shocked it's not soft enough for your tender sensibilities. :)

Decided you needed a quick edit for a second attempt at a decent burn?

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Decided you needed a quick edit for a second attempt at a decent burn?

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/78xFYWX.jpg)

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

That Neurosis song sucks more than Blake Bortles' passer rating when he isn't down 20 points.

I'm glad I didn't have to say it.

Why can't any centers hike the ball without bobbing their heads any more?

Edit: Osweiler playing a Schaubtastic game so far.

It's not Schaubtastic until an INT goes back for a TD.

No @philsimmsquotes. This makes me sad.

cube wrote:

No @philsimmsquotes. This makes me sad.

Understandable reasons, though.

That was Andy Reidesque clock management. Who the hell gives Belichick MORE time to call plays?

A coaching staff full of people he (Belichick) trained apparently.

bighoppa wrote:

A coaching staff full of people he (Belichick) trained apparently.

Sleeper agents.

Which, let's face it, if any NFL coach were to make that happen... it'd be BB.

GODDAMN KID STOP CRYING AT THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER

See, the obvious plan is that Houston is playing the long game and trying to tire out New England's offensive players early in the season so they're wiped out in the playoffs.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

See, the obvious plan is that Houston is playing the long game and trying to tire out New England's offensive players early in the season so they're wiped out in the playoffs.

IMAGE(http://i.giphy.com/MZksVcYF4CnQs.gif)

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