NFL 2015: Week 6

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* Well Cleveland, you got a win. But you also allowed Josh McCown to write himself into your franchise record book, making it a Pyrrhic victory. Was one win really worth cementing Josh McCown as your team’s best ever one-week passer?

* Who knows, maybe this is the start of Josh McCown’s Beuerlein/Gannon-esque “I’m in my mid 30s and suddenly I can quarterback” renaissance.

* I wouldn’t bet on it.

* There were so many derpy-faced Josh McCown pictures to choose from for this week’s banner.

* Down to only one kicker on the Missed XP Watch this week. Are kickers adjusting to taking so many shots from this exact distance? That’s kind of something I expected would happen. But it may also be a function of all those kickers missing extra points getting fired.

* One very surprising player this year: Michael Crabtree. He is PFF’s 7th highest graded WR, and he is currently the league’s best in terms of fewest drops (zero on 47 targets).

* On that fewest drops list, also in the top 10: Mike Wallace, James Jones, and Darrius Heyward-Bey, all also with 0 drops so far. Seriously.

* As badly as I wanted Amari Cooper in the draft, I can’t complain about Jacksonville’s receivers right now, not with Allen Hurns and Allen Robinson both in the top 15 in receiving yards (and both above Cooper).

* One quietly rising player: Saints left tackle Terron Armstead. A 3rd round pick in 2013, he took over as a starter at the very end of 2013, put together a good 2014, and has taken a step up this year. Right now he’s playing like a top 5 tackle. He missed last week, and was replaced by rookie 1st rounder Andrus Peat, who didn’t embarrass himself. Peat will likely have to fill in for Armstead again on Thursday.

Missed XP Watch: Caleb Sturgis (PHI)

PFF QB Performances of the Week: QB Carson Palmer (+4.5), QB Matt Hasselbeck (+4.2), QB Andy Dalton (+4.2)
PFF Non-QB Offensive Performances of the Week: OG Kelechi Osemele (+6.3), OT Tyron Smith (+6.2), OT Joe Thomas (+5.9)
PFF Defensive Performances of the Week: DE Cameron Heyward (+9.8), OLB Aaron Lynch (+7.3), OLB James Harrison (+7.2)
PFF Worst Performance of the Week: OT Charles Leno Jr (-9.2)
Greg Robinson Watch: OT Greg Robinson (0.4)

Pick ‘Ems

Certis tries the "anything but *Legion*" tactic and yet we both end up 3-2 this week, as we agreed on one game, and then got the 2 right that the other person got wrong. Even being contrarian won't let you catch up! Sadly, we both lost ground to the Oddsmakers, who broke their funk with a 4-1 week.

Anyone, if you're having missing picks happen, please let me know. The overwhelming majority seem to be having no problem, but I've heard a couple people mention having their picks seemingly disappear after having submitted them. Even if you don't post a copy in the thread, if this happens to you, I can likely track down your picks in the application log.

Jacksonville at Houston: The rest of the team may not be keeping up, but #BORTLESMANIA is on the rise. Following his 4 TD performance against Tampa, Bortles’ PFF grade elevated him into the top 10. While Bortles and the dual Allens (Robinson and Hurns) have given Jacksonville a glimpse at not being a 30th-or-worse ranked offense for another decade, the defense has struggled, particularly with the absences of Sen’Derrick Marks and Paul Posluszny. In Houston, the QB yo-yo continues, as Brian Hoyer is named starter again, after entering last week’s game following a Ryan Mallett injury. Complicating Houston’s performances even more is JJ Watt’s own up-and-down play. He was not only not dominant against Indy, he was below average. I don’t know if that kind of luck will hold for Jacksonville, given the God Hates Jags principle, but f**k it. Bortles throwing all these TDs (tied for 5th in the league) has to win a game sometime. Jacksonville.

Baltimore at San Francisco: From Super Bowl to 1-4, these two teams are scrambling to try and preserve their seasons. One will get to 2-4 and have some hope, while the other’s season will effectively end Sunday. San Francisco managed to snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory Sunday night, with Kaepernick leading a series of 4th quarter scoring drives to take the lead, only for the defense to give up a TD in the final minute. Baltimore’s last game was even worse, making Josh McCown look like Joe Montana, collapsing in the final 5 minutes of the 4th quarter and folding in overtime. Steve Smith and Justin Forsett are both questionable for Baltimore, so they may again be significantly shorthanded on offense. With the weapons that could hurt SF potentially out, I’m taking San Francisco.

Kansas City at Minnesota: Kansas City lost Jamaal Charles for the season, a brutal gut-punch to a season that has not gone their way from the start. KC’s 1-4 record masks a team that is, on a play-by-play basis, not actually playing all that badly. They’ve played a murderous schedule, but they have held their own in their losses. Going forward, though, much will depend on how well Charcandrick West and Knile Davis will be able to offset the loss of Charles, and the Chiefs offensive line will be doing them few favors in that pursuit. Minnesota remains in wait for that true Teddy Bridgewater breakout, but it has not quite materialized so far. The team’s two wins were games in which Bridgewater rarely threw the ball (153 and 121 yards), while the games in which Bridgewater attempted 30+ passes are the ones that the team lost. Bridgewater has been an efficient short passer, but his yardage per game ranks 30th in the league, beating out only Foles and Weeden among starters. Adrian Peterson is back to being his 5.0 yards per carry self, but overall, the offense has struggled to put points on the board. I’m taking Kansas City on the road.

Chicago at Detroit: A week after playing Seattle to a should-have-been win (until Calvin Johnson fumbled the game away), Detroit descended into dumpster-fire status against Arizona, in which Jim Caldwell pulled Matt Stafford to play Dan Orlovsky. Caldwell has stated that Stafford is still the starter going forward, which makes sense, given that the other option is Dan Orlovsky. Between free agency and injury, Detroit’s previously terrifying defense has struggled, without a lot of bright spots for the future (besides DE Ziggy Ansah, the one remaining defensive line component still in place). After a brutal start to their season, the Bears have won 2 straight, by a combined 3 points. Cutler and Forte have both shown life. Forte stepping up is timely, as injuries have left the Bears with the biggest “wait, who?” wide receiver unit in the league: 2013 7th round pick Marquess Wilson, 2010 7th round pick Marc Mariani, 2012 UDFA Josh Bellamy, and 2015 UDFA Cameron Meredith. I had to look them up, because with the potential exception of Wilson, I swear I’ve never heard any of these names before. Especially amusing given that 3 of these guys have been around the league for at least a couple of years. Just hangin’ on. They get their opportunity now, and the way Detroit is playing, we may actually be looking at Chicago as a .500 team after this game. Chicago.

NY Giants at Philadelphia: The G-Men go from a dramatic Sunday night comeback win (stupid Niner 2-minute D) to another prime time matchup on Monday night. They’re pretty beat up, though, with Prince Amukamara out, Victor Cruz and Reuben Randle doubtful, and Jon Beason, Robert Ayers, Justin Pugh and Devon Kennard all questionable for this game. Philadelphia discovered that DeMarco Murray is most effective when doing what he’s actually been good at his whole career: lining up 7 yards deep and taking handoffs from the QB under center, instead of lining up next to the QB in the shotgun. Sam Bradford, when he decided to stop throwing INTs in the endzone, moved the ball effectively last week, completing over 70% of his throws after two weeks in 50% territory. Also, Fletcher Cox remains a monster. I’ll take Philadelphia at home, with so many Giants potentially missing this game.

Make your Week 6 picks now!

Week 5 Results
karmajay: 5-0
PorkSmoothie89: 5-0
Flintheart Glomgold: 5-0
oldmanscene24: 4-1
garion333: 4-1
Atras: 4-1
GioClark: 4-1
EvilDead: 4-1
jonfentyler: 4-1
Jowner: 4-1
Stele: 4-1
Oddsmakers: 4-1
tboon: 3-2
Certis: 3-2
onewild: 3-2
Abu5217: 3-2
MilkmanDanimal: 3-2
UpToIsomorphism: 3-2
*Legion*: 3-2
LeapingGnome: 3-2
sr_malo: 3-2
Zaque: 3-2
Peedmyself: 3-2
Elliottx: 3-2
Mr E.B. Slugworth: 3-2
Vector: 2-3
Infyrnos: 2-3
iaintgotnopants: 2-3
Bighoppa: 2-3
BEPNewt: 2-3
TheGameGuru: 2-3
Bubs14: 2-3
Rat Boy: 2-3
thejustinbot: 2-3
Gumbie: 1-4
Torq: 1-4
troubleshot: 0-0
Nomad: 0-0
Top_Shelf: 0-0
Psych: 0-0
cube: 0-0
kaostheory: 0-0
Jayhawker: 0-0
Tempest Blayze: 0-0
Paleocon: 0-0
AnimeJ: 0-0
Grumpicus: 0-0
Neozilla: 0-0
whispa: 0-0
Kush15: 0-0
Cobble: 0-0
Minase: 0-0

Season to Date
PorkSmoothie89: 18-7
jonfentyler: 18-7
karmajay: 18-7
garion333: 17-8
tboon: 17-8
oldmanscene24: 17-8
Stele: 16-9
UpToIsomorphism: 16-9
LeapingGnome: 16-9
Mr E.B. Slugworth: 16-9
*Legion*: 16-9
thejustinbot: 15-10
Infyrnos: 15-10
onewild: 15-10
Zaque: 15-10
MilkmanDanimal: 15-10
Peedmyself: 15-10
TheGameGuru: 15-10
Oddsmakers: 15-10
iaintgotnopants: 14-11
Certis: 14-11
Vector: 13-12
Atras: 13-7
Elliottx: 13-12
EvilDead: 13-12
Jowner: 13-7
Rat Boy: 12-13
Bubs14: 12-13
Cobble: 12-8
Abu5217: 12-13
Torq: 11-9
sr_malo: 11-9
Bighoppa: 11-14
GioClark: 10-10
BEPNewt: 10-15
Tempest Blayze: 10-5
Jayhawker: 10-10
Gumbie: 9-11
Top_Shelf: 9-11
kaostheory: 8-7
Psych: 8-7
cube: 8-7
AnimeJ: 6-9
Nomad: 6-9
Kush15: 5-5
Flintheart Glomgold: 5-0
Neozilla: 4-1
Paleocon: 4-6
Minase: 4-6
Grumpicus: 3-7
whispa: 3-2
troubleshot: 0-0

Jaguars

49ers

Vikings

Bears

Eagles

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans: Houston Texans
Baltimore Ravens at San Francisco 49ers: Baltimore Ravens
Kansas City Chiefs at Minnesota Vikings: Kansas City Chiefs
Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions: Detroit Lions
New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles: Philadelphia Eagles

Rat Boy wrote:

Jaguars

49ers

IMAGE(https://cdn.makeagif.com/media/1-16-2014/oB29Eh.gif)

Legion: I'm missing 5 picks I think came from week 3. I noticed last thread you had me 0-0 when I think I should have been 0-5. I always submit on the site but not in the thread.

Also Stele, your Louisville guy Deiontrez Mount tore his ACL in practice Wednesday. Really sucks for the Titans because they have absolutely zero depth at LB.

Gumbie wrote:

Legion: I'm missing 5 picks I think came from week 3. I noticed last thread you had me 0-0 when I think I should have been 0-5. I always submit on the site but not in the thread.

OK, I have back-filled the missing picks.

So I have 3 of those "no drops" WRs on my fantasy teams. But they're not getting enough targets or YAC to help me win games.

5 weeks of steady 3-2 picks broken.

Well at least I broke it with a 4-1 instead of a 2-3.

No idea what to shoot for now.

I'll try Hou, SF, Minn, Chi, and Phi though.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans: Houston Texans
Baltimore Ravens at San Francisco 49ers: Baltimore Ravens
Kansas City Chiefs at Minnesota Vikings: Kansas City Chiefs
Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions: Detroit Lions
New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles: New York Giants

PANTHERS, although I'm pretty sure Carolina is going to lose.

Carolina is playing on the West Coast, they're coming off a bye (the Panthers are terrible in the game after the bye week) and they're facing Seattle, whom they can't seem to beat. Luke Kuechly is back (yay!) but Jared Allen's back is jacked up (boo) and he probably won't make the trip west. One of the Panthers' two starting DEs is a guy they cut two weeks ago.

I figure this game will be close, but Russell Wilson will thread the ball through 8 Panthers to Jevon Jermaine Kearse with 10 seconds left to win. Score will be 15-13 or 18-12 or 11-6 or some weird combo you've never seen before. (Take the under, even if the O/U is 12.)

Edited because I'm dumb, like Russell Wilson's stupid face.

Enix wrote:

but Russell Wilson will thread the ball through 8 Panthers to Jevon Kearse

Hard enough to thread 8 defenders, but hitting in stride a 39-year-old defensive end who has been retired for 5 years is mad skills. Wilson must be feeding Jevon lots of Recovery Water.

*Legion* wrote:
Enix wrote:

but Russell Wilson will thread the ball through 8 Panthers to Jevon Kearse

Hard enough to thread 8 defenders, but hitting in stride a 39-year-old defensive end who has been retired for 5 years is mad skills. Wilson must be feeding Jevon lots of Recovery Water.

:D

IMAGE(http://cmsimg.theleafchronicle.com/apps/pbcsi.dll/bilde?Site=DA&Date=20081223&Category=SPORTS&ArtNo=812230360&Ref=AR&MaxW=300&Border=0&Titans-ridiculed-desecrating-Terrible-Towel-)

Jags
Ravens
Vikings
Lions
Eagles

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans: Houston Texans
Baltimore Ravens at San Francisco 49ers: San Francisco 49ers
Kansas City Chiefs at Minnesota Vikings: Minnesota Vikings
Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions: Chicago Bears
New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles: Philadelphia Eagles

Real picks on Page two due to Ruby and/or programmer and for sure *Legion* error.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans: Houston Texans
Baltimore Ravens at San Francisco 49ers: Baltimore Ravens
Kansas City Chiefs at Minnesota Vikings: Minnesota Vikings
Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions: Chicago Bears
New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles: New York Giants

Greg Robinson Watch: OT Greg Robinson (0.4)

A positive number?!

Fun fact: Mark Mariani was the Titans' return man years ago. He was very low on the WR depth chart. Why I remember this, who the f*ck knows.

Jaguars at Texans
Ravens at Niners
Chiefs at Vikings
Bears at Lions
Giants at Eagles

LeapingGnome wrote:
Greg Robinson Watch: OT Greg Robinson (0.4)

A positive number?!

I know, first time this year! He apparently had a good run blocking day, because his pass protection grade was still in the minus after giving up 3 QB hits.

He has only yielded 1 sack this year, but the 9 QB hits he's given up leads the league. In fact, the next highest is 7, and 3rd place is a tie with 5. So he's nearly double 3rd place. Poor Foles.

Wait, a week 6 thread early on Thursday? Who's making you do this? What's wrong? IF YOU'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED SAY SOMETHING OPTIMISTIC ABOUT BORTLES.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans: THE POWER OF JJ WATT COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF JJ WATT COMPELS YOU!

Baltimore Ravens at San Francisco 49ers: Tempted to go Baltimore just to pick against whatever teams Legion happens to be currently rooting for (Fat Josh Freeman Pic Payback Post #243), but, if you make Josh McCown look that good and then fly across the country, I can't in good conscience let you marry my daughter.

Kansas City Chiefs at Minnesota Vikings: Football Outsiders has created a new stat; Air yards Less than EXpected, designed to illustrate which QBs throw short of the sticks on 3rd/4th down. It's named after Alex Smith. And that was before Jamaal Charles got hurt.

Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions: I'll take the turd sandwich.

New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles: The Giants seem to kind of not entirely suck. Right? I mean, I think.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

just to pick against whatever teams Legion happens to be currently rooting for

I LOVE BOTH MY TEAMS I AM POLYTEAMOROUS DEAL WITH IT

You don't understand how to have room in your heart for two teams because your fatass QBs take up all that space by themselves

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Wait, a week 6 thread early on Thursday? Who's making you do this? What's wrong? IF YOU'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED SAY SOMETHING OPTIMISTIC ABOUT BORTLES.

Just because it went up before 5pm doesn't make it early.

Someday there will be a Wed thread again. Maybe.

At some point we're gonna have to discuss how Denver is undefeated with the worst offense and best defense in football.

Nothing to see

garion333 wrote:

At some point we're gonna have to discuss how Denver is undefeated with the worst offense and best defense in football.

Yeah I'm actually going to have to keep the Denver defense on the bench next week when they are on bye instead of dumping like usual in fantasy.

Rat Boy wrote:

Nevada declares daily fantasy is gambling and orders sites to shut down in-state operations. This court ruling not brought to you by Draft Kings.

"Well, I guess we could just run more ads for boner pills."

--Roger Goodell, probably.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans: Jacksonville Jaguars
Baltimore Ravens at San Francisco 49ers: Baltimore Ravens
Kansas City Chiefs at Minnesota Vikings: Minnesota Vikings
Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions: Detroit Lions
New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles: New York Giants

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans: Jacksonville Jaguars
My Texans are in a bad spiral, and flopping back and forth between Mallet and Hoyer isn't going to do them any favors. Hoyer looks good, but manages to throw interception at crucial moments. Mallet has a cannon for an arm, but no setting other than 'blast the receiver's hands off.' I'm rooting for them, but I have to pick the Bortlesguars.

Baltimore Ravens at San Francisco 49ers: Baltimore Ravens
Kansas City Chiefs at Minnesota Vikings: Minnesota Vikings
Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions: Chicago Bears
New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles: New York Giants

Last week was bullsh*t. The picks that Legion got over me were barely by a hair! And here we are again, trying to pick the brightest dumpster fire among a whole field of them.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans: Jacksonville Jaguars
Baltimore Ravens at San Francisco 49ers: San Francisco 49ers
Kansas City Chiefs at Minnesota Vikings: Minnesota Vikings
Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions: Chicago Bears
New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles: New York Giants

Rat Boy wrote:

Nevada declares daily fantasy is gambling and orders sites to shut down in-state operations. This court ruling not brought to you by Draft Kings.

Are they shutting down the advertising too?

Spoiler:

I know it won't stop but I dare to dream.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans: Houston Texans
Baltimore Ravens at San Francisco 49ers: Baltimore Ravens
Kansas City Chiefs at Minnesota Vikings: Minnesota Vikings
Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions: Detroit Lions
New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles: New York Giants

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