Autistic Adults Catch-All

sometimesdee wrote:

Yeah, considering that some French docs still subscribe to the Refrigerator Mother hypothesis, I'd say they're a bit behind.

Wait, really?

Crimeny!

doubtingthomas396 wrote:
sometimesdee wrote:

Yeah, considering that some French docs still subscribe to the Refrigerator Mother hypothesis, I'd say they're a bit behind.

Wait, really?

Crimeny!

According to Eleima herself, IIRC.

Yup, it's true. France is very much behind when it comes to autism. I was referred to a famous child psychiatrist in Paris ("he's the best!") and he did indeed subscribe to the Refrigerator Mother theory. Things are changing, but autism is still very much a psychiatry thing rather than a neurology thing.

LouZ, I'm sorry you've had it so rough, but I'm really glad your daughter is better equipped and getting the support she needs. It's so important.

Forgot this one was here.... :embarassed:

Eleima wrote:
doubtingthomas396 wrote:
Wink_and_the_Gun wrote:

Just had one of those "I don't think I did a very good job of 'pretending to be human' moments" that has left me drained, head-in-my-hands, alone in my office.

Ugh.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one that feels like I'm "pretending". Some days it's easier than others....

Not alone.

Totally not alone. I'm so glad I have my own office, there are days I close the door and pace or just cry it out.
**hug** Wink

(Hint, I'd also recommend this thread.)

It's nice to have a space to retreat into.

42 years (as of today, in fact) of practice has enabled me to appear 'mostly human', most of the time

I see the same struggles, in my son. I just wish I had better advice for him than "keep at it, you'll get better" - because I have almost no idea how I've made it this far, myself. I went through a pretty awful period, in my twenties, where I came close to making the decision to "end it all" - world-class procrastination skills probably saved me ("I'll do it 'tomorrow'"). I'm hyper-vigilant to making damn sure I'll notice if he gets into a similar 'funk'.

I attribute most of it to blind luck... Hell, my wife (of 9.5 years) and I met on a blind date 14 /15 years ago. Go figure...

The best thing for your kid is to make sure he knows he has what my wife calls a "soft place to land." Make sure he knows there is at least one person who gets him, loves him and respects him.

As long as a person knows that somebody understands, all of life's hard edges can be weathered.

As I mentioned in the more general Autism thread, my wife has convinced herself that she is autistic. I'm not sure what first gave her the idea, or if she's kind of always suspected it, but has recently done a lot of reading about autism in females and autism in adult women. Most of this has suggested that it more often goes undiagnosed and tend to reveal itself differently as women tend to be better at hiding it and successfully mimicking social behavior. From reading some of the posts on these two threads though, it seems like that may not be all that uncommon with males either, so long as they are verbal.

She tried meeting with a psychologist? through her work insurance, hoping to get recommended to a specialist, but ended leaving offended and unsatisfied and believing he made up his mind immediately or even prior and then spent the time trying to convince her that she is not instead of actually exploring the possibility with her. He had no specialty in autism, let alone autism in adult females, and hopes to find a specialist she could meet with. We live close enough to LA, and even San Diego if we really needed to, that I would think she should be able to find someone if she truly tries. She is distracted with planning our vacation and buying a house right now.

She was pretty obsessed about it at first, and increasingly wanting to be diagnosed so she "could finally know what's wrong with her." I explained that with or without a formal diagnosis, that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with her, and that the diagnosis wouldn't change anything. It is simply a label to organize those who feel, think, and interact a little differently than some other people, which is silly in a sense as we all feel, think, and interact differently in some ways. I think she'll just feel better to know she's not alone in these things. I will say though, it has helped me to understand her a little better. I have come to recognize her temporary obsessions and now realize I need to just let them play out. I also have a better understanding of how social situations affect: They mentally and physically drain her, even when its just our friends. For as shy as I am, I am very social when it comes to my friends and those I am actually comfortable around. I am also a little bit messy, and fairly comfortable with a little bit of mess, but have come to understand to what extreme mess can bother her, especially when she is more stressed or feeling less in control in her life. We have also decided to test some quality noise canceling headphones (Sony MDR-1000X m2) for busy places like conventions. So whether she has it or not, exploring that possibility has helped strengthen our relationship and increase my ability to be a good husband.

Any who, I don't really have a question, or anything to add to the previous conversations, but I wanted to bring up our situation in case anyone has any suggestion for her or even just for me. Who knows, maybe one of you even live in the same area and would like to direct us to someone specific to see about it.

agentwred wrote:

She tried meeting with a psychologist? through her work insurance, hoping to get recommended to a specialist, but ended leaving offended and unsatisfied and believing he made up his mind immediately or even prior and then spent the time trying to convince her that she is not instead of actually exploring the possibility with her.

...

She was pretty obsessed about it at first, and increasingly wanting to be diagnosed so she "could finally know what's wrong with her." I explained that with or without a formal diagnosis, that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with her, and that the diagnosis wouldn't change anything.

That pretty much sums up my own experience. I also have major depressive disorder, so my therapist (at the time) told me that if I was on the spectrum, it would have been brought to someone's attention before I became an adult (disregarding the fact that my school was tiny and underfunded). The problem is that this guy saw me as a married adult with a stable job and children and that was enough to completely reject any notion that I was on the spectrum. Which is pretty insulting when you get right down to it, assuming someone on the spectrum can't have romantic relationships that result in offspring, or a job/career... and yes, he told me flat out that those were the reasons why he didn't feel that I had any reason to think I was on the spectrum.

I asked one other therapist, with similar results. I gave up at that point. About the only way it affects me is that I select that I have a disability on job applications... Beyond that, it doesn't really affect me much, beyond a small nagging wonder about whether I'm right or wrong in it. At the moment, if you are an adult that hasn't been diagnosed, you have extremely slim chances of even being tested to see if you're on the spectrum, which really sucks.

Welcome agentwred! Boy, autistic women, yeah. Not an easy path to tread, and I should know. Very often underdiagnosed and having to live up to more expectations than their male counterparts. I haven't read much, but I would recommend Rudy Simone's Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome which I really appreciated and had two people read (my mom and my partner). Don't live in your area, so I'm sorry, I can't help with any resources.
Also, you can send her my way if she needs to talk to a fellow Aspergirl. We're all different, but some things, some struggles will remain the same.

I'll write a longer response later, but fwiw I have a set of the same headphones and they've been life-changing.

clover wrote:

I'll write a longer response later, but fwiw I have a set of the same headphones and they've been life-changing.

Oh, good to hear! I already bought the headphones. I plan on giving her those headphones and some Disney jewelry as an early anniversary gift so she has them when we go to Japan and Disneyland Tokyo. I figured they'll be nice for the plane, but I don't think she'll need them for Disneyland. The Disney crowds always bother me more than her, because she is just crazy excited about being at Disneyland. The majesty washes all else away for her.

Great blog post about what’s wrong with the portrayal of autistic adults in popular media.

I never thought of it like this before, but it makes perfect sense: the writers don’t seem to understand that autistic adults are actually capable of learning from life experience, so they write adult characters who act like a six year old out of the DSM.

It also explains why autistic adults find it so hard to get diagnosed. If the diagnostician is assuming a complete lack of neuroplasticity, then of course an autistic adult isn’t going to “look autistic” because the only mental image that neurotypical people have of autistic people is that of a perpetual child.

This threw a lot of stuff into relief for me. It’s worth a read.

Hey folks! One of the students at my college who's going to be doing her honours degree next year is putting together a project that she needs a bit of help with that might be of interest. I asked her for permission to post this here and she agreed, so I'll let her tell it in her own words...

Hi, as part of my final degree year at college I plan to create a book featuring a collection of comic pages based on everyday experiences of autistic people of all ages. The aim of the book is to help support other autistic individuals who may hopefully be able to relate to the illustrations and feel less alone. But also to give insight to neurotypical people who would like to better understand what daily life is like for autistic people (both the positive aspects and the struggles we face).

For this to work, I am looking for autistic individuals who would like to share their daily experiences with autism and have an illustrated version appear in the book.

So if you have a little story you’d like to share about your experience of living with autism, whether it is something someone has said to you such as ‘You don’t look autistic’ and your response, or your experience of understanding idioms for example, taking things literally, something you are incredibly proud of achieving or perhaps a quote that perfectly sums up what being autistic means to you, or something else you think should be included in the book, then i would love to hear from you. I will then try to create illustrations out of as many of these as possible.

If you would like, I can add your name to the bottom of your comic page. The book won't be completed until this time next year but I will make it available for all to see when it is complete by posting on my art page (facebook.com/SamBurgessArt)

If you would like to send me a message privately then please do, on my art page.

Thank you, your help would very much be appreciated '

She's Neuroatypical herself, and she's not had the best year, so if you are able to help her out with some feedback that'd be awesome! Best way to contact her would be through her facebook page (in quote above).

Thanks

pyxistyx wrote:

Hey folks! One of the students at my college who's going to be doing her honours degree next year is putting together a project that she needs a bit of help with that might be of interest. I asked her for permission to post this here and she agreed, so I'll let her tell it in her own words...

Hi, as part of my final degree year at college I plan to create a book featuring a collection of comic pages based on everyday experiences of autistic people of all ages. The aim of the book is to help support other autistic individuals who may hopefully be able to relate to the illustrations and feel less alone. But also to give insight to neurotypical people who would like to better understand what daily life is like for autistic people (both the positive aspects and the struggles we face).

For this to work, I am looking for autistic individuals who would like to share their daily experiences with autism and have an illustrated version appear in the book.

So if you have a little story you’d like to share about your experience of living with autism, whether it is something someone has said to you such as ‘You don’t look autistic’ and your response, or your experience of understanding idioms for example, taking things literally, something you are incredibly proud of achieving or perhaps a quote that perfectly sums up what being autistic means to you, or something else you think should be included in the book, then i would love to hear from you. I will then try to create illustrations out of as many of these as possible.

If you would like, I can add your name to the bottom of your comic page. The book won't be completed until this time next year but I will make it available for all to see when it is complete by posting on my art page (facebook.com/SamBurgessArt)

If you would like to send me a message privately then please do, on my art page.

Thank you, your help would very much be appreciated '

She's Neurotypical herself, and she's not had the best year, so if you are able to help her out with some feedback that'd be awesome! Best way to contact her would be through her facebook page (in quote above).

Thanks

Sounds like a great project. I have to admit that I'm a little let down as I was reading it and it sounded like it was being done by a college student with autism. I have an autistic high schooler and I know he'll be transitioning to adulthood faster that I am ready for. My hopes and dreams for him have been steadily changing as we face the realities of the impact autism will continue to have on his life. He is very "high functioning" but the likelihood that he'll be able to be successful going off to a 4 year college are looking more doubtful. I thought this was going to be a story of an autistic college kid succeeding at college and telling stories of their triumphs and tribulations. I could use some stories like that.

Well, anyways, sounds like a cool project!

She is Autistic (i thought I'd made that clear by mentioning she was Neuroatypical herself. apologies if my terminology was off!). She was only officially diagnosed last year though after getting the runaround from doctors for years.

As for success, she already has her degree in Visual Communication but she had a bit of a bump last year with some other health issues (she has an eye problem she's dealing with too) so she's effectively going to be repeating her honors degree this year, but she's definitely on the road to being an excellent children's book illustrator.

I think you might mean Neuroatypical, not Neurotypical

Woops that would be correct, yes, apologies!
Updated in both posts.

Ah thanks so much! Missing one little “a” really changes the meaning.

I might see if my son wants to contribute any stories to her project.

A lot of you have heard about spoon theory. But sometimes, it doesn’t always quite fit:
http://www.lunalindsey.com/2013/10/s...
I really recommend this very good read, it definitely spoke to me.

That was great. Thank you.

Hmm, that relates pretty well to my ADHD and executive function problems too. Thanks for the share, Eleima!

Arise thread, just so it’ll stay near the top of my favorites while I catch up. Posted this in the other Autism thread and was led here.

I’ll apologize up front if this comes out the wrong way or is problematic in my ignorance. My knowlege and experience with autism is fairly limited to a nephew who I only see a few times a year. But from what little I know I’ve started to wonder if I’m on the spectrum myself. Where can I go for some solid resources/information that would be more reliable than just a google search?

Sorry Antichulius, I saw your post in the other thread, but time just got away from me.

There's a popular self diagnosis tool on the internet, called the Aspie Quiz. Take it with a grain of salt, but it's certainly proved true in my own case (my very neurotypical mother scored very neurotypically, same for my sister).
There's gonna be tons of resources online, as well as books. The thing is, if you do want to take that step further and get a formal eval, it's going to depend on a host of factors: where you are, what services are available in your neck of the woods, what coverage you have (if you're in the States - social healthcare FTW).

Anyhow, that's what comes to mind right away. Don't hesitate to hit me up on Slack or PM me.

Thanks for the link. I took the quiz and scored high (like 10/10) on neurodivergent in one area and moderately high in a couple more. I also had some moderate neurotypical results couples with some very low ones (social category for one). Honestly it was a bit hard to parse and I accidentally closed the tab after the results had expired so I didn't get to go back for a second look. But my general take away was that I'm likely on the low end of the spectrum if I'm on it at all, or it's masked the same way I spent most of my life masking a host of other things. Either way, it's far more likely that my other confounding factors are more in play in my life than the autism spectrum. Thanks for the resources and the chance to explore this.

Antichulius wrote:

Thanks for the link. I took the quiz and scored high (like 10/10) on neurodivergent in one area and moderately high in a couple more. I also had some moderate neurotypical results couples with some very low ones (social category for one). Honestly it was a bit hard to parse and I accidentally closed the tab after the results had expired so I didn't get to go back for a second look. But my general take away was that I'm likely on the low end of the spectrum if I'm on it at all, or it's masked the same way I spent most of my life masking a host of other things. Either way, it's far more likely that my other confounding factors are more in play in my life than the autism spectrum. Thanks for the resources and the chance to explore this.

Welcome to the club

I hadn't taken that test before. I got a neurodiverse score of 117, with a neurotypical score of 90. It says I have traits on both sides.

IMAGE(http://www.rdos.net/eng/poly10a.php?p1=65&p2=72&p3=64&p4=46&p5=38&p6=41&p7=51&p8=74&p9=32&p10=92)

I did the quiz not too long ago in September. Mine looks a little different, my Aspie score is 153 out of 200 and I'm fairly certain that it comes with being a woman (women Aspies present differently than male Aspies, clinically).
IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/eMxKr5q.jpg)

It's good to have company.

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/R3VEePT.jpg)

So, I went ahead and took it again. I'm sure I didn't answer identically to before, but the scores seem similar enough:

Neurodiverse 131 of 200
Neurotypical 104 of 200

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/9Lcef0t.png)

IMAGE(https://rdos.net/eng/poly10a.php?p1=74&p2=88&p3=70&p4=36&p5=64&p6=80&p7=85&p8=81&p9=70&p10=89)

Lol, a single spike into the NT side. It gave me a 155/200 ND score.

In case anyone else was looking for their old results: Neurotribal Elders