Three men walk into a bar.
... The fourth man ducks ...
Double post! Guess I need a new joke.
What were Davy Crockett's last words to his waiter?
Remember the A la mode!
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
When my kids were younger and they would have friends come over to swim, I would greet them with "Hope you enjoy our ool. As you can see, there is no P in it. Please keep it that way."
Posted in the empty thread due to how I read the forum (Recent Posts)
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
They'll likely answer "Arrrrrr"
Nay! Their first love be the c!
If they answer "the C" i guess say "Aye, but ye keel-hauled my joke"
Why do cows make great scientists?
They're always out standing in their field.
What do you call two ghosts in bee costumes?
Boo bees
Duck goes in the store and asks for some chapstick. Tells the cashier, "just put it on my bill."
My butcher is always telling me jokes. They are the wurst.
Unfortunately he has my email and keeps sending me links.
Dirty joke:
What's the difference between a nun and a lady in the bathtub?
One has hope in her soul
Double post! Guess I need a new joke.
What were Davy Crockett's last words to his waiter?
Remember the A la mode!
How many ears did Davy Crocket have? Two?
Incorrect.
He had his left ear, his right ear, and the wild frontier!
Nerdy Varient:
How many ears did Cpt Kirk have? Two?
Incorrect.
He had his left ear, his right ear, and space: the final frontier!
Dirty joke:
What's the difference between a nun and a lady in the bathtub?
Spoiler:One has hope in her soul
*like* 
Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten... ten tickles.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten... ten tickles.
You need to find their ticklish spot first, that usually takes two test-tickles... 
Reminded me of this site: http://www.rinkworks.com/jokes/
It hasn't been updated in years, but there are still several hundred of these sorts of jokes.
D'you know about the restaurant on the moon?
I heard it has great food, great service, but absolutely no atmosphere.
Dad, are you alright?
No, I'm half left...
What word starts with F and ends with UCK?
FIRETRUCK. Why, what word were you thinking of?
What word starts with F and ends with UCK?
FIRETRUCK. Why, what word were you thinking of?
oh lord
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel attached to his belt buckle.
"That looks uncomfortable," observes the bartender.
"Arr, it's driving me nuts!"
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel attached to his belt buckle.
"That looks uncomfortable," observes the bartender.
"Arr, it's driving me nuts!"
Best evar!
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel attached to his belt buckle.
"That looks uncomfortable," observes the bartender.
"Arr, it's driving me nuts!"
Yes!
Q: Who led the Pedants' Revolt?
A: Which Tyler
A: Knock knock
B: Who's there?
A: An interrupting sheep
B: An interrupt-
A: BAAAH!
There's a version of Viagra for women called Niagara
There's a version of Viagra for women called Niagara
I guess we're straying out of Dad joke territory...
Did you hear Viagra has a generic version now?
Just ask for Mycoxaflopin.
Last week a shipment of Viagra got robbed at gunpoint. The police are on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals.
DudleySmith wrote:There's a version of Viagra for women called Niagara
I guess we're straying out of Dad joke territory...
Did you hear Viagra has a generic version now?
Just ask for Mycoxaflopin.Last week a shipment of Viagra got robbed at gunpoint. The police are on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals.
Damn the snorting of morning beverage through the nose.
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
--Have you heard of the movie Constipation?
--No.
--That's because it hasn't come out yet.
Knock knock?
Who's there.
Apple.
Apple who?
Knock knock?
Who's there.
Apple.
Apple who?
Knock knock?
Who's there.
Apple.
Apple who?
Knock knock?
Who's there.
Apple.
Apple who?
Knock knock?
Who's there.
Apple.
Apple who?
Knock knock?
Who's there.
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say Apple?
Q: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
A: THE TASTE!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Real exchange with my wife last night:
Me: I heard a great ebola joke today
Wife: Yeah, what is it?
Me: Eh, you won't get it.
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