Parenting Catch-all

Jonman wrote:

1: Buy your MIL a big goddamn present. As you said, paid childcare is goddamn expensive, and she's been doing it for free for the best part of a decade. You owe her big time.

2: Expect all of your expectations to be drastically wrong.

3: Plan to work harder than you have in any paid professional role you've ever had. Possibly for less thanks.

4: Your self-motivation and triage skills are about get a helluva workout. There'll be more things than you can reasonably get done and a large part of your job will be deciding which ones can slide.

5: If you're someone who needs adult social contact to thrive, you'll need to work to include that in your routine. Particularly if your wife's job means she gets home exhausted and with nothing left in the tank.

6: Enjoy the hell out of it. Take all of the pictures.

Pretty much aaaaaaaaaall of this. Thank your MIL big time and be prepared for this being one of the hardest and thankless jobs in the world. I couldn't wait to get back to work after my maternity leave (which had me operating as a SAHM in those months).

Isn’t the Fire Kids the same tablet just put in a case and with a warranty?

Personally we just bought the cheap iPad. I think it was like $250 on sale here in the US, does everything we could want and should last for a while. We put it in kid friendly foam case with a handle and it has worked well.

I suggest buying your MIL a nice vacation somewhere. Seriously.

Also, have you looked into a nanny vs a traditional daycare setting? It would possibly be cheaper considering how many children are involved.

LeapingGnome wrote:

Isn’t the Fire Kids the same tablet just put in a case and with a warranty?

Personally we just bought the cheap iPad. I think it was like $250 on sale here in the US, does everything we could want and should last for a while. We put it in kid friendly foam case with a handle and it has worked well.

We had a coupe of Fire Kids and you get what you pay for. Batteries got progressively worse, interface was slow, configuration was annoying.
When they both died, we just got a lower end iPad too.

dejanzie wrote:

2. I found some guides on how to sideload the actual Play Store without rooting for later models, but does that impact the Kids side of things (parental controls mostly)? The guide I found was for the adult version. This would for sure alleviate most issues, as we could then install the Flemish kids TV apps (in Dutch).

I didn't delve into this as extensively as one might, but my experience with Kindle Fires is that the Kids/Freetime side of things doesn't work with sideloaded/Google Play apps at all. When I put some sideloaded stuff on my kids' devices, the apps just didn't appear at all in the interface to be added as approved apps for the Kids profiles. Eventually I ended up just setting them up on normal profiles with parental controls enabled.

astralplaydoh wrote:

I suggest buying your MIL a nice vacation somewhere. Seriously.

Also, have you looked into a nanny vs a traditional daycare setting? It would possibly be cheaper considering how many children are involved.

Yeah, my in-laws are great. They do a lot for us and for my wife's sister and her family. My father in-law sold his Shelby GT (60's I think) so they could buy the property we built our house on. Then sold it to us as a no interest loan. Which we have since paid back and built a house on it. Both my family and my wife's sister's family were moving within a year of each other. So they bought a box van with a lift gate. They sold their camper and purchased a used 16 seat tour bus. Took one of the seats out so it is just a 15 passenger van (no CDL needed). They use it to cart the entire family which is mine (6 people), my BIL and SIL+5 kids (7 people), and them (2). So this additional little one is throwing the group transport off now. My in-laws have earned a nice life through hard work, proper money management, lucrative side hustles, and outright luck. So I can't afford a nice enough vacation that would out do their what they currently enjoy. Though I chop wood for them. A lot of wood.

We have looked at different paid options, but they would almost completely eat my income. So if it would equal my income then why pay? That is were my wife and I are on that issue. Also working around only one work schedule is easier then working around 2.

Eleima wrote:
Spoiler:
Jonman wrote:

1: Buy your MIL a big goddamn present. As you said, paid childcare is goddamn expensive, and she's been doing it for free for the best part of a decade. You owe her big time.

2: Expect all of your expectations to be drastically wrong.

3: Plan to work harder than you have in any paid professional role you've ever had. Possibly for less thanks.

4: Your self-motivation and triage skills are about get a helluva workout. There'll be more things than you can reasonably get done and a large part of your job will be deciding which ones can slide.

5: If you're someone who needs adult social contact to thrive, you'll need to work to include that in your routine. Particularly if your wife's job means she gets home exhausted and with nothing left in the tank.

6: Enjoy the hell out of it. Take all of the pictures.

Pretty much aaaaaaaaaall of this. Thank your MIL big time and be prepared for this being one of the hardest and thankless jobs in the world. I couldn't wait to get back to work after my maternity leave (which had me operating as a SAHM in those months).

Yeah if I do make this transition (which is looking more and more likely) I will be trying to prepare myself as much as possible. When my first child was born, I quit my then job so I could be around. 3 months later I was offered my current job and I LEAPED at the chance. I went bonkers during those 3 months. I think now would be different. Most of my kids are just little people now, who I can enjoy doing things with. Only the baby will need the constant every moment watching/caring. Also I know my parent role a whole lot better now.

benign1 wrote:
dejanzie wrote:

2. I found some guides on how to sideload the actual Play Store without rooting for later models, but does that impact the Kids side of things (parental controls mostly)? The guide I found was for the adult version. This would for sure alleviate most issues, as we could then install the Flemish kids TV apps (in Dutch).

I didn't delve into this as extensively as one might, but my experience with Kindle Fires is that the Kids/Freetime side of things doesn't work with sideloaded/Google Play apps at all. When I put some sideloaded stuff on my kids' devices, the apps just didn't appear at all in the interface to be added as approved apps for the Kids profiles. Eventually I ended up just setting them up on normal profiles with parental controls enabled.

Aw shucks do you use anything specific for parental controls, or the standard Android stuff?

Anyone have recommendations for touch typing games for kids on Apple, Android, or PC?
I like typing of the dead but that seems a bit heavy style wise for my 8 year old.

Does Mavis Beacon still teach typing?

So weird interaction with my 3.5 year old last night.

It was Halloween, so obviously lots of candy/ late night so he was a little out of whack. He smashed his finger in the door when he went to the bathroom and started crying. Normally not a big deal lasts ~30 secs with a good hug and we move on.

Tonight he kind of freaked out a little bit and specifically said he couldn't stop crying... ok... maybe he really hurt his finger... no big deal. But he kept trying to stop and it made him cough a little bit... He asked us for help and we tried distraction or breathing deeply or just letting him cry over the course of a couple minutes... None of it worked and his candy filled stomach got the better of him. He hates that with a passion and so was more upset.

Well through the process of cleanup he got distracted enough that he was able to calm down. About a minute later he gave me a confused look and asked how did he stop crying. I explained about him thinking about something else.

I guess my question is really a 2 parter. Is it normal for a kid to say he can't stop crying/ask for help to stop crying? (Might be related to him not wanting to puke, which has always happen when he gets really upset.) And is it normal for him to ask a question like how did he stop specifically? ...where it was clear that his intention was to use that information later.

I feel like I've had my kid tell me she can't stop crying a bunch of time.

Which makes sense - crying isn't a voluntary action, even now as grown ups.

My 7-year old does this a lot, and it's really challenging. When she gets upset she will often keep repeating that she can't stop crying, and she will do this yelling/screaming, very forced-sounding crying that is really obnoxious and frustrating (especially if she's doing it while her infant brother is sleeping in the next room). We will repeat to her we understand she is hurt/sad/whatever and are sorry she feels bad, but she needs to take some deep breaths and slow herself down. She will then insist she cannot do that. We just try our best to not totally lose it with her and keep encouraging her to take deep breaths and/or try to distract her (saying "let's go use the bathroom" "let's go get a drink of water" etc. can sometimes be helpful ideas), and eventually she just kinda stops. But it is super frustrating! So I don't know if it's normal but I know that my kid does it too

manta, I think that sounds pretty mature and good that your 3.5 year old can do that. Kids can't regulate their emotions very well at that age so it is actually great that he is recognizing hey I am feeling something I don't know how to deal with, please help me and actually verbalizing that to you.

LeapingGnome wrote:

manta, I think that sounds pretty mature and good that your 3.5 year old can do that. Kids can't regulate their emotions very well at that age so it is actually great that he is recognizing hey I am feeling something I don't know how to deal with, please help me and actually verbalizing that to you.

This. And we're going through the same thing with our 3+ year old. This morning was a 30-45 minute freakout about trying to go potty, at the end of which they did breathing exercises while sitting on the toilet and took care of business at the end of a slow count to 5. We high-fived through the tears. The chemicals roil and they have no way of controlling that no matter how rational they seem during the normal times.

We do a lot of talking about how to manage "big feelings," including a wide variety of self-soothing techniques. Currently his favorite is to find someplace semi-hidden to chill. (This is, of course, maddening when we're trying to complete a routine to leave for daycare, or get in bed.)

Rezzy wrote:

So tired.
The oldest is hitting the age of defiance. We had a meltdown outside of daycare because I lifted them into their seat. Once the buckles were clipped they decided that actually they had wanted to sit down by themselves and no amount of do overs would rectify this grievous slight. Screaming at the top of their lungs while I'm hanging out of the car door into a busy street trying to keep them from harm and buckled securely so I can close the door. Fun.

I am very here. Solidarity, Rezzy.