Tell us your best dad jokes!

tanstaafl wrote:

If you ask Rick Astley to borrow his copy of the movie "Up", he can't because he will Never Give You Up. But, if he doesn't, he will Let You Down. This is known as the Astley Paradox

He'll Never Give You Up, but maybe he'll lend you Up if you ask nicely.

tanstaafl wrote:

If you ask Rick Astley to borrow his copy of the movie "Up", he can't because he will Never Give You Up. But, if he doesn't, he will Let You Down. This is known as the Astley Paradox

Did you know that Astley once opened for 311, but it was in his contract that they not play the #1 single from their 1995 self-titled album?

Blues Traveler was on that same tour. They invited Astley to sing vocals on their 1994 hit single, but he declined. He cooked them a nice dinner to apologize, but refused to serve them any sweets after the meal.

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/xDWZHVY.jpg)

Told to me today by my 11 year old:
"Why was the computer late to work?"

Spoiler:

Because he had a hard drive.

How did the computer get a faster commute?

Spoiler:

It switched to a flash drive!

"I'd like to speak to the manager!"

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/rGYhlxK.png)

(Works best if you are within line of sight to a cemetery) You know why they put fences up around cemetery's?

Spoiler:

Because people are dying to get in

Why is dark spelled with a K instead of a C?

Spoiler:

Because you can’t C in the dark!

Doctor: This test tells us your DNA is backwards.

Patient: And?

Sorry if this one's been done before...

How do you make a tissue dance?

Spoiler:

You put a little boogie in it

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/qrKgNoD.jpeg)

Why does the Joker sleep with the lights on?

He's afraid of the Dark Knight.

I hate Orion’s Belt. It’s a huge waste of space.

UpToIsomorphism wrote:

I hate Orion’s Belt. It’s a huge waste of space.

A huge waist of space?

UpToIsomorphism wrote:

I hate Orion’s Belt. It’s a huge waste of space.

Yeah. 3 stars.

Hrdina wrote:
UpToIsomorphism wrote:

I hate Orion’s Belt. It’s a huge waste of space.

A huge waist of space?

Inappropriate "your mom" joke.

Mixolyde wrote:
Hrdina wrote:
UpToIsomorphism wrote:

I hate Orion’s Belt. It’s a huge waste of space.

A huge waist of space?

Inappropriate "your mom" joke.

Your mom’s inappropriate...

The Your Mama thread is somewhere else.