Tell us your best dad jokes!

tanstaafl wrote:

Ah, Synonym Rolls. Just like Grammar used to bake.

(These heathens rarely recognize quality. That was fantastic. *thumbsup*)

doubtingthomas396 wrote:
tanstaafl wrote:
tuffalobuffalo wrote:
doubtingthomas396 wrote:
Alz wrote:

Someone killed the Thanksgiving Turkey!

I suspect it was ... fowl play.

That joke has me feeling down.

You can tell it was made by a feather.

That was a fowl pun.

Luckily you were able to pullet off.

I would have been too chicken.

Oh, I'm sure you'd come through in a finch.

I could just gobble up all these puns.

Eldon_of_Azure wrote:
doubtingthomas396 wrote:
tanstaafl wrote:
tuffalobuffalo wrote:
doubtingthomas396 wrote:
Alz wrote:

Someone killed the Thanksgiving Turkey!

I suspect it was ... fowl play.

That joke has me feeling down.

You can tell it was made by a feather.

That was a fowl pun.

Luckily you were able to pullet off.

I would have been too chicken.

Oh, I'm sure you'd come through in a finch.

I could just gobble up all these puns.

Toucan play at this game.

Mixolyde wrote:

Toucan play at this game.

Sparrow me the puns!

So, we're supposed to just jump in, and parrot what everyone else is doing?

Malor wrote:

So, we're supposed to just jump in, and parrot what everyone else is doing?

That question is a (th)ornithological side of my brain

I think this gif fits here:

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/HoWVvPF.gif)

IMAGE(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2014-06/17/5/enhanced/webdr08/enhanced-6879-1402998736-9.jpg?no-auto)

I want to open an all-you-can-eat Dumpling restaurant. I'm going to call it "Wonton Gluttony"

Alz wrote:

I want to open an all-you-can-eat Dumpling restaurant. I'm going to call it "Wonton Gluttony"

My father used to joke that he wanted to start a garden center named "The Marquis De Sod."

doubtingthomas396 wrote:
Alz wrote:

I want to open an all-you-can-eat Dumpling restaurant. I'm going to call it "Wonton Gluttony"

My father used to joke that he wanted to start a garden center named "The Marquis De Sod."

It seems to be a name used by landscapers. I bet they have all the best equipment.

Some clever writer also used it in an article he wrote about a guy who builds golf courses.

Hrdina wrote:
doubtingthomas396 wrote:
Alz wrote:

I want to open an all-you-can-eat Dumpling restaurant. I'm going to call it "Wonton Gluttony"

My father used to joke that he wanted to start a garden center named "The Marquis De Sod."

It seems to be a name used by landscapers. I bet they have all the best equipment.

Some clever writer also used it in an article he wrote about a guy who builds golf courses.

Do they offer Fifty Shades of Hay?

IMAGE(https://img.ifcdn.com/images/18be9bb627d2f416efe02bec59ca34d9fd75c4df7e056d98aa7ea63a924f7d92_1.jpg)

Came here to post that hank green video. Appropriate that it was posted on page 41 of the thread.

I, for one, find that amusing.

Overheard this at the airport today (feel like this might be a rerun):

I've visited Death Valley. It's the low point of my life so far.

I finally got around to having a Twitter account. I use it exclusively to tweet Dad jokes a few times per day, and to plug my podcast.

Check me out @DoubtingTGWJ

Did you hear about the Orange who became a preacher? While most appreciated his short, concise sermons, a few did find him too pithy for their tastes.

Alz wrote:

Did you hear about the Orange who became a preacher? While most appreciated his short, concise sermons, a few did find him too pithy for their tastes.

I heard he spent too much time navel gazing.

doubtingthomas396 wrote:
Alz wrote:

Did you hear about the Orange who became a preacher? While most appreciated his short, concise sermons, a few did find him too pithy for their tastes.

I heard he spent too much time navel gazing.

He also had a short rap career, but he couldn't find anyone who would rhyme with him.

Alz wrote:
doubtingthomas396 wrote:
Alz wrote:

Did you hear about the Orange who became a preacher? While most appreciated his short, concise sermons, a few did find him too pithy for their tastes.

I heard he spent too much time navel gazing.

He also had a short rap career, but he couldn't find anyone who would rhyme with him.

IMAGE(https://www.cs.hmc.edu/~gmulert/Memories.jpg)

gmulert wrote:

IMAGE(https://www.cs.hmc.edu/~gmulert/Memories.jpg)

No filing system needed as they would be randomly accessed.

IMAGE(http://img.diply.com/article-images/a/d78caff6-a63f-4572-8451-cae85e869743.jpg)

tanstaafl wrote:

IMAGE(http://img.diply.com/article-images/a/d78caff6-a63f-4572-8451-cae85e869743.jpg)

That dog looks like it knows it's party to a dad joke.

tanstaafl wrote:

IMAGE(http://img.diply.com/article-images/a/d78caff6-a63f-4572-8451-cae85e869743.jpg)

Totes adorbs tote!

tanstaafl wrote:

IMAGE(http://img.diply.com/article-images/a/d78caff6-a63f-4572-8451-cae85e869743.jpg)

I honestly thought, for a moment, that they were reaaalllllyyy high up and the dog was being held over a ledge or something.