Seriously, what was Antonio Brown thinking? Is he completely unaware of the fact that the goal posts are not in fact made out of that padding all the way through? This is like Gus Frerotte's infamous headbutt. Speaking of injuries, Will Smith just received a Golden Globe nomination for
yelling "Tell the truth!" repeatedly on TV his role in the film Concussion. Methinks Roger Goodell has suddenly become a huge fan of Eddie Redmayne.
Green Bay 27 - Detroit 23:
Weeeell, it's kind of a draw looking from the outside in.
Jets 23 - Giants 20: So Cullen Jenkins made a few remarks about Brandon Marshall's relationship status with his wife and he called him out on it. Jenkins is, according to Marshall, in the neighborhood of five hundred pounds so someone's getting out of holiday related chores.
Arizona 27 - St. Louis 3: Quick, think of the team with the second best record in the AFC that time New England went perfect during the regular season. Nope, I can't think of them off the top of my head.
Atlanta 19 - Tampa Bay 23: Yeah, I think the Falcons are who their long suffering fans thought they were. Would making a crack about Atlantans getting burned again be too out of line?
Seattle 38 - Minnesota 7: Before the talk of the Seahawks being back
starts keeps going, they still have offensive line issues, no Graham, and no Beast More, not even At Least Mode. Raawls and Baldwin helping out Russell Wilson won't be enough against the likes of Carolina and Arizona, but good thing for them there's the NFC East winner if they get in.
Houston 21 - Buffalo 30: Now, on the other hand, maybe just maybe something good's cooking with the Bills. Now let's all watch the ESPN 30 for 30 about the Super Bowl teams Saturday night and revel in the tears of unfathomable sadness.
Baltimore 13 - Miami 15: At this rate, John Harbaugh may not have even met his starting quarterback for Week 17. Has he even been born yet?
Cincinnati 37 - Cleveland 3: The Bengals are now the #1 seed in the AFC, which means they at least won't get bounced during the wild card round. Progress!
Jacksonville 39 - Tennessee 42: Am I the only one who's on the fence about moving the divisional match-ups to the back end of the season? Yes, it adds drama to who finishes where, but then there's also the "Didn't we just see this game already?"
San Francisco 26 - Chicago 20: Blaine Gabbert was told by Coach Tomsula to enjoy the moment. What else was he supposed to be told? Be miserable the whole time? You know, like Bears fans?
Denver 14 - San Diego 3: Also, there's the "Didn't these teams suck the last time we saw them a few weeks ago?" that we might be asking in Week 17.
Kansas City 34 - Oakland 20: Can the Chiefs catch the Broncos and take the division before the regular season's over? The schedule going forward leans in Kansas City's favor and they should be favored in each game they play from now until Week 17, when they face the Raiders again at Arrowhead.
Carolina 41 - New Orleans 38: There's another unbeaten streak that's getting more headlines in the sports world, but the Panthers keep chugging along. Just don't ask Ron Rivera about the concussion protocol for Cam Newton again or else you're going to get scolded like you're in elementary school again.
Philadelphia 35 - New England 28: Looks like all those injuries have finally caught up to the Patriots, and yet Tom Brady feels "fresh as lettuce." I'm already seeing him in an SNL sketch as the manager of a supermarket's produce department.
Indianapolis 10 - Pittsburgh 45: No, seriously, what was he thinking?
Dallas 19 - Washington 16: DeSean Jackson again. I mean, Leon Lett only did it once and he's never lived it down. DeSean has a reel of plays like this dating all the way back to high school. You'd think by now it'd get through to him that maybe, just maybe, he should up his ball safety game, because someone must have yelled at him about it over the years.
Week 13 Results
Mr E.B. Slugworth: 4-1
Rat Boy: 2-3
Tempest Blayze: 0-0
Flintheart Glomgold: 0-0
Zaque is this week's resident of Perfection Island. And here's the season's total thus far:
Rat Boy: 35-30
Mr E.B. Slugworth: 35-25
Tempest Blayze: 10-5
Flintheart Glomgold: 6-4
Buffalo vs. Philadelpha: Both teams have shown flashes and if the Bills were playing in say the NFC East they'd have a shot at the post season. The Eagles do, but they also have their issues. Even after beating New England, DeMarco Murray went over Chip Kelly's head to demand that he be handed the damn ball more. Shady McCoy's still got a chip (Kelly) on his shoulder about how he left Philadelphia (Herm Edwards weighs in here. And by weighs in I mean drops a nuke bigger than "You play to win the game.") Anyway, I'm leaning Buffalo here and might DVR the following NFL Live.
New Orleans vs. Tampa Bay: These two teams played waaaaay back in Week 2 and it was close. The Saints' defense is terrible. I mean, okay, so they lost to a perfect team this past week, but they had the upper hand on Carolina. The Buccaneers are their .500 record, but there's room to grow and what better chance to grow than at the expense of a division rival that used to be the perennial resident king? Tampa Bay.
Washington vs. Chicago: Wait, where are you going? Come back to the thread. Yes, I know it's Washington and Chicago, but it's also Washington and Chicago. Maybe Cousins will do something that we'll be asked if we like or not. Maybe Cutler's heaves will end up in the hands of his receivers. Maybe DeSean will stop showboating. Chicago.
Oakland vs. Denver: It's a rivalry. It's got that guy who could be Manning's successor in the future. What more do you want me to say...because I can't think of anything else. Might as well enjoy the Oakland/Denver beef before it becomes the Los Angeles/Denver beef yet again. Denver.
New York Giants vs. Miami: Which versions of these teams are showing up this time? The "That's what they're supposed to be" teams or the "Yeah, that's probably who they are?" Also, fun thought that just popped into my head: what if New York lets go of Tom Coughlin and returns to Florida to coach the Dolphins? I'm going to bookmark this page in the event I'm right. Giants.
Enjoy the week, folks. And get some sleep, *Legion*.