NFL 2015: Week 15

Pages

- I haven't watched football for so long and I feel so out of the loop. I need someone to "We Didn't Start the Fire" the last 3 weeks of the NFL for me. I still pretty much only watched this weekend in a daze.

- It took Derek Carr some time to get started, but as the game went on, he figured out how to operate against that Denver D. Big win for the Raiders, and some great patience by Carr, who did not turn the ball over.

- Two big touchdowns by Ted Ginn. Granted, one came from a rather clear push-off, but still... Ted Ginn!

- Khalil Mack is justifying my stumping for him as the league's best OLB. 5 sacks and a ton of pressure against Denver. Quite frankly, I would argue he is the league's best defensive player. Watt and Aaron Donald are still beastly, but Mack is the guy I'd want to build a defense around.

- Tennessee's tackling effort on that Bilal Powell TD was atrocious.

- Alfred Morris with his first rushing touchdown of the year. I bet they were stoked at Buffalo Wings in Dubai.

- My MVP vote (were I to have one) remains with Carson Palmer. That is increasingly hard to hold to, given the performance of Cam Newton. But Arizona's passing production (8.1 net yards/attempt) is crazy - only two other teams have finished above that mark in the past decade.

- My PFF premium stats subscription finally ran out, and now I am rather pissed off. There's just no comparable outlet for the same quality advanced stats available to regular home users. It's rather despicable, in my opinion, that PFF built its reputation selling to bloggers and armchair GMs who sung their praises, only to pull the rug out from under these people and go STATS INC.

Pick 'Ems

Apparently I do better when I'm out of the loop and have no idea what I'm doing.

- Atlanta at Jacksonville: This offseason, discussions will take place at the annual NFL Owner's Meeting to determine how to deal with the growing problem of BORTLESMANIA Denial. Bortles intends to keep throwing those do-nothing TD passes that has him 3rd in the league, behind only Brady and Palmer. He'll have plenty of opportunity against an Atlanta team that was overwhelmed by Ted Ginn a week ago. Jacksonville extends their winning streak as BORTLESMANIA worms its way into the hearts and minds of NFL fans.

- Carolina at NY Giants: Garion asked, so here we go. The Giants seem like the best chance of stopping the Panthers from a 16-0 record, and not just because of their history as undefeated killers (per Garion's quote: The 1934 Bears (13-0), 1998 Broncos (13-0), and 2007 Patriots (18-0) all fell to the Giants). After the Giants, the Panthers go on the road to Atlanta, then take on Tampa Bay at home (TB has potentially enough firepower to mount a threat, at least if it's an odd-numbered week, but the game is in Carolina). New York's 32nd ranked pass defense seems a liability, but the Panthers are only the 25th ranked passing offense, instead getting the job done with their 2nd ranked run offense (which of course includes plenty of Newton runs). One big help for the Giants: Jonathan Stewart remembered who he was, and will miss his first action of the year with a foot injury. But I've bet against the Panthers enough this year. I submit to 16-0. Carolina.

- Cincinnati at San Francisco: Andy Dalton is out. AJ McCarron makes his first professional start. Seeing how big of a day this is for McCarron, you have to figure his wife, Katherine Webb, will make the road trip. To Levi's Stadium. The same Levi's Stadium I will be at. With Katherine Webb. I should figure out where the traveling team's family usually sits because Katherine Webb will probably be there. Take it away, Brent Musberger! Katherine Webb San Francisco probably doesn't win but I can't make that pick.

- Houston at Indianapolis: The AFC South race is heating up, with Houston and Indy clinging to a 1-game lead ahead of the surging BORTLESMANIAS. Houston will roll out TJ Yates, while the Colts still have Matt Hasselbeck in there, despite a minor rib injury that had been holding him out of practice. Vegas gives Indianapolis the narrowest of edges as the home team, and I'll take them as I am not feeling Yatesmania.

- Detroit at New Orleans: Not a lot of good things going on in this Monday Night battle between two used-to-be offensive powerhouses (though New Orleans is still 4th in total offense, but only 11th in offensive scoring). The Saints have lost 4 of their last 5, and having lost Mark Ingram for the rest of the season isn't helping (but their one win in those 5 games was last week against Tampa, but that's because it was an even numbered week). Detroit has been a turnover machine, 6th in the league in giveaway percentage. They're the league's 32nd ranked rushing attack, and their top 5 defense from a year ago has completely evaporated. Matt Stafford is about the only thing on the roster that hasn't dropped off sharply. And yet, they've won 3 of their last 5, including a road win in Green Bay, and a narrow home loss to the Pack. Still, I'll take New Orleans at home, but not really feeling great about it.

Make your Week 15 picks here!

Week 14 Results
*Legion*: 4-1
EvilDead: 3-2
TheGameGuru: 3-2
LeapingGnome: 3-2
Infyrnos: 2-3
garion333: 2-3
GioClark: 2-3
onewild: 2-3
tboon: 2-3
sr_malo: 2-3
Torq: 2-3
Mr E.B. Slugworth: 2-3
Oddsmakers: 2-3
Elliottx: 1-4
Bubs14: 1-4
Zaque: 1-4
Jayhawker: 1-4
Vector: 1-4
Bighoppa: 1-4
Abu5217: 1-4
oldmanscene24: 1-4
UpToIsomorphism: 1-4
Rat Boy: 1-4
Certis: 1-4
jonfentyler: 1-4
PorkSmoothie89: 1-4
thejustinbot: 0-5
Top_Shelf: 0-0
Minase: 0-0
Cobble: 0-0
karmajay: 0-0
Atras: 0-0
Gumbie: 0-0
iaintgotnopants: 0-5
Jowner: 0-0
MilkmanDanimal: 0-0
cube: 0-0
Peedmyself: 0-0
Tempest Blayze: 0-0
Flintheart Glomgold: 0-0
Kush15: 0-0
Paleocon: 0-0
troubleshot: 0-0
kaostheory: 0-0
Nomad: 0-0
Psych: 0-0
AnimeJ: 0-0
Grumpicus: 0-0
Neozilla: 0-0
whispa: 0-0
BEPNewt: 0-0
Stele: 0-5

Season to Date
garion333: 43-27
Infyrnos: 42-28
oldmanscene24: 42-28
LeapingGnome: 42-23
PorkSmoothie89: 40-25
Stele: 40-30
Oddsmakers: 40-30
*Legion*: 39-31
karmajay: 39-26
jonfentyler: 38-32
Vector: 38-32
Mr E.B. Slugworth: 37-28
thejustinbot: 37-33
tboon: 37-33
TheGameGuru: 37-33
MilkmanDanimal: 37-28
Rat Boy: 36-34
Elliottx: 35-35
EvilDead: 35-35
Zaque: 34-31
Peedmyself: 34-31
Certis: 33-32
GioClark: 33-32
iaintgotnopants: 33-37
UpToIsomorphism: 33-37
Bighoppa: 32-38
Torq: 32-28
Jowner: 31-19
onewild: 30-35
Jayhawker: 30-35
Bubs14: 30-40
Top_Shelf: 28-27
Abu5217: 28-37
sr_malo: 25-25
cube: 18-17
Atras: 18-12
Minase: 17-18
Cobble: 17-18
Gumbie: 17-23
BEPNewt: 10-15
Tempest Blayze: 10-5
kaostheory: 8-7
Psych: 8-7
Nomad: 6-9
AnimeJ: 6-9
Flintheart Glomgold: 6-4
Kush15: 5-5
Paleocon: 4-6
Neozilla: 4-1
Grumpicus: 3-7
whispa: 3-2
troubleshot: 0-0

Wound up making the exact same picks as Legion.

Atlanta Falcons at Jacksonville Jaguars: Jacksonville Jaguars
Carolina Panthers at New York Giants: Carolina Panthers
Cincinnati Bengals at San Francisco 49ers: San Francisco 49ers
Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts: Houston Texans
Detroit Lions at New Orleans Saints: New Orleans Saints

I think we exhausted all the songs with the word "Two" in the title that we could think of.

I've entered the usual garbage fire portion of the year.

*Legion* wrote:

Apparently I do better when I'm out of the loop and have no idea what I'm doing.

Or post your picks publicly. #PickGate #SourGrapes

Legion wrote:

I haven't watched football for so long and I feel so out of the loop. I need someone to "We Didn't Start the Fire" the last 3 weeks of the NFL for me. I still pretty much only watched this weekend in a daze.

In my head I just sang

"Titans got their asses kicked, Michael Griffin plays like sh*t"
"Mariota's pretty rad, rest of team is super bad"
"DGB couldn't catch a cold, we'll never see the super bowl"

WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE IT WAS ALWAYS BURNING SINCE THE WORLDS BEEN TURNING

0-5? I quit.

Atlanta Falcons at Jacksonville Jaguars: Jacksonville Jaguars
Carolina Panthers at New York Giants: Carolina Panthers
Cincinnati Bengals at San Francisco 49ers: San Francisco 49ers
Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts: Houston Texans
Detroit Lions at New Orleans Saints: Detroit Lions

Gumbie wrote:

"Titans got their asses kicked, Michael Griffin plays like sh*t"
"Mariota's pretty rad, rest of team is super bad"
"DGB couldn't catch a cold, we'll never see the super bowl"

WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE IT WAS ALWAYS BURNING SINCE THE WORLDS BEEN TURNING

IMAGE(http://replygif.net/i/457.gif)

I was actually 0-5 last week but not sure that matters. Must have been the drugs making picks for me.

Just remember, in tonight's game, ketchup beats mustard.

Atlanta Falcons at Jacksonville Jaguars: Bortles is that interesting mix where the standard stats love him, and the advanced stats think he's playing terrible; I happen to think "Temptation Eyes" was pretty good, but I'm more of a Throwing Muses guy.

Carolina Panthers at New York Giants: I'm torn; Tampa's barely-existent playoff hopes (I cannot even believe I'm writing that sentence in week 15) may depend on beating Carolina at Carolina in week 17, and . . . actually, you know, I don't need a reason to root against the Giants. Carolina does feel like a team that's gotten the bounces this year, they're not like the 2007 Patriots or anything. So . . . Giants, because why not.

Cincinnati Bengals at San Francisco 49ers: AJ McCarron vs. Blaine Gabbert. FEEL THE PLAYOFF EXCITEMENT.

Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts: You know, the loss of Brian Hoyer is really a hit to the Texans. *collapses on the floor, weeping with existential despair*

Detroit Lions at New Orleans Saints: I hate picking the Saints for anything that isn't the "team most likely to all wind up with explosive diarrhea" award, but they looked vaguely competent last week, largely because Mike Evans was single-covered down the field almost all day, and the Bucs literally never went deep to him once and SERIOUSLY MIKE EVANS SINGLE-COVERED DEEP AGAINST BRANDON "HUMAN PASS INTERFERENCE PENALTY" BROWNER IS MAYBE A BALL YOU SHOULD THROW FAT ROOKIE QB. Honestly, I could see Official Vintage Detroit Lions Offense, which means Stafford just flings it deep to Megatron and hopes for the best, which I figure is probably like 50% of their total offensive production over the last five or six years or so.

I usually never care or comment on uniforms but holy f*cking what the f*ck.

I'm embarrassed just watching.

Wow. The Bucs defense is terribad. This is actually my first view of a full game. Winston has not looked sharp either, but Martin is a stud, apparently.

jowner wrote:

I usually never care or comment on uniforms but holy f*cking what the f*ck.

I'm embarrassed just watching.

Yes, these uniforms are terrible.

Mustard kicks ketchup's ass, as mustard is in the process of just ruining next year's draft.

Jayhawker wrote:

Mustard kicks ketchup's ass, as mustard is in the process of just ruining next year's draft.

The pass rush is rattling Winston. He, per usual, had Evans deep on a bomb and missed him; the kid cannot throw a deep ball with air under it. If he could, the Bucs would score about 15 points more a game.

Also, Bucs DE got his league-leading sixth personal foul. He's not even a starter.

Yeah these unis are eye bleeding bad. Terrible idea NFL

I saw this in another forum I frequent:

I turned it on and my youngest daughter asked, with a perfectly straight face "When did the Teletubbies become a professional football team?"

I about lost my sh*t.

I'll disagree.

Those Rams uniforms are awesome.

Sunday's winner: PANTHERS

Carolina has a few more injured folks than they've had for a while, and the Giants have a habit of beating unbeaten team. But the Giants still start Eli Manning, which is worth a Carolina pick-6 right there.

Unrelated: So who won last night's Condiment Bowl? I had $5 on Relish.

I'm surprised the Bucs weren't able to ketchup.

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/KnR4Eux.gif)

Jayhawker wrote:

I'm surprised the Bucs weren't able to ketchup.

IMAGE(http://cdn1.thecomeback.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/94/2012/10/sas27.png)

Jayhawker wrote:

I'm surprised the Bucs weren't able to ketchup.

I guess they couldn't cut the mustard.

IMAGE(http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/swan_bite/27406075/199833/199833_original.gif)

Gumbie wrote:
Jayhawker wrote:

I'm surprised the Bucs weren't able to ketchup.

IMAGE(http://cdn1.thecomeback.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/94/2012/10/sas27.png)

This picture is awesome.

Atlanta Falcons at Jacksonville Jaguars: Atlanta Falcons
Carolina Panthers at New York Giants: New York Giants
Cincinnati Bengals at San Francisco 49ers: Cincinnati Bengals
Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts: Houston Texans
Detroit Lions at New Orleans Saints: New Orleans Saints

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
Jayhawker wrote:

I'm surprised the Bucs weren't able to ketchup.

I guess they couldn't cut the mustard.

Rams fans in St. Louis should relish this victory.

Rat Boy wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:
Jayhawker wrote:

I'm surprised the Bucs weren't able to ketchup.

I guess they couldn't cut the mustard.

Rams fans in St. Louis should relish this victory.

Lettuce not forget this could have been the Rams last game in St. Louis. Glad to see them go out with a win.

Bucs Nation is full of people screaming that Lovie and GM Jason Licht should be fired, because the defense sucks. Tampa has drafted 13 players in the last two drafts, and 12 of them have been on offense. The sole defensive player (4th round LB Kwon Alexander) immediately became a starter (until he took a PED-inspired four-game vacation).

Why do I read fan boards? Two years ago, the offense was somewhere between dumpster fire and somewhat larger dumpster fire. Now, it's a real NFL offense, and the defense sucks because I think four of the starters last night were UDFAs (possibly five, depending on lineups). When you dedicate multiple drafts to one side of the ball and that side of the ball improves dramatically . . . that's kind of the point, right?

They do deserve some flak for giving up the Sheldon Richardson draft pick in exchange for one season of Darrelle Revis.

They could have taken Richardson or, if they wanted a bigger body for 1-technique (since McCoy is a 3-tech), Star Lotulelei was the very next selection.

Pages