NFL 2016: Offseason: Pre-Draft / St. Louis Trolling

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Other reports say neither the Texans nor the Browns are actually interested.

IMAGE(https://i.imgflip.com/zzijo.jpg)

*Legion* wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Other reports say neither the Texans nor the Browns are actually interested.

IMAGE(https://i.imgflip.com/zzijo.jpg)

Jed York is still saying words.

I don't know if I have failed here or if someone else should have a Google search alert setup for these sorts of things, but we missed this HUGE news last week:

Trent Richardson signed with the Baltimore Ravens.

Granted, the Ravens have a pretty decent set of RBs right now and since they're still running zone block presumably it's fairly easy to slot in even halfway talented players, but I can't believe that the guy who runs straight into the pile will make the roster. Crazier things have happened. I'm nowhere near as optimistic as this article, which is nothing but "he was good in college" plus a list of excuses from his time in the NFL.

They are perfect for each other!

Holy crap, Certis was at the combine this past weekend.

IMAGE(http://cdn-jpg.si.com/sites/default/files/styles/mmqb_marquee_large/public/2016/02/29/mmqb-wentz-carson-combine.jpg?itok=LS8D7MHQ)

And with the second pick of the 2016 NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns take Shawn "Certis" Andrich.

Spoiler:

That's Carson Wentz for those who didn't read the image url.

garion333 wrote:

Holy crap, Certis was at the combine this past weekend.

Did you get to see his penis?

Figures he'd end up going to Cleveland.

Certis is too nice, I wouldn't curse him with that.

UpToIsomorphism wrote:

Certis is too nice, I wouldn't curse him with that.

With sending him to Cleveland or having his man-bits displayed on national television?

Rat Boy wrote:
UpToIsomorphism wrote:

Certis is too nice, I wouldn't curse him with that.

With sending him to Cleveland or having his man-bits displayed on national television?

Which would be worse?

UpToIsomorphism wrote:
Rat Boy wrote:
UpToIsomorphism wrote:

Certis is too nice, I wouldn't curse him with that.

With sending him to Cleveland or having his man-bits displayed on national television?

Which would be worse?

Is this rhetorical? It should be rhetorical. I'll say it anyway.

Cleveland.

Wentz needs to go to Cleveland because I can't unsee the Certis face and I can't deal with that on the 49ers.

*Legion* wrote:

Wentz needs to go to Cleveland because I can't unsee the Certis face and I can't deal with that on the 49ers.

I didn't know I really wanted Wentz on the Niners until just right this moment.

*Legion* wrote:

Wentz needs to go to Cleveland because I can't unsee the Certis face and I can't deal with that on the 49ers.

@DraftCampbell
Sources with the Cleveland #Browns say Jared Goff's interview was poor. He was very nervous. On Carson Wentz they say "Stud. Absolute Stud."

Looks like Goff is in on the plan too. #TankItForCleveland

*Legion* wrote:

Wentz needs to go to Cleveland because I can't unsee the Certis face and I can't deal with that on the 49ers.

Yep, because then you know he will start for the Chiefs later.

I'm a Parisian dandy! - Wentz

Carlbear95 wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

Wentz needs to go to Cleveland because I can't unsee the Certis face and I can't deal with that on the 49ers.

@DraftCampbell
Sources with the Cleveland #Browns say Jared Goff's interview was poor. He was very nervous. On Carson Wentz they say "Stud. Absolute Stud."

Looks like Goff is in on the plan too. #TankItForCleveland

You know, Goff kinda looks like Certis also.

IMAGE(http://a3.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2016%2F0227%2Fr58493_1296x729_16-9.jpg&w=750&cquality=40)

You can see that pristine skin that has never been tanned by the sun.

Thats a Canadian condition, right?

garion333 wrote:
Carlbear95 wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

Wentz needs to go to Cleveland because I can't unsee the Certis face and I can't deal with that on the 49ers.

@DraftCampbell
Sources with the Cleveland #Browns say Jared Goff's interview was poor. He was very nervous. On Carson Wentz they say "Stud. Absolute Stud."

Looks like Goff is in on the plan too. #TankItForCleveland

You know, Goff kinda looks like Certis also.

IMAGE(http://a3.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2016%2F0227%2Fr58493_1296x729_16-9.jpg&w=750&cquality=40)

You can see that pristine skin that has never been tanned by the sun.

Thats a Canadian condition, right?

He's Highborn from County Marin.

garion333 wrote:

You know, Goff kinda looks like 20-year-old Ryan Gosling.

IMAGE(http://a3.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2016%2F0227%2Fr58493_1296x729_16-9.jpg&w=750&cquality=40)

IMAGE(https://usatftw.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/gos2.jpg?w=1000)

Oh wow. Gosling looks like he's had a decent amount of surgery since he was young. Def a new nos.

garion333 wrote:

Oh wow. Gosling looks like he's had a decent amount of surgery since he was young. Def a new nos.

Now the Spaceballs know how to blackmail him.

Rat Boy wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

Wentz needs to go to Cleveland because I can't unsee the Certis face and I can't deal with that on the 49ers.

I didn't know I really wanted Wentz on the Niners until just right this moment.

Tag news:

Von Miller (Broncos) gets exclusive tag.

K Justin Tucker (Baltimore), WR Alshon Jeffrey (Chicago), QB Kirk Cousins, (Washington), T Cordy Glenn (Bills), CB Josh Norman (Panthers), DE Muhammad Wilkerson (Jets) get non-exclusive tag (team would have to give up two 1sts for them).

DE Olivier Vernon (Dolphins) gets the Alex Mack treatment, saving them $3 mil. Time for the Jags to make a move again? Or Milkman can dream and get him in Tampa.

Mario Williams to expected to be released by Bills.

garion333 wrote:

DE Olivier Vernon (Dolphins) gets the Alex Mack treatment, saving them $3 mil. Time for the Jags to make a move again? Or Milkman can dream and get him in Tampa.

Interesting call. Jacksonville obviously wants to add another pass rusher to join Dante Fowler. But at pick #5, they could potentially be looking at Joey Bosa and DeForest Buckner as the top prospects on their draft board when their pick comes up.

Joe Flacco and the Ravens renegotiate.

As of signing, the three-year extension has $66.4 million in new money. Coupled with the $58.6 million he was due to earn over the next three years, that’s a grand total of $125 million over six years, an average of $20.8 million — higher than Flacco’s prior high-water mark of $20.1 million.

And with $66.4 million in money he wasn’t due to earn, that’s an average of $22.13 million in new money, besting the $22 million in new money under the Aaron Rodgers extension in 2013.

Also:

Albert Breer of NFL Media has the salary cap figures, for 2016 through 2021: $22.55 million; $24.55 million; $24.75 million; $26.5 million; $28.25 million; $24.24 million.

Wow instead of Ozzie realizing that deal was a mistake, he doubled down on it. I'm just waiting for the Flacco quote that says all he cares about is winning (while taking up 25% of the cap and preventing them from getting other better players).

But is he elite?

Flacco's extension has to be viewed through the lens of a greatly increasing salary cap. The cap has jumped $20 mil over the past 2 years alone. QB contracts are set to skyrocket.

Flacco's extension flattens out his numbers. The comparison to Aaron Rodgers' contract is disingenuous; were Aaron Rodgers signing a new extension in 2016, it would be for a sh*tload more than what he got in 2013, prior to this jump in the cap.

Flacco's contract numbers will soon be midrange for a proven starting QB. Arguably, they already are. With Bradford signing a new deal at $18 mil/yr and Kirk Cousins getting the franchise tender year of $20 mil, it's hard to say that Flacco's $22 mil/yr is out of line. More like the money he USED to be getting was out of line, but now that his numbers aren't going up anymore, inflation has caught up and he's reasonably priced at this point.