The X-Files Catch All

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I have many complicated feelings about this. Mostly, though, its fear.

It's Fox, right?

Episode one - Inexplicable acts of destruction claimed by far away Islamic terror group are found to be the work of a genie. Exorcists save the day and Islamic magicians are vanquished in showdown in Butte, Montana.

Episode two - Investigation of "alien storage" site leads to discovery of Presidents' plan to put political opponents in death camps, claiming they were victims of mass alien abductions. Plan to abduct them during "National Reconciliation Conference" thwarted, Joe Biden flees the country to go live with co-conspirator Edward Snowden.

Episode three - President is revealed to be alien in disguise; as a twist, the current FBI head is actually J. Edgar Hoover in disguise. Heroic Secret Service agents kill the alien heading their agency and purge the FBI of it's taint.

Episode four - Aliens revealed to be trying to control IRS in order to create 100% tax level People's Alien Paradise. Ron Paul guest stars as "Heinrich Sternlicht", the heroic FM radio host derided as a conspiracy theorist by the liberals. He gets the truth out on his pirate station and heroic mobs burn the IRS HQ to the ground.

Episode five - Atheist witches try to take over the country. It's revealed they took over the Catholic Church in AD 314. Liberty University is the site of the show-down between Luther's Hammers and the dastardly Evolution Posse.

Episode six - Rush Limbaugh and Dr. Oz guest star as psychics who work to return The American Spirit stolen by liberal psychic vampires. Essence of country returned and liberal media outlets collapse due to being owned and controlled by the vampires. Nancy Pelosi guest stars as Green Climate Change Vampire #1, with Michael Mann as the hissing head vampire.

Well, that took a sudden turn to Cleveland.

I guess I should get around to watching the second movie then.

Polygon wrote:

The world has certainly become a different place for conspiracy theories in the twenty-odd years since The X-Files premiered, thanks in no small part to the internet. It would be fantastic to see Mulder attempting to track down Slenderman as Scully protests that the origins of the urban myth are recorded and demonstrably fictional. I wouldn't mind finding out what Mulder thinks of Truthers, Birthers and people who think that lizardmen are in charge of the government, either.

All this please. And the Lone Gunmen.

Gravey wrote:

I guess I should get around to watching the second movie then.

I thought the second movie was terrible.

Robear wrote:

Episode six - Rush Limbaugh and Dr. Oz guest star as psychics who work to return The American Spirit stolen by liberal psychic vampires. Essence of country returned and liberal media outlets collapse due to being owned and controlled by the vampires. Nancy Pelosi guest stars as Green Climate Change Vampire #1, with Michael Mann as the hissing head vampire.

I would watch this.

MeatMan wrote:

Well, that took a sudden turn to Cleveland.

Yeah, I think Robear is a little confused on how this is supposed to work:

Lisa: How can Fox News be so conservative when the Fox network keeps airing raunchy shows?
Kent Brockman: Fox deliberately runs shows that will earn them huge fines which are then funnelled through the FCC straight to the Republican Party!

Series to debut after the NFC Championship Game on January 24th. Three hours of Joe Buck followed by an hour of David Duchovny.

Is this awful, or am I just really in the wrong frame of mind to watch this series?

FUUUCCCCKCKKKKK YOOUOUUUU FOX

PVR recorded half an hour of football post-game ass-sh*t f*cking bullsh*t ass, and half an hour of X-Files

FFUFUUUUUCCKCKKK YOOUUUOUOUUUUUUUO

kazooka wrote:

Is this awful, or am I just really in the wrong frame of mind to watch this series?

Probably awful. Reviews haven't been kind to the first episode, though the following episodes have fared a bit better.

I like the first half so far. Ironic that their mobile phones are bigger now than they were 20 years ago.

Well, network TV, I tried to play fair. But instead you thought a NASCAR driver talking about handegg in between Budweiser commercials was too important, so rot in hell.

I only know this just because I'm watching the original series simultaneously on Netflix...

Spoiler:

...the Asian scientist in charge of the reverse engineered UFO was played by the same guy who was part of the science team in the Second Season episode "Firewalker." Both ended up dead.

On it's own the episode is kinda meh and moved a bit to fast but I'm hoping going forward things will get better. From what I read is that the next two episodes do get stronger.

Tagging in. Didn't get to watch last night thanks to local news and sports pre-empting and delaying the show an hour. Should catch up tonight.

It moved really fast, and left out a lot of key points about what was going on since we last saw the characters. However, I know they only have six episodes to tell a story AND catch us back up.

I just hope the other episodes are Case of the Weeks like the little trailer at the end of last night's show make them seem to be. No one really likes the overarching plot of the show, especially because it became insanely boring and confusing at the end.

Spoiler:

Also they threw that out in last night's episode! Which is insanely stupid. There never were aliens! It's been the government the whole time! Surprise!

Having watched X-Files an awful lot they have done the whole it wasn't aliens but the government and an elaborate hoax like a millions times. They love to go back and forth with it as a way to keep the show going.

Ug. It was everything I hated about the last couple seasons and nothing that I loved about the first several seasons.

But, I'll keep watching.

Gravey wrote:

FUUUCCCCKCKKKKK YOOUOUUUU FOX

PVR recorded half an hour of football post-game ass-sh*t f*cking bullsh*t ass, and half an hour of X-Files

FFUFUUUUUCCKCKKK YOOUUUOUOUUUUUUUO

Times eleventy billion

Fortunately we found the episode online so we will watch it after the munchkin goes to bed.

Strewth wrote:
Gravey wrote:

FUUUCCCCKCKKKKK YOOUOUUUU FOX

PVR recorded half an hour of football post-game ass-sh*t f*cking bullsh*t ass, and half an hour of X-Files

FFUFUUUUUCCKCKKK YOOUUUOUOUUUUUUUO

Times eleventy billion

Fortunately we found the episode online so we will watch it after the munchkin goes to bed.

Always -- ALWAAAAAYS -- add an hour to the end of any show you record on networks that have sporting events. It's the only way to stay sane.

I had such oscillating feelings during this. Sappy nostalgia at the beginning, annoyance at the droning, run-on exposition (seriously, that one where they're laying their case and hammering point after point after point after point was just awful), dismay at how poorly Duchovny delivered just about every line, and finally grudging excitement at how the following episodes should play out. But damn, that was a rough ride.

I'm really worried how this show will grab people who weren't fans to begin with after that episode. If I had no clue who any of these people were I'd have found precious little to make me want to return.

A million hosannas for Mulder cleaning himself up. Duchovny doesn't wear haggard well.

I assume trying to make Gillian Anderson haggard would just end up at slightly less luminous.

Yep. That was an episode of The X-Files for good and bad. Lord knows how long it's been since I've seen Mulder hang up on Scully after saying some ridiculous stuff and watching Scully say to no one "Mulder, what do you mean? Mulder, where are you? Mulder, what are you going to do?" At that point I truly knew the X-Files were back.

Episode 2 was much much better, not perfect but definitely has me more excited for the rest.

breander wrote:

Episode 2 was much much better, not perfect but definitely has me more excited for the rest.

Spoiler:

Mulder with William watching 2001: A Space Odyssey hit right in the manly geek feels.

Edit: Thread now with hero image, which I would have put up sooner if I remembered I started this.

I liked it. Even if it's average X-Files at best, it's something more improbable than the existence of aliens and a vast government conspiracy to cover-up same: it's the X-Files, name-checking Snowden, Obamacare, and "cannot unsee".

My only criticism of episode two is how quickly Scully got on-board. No no no, the first 41 minutes of any episode should be only Mulder making the improbable (but inevitably correct) leaps, while Scully says incredulously, "Mulder, you're suggesting..."

It might just be nostalgia, but I'm enjoying it. I lost interest after Duchovny left and never did see the last season.

Also, XCOM2 advertising was appropriate.

Only watched the first episode but I really liked it.

SpacePPoliceman wrote:

A million hosannas for Mulder cleaning himself up. Duchovny doesn't wear haggard well.

You ain't kidding. I really felt like I was watching an offshoot of Calinfornication in the first episode sometimes.

This one was better. Not excellent, but not crappy. And a MotW episode next week?! Yeah, that's the X-Files I know.

I've not watched Episode Two yet, but is Mulder still jowly?

I just realized that the episode that I watched Monday, which I read somewhere was a rebroadcast of Episode 1, was actually Episode 2. IMAGE(http://www.skype-emoticons.com/images/emoticon-00124-worried.png)

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