Parenting Catch-all

Blind_Evil wrote:

I keep telling her I’m sure the baby is going to be great regardless but can’t convince her to stop worrying and enjoy this fully.

I think "worry" goes along with being a parent. And I know that for me, the whole postpartum hormone soup (together with reduced sleep and change in my job status), did not help in the least.

It took me a long time to learn the best way for me to process all of the parenting advice that came at me from all directions in a way that didn't increase my anxiety levels. You'll have to work out what works best for your family. (I'll repeat that: work out what's best for your family -- this is the real key to parenting, in my opinion).

What's your wife's approach to stress/anxiety been in the past? What can you do to support her with it? Simple reassurance may not be what works best (it can sometimes seem dismissive of real concerns).

I wish you all the best.

Congrats. Currently bottle feeding our 4 month old some formula. Tried everything but after 2 months the BF milk supply was not keeping up with demands and various pills and drinks and supplements suggested by doctors and dieticians did nothing to help. The guilt is real, but baby happy and growing is a good cure for that.

Now to clean up... Happy spitter part two. My two year old is now giving baby kisses. Dying from adorbs. Blew a raspberry against her cheek... Heart bursting. She's mine.
IMAGE(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/At5lQNer4E1QftrUVT2pwsk0TlL46gLE5hLygiprYC3qdXUvLkSVaYDVdwlr4xcAAtJQj2E6ZyQvqlDnORaF35ug2RGBkoPQuUkRW4B-gn_myKKpcUYUrCGGxvNuZaOrUERY7st8WehPyrfcy_1wa0SdT5dmwCKVtLlpDUnTEecvJI6H_rGL-ZmPzvNgvJMNJEE25ybSiu3bXBkoGWHqZwBc0yIuIPo8UzbJByxEx7n96QniiKnnZRNCeY3HwefjBW_ODJHWNwZkx34UhOOzj5nFkgzAgrC4478M1Ii7OvezxZmhWL01gCj4pBkD2uzLunjrOwo415kOb7C-jZ6WHY13k--nvqHuH7LuOFjnWpyt62oMeLrCVy9CYqidEXI-Xk7VZttZorLEWm7358Sg4jqxt63L5Bietk69hiyzL0ZmeWvqgB4P39pH1LajPivWYF-3Z9koU2LKMkGqbegDJnMOj9oZjWmlszhcR-1o1tuf1djbXBBiu14pjV73O0OX7n-Sg4u56eqipAUUhjfI9DdObzrsgjWhEbI0HGbjgPsAaSGVd7tyuROcSmIHdtZbCOnTuIzRVdXAUngw6VEV8hqgAIFtTWcx7HI1DGbmWdMyot5OSKa2s4Yj-00Vcf-t=w824-h618-no)

Edit: on the subject of formula, I think it was linked here a few years back... But the Dr. Brown mixer pitcher is an absolute staple tool unless you get your formula pre-mixed.

It’s a unique sense of dread when you’re listening to your two young children play together in another room for the first time, knowing how rough they been to each other, but not wanting to disrupt the progress of them being together. Injury awaits, but when?

Antichulius wrote:

It’s a unique sense of dread when you’re listening to your two young children play together in another room for the first time, knowing how rough they been to each other, but not wanting to disrupt the progress of them being together. Injury awaits, but when?

Had a similar situation the other day. Peaked round a corner to see my 2yo had climbed onto my 5mo's bouncer so that he could use his full weight to bounce her up and down. It was terrifying to watch, but she was having a great time and laughing up at him so I didn't want to put a stop to it either.

Didn't end it tears thankfully!

I feel a real sense of dread when I hear the kids screaming and laughing and generally making a ruckus, and then everything goes dead silent. This is usually a bad sign.

Silence is always a bad sign.

Friends and family often cringe at the number of noisy toys in our house. I always tell them that noise equals safety and happiness.

Here's a pro-tip for my fellow parents:

Say you're out for dinner with your kids, and you see another couple who are also out for dinner with their kids. Just because that other couple are doing a great job of making sure their kids are being well behaved, that shouldn't be taken as an open invitation for you to send your kids over to them to be babysat for the entire three-course meal, while you get to eat your dinner in peace.

Because maybe that other couple don't get out for fancy meals too often now that they've got three kids. And maybe, just maybe, your older-but-less-mature kids just ruined their whole evening...

Other parents can be the worst!

Rant, over.

Stevintendo wrote:

Here's a pro-tip for my fellow parents:

Say you're out for dinner with your kids, and you see another couple who are also out for dinner with their kids. Just because that other couple are doing a great job of making sure their kids are being well behaved, that shouldn't be taken as an open invitation for you to send your kids over to them to be babysat for the entire three-course meal, while you get to eat your dinner in peace.

Because maybe that other couple don't get out for fancy meals too often now that they've got three kids. And maybe, just maybe, your older-but-less-mature kids just ruined their whole evening...

Other parents can be the worst!

Rant, over.

Wow. Did you at least know the interlopers? (I'm assuming you're the good parents in this scenario. )

Oh man, I would have nope'd that so hard. That sucks you had to deal with that (also assuming you're the good parents like Chumpy did)

Who does that!?!?

Also, where was the waiter or host or whatever?

That's a crazy story and seriously, who does that? You should have fed them sugar packets.

Chumpy_McChump wrote:

Wow. Did you at least know the interlopers? (I'm assuming you're the good parents in this scenario. )

Nope, complete strangers! And wouldn't it be funny if I was one of the 'bad' parents, and I'd come in here to share some genuine learning?

It was a situation where we were so caught off guard by what was happening that we didn't really react in the moment. It started off harmless enough because the other children wanted to see our 5mo. Next thing we know we're rushing our deserts just to get the whole thing over with... I can't believe parents would do that... It's already a balancing act trying to have a nice meal with young kids, without throwing other people's children into the mix.

It is so rare that my wife and I get to treat ourselves like that (if you've seen the carer's thread or my recent post in the 'thing you love' thread, you'll know why), and we put a lot of work into making sure we were all set up to keep our children entertained for the duration. So annoying.

gamerparent wrote:

You should have fed them sugar packets.

I can't tell you how much I wish I'd thought of this! And it would have been a bowl of sugar cubes, that's now fancy we're talking!

gamerparent wrote:

You should have fed them sugar packets.

I'm not saying you should have fed them beer, I'm just saying that if there was a beer on your table that they drank, well, that's not entirely your fault.

Seriously though, Steve, you're a better man than I. Those kids would have been sent back to their parent's table, post-haste. With a large order of stink-eye.

Should have had the waiter send your bill to their table to allow them to pay for your babysitting service.

Stevintendo wrote:
Chumpy_McChump wrote:

Wow. Did you at least know the interlopers? (I'm assuming you're the good parents in this scenario. )

Nope, complete strangers! And wouldn't it be funny if I was one of the 'bad' parents, and I'd come in here to share some genuine learning?

It was a situation where we were so caught off guard by what was happening that we didn't really react in the moment. It started off harmless enough because the other children wanted to see our 5mo. Next thing we know we're rushing our deserts just to get the whole thing over with...

I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume that the 5mo is your first child? Believe me, that situation is a lot simpler when your kids are older and - more importantly - you get more familiar with how kids work. I’m guessing you were too polite to say, “Alright, strange kids, we’re having a meal here. Go back to your table now.” As you start interacting with your kid’s friends, that kind of thing gets much easier.

EDIT: For context, there is very little I love more than dad voicing other people’s kids. Interpret that however you like.

Chumpy_McChump wrote:

EDIT: For context, there is very little I love more than dad voicing other people’s kids. Interpret that however you like. ;)

Parenting high-5!

Boy is that satisfying.

dejanzie wrote:

Silence is always a bad sign.

Friends and family often cringe at the number of noisy toys in our house. I always tell them that noise equals safety and happiness.

Unless you’re on the spectrum.

Eleima wrote:
dejanzie wrote:

Silence is always a bad sign.

Friends and family often cringe at the number of noisy toys in our house. I always tell them that noise equals safety and happiness.

Unless you’re on the spectrum.

Or sensory processing disorders. They're the best...

Baby 3 due in slightly less than 2 months, and I just conquered my greatest fear: I managed to install a third car seat in the back of my Honda Fit. Lifting the two year old into a rear-facing car seat in the middle is going to be a challenge, but we managed a drive to the grocery store that way today just fine, and she was super psyched to see how close she'll be to her little brother. It is kind of ridiculous how relieved I feel to have this situation resolved, but short of a mysterious benefactor announcing that they will pay for all of Baby 3's daycare costs, that's the biggest stress reliever I could've gotten.

mrlogical wrote:

Baby 3 due in slightly less than 2 months, and I just conquered my greatest fear: I managed to install a third car seat in the back of my Honda Fit. Lifting the two year old into a rear-facing car seat in the middle is going to be a challenge, but we managed a drive to the grocery store that way today just fine, and she was super psyched to see how close she'll be to her little brother. It is kind of ridiculous how relieved I feel to have this situation resolved, but short of a mysterious benefactor announcing that they will pay for all of Baby 3's daycare costs, that's the biggest stress reliever I could've gotten.

Actual first-world countries have universal daycare. *sigh*

mrlogical wrote:

Baby 3 due in slightly less than 2 months, and I just conquered my greatest fear: I managed to install a third car seat in the back of my Honda Fit. Lifting the two year old into a rear-facing car seat in the middle is going to be a challenge, but we managed a drive to the grocery store that way today just fine, and she was super psyched to see how close she'll be to her little brother. It is kind of ridiculous how relieved I feel to have this situation resolved, but short of a mysterious benefactor announcing that they will pay for all of Baby 3's daycare costs, that's the biggest stress reliever I could've gotten.

As a parent who had three under three when our youngest was born, I can identify completely with this post!

Edit: I don't know of this is the norm but we found that going from two to three was far less of an adjustment than either have our first child or going from one to two. I guess at this stage you know what you're doing.

Travel logistics and daycare are big factors in why we are stopping at two. Will be chatting with my healthcare provider about affirming that decision at the source next month.
In the meantime... Kid One is pooping in potties more often than not. Pee is still a bit of a blind spot and she seems loathe to disengage with whatever has her attention to take care of business.
We're starting Kid Two on rice cereal and it is really hard not to draw parallels with our experiences with Kid One. Kid Two is a more energetic screamer (like... Tonitis loud, at the drop of a hat) but other than that they could be clones.
We are in the fun age.
"I am grumpy! Grrrrr." Stomps through the kitchen.
"Okay, well I am making pancakes for breakfast."
Instant beaming grin. "I am happy now!"

Rezzy wrote:

Travel logistics and daycare are big factors in why we are stopping at two.

Saw an article this summer about the extinction of the middle child.

We're already thinking two but need to get this first one born first of course.

Our 3 1/2 yo is in the process of potty training. So we have him running around with no pants on most of the time at home. It’s getting close to bedtime, and we’re watching tv when he comes out with these gems:

“I don’t want to go to bed. I want to play with my penis.”

Then, moments later:

“My penis wants to watch tv. It has an eye.”

My wife showed me this yesterday, thought I'd pass it on.

Out of context, the audio is possibly NSFW. The video is fine though. Try to read the small print; that's the important part.

Hi, I'm new here. Does anyone know where I can ask the website owners/moderators a question? I want to invite people to play a video game I like that's free, but I'm not sure what the policies here are for promoting free games.

Any help would be appreciated! Thanks.

BabyShark wrote:

Hi, I'm new here. Does anyone know where I can ask the website owners/moderators a question? I want to invite people to play a video game I like that's free, but I'm not sure what the policies here are for promoting free games.

Any help would be appreciated! Thanks.

There's a "Contact Us" link under "More" up the top of the page.

However, general rule of thumb (and I'm not a mod) - if you're "looking for group", that's not a problem. If you're promoting a game that you have a financial stake in, that's when you'll want to check in first.

If you're just trawling for people to join up, so you get in-game rewards as a recruitment bounty, that's frowned up.

Jonman wrote:
BabyShark wrote:

Hi, I'm new here. Does anyone know where I can ask the website owners/moderators a question? I want to invite people to play a video game I like that's free, but I'm not sure what the policies here are for promoting free games.

Any help would be appreciated! Thanks.

There's a "Contact Us" link under "More" up the top of the page.

However, general rule of thumb (and I'm not a mod) - if you're "looking for group", that's not a problem. If you're promoting a game that you have a financial stake in, that's when you'll want to check in first.

If you're just trawling for people to join up, so you get in-game rewards as a recruitment bounty, that's frowned up.

Especially when you spam random threads with out of context questions.

I am late to the BF discussion. Just would like to agree, fed is best I don't care how you do it. It hurt to watch my wife feel the brunt of being a "bad mom" because she got out formula around the 5 other BF'ing moms. Formula is often a 4 letter word but come on, don't put your boob in my wife's business. This was years 5 and 2 years ago. Ever since I have been a lot like Mix in spreading the truth about feedings. Don't tout that one is better, make sure that baby is fed and the parents are OK.

I had a horrid parenting experience yesterday. In the process of getting our playroom clean, I gave the simple ultimatum. "You have 2 hours to clean up this room, or I'm going to come in here with a garbage bag and pick up everything that is not where it is supposed to be." "EVERYTHING?!?!" my children all screamed at once. "Yes," I replied, "everything."

Well, 2 hours later the room was still in shambles so I came in with the garbage bag. For a solid 5 minutes while I'm just picking things up they did everything they could to stop me. They did not try and speed up their own work to put things away, they literally just tried to get in my way. I had all 3 kids screaming at me, my middlest kicked me, my oldest tried to grab the garbage bag from my hands. They were all screaming and crying at once and I was so overwhelmed that I finally lost it. I screamed over all of them in my loudest voice "HEY!! I TOLD YOU WHAT TO DO! I GAVE YOU WARNINGS EVERY 30 MINUTES. I ASKED IF YOU NEEDED HELP! YOU CHOSE TO PLAY, AND NOW THIS IS THE CONSEQUENCE! GET OUT OF THIS ROOM AND LET ME CLEAN!" I think the neighbors heard me I screamed so loud. It took me 20 minutes, but that room was done at the end, and the garbage bag full of toys is now in the garage.

The whole ordeal was exhausting and I'm still emotionally shaken. I just can't understand why they didn't pick up the damn room, especially because this is not new. I have done this exact same thing before, not just in that playroom, but with each of them individually in their own rooms. In every single one of those instances I have followed through with the consequence and filled the garbage bag with whatever was not picked up. But they have never fought me so hard before. I'm hoping they remember this lesson and we don't have to go through this ordeal again, because I just don't know that I can emotionally handle the stress.