verb (used with object), julienned, julienning.
to cut (something, especially a vegetable) into thin strips or small, matchlike pieces:
Well that's too sophisticated a pun, and thus probably doesn't meet the dad joke standards.
"Keep on chopping veggies!" - Julienne Moore
She's quite the cut-up, isn't she?
tanstaafl wrote:verb (used with object), julienned, julienning.
to cut (something, especially a vegetable) into thin strips or small, matchlike pieces:Well that's too sophisticated a pun, and thus probably doesn't meet the dad joke standards.
I suspect many Dad jokes can be made from that concept, however - the replay mileage on such a concept will be very high for many Dads!
T-Prime wrote:"Keep on chopping veggies!" - Julienne Moore
She's quite the cut-up, isn't she?
Cut it out with the Julienne jokes already guys.
Too edgy for you?
They just can't hack it.
My patience with these jokes is getting thin.
My patience with these jokes is getting thin.
Come now. Don't mince words.
danopian wrote:My patience with these jokes is getting thin.
Come now. Don't mince words.
I like the cut of your jib, Harpo. I'll come straight to the point. I find the edge of these Julienne jokes to be blunted.
Is there even a sliver of sanity left in this thread?
Is there even a sliver of sanity left in this thread?
If so it is hanging on by shoestring.
Any way you slice it, this thread is on it's last legs.
Tanglebones wrote:A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.
I've pulled this joke off before, but the key is to elaborate on every single detail to draw it out as long as possible. I got a solid 10 minutes of story in before getting to the punchline, and a solid 10 minutes of being banished to the couch by my wife.
THE ARISTOCRATS!
How do wrists travel to work? Through the carpal tunnel!
Bahaha!
My friend came up with this one: How do your wrists get to work? Through the Carpal tunnel!
You skimmed your own post! Surely that's a first? 
Is... that a meta dad joke?
Oh, here's one that always cracks me up:
While driving, ask "How does the chicken go?" then tap the brakes on and off.
Oh, here's one that always cracks me up:
While driving, ask "How does the chicken go?" then tap the brakes on and off.
Just make sure you say you meant to do that when someone rear ends you. 
You skimmed your own post! Surely that's a first? ;)
Okay, in my defense I forgot I did that on Tuesday, I was in the hospital for about seven hours, I thought it was a dream where I posted that. XD
What if you're still dreaming?
Oh, here's one that always cracks me up:
While driving, ask "How does the chicken go?" then tap the brakes on and off.
Oh, here's one that always cracks me up:
While driving, ask "How does the chicken go?" then tap the brakes on and off.
...I don't get it
Not quite a dad joke but I had my gaming group throw things at me after this one.
The party arrives in a town. The town is famous for a hermit who lives there who has the extremely uncommon gift of being able to communicate with the dead. This has affected him and he oddly lives at the bottom of a deep shaft in the center of town. But, people still come to the town from far away to visit the rare medium well.
LiquidMantis wrote:Oh, here's one that always cracks me up:
While driving, ask "How does the chicken go?" then tap the brakes on and off.
...I don't get it
This thread continues to bring the grins...and the facepalms.
Not so much an egad-bad-dad joke, but it does involve parents:
Guy and gal move in together; "just friends". Mom does not approve. Mom comes to visit for a couple days and leaves. A few days later, gal says, "Hey Guy, I hate to accuse, but I can't find the fancy silver ladle. You don't think your mom took it, do you?" Guy says, "I can't imagine Mom doing such a thing, but I'll check with her." Guy writes to Mom, "Not saying you took it, but we can't find the fancy silver ladle. Do you know anything about it?" Mom replies, "Odd that you can't find it. It should be right where I left it: in Gal's bed."
Okay, dad joke time:
Q: What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A: A pouch potato.
EDIT: Oh, heard this one from David Sedaris (the joke is much better spoken than read):
Q: What does a Mexican use to cut his pizza?
A: Leetle Sceessors
Why are small asteroids that fall to earth so much tastier than bigger asteroids?
Because they're a little meteor!
Why didn't the refrigerated pickle get worked up about anything?
Because it was a cool cucumber.
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