Anxiety -- How do you deal?

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I've searched for an existing thread on this topic, but couldn't find one, so if there is one already lurking out there somewhere, please forgive! I've seen a few posts on anxiety along with depression on the depression thread, but since I'm not currently experiencing depression, I didn't want to post there and derail anything.

Anyway, I don't have an anxiety disorder per se, or at least I don't think I do, but I also don't think my levels of anxiety are exactly normal. For a long time I didn't think it was abnormal since I'm always reading things about how people in the west are stressed out and so I just figured everyone was feeling the same as me, but as I've been reading about the topic on the internet, it sounds like most people really only experience situational anxiety, like if they have a speech to make or an exam the next day.

That's not me. I don't have trouble sleeping, but when I wake up, I am immediately flooded with at least one or more anxious thoughts and that just sets the tone for the rest of the day, and it will go on for hours about all sorts of things. Not only am I anxious about the bazillion things I need to do around the house, classes in school, calling on the phone to get things sorted out, but I'll also have any number of "what if" scenarios turning around and around in my head concerning future worries. Such as, "What if I can't find a job after I graduate, particularly as a 40+ person?" and "What if I lose my home because I got sick and couldn't pay medical bills and/or the tax/insurance and end up homeless and on the street?" Then I'll spend about an hour or two looking up something like "surviving homelessness" online and reading forums and such about it just in case it ever happens to me. Or I'll think of family members dying.

It doesn't seem to matter how illogical some of these things are. I'll find myself worrying about them anyway. Currently, I'm anxious about having to call the insurance company to get my school insurance worked out for next semester and calling to withdraw money from my IRA for school tuition...I'm stressed that they'll argue with me about it. I know that whenever I finally brace myself and actually do it, it will be nothing, but I have to spend hours/days working myself up to actually doing it.

I've gotten the idea of maybe writing down every little thing that causes me negative stress and anxiety and then clearing them one by one like "things to do" checklist. I suspect that maybe I get so anxious about some of the smaller things because I'm just overwhelmed by everything in general, so maybe if I somehow actually get a lot of these things off my plate, I will be better at handling the other stuff, and be more capable of sticking with healthy eating and exercise plans...which also happen to cause me a lot of guilt as well as anxiety.

I'm definitely a lot happier than I was last year when I was also dealing with situational depression from a job that I hated. Went to a psychologist for a few months during all of that and the depression is gone now that that job is out of my life, but the anxiety issues really haven't diminished (other than the job-specific ones.)

When I try to determine if I have an actual anxiety disorder, I don't seem to have enough symptoms, or strong enough symptoms. Due to my very strong sense of responsibility, I generally do get things done eventually even if they are things that initially cause me a lot of fear. I don't have panic attacks. I'm able to sleep very well at night even if I wake up anxious.

Is anyone else dealing with stuff like this? Has anyone been able to successfully get past it? Or is this just normal levels that everyone is going through but rarely ever talks about?

I have trouble with this too.

While I am not by any means 'cured,' a couple of things help me.

Exercise seems to keep me from having the panicky feelings. It is almost like by releasing the adrenaline I've built up worrying, I'm able to worry a bit less. Trouble for me is actually doing it, lol.

The other thing is that I try really hard to live in the moment. I stop and think about all the good things that are happening RIGHT NOW. Like, I'm warm, I'm full, the sun is pretty, my chair is comfortable, nothing in my body hurts, etc.

I focus on the good in the moment. The rest of my life...past and future, might be falling apart, but at this moment, I am good. I do that whenever I'm overwhelmed with anxious thoughts. I think about the gift of the ordinary and try to take pleasure in ordinary days and ordinary things. Today was good because it was ordinary.

Anyway, I'm sure there is some science behind it. I think it is called conscious living or living in the moment, but I'm no expert on it. I do find it helps with anxiety.

I still can't find anything that helps the panic I get when it comes time to fall asleep. I swear I have a phobia about sleeping. I fall asleep, and my body wakes me up in a panic, as if to say, 'how could you let that happen!!!'

Tagging for future whatever.

For me anxiety usually drives depression, so I think this is a more fundamental issue for me than being depressed. I know mine also correlates to the adrenaline thing that peacensunshine talked about, because I can't really generate adrenaline normally anymore (long story sprinkled through the depression thread) and I am super-zen compared to how I used to be.

peacensunshine wrote:

I still can't find anything that helps the panic I get when it comes time to fall asleep. I swear I have a phobia about sleeping. I fall asleep, and my body wakes me up in a panic, as if to say, 'how could you let that happen!!!'

I used to have this problem. Back in the day, there were even a couple times Edwin had checked on me while I was sleeping, and I woke fully from a sound sleep and looked at him in the doorway, like "what do you want?" No noise, he was just standing there. And I would always wake up like you described, even when it was my normal time to get up. That's just how I did it.

Now that I'm chemically broken I actually behave more "normally" because I can't generate enough cortisol to be hypervigilant all the time.

bekkilyn, I would say that sounds "normal" to me which is usually a red flag for "not normal"

For me it turned out to be OCD tendencies driving the anxiety, and then situational stuff stacking on top of it.

First, yeah this would be absolutely fine in the other thread, not a derailment at all. Plus, like you mentioned, there are many sufferers of anxiety posting there.

Your condition is treatable. You should visit a doctor and if anxiety is your only problem, well, there are lots of medications available and one of them should work great for you.

I'm really lucky I don't have depression. I tend to stay pretty positive and still enjoy things at a normal level.

For me, it is just that whole panic/spinning thoughts/inability to concentrate thing. A lot of it revolved around work and social anxiety. I feel a lot better working from home, but I sometimes worry I'm just catering to my anxieties by avoiding people, making it worse.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this bekkilyn. Anxiety is no f*cking fun. Peaceensunshine has a great suggestion, to live in the moment, because it helps fight off the crippling "what ifs" that anxiety can feed upon.

What worked for me when my depression and anxiety were at their worst -- besides an excellent therapist, which is always a good idea -- was constant and consistent self-talk. The biggest enemy of anxiety is factual, concrete knowledge. Minus that, questions also work to stem the tide.

When I was at my lowest point, I was dating a wonderful woman, but because of my anxiety, it led to all kinds of self doubt issues. For example, "She didn't call me tonight, what if she doesn't love me anymore?"

I'd ask back, "That's silly. Do you have any proof of this?"

And the anxiety had no answer, and for that moment, it lessened.

The downsides to this are that it's fairly exhausting, and also won't work for everyone, but it worked wonderfully for me, so I highly recommend it (along, again, with the therapist).

Even after massive breakthroughs in therapy many years ago, wherein the depression is gone but a sliver of the anxiety still and will always remain, self-talk is my saving grace.

Veloxi

It sounds like you were, perhaps inadvertently, doing a form of mental CBT. Writing down assumptions and then comparing them to facts and seeing the outcome.

Cool, what's CBT?

Cognitive-behavioral therapy. It's the shiz.

IMAGE(http://www.rehabguide.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/cbt-triangle.jpg)

Probably Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a very useful and potent tool indeed.
edit: clover-hausered

Ohhhh, that's pretty awesome!

I don't know if I'm at clinical levels of anxiety, but I definitely run pretty hot and I can relate to some of the feelings described here. I still find myself worrying so much about things, especially work/social things, that I freeze up out of fear. I know that's a different sort of sensation, but I'm trying to empathize here. I will definitely throw my +1 to "coming back to the present moment", I'm still trying to learn it myself, but when you realize that the present moment is the only thing you really have control over, and you accept that, everything else that's stressing you out fades into the background. I've also been trying to practice the serenity prayer, that thing they use in 12-step recovery programs, even though I'm not a religious person or a recovering addict the message is really great: "...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." For me, the first one is the hardest, I get all caught up in the ills of the world and get all negative, but when you accept that 99.999999% of things are out of your control, it fades into the background (not trying to suggest that people don't try to make a big impact, that sort of falls under the later two traits, courage to change what you can and the wisdom to know the difference).

More than anything, my dad (who I believe has been diagnosed with generalized anxiety and takes medication for it) has a mantra he lives by, and he's passed it along to me, and you see me say it all over these here forums when I start flying off the handle: one thing at a time. If things feel too big, and they're weighing you down so badly you can't seem to function, come back to the present, and find one thing, one thing to focus on. My dad would tell me, "Take it one day at a time. If you can't take it a day at a time, take it a half-day at a time, an hour at a time, a minute at a time, whatever unit you can stomach, one moment at a time." He once sent me a link about how the "one thing" philosophy helped people lose weight: instead of trying to overhaul their lifestyles with a bunch of changes at once, getting overwhelmed and giving up, they made one healthy change and stuck with it, something like exercising daily or cutting out the junk food. It worked amazingly well. I know personally that my brain is wired to focus very deeply, so the "one thing" philosophy works very well for me. YMMV, but I wanted to share my experience in case it helps other people.

krev82 wrote:

Probably Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a very useful and potent tool indeed.
edit: clover-hausered

It's not for everyone. Talk to a professional about it if you want to go further, imo.

I've mentioned it before, I've found this book to be helpful http://www.amazon.com/The-Antidote-H...

There's an author's talk in part promoting it that stands well on its own here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osJ-...

This in combination with Shawn Andrich's other podcast which, I assume in some monument to impermanence, he took down. I think it might be re-hosted somewhere, you'd have to get in touch with him to find out.

You should probably take all of my advice with a large grain of salt though, because after everything I've done this year, I still find myself pretty anxious. The 'being in the moment' thing that others have mentioned also helps.

Bubs14 wrote:

More than anything, my dad (who I believe has been diagnosed with generalized anxiety and takes medication for it) has a mantra he lives by, and he's passed it along to me, and you see me say it all over these here forums when I start flying off the handle: one thing at a time.

This is wonderful, and I'm so glad to hear it works for you. I TRY to do this my own self, but with my general low level of patience and lack of focus (ADHD YEAH!), it's not easy.

Oh hey anxiety thread

I've had issues with anxiety... probably all my life. It's extremely common for me to be nauseous, shaky, tense, dizzy etc. probably for around half of each day, which sucks. I also get blinding headaches from shoulder tension that flares up when I'm especially flipping out about something, probably around once a week.

The things I am anxious range from somewhat normalish things (doing poorly at work, car accidents, getting cancer) to things that would probably be considered weirder (nuclear war, recurrent thoughts about things around me filling up with spiders... seriously). A lot of times this manifests itself in weird ways, like days where I can't touch certain body parts because my brain is convinced that I'll somehow get cancer there. Yes, I realize how totally insane that sounds, and what's worse is that knowing it is crazy and irrational doesn't make it go away as it should.

Being extremely unwilling to shake hands, touch any door handles of any kind or touch any person other than my boyfriend can cause issues too. I go through a lot of hand sanitizer basically.

I got diagnosed with anxiety in general and OCD and social anxiety a while back, but I ended up really disliking the therapist in the end so I'm not super confident in his diagnosis. He was a CBT guy and was extremely condescending which set me on edge and prevented me from getting any real help from him. Probably my fault, but what can you do? I've thought a lot about going to another therapist but, unsurprisingly, I've been too anxious about it to act on it. Plus the parts of my brain that are convinced that I don't actually have a problem and shouldn't need any help for it.

I've been doing a better job of coping lately, but unfortunately this involves indulging some of my worse habits like typing out lists for at least an hour a day. As another "counselor" I saw less-than-helpfully pointed out, typing lists is better than more destructive behaviors like abusing alcohol, but it's still kind of less than ideal. I also ridgidly structure things like the order in which I play video games, how I play them, what music I am allowed to listen to, and the like, which I find comforting, but sometimes gets in the way of things I like to do.

Sorry for ramble post!

Bekkilyn, you seem to be describing a situation--let's call it a "disorder," since you note not everyone is like this--in which you obsessively worry about stuff. Even when it's illogical, even when you don't want to; it's like a compulsion.

So let's give it a name, like the Disorder Of Compulsively Obsessing About Stuff. If you talk with a therapist, they might have ideas as to what techniques or medication might ease your DOCOAS.

Exercises might help you identify the unhelpful thoughts, like trains pulling into your mental station. You might then be able to just let them pass on by, like trains headed to Cleveland you don't want to board. Medication can, at its best, act as a big switching yard that detours those thoughts to Cleveland before they even approach the station.

First step is seeing if you have access to an EAP or similar beast. Mine helped with that, "Oh god, what if I end up homeless?" issue.

Demyx wrote:

I got diagnosed with anxiety in general and OCD and social anxiety a while back, but I ended up really disliking the therapist in the end so I'm not super confident in his diagnosis. He was a CBT guy and was extremely condescending which set me on edge and prevented me from getting any real help from him. Probably my fault, but what can you do? I've thought a lot about going to another therapist but, unsurprisingly, I've been too anxious about it to act on it. Plus the parts of my brain that are convinced that I don't actually have a problem and shouldn't need any help for it.

"Probably my fault"

Probably not.

Therapists are people too and sometimes they can (a) be burnt out and/or (b) assholes.

The vicious cycle that is anxiety and seeking treatment was hilarious to me when I was neck deep in trouble. I have a psych degree, I have training in counseling, and even I wouldn't seek help because I was afraid of flipping out when I was there. Of course you first have to get out the door of the house (not gonna happen) before you even get to the doctor's office. Then the waiting room! What if I flip out while in the waiting room and someone sees me??!?!? Etc.

Much easier to stay home. I'm sure this all will pass on its own. I can fix me! Eventually. If I wait long enough I'll go back to how I was before this. I'll be fine. Just don't call me in the meantime. My phone ringing scares me. I'm out of excuses! I can't come see you because ... umm, yup, see ya. Oh gawd, someone get me a drink. Who cares if I'll wake up tomorrow with a panic attack, I'll be anxiety free for a few hours.

Wait, there was a seeking help part somewhere in there. But I'd have to leave the house.

And so on.

I'm afraid of not having anxiety, actually, if that makes any sense.

Basically "what if I reduce my anxiety levels, and therefore I don't care about something important sufficiently or not careful enough, and I hurt myself or someone I care about?!"

Demyx wrote:

I'm afraid of not having anxiety, actually, if that makes any sense.

Basically "what if I reduce my anxiety levels, and therefore I don't care about something important sufficiently or not careful enough, and I hurt myself or someone I care about?!"

Sounds like you and my gf could have very long conversations.

For instance, she's so worried something will happen to her son that she struggles to give him space and do things like play out back on his own. When she can't see him through the window she'll obsess over the things that could've happened to him or could happen to him if those other things have already happened. So then she goes outside and he no longer has his space and independence to play.

She beats down one demon (him not being in her immediate control/sphere of safety) to have another one pop up (worrying).

Demyx wrote:

I'm afraid of not having anxiety, actually, if that makes any sense.

Basically "what if I reduce my anxiety levels, and therefore I don't care about something important sufficiently or not careful enough, and I hurt myself or someone I care about?!"

I was worried about this too at first. This was reinforced by one of the early medications I tried which actually DID reduce my level of caring to "not giving a f*ck".

That being said, I can tell you from personal experience, lessening anxiety to much more manageable levels doesn't reduce the amount you care about things you're passionate about, or love, but it WILL reduce...not the amount you care really, but the amount you let things that shouldn't affect you affect you in the first place.

It's totally normal to be afraid of the unknown, of change. I was f*ckING TERRIFIED of it my own self. I wish I could tell you to embrace it, but if you do, it'll be on your own terms.

I dont really have anything to add to the above stuff other than 'me too'.

If you're okay with chemical help, try getting a prescription for Klonopin (generically Clonozepam). It's a much milder version of Xanax.

I take it for social anxiety - if I have to go out and do something most of the time I just can't get myself to go due to anticipatory anxiety. If I remember to take one of these 1/2 an hr or so beforehand, I can at least make it out the door and not have constant stomach butterflies the whole way.

YMMV.

Due to the known/listed side effects and addiction properties I tend to stay away from it or use very sparingly, although I am assured by my shrink & therapist its not as bad as I think.

Klonipin saved me.

It also took me years to get off the stuff.

garion333 wrote:

Klonipin saved me.

It also took me years to get off the stuff.

Yikes.

Welp, like I said, I only rarely use it. Ive had the same prescription bottle for 30 for about 6 months now, which says how often I use it...

I've been diagnosed with depression for going on 8 years after suffering through PTSD. I used to have a lot of anxiety to the point where I needed medical procedures / injections.

I accepted the depression as a part of who I am and stopped trying to fight it. The anxiety went down with the increase to self-confidence in not thinking that my way of life is wrong in any sense. I make bad decisions along with the good ones and that is just life. Soul Searching was a benefit of the condition that I focused a lot of time on.

My Mantras:

1. If you have a problem and cannot fix it, why worry about it? There's nothing you can do. If you have a problem and there's a solution, why worry about it? You already know there's a solution.

2. Everyone f*cks up. I've f*cked up in the past and I will again. I will always make my decisions with my heart in the right place though so I cannot ever say I didn't have the best intentions or tried.

3. Is there really nothing better in life than you can focus on than a bad thought? Life is short enough. Do you want to find yourself dying and your last thought to be something stupid or silly? Brainpower is better used on other things than worrying about the hypothetical that may or may not come to pass. I want my last thoughts to be about my loved ones, so that's who I focus on and how I can better their experience.

4. I will always strive to lower entropy. I will increase love (which is simple) and decrease chaos. Love and trust alleviates concerns. Hatred and chaos produce mistrust and conflict.

I'm really glad this has been posted. Thank you for doing so!

For a long time, I wanted to put a label around what was "wrong" with me. In some aspects, there is really nothing wrong! Judging from the responses I see here, we are all just basic humans with the same worries that everyone else has. Of course, there are some cases that are more extreme than others.

Point is, it's good to know that I'm not alone in the anxiety that occurs in my life.

A couple of thigs that I found helpful:

- Find professional help. I saw someone for about two years and it helped a tremendous amount.

- At the very least, find a way to express or burn off the anxiety. Exercise, write, talk, dance, scream... Whatever. Release is catharsis. Bottling it up is the hardest thing to fight but is also the biggest release once you find your outlet.

- Practice mindfulness. There are stages of this that you can dive into. Simple mindfulness can be stopping for 5 minutes at some time to just calm your mind. This can progress into full blown Zen practice if you want.

If you want to really see how this can work, go watch "The Dhamma Brothers"... It's about a group that takes prisoners and put them through a Vipassana program. You can't even imagine the results.

I'll reiterate, it's a great thing to read what others have to say here and to know I'm not alone in feeling like I do sometimes.

Very often, the hardest part is just asking for or finding help.

Keep this thread and the discussion going.

My wife takes meds to deal with anxiety and depression. She came off of it when we lived in Phoenix and I couldn't tell much of a difference. She got more weepy than was normal. Once we both lost our jobs she got back on it and has been since 2008. I would suggest trying meds.

My anxiety involves being social. To cope I just avoid most things social.

If you've got symptoms like Beckilyn and others in the thread have described - hyperalertness, perseveration (the "cycling thoughts"), panic attacks, insomnia, ritual or repetitive behaviors, do yourself a favor and go see a psychiatrist. In one or two appointments, you can get a diagnosis and figure out what treatment to try first - talk therapy, CBT, drugs, accupuncture, exercise/food, meditation, whatever. Think of the psychiatrist as a sort of guide to the world of treatment. They are the highest trained of the various neuro-therapeutic types and a good one will be open-minded and willing to pay attention to what you are comfortable with.

That said, don't assume you'll end up with any particular treatment. In particular, there are several generations of anti-anxiety drugs, and a responsible psychiatrist will look at the cheaper meds first in low side effect doses before going up to the latest stuff. I take a very small dose of an anti-anxiety med (I'm blessed with a sensitivity to that class of drugs, they work *really* well for me) and it's like $5 a month on my prescription plan.

Don't worry that the drugs will turn you into a zombie. That's 1980's drug tech. The current ones just "take the edge off" - you can still worry and care about things, you just won't do it to excess. You can even find yourself still raging at things or having a few bad days in a row. You won't be a zombie, you'll be like you are on a "good day", but nearly all the time. It's incredible. Liberating. It will do you good physically to lose the constant adrenaline rush; turns out that is a side effect of anxiety that is far more dangerous than people think.

Talk to a good psychiatrist. Your GP can recommend one, they usually have friends who are doctors. It's a life-transforming decision.

I really like the "mindfulness" and "in the moment" approach and feel that if I can get myself to think more and more along those lines, I would indeed be able to reduce many of these anxious feelings. The actual practice is a lot harder than talking or reading about it though! I have sort of been putting it into practice with smaller things like my game and book backlogs, as in I'm only going to focus on this one game and not worry about all the others that are piled up, and it's been working very well in helping me keep my focus and become more "productive" in that one small area.

One of the above posts mentioned anxiety over the phone ringing. My heart would pound for minutes after a phone ring, so I ended up turning my ringer completely off on my home phone and had it go directly over to voice mail and I get an email notification whenever there has been a call. (Which still causes me some anxiety, but not moments of fight vs. flight like the ringer.) It irritates my family to some degree since they have to leave a message to talk to me even if I'm home, but I just couldn't deal with the phone ringing. My mobile pre-paid phone is always off unless I have to use it for an emergency. It's call-out only.

The idea of meds (*any* meds) also causes me anxiety. I can't help but look up and read about all the side effects and then will imagine myself into any number of deadly scenarios. One of the very rare panic attacks I've had happened because of this. It doesn't help that there are some medications I'm actually allergic to that have caused serious physical reactions, so I do have some basis for my fear of medications. I was prescribed an acne medication once in my early 20's by a dermatologist and after a few weeks, I broke out in a serious rash all over my body, including the palms of my hands and soles of my feet, and my face turned a bright red lobster color and *cracked*. I had to be rushed to the doctor that morning once other people saw what was happening to me. On a good note, I never had any acne after that event, but definitely a very scary and unintended way of getting rid of it!

I'm hoping too that being able to talk about the anxiety problems and hearing from others on this topic also might be helpful. I have a very dominant personality and I think it literally bothers people to hear me trying to talk about it in real life. They'll have no trouble pouring out any issues that they might have, but will get severely uncomfortable if I try to mention any of mine. It's as if they don't want me to have any problems, so they pretend that I don't and don't want me to break that bubble...or something like that. This personality also discourages me from seeking help in general because I've already convinced myself more often than not that I don't need it and I should be perfectly capable of handling everything myself.

I still haven't called the places that I mentioned in my first post. I'd meant to do it today...or at least told myself that I would be doing it today...but ended up taking a very nice nap in order to avoid it. I'm hoping that by knowing that tomorrow is friday and will be my only chance of calling before monday will spur me into taking action, as in one fear overcoming the other.

So many people have posted really helpful advice already. I just want to chime in briefly, about meditation vs. medication. I do both. You may see some immediate effects from them, but it will take an SSRI 4-6 weeks to be completely effective, and mindfulness will take longer. I have meditated off and on for about 8 years now, and I've been doing it consistently for about a year now (I've fallen off the wagon a few times, haha). I do see definite improvements from meditation over that year, but I also know that it is a long journey that requires consistent practice.

Some things that get in the way of me letting go of anxiety:
my perfectionism
my tendency to see everything bad as my fault and responsibility
my desire to predict the outcome of things I have no control over

I have to accept my tendency towards all these while resisting the urge to be persuaded by such unproductive habits. That's in particular where mindfulness helps. And the medication contributes by reducing physical symptoms.

Other things I do that are very helpful include regular exercise, limiting caffeine and alcohol, getting enough sleep, and seeing a therapist every 4-6 weeks. The amount of stress you have in your life will very likely influence how much you need to do to manage your anxiety. I am highly functional, according to my therapist, so for me it's really mostly a matter of monitoring and adjusting. But where I am in my life has required me to do more than I needed to a few years ago, so I have had to increase the (still low) level of anti-anxiety meds I take, as well as make sure I meditate regularly.

Taking the first step is very difficult but doable. Don't feel alone or weak - so many others have or are going through what you are now.

So, Bekkilyn, a good psychiatrist will take your worries about meds into account. The point is, you're going to be better off consulting an expert than trying to handle it yourself.

You'll be shocked at how much the proper treatment can help.

I didn't have much luck with therapy/psychiatrist. The meds made me feel not like me. Sure, I could focus better and was less anxious, but it felt unfamiliar.

I kind of get what Demyx was saying about being anxious about not being anxious.

For me, while still not perfect and it is always a work in progress, I try to structure my life to fit my natural tendencies rather than to change me to fit my environment. I try to make my environment as anxiety reducing as possible.

Sometimes this means I spend more time alone than I probably should. Social anxiety is a whole issue on its own with me. I really dread hanging out with people. Once I am there, I am fine, but I spend the entire time convinced I will behave inappropriately and that everyone will hate me and never want me around again.

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