Crusader Kings II Sparkle Pony-all

kazooka wrote:

What's with the GWJ obsession with Wales? I keep playing Wales because my name ends in Cadogan Morgan, but I can't imagine that's the same for the rest of y'all.

It's fun living next door to crazy? Well, "fun."

In real life England had the conquest, then the sinking of the White Ship which led to a period of time referred to as "The Anarchy", which was eventually followed by a much more stable period we like to refer to as "The Hundred Years War."

The in game England is often even more nuts than that.

People seem to always have a preference to play something in the United Kingdom. Part of it is probably because of our close ties and knowing more of its history. I mean, how many people are of English, Irish, etc. heritage? But there's also the part where it's a friggin island so it lulls you into a feeling of false security.

garion333 wrote:

People seem to always have a preference to play something in the United Kingdom. Part of it is probably because of our close ties and knowing more of its history. I mean, how many people are of English, Irish, etc. heritage? But there's also the part where it's a friggin island so it lulls you into a feeling of false security.

In other Paradox games I'm often Sweden, Norway, or Denmark, but for exactly the reasons that Garion says - my background is very Nordic, and I've studied Scandinavian history.

However, now I'm playing as the The Duchy of the Isles (which has usurped the Kingdom of Scotland!)- So maybe there's more to it.

Appropriately, Auntie Beeb has announced today she's doing a documentary on the history of Wealas (youtube).

If you're from Blighty, (or lucky enough to work at a company that has a proxy server there, like me), then you can watch it on the BBC's iPlayer and read more about the show here.

Edit : On viewing, this is a documentary about the Welsh, for the Welsh, (despite not being in Welsh), so expect a helping of Welsh Backslapping, (not a euphemism).

I actually want to play Brittany or another French minor, but I like to start at the start of the game's timeframe, and at that time the kingdom of France is stupidly powerful.

What I wouldn't give for a mod or free DLC that added more kid (under 16) portraits and added portraits for kids under five just so that I could distinguish at a glance who's who. It would be really great if these portraits could be affected by the DNA system the way older character portraits are.

I also think it would be nice if you could mark a character so they always appear at the top of any list.

Oh man, Spain is a riot to start out in (1066 start). No, that's not a turn of phrase. It's literally a bunch of inter-related kings and princesses and their bloody-minded Counts and Dukes trying to gut each other repeatedly. And the Muslim Emirs are all watching and sharpening their knives... Take one of the kingdoms on the north side of the peninsula and hold onto your floppy wool hat.

I tried starting as Sancho in (I think) Leon. Promptly had one of my brothers attack, and in the second battle, my king was killed! The war was immediately resolved - and I became the brother, because he *inherited* all his brother's territory! Superb!

I then placated a few nobles who didn't like the change of leadership, and turned on Valencia, which was busy fighting off one of it's neighboring Muslim emirates. I took Valencia completely - and then another of my brothers turned on me, two neighboring emirates attacked, and 3 provinces revolted.

Good thing I had nearly 375 gold in the coffers. I hired 2300 mercenaries and began pounding sense into people. I proceeded to spend the next two years or so losing some of my captured provinces, putting down revolts, and generally ending all but two of the wars - one with a neighbor of Valencia, and the other with my loving brother.

Then my character died suddenly at around the age of 29 in the same month that we ran out of money to pay the mercs. Inheritance went to the king's sister, who is like 3 years old. I promptly surrendered about half my territory and settled in to sulk. And that's where it stands now. Less than 5 years playtime so far.

I have united Ireland (except for a few holdings) under the mighty rule of the Crusader knights Sithrigi. Generations of brave, powerful crusaders have cemented the dynasties place in the history books!

My current liege however... Well he's a Crusader... but he is also a craven, arbitrary, wrothful Lunatic.

He has had some trouble keeping things together. Interestingly, other branches of the dynasty have been performing well and my vassal duke great uncle held the south of Ireland for me. He had married the duchess of York 25 years ago.

All of a sudden I noticed that most of england was now part of my kingdom!

Upon further investigation it appears my 14 year old uncle inherited the south of Ireland and most of central England on his parent's deaths.

So now my stark raving lunatic King of Ireland has noticed that he is the 'Heir' of this 14 year old boy, and if he were to die all of a sudden most of Englad would belong to the Lunatic.

what to do... what to do...

Prozac wrote:

I have united Ireland (except for a few holdings) under the mighty rule of the Crusader knights Sithrigi. Generations of brave, powerful crusaders have cemented the dynasties place in the history books!

My current liege however... Well he's a Crusader... but he is also a craven, arbitrary, wrothful Lunatic....So now my stark raving lunatic King of Ireland has noticed that he is the 'Heir' of this 14 year old boy, and if he were to die all of a sudden most of Englad would belong to the Lunatic.

what to do... what to do...

This....this is Why We Play.

I wore the bits out of my copy of CK 1, I'm trying to hold off for my wallet's sake. But every day, the wallet grows stronger and my will to hold off grows weaker. I'm very happy to hear that they've put this game out on top of a stable engine, but kept so many of its weird, awesome idiosyncrasies. I can only hope Victoria is next in the hopper (and that they never learn how to spell factory).

So my Kingdom of Wales game petered out (heh) almost entirely due to the fact that the descendants of the King who got the wife of the heir to the King of England pregnant (twice) were so embarrassed that they appeared to have sworn off the concept of sex entirely. Now I'm giving Ireland a try, and may try my hand at some crusading. I'm not really sure how that works.

NoHighScores (the Gameshark people blog) is giving away a cop of CKII. Register, comment and get in on it. NHS is a great blog done by older industry journalists. I highly recommend it and the Jumping the Shark podcast which frequently includes Tom Chick or Troy Goodfellow, so you know the casters (including our own ubrakto) are good peeps.

I love this game.

I was playing as the Duke of Transylvania. I had four children -- two sons and two daughters. At some point I decided it would be a good idea to start a war to claim the kingdom while the King of Hungary was away fighting another war. However, I had already married my eldest daughter to one of the king's sons, so my plot caused a pretty tragic chain of events.

My oldest son and heir, who was also my spymaster, discovered a plot against him headed by my daughter. I couldn't talk her out of it as she was now loyal to her husband and the king. All I could do was continue fighting and hope for the "best", which turned out to be my daughter dead at 19. I believe she tried to assassinate her brother and was killed after she failed.

My fellow conspirators and I fought our war for 6 years before I surrendered to the king and was put in prison, where I would remain for the final 18 years of my life. The year I surrendered, my second son came of age and I found him a wife. He then apologized to me for his past behaviour -- we didn't have a good relationship, probably because I had spent nearly half of his life fighting a losing war.

Later that year, my spymaster son discovered a plot to assassinate me ... led my by other son. I had my younger son imprisoned and that's where he died at the age of 18.

Two years later and without warning, my oldest son died, leaving his daughter as my new heir. When she came of age, I granted her a second county (she had already inherited her father's), but otherwise paid her little attention. I later discovered that she had married the new direct heir to the Hungarian throne and could eventually become the queen of Hungary.

At the age of 65, the Duke of Transylvania died in prison leaving his duchy to his granddaughter. She had a son, who replaced her sister as her heir. The boy was barely a year old when he was found dead and it was suspected the sister (his aunt) had a hand in it, though there was no proof.

And that's where I left off.

I can't remember the last time such a consistent series of bad news (nearly this entire thread!) was so enjoyable and entertaining to read.

That's actual Balkan history right there.

Fyedaddy wrote:

I can't remember the last time such a consistent series of bad news (nearly this entire thread!) was so enjoyable and entertaining to read.

Just wait until I write out the tragicomedy history of my Polish dynasty.

I didn't even mention the part where the Duke's first wife (and spymaster) dug up some dirt on a noble in one of the counties only to be assassinated by said noble (without concrete proof -- the Duke killed him anyway).

Or that his second wife (who had the lover trait) died the day after the marriage and departure of her only daughter, the last remaining child of the Duke's house -- while the Duke was in prison.

So sad. So awesome.

Just played with the demo for the first time and I noticed that people in Bohemia seem to lack a long-term memory.

My spymasters had an amazing tendency to die after just a short time in office. I think I lost about 10 of them in 18 years of rule, yet people (including my wife) continued to clamor for the job.

The only thing more dangerous than spymaster was marrying my niece, Juditka Plewbyona (or something like that). By the time she was 24, she had gone through 5 husbands and continued dreaming of marrying a ruler. Yeah, baby, with that sorta baggage, not gonna happen.

...and then, despite having a 16 year old son, the game suddenly ended in the middle of a civil war led by another 16 year old niece. That was already the second civil war; the first was led by my brother, who loved me, but wouldn't let that stop his ambitions.

Is the demo limited to 20 years? (First duke died 2 years in, the second lasted 18 before the abrupt game end).

I like what I see; I just wish I understood it more. I also wouldn't have wasted 8 years fabricating claims on Upper and Lower Silesia only to find out I couldn't declare war because they weren't independent (from Poland).

Yeah, the demo is year limited. 20 sounds about right.

AUs_TBirD wrote:

I like what I see; I just wish I understood it more.

We all do and the more we play the more info becomes available.

AUs_TBirD wrote:

I like what I see; I just wish I understood it more. I also wouldn't have wasted 8 years fabricating claims on Upper and Lower Silesia only to find out I couldn't declare war because they weren't independent (from Poland).

In order to press your claim, you'd have to declare war on Poland, since Lower Silesia is under their liege's protection.

So... Remember that Lunatic King of Ireland? well he's been on the throne for about 25 years at this point, despite his lunacy, although that has led to some interesting decisions. This is really a story about one of those decisions.

~~~~~~~~~

The lunatic King had two sons to his first wife, Who was thrown in prison and died there. He duly remarried and sired a third son. His second wife plotted against him, but knowing the fate of his first wife, she fled to an English duke's court with her son to escape the lunatic's wrath.

Fast forward 20 or so years and the lunatic king begins to notice a disturbing trend. His first son dies mysteriously. A few months later his grandson, barely out of swaddling cloth, the new heir also dies mysteriously. A few months after that his second son, a homosexual duke in England and current heir also dies mysteriously.

Old looney tunes consults the courts scrolls to see who is next in line only to find that it is his third son, who is now a count of two provinces in England.

His son is a Craven Kinslayer, but also a Brilliant Strategiest. Having worked out what happened to all his family Looney tunes happily goes back to blowing spit bubbles knowing that not only is his line of succession in good hands but also that on his death Norfolk and Suffolk will join the kingdom.

~~~~~~~~~

At this point I control all but 2 Irish Provinces (the French have those and there is no way I can tackle the giant Blue Blob as they will smash my African holdings) and 'England' controls 12 provinces in England while I control 11, so with Norfolk and Suffolk flippnig Ireland will control more of England than the English!

From the beginning of a kind of weird Polish game:
IMAGE(http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/488877446865971260/814FF29285F849F7057FD8FC3A91F4B4B8AD447F/)
Despite the rumors, ole Wladyslaw the Sodomite ended up siring a daughter who is betrothed to the King of Poland's son. Wladyslaw also ended up dying in a foreign prison after being captured in a silly war started by his liege. Maybe the rumors were true or maybe they became true before the end...

Now I am playing Wlayslaw's 3-year-old daughter. Half the realm is gone thanks to gavelkind succession but at 3 years old, the daughter has better stats than her father in about half the stat categories.

What was the relationship/perception drop? -10?

garion333 wrote:

What was the relationship/perception drop? -10?

I think so; it may have been -15.

What a Nightmare, tboon. So to speak.

This game is digital crack. Paradox has set a new standard in emergent gameplay. Here's a high-level synopsis of my first game.

I started off as William the Conqueror in 1066, not really knowing how the game mechanics worked. Eventually I pounded some sense into my vassals and conquered Wales. William lived until about 55 but around age 40 at a tournament he had a 'queer feeling' and started jousting for the other team. His wife, perhaps feeling neglected, went Chaste and attempted to purchase poison... from my spymaster. I banished her and found a newer, younger model while slowly expanding into Ireland.

Towards the end of William's reign his son Robert (who had miserable traits anyway) tried to kill his poor brother Richard, for which I imprisoned and executed him. This left Robert's son and William I's ward William (also gay, of course) to take the throne as William II.

William II put down angry vassals (and was maimed during the process, earning the name 'half hand') and reigned about 20 years, during which I discovered that I could build buildings and proceeded to do that everywhere. Despite being gay (apparently love poetry and buying an awesome horse do the trick to get your wife in the mood), William II had no problems on the child front and soon the royal nursery was full. William II adventured in Spain a little bit, but it was a lost cause as the Muslims are dominating the world in this game. Eventually William III took the throne (not gay!), and reigned about 50 years, forming the Kingdom of Ireland and siring about 15 kids through 3 wives and several mistresses. He even reproduced beyond the grave - he died at 74 in a routine peasant-crushing expedition after impregnating his newest wife, a 16 year old Scottish Duchess with a nice... claim.

Unfortunately, William IV (GAY) was poisoned early on in his reign and his titles went to his 1 year old son, Robert I. I ended up reloading the game as William III was in the middle of the conquest of Brittany and all of William III's angry kids banded together and crushed me in a succession war. After reloading back to the end of William III's reign I ensured a smooth succession for William IV (eventually known as 'the devil' for his sodomy and kinslaying) and avoided the succession crisis and started crusading to try and hold back the Muslim hordes, with little success. I threw all of the holy orders I could and the Muslims just threw 5k more men than whatever I could muster at me every time.

Robert the First just took power at age 20 instead of age 1 (and yes, he's gay!) and proceeded to crush his various relatives and, in an interesting twist, married his young stepmother (I needed that 23 stewardship trait to hang onto my demense!)

I'm guessing France will be overrun by the Muslim horde soon and we'll all be praising Allah by 1300, but I'll see how far I can keep the Fabulous Kings of England going - my goal is to create the United Kingdom.

Minase wrote:

The Fabulous Kings of England.

You need to create a custom rainbow shield for your kingdom.

These AARs are so great. So glad I picked this up at release.

Fyedaddy wrote:

I can't remember the last time such a consistent series of bad news (nearly this entire thread!) was so enjoyable and entertaining to read.

I don't even own the game (yet), but these AAR's have been blast to read. Plus, I think I have learned a good deal about the game mechanics which should serve me well when I inevitably pick up the game.

After 30-odd years of computer gaming (and more board-gaming), I have to say I've gotten a little burned out. But CKII has me thinking about the game I'm playing at odd moments, and I always want to get back to it. That's magic these days; it's that rare game that defines a genre. This game is going to win awards.

Heck, James gave it 8 out of 8. That doesn't happen every month.