Parenting Catch-all

Jonman wrote:
LeapingGnome wrote:
Jonman wrote:

Paternity leave might have been the best month of my adult life.

Not for me because we had no idea WTF we were doing and my wife struggled with postpartum depression. I do look back on it fondly with my daughter sleeping in my arms every day though.

Oof yeah.

Not gonna lie, part of the reason it was so good for me is that it's the longest I've had off work since I graduated college 16 years prior (or since). By a factor of 2.

I mean, hurray for gainful employment and all but f*ck man, it's no wonder I feel burned out.

Right there with you... I have not had more than two weeks in a row off work since I was 18, except for that paternity leave. I was just talking to my wife the other day that it is nice to have steady employment, but I have also never had that extended break some people get when they are between jobs. After 22 years I think I could easily take two months to sit around and do nothing and be happy.

ThatGuy42 wrote:

Congrats, Stele! Now is the time to get back to all those one handed games you can play with a baby in one arm and a mouse/controller in the other. I remember I played a ton of Wii games when my kids were babies. Oh! And Rock Band! There are many pictures of me during my paternity leave wearing a baby bjorn or moby wrap with a sleeping baby while playing a plastic guitar.

Awesome idea. Our toddler is so very into music and we kept talking about playing Rock Band 4 again one weekend with her. Now we can try it any day!

I took 4 weeks with our first daughter, and 2 of that was unpaid. It was not enough. My wife took 6 from her job and 6 unpaid and then ended up staying home the last nearly two years.

I've been WFH since March and so helping out a bit with lunch break and nap time. But I'm looking forward to full time 2 on 2 parenting for the rest of the year.

And OMG yes baby falling asleep on your chest already had a couple of those today. Mmm.

Babywearing is the answer, i think i played half my overwatch hours with my daughter sleeping on my chest. Though she was particular, if i sat down she would wake and complain so i had to kneel on my knees in front of the computer.
Man, thinking back i cooked alot of meals and played alot of games with a baby strapped to my chest.

I got a lot of use out of my Vita when my two year old was first born. Like above, she only slept great when held or lying on my chest, so I finally had the chance to get through P4G. Not exactly thematically resonant for parental leave, but still a fun memory.

Tycho the Mad wrote:

Babywearing is the answer, i think i played half my overwatch hours with my daughter sleeping on my chest. Though she was particular, if i sat down she would wake and complain so i had to kneel on my knees in front of the computer.
Man, thinking back i cooked alot of meals and played alot of games with a baby strapped to my chest.

This is the answer for everything. I did a lot of hiking wearing a baby, just to get some exercise and stay sane during the early months.

And then when she outgrew the Baby Bjorn, it was onto a backpack carrier.
IMAGE(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50382038563_79efe7b9a0_z.jpg)

Stele wrote:

Baby #2 is here almost 3 weeks early! Wife did it again all natural with no drugs. 6 pounds, 15 ounces, so way bigger than our first that was 6 weeks early.

They're monitoring blood sugar and making sure she eats, but so far no NICU, which is so great.

12 weeks of paternity leave starts today. Going to love being at home with my girls.

So it's been a long f*cking day. They kept checking blood sugar and around 4-5am this morning made the call to take her to NICU. It's frustrating because she actually latched and fed around midnight and again at 2-3am, something our first daughter never did. And she hates the formula bottles they have tried to supplement with. She doesn't know how to work the bottle and gets air and spits up everything.

Luckily we got some sympathetic doctors in NICU about 13 hours ago this morning. Since the baby was stable on IV fluids they were willing to let us try breast milk only and no more formula. Every 3 hours if her blood sugar is stable they reduce the IV. So far that has worked. Wife is a champ, baby is feeding, everything is going well.

But we're exhausted and trying desperately to get some sleep. Wife managed to pump a few mL ahead so hopefully we can skip the next feeding and sleep a solid 2-3 hours.

We did NICU before but we thought we had avoided it this time. So emotionally this has been tough feeling like a step back. But we are seeing progress already. So hopefully it will continue. But it does look like my wife is going to be discharged before her baby, again.

Rough stuff man. You’re a hero for having another go so soon. Good luck.

Realized I forgot to post. We also have a new baby. 11lbs 6 ozs... as of last Tuesday (preplanned c-section as the previous was also too big to come out normally). Dude grunts like a pig while sucking down food... Currently in the process of getting him to poop without having little whines about it for 30 mins...lol

Congrats, Manta! Get that baby time in while it lasts!

Wow that’s a big baby! Congrats!

LeapingGnome wrote:

Wow that’s a big baby! Congrats!

Holy moly.

And congrats!

NICU update: baby has been eating and no blood sugar issues off of the IV since Saturday at noon. But instead they have been focused on bilirubin levels. She was off the lights for a bit on Sunday but then levels went up so back on them. 2 lights for part of today even. But they decided to keep her another day. Fri-Tues at least. Shorter than last baby I guess.

Hope things continue to improve Stele. Congratulations

Stele wrote:

NICU update: baby has been eating and no blood sugar issues off of the IV since Saturday at noon. But instead they have been focused on bilirubin levels. She was off the lights for a bit on Sunday but then levels went up so back on them. 2 lights for part of today even. But they decided to keep her another day. Fri-Tues at least. Shorter than last baby I guess.

Well they kept her until Wed, but finally baby 2 is home. Still looking jaundiced today and we're supposed to get blood tested at family doctor for bilirubin levels this afternoon. I'm afraid were going to do some outpatient lights at least. Just hope they don't try to send her back to hospital.

Stele wrote:
Stele wrote:

NICU update: baby has been eating and no blood sugar issues off of the IV since Saturday at noon. But instead they have been focused on bilirubin levels. She was off the lights for a bit on Sunday but then levels went up so back on them. 2 lights for part of today even. But they decided to keep her another day. Fri-Tues at least. Shorter than last baby I guess.

Well they kept her until Wed, but finally baby 2 is home. Still looking jaundiced today and we're supposed to get blood tested at family doctor for bilirubin levels this afternoon. I'm afraid were going to do some outpatient lights at least. Just hope they don't try to send her back to hospital.

How is the weather by you? Probably more coincidence than it seemed, but my first born didn't get over that until the sun finally came out 6 days after he was born and got a sunbeam nap.

Yeah one of the doctors recommended some sunshine, but high was in the 60s yesterday. Seemed chilly for a newborn. Today might hit 75. Maybe we can go for a walk after her appointment at the warm part of the day.

Do you have windows? Even in the car works.

LeapingGnome wrote:

Do you have windows? Even in the car works.

Yes that was tired parent posting this morning. Thankfully one of the grandparents right after that asked us about the window by the couch. My wife remembered the doctor recommending that, and so one grandmother held sleeping baby by the window for a couple hours. She looks a lot better already.

Hopefully blood test this afternoon will be better.

Day 4 of potty training the almost 31 month old. We have made huge progress. She has run to the potty and pooped in it 3 out of 4 times. She has peed in the potty a couple of times each day when waiting and on the stool while trying to get on the potty. Generally wants to go in the right place. We have even had several successful trips outside for short walks.
Only real obstacle at this point is that she still hasn't quite figured out how to let go and pee when she knows that she's close, but not imminent. She does a leg closing peepee dance, and will sometimes sit on the potty and wait it out. Other times gets bored or tired and wants to get off and walk around a little. This typically leads to a small sprinkle, I get her to the potty, but she stops peeing en route and can't turn it on again.
I can tell she's almost got it and will figure it out soon. Just have to power through til then. Having almost zero issues getting poop in the potty is a blessing.

Congrats!
Our *tries to do math... Two and change* year old took to the potty like a champ. I think having the older sibling helped. At some point they insisted that they needed to go too! Now we just need them staying dry overnight more consistently. The oldest is batting around 50% and the youngest is a freaking rockstar. 90% give or take and it was like a switch flipped for them. "Oh, I don't pee while sleeping? K."

No daytime accidents in weeks.

But what I actually wanted to share is that we had a similar "can't go again on potty" thing and what worked for us was a routine of five deep breaths and push. They would even do the hand-motions for "in... And out. Whooosh." And at the bottom of five you "push!" So if they say "I don't have to go anymore!" They know that we do five deep breaths before jumping off.

Rezzy wrote:

But what I actually wanted to share is that we had a similar "can't go again on potty" thing and what worked for us was a routine of five deep breaths and push. They would even do the hand-motions for "in... And out. Whooosh." And at the bottom of five you "push!" So if they say "I don't have to go anymore!" They know that we do five deep breaths before jumping off.

Congrats to you, too!

That worked for pee and poop? I wasn't sure if pushing was the right way to describe peeing.

Rezzy wrote:

Congrats!
Our *tries to do math... Two and change* year old took to the potty like a champ. I think having the older sibling helped. At some point they insisted that they needed to go too! Now we just need them staying dry overnight more consistently.

Here is what worked almost foolproof for us.

I usually go to bed around 11:30 or midnightish, and when i would go to bed, I would pick up my daughters and put them on the toilet (while still half asleep). They would go to the bathroom, and be back in bed and asleep before they completely woke up.

Yep, that is what I did too for maybe 6 months or so? I keep pushing back the time I got her up to pee until I just stopped doing it one night and waited to see how it would go. We actually kept one of the little portable babybjorn potties in her room so I didn't have to take her all the way to the bathroom when I got her up so I could minimize how much she woke up. And even after I stopped getting her up we left it in there and told her to use it if she needed to. She did maybe a couple of times after I stopped getting her up.

Mixolyde wrote:

That worked for pee and poop? I wasn't sure if pushing was the right way to describe peeing.

Pee specifically. Poop hasn't been an issue here. Basically the dramatically expand chest breaths and usually by three or four the body does the rest if they get to five we bear down for a few seconds and if that didn't shift anything then they can get up with the caution that we can come back as soon as they feel like they need to go.

It solved our screaming I don't have to go! Fine, five deep breaths and you can go.

Edit: I did the carry to potty a couple times and it was not a good experience for either one of us. We're limiting drinks in the evening and trying very hard to make a potty attempt right before actually settling down to sleep.

Scheduling was a big one for us... We go potty before snuggle time, then right before we brush our teeth and go to bed. That's typically about 30 mins apart... seems to work, but he got over not wanting to sit on the potty relatively quickly.

Need to take notes here for the future.

With our 23 month old we have been doing some sit on the potty if her diaper is dry after naps and getting her to go once or twice a week. Sometimes she says go potty but she's already went. Or she says it so we sit for a couple minutes and nothing happens then she goes in her diaper after. So still learning The talking points.

We're not really pushing, just trying to give her an option. We didn't want to try much before #2 came along as everyone warned us that would probably cause her to regress. But now that we've settled in for a few weeks, it's something to watch. 2 in diapers is a lot right now.

Stele, I really recommend buying the Oh Crap Potty Training book. It is an easy to use step by step guide that worked well for us.

LeapingGnome wrote:

Stele, I really recommend buying the Oh Crap Potty Training book. It is an easy to use step by step guide that worked well for us.

We're on the same book. Working well generally.