How to Be an All-Inclusive Gender Thread

Hypatian wrote:

Double oh: Also, the nurse who took my vitals before the doctor saw me was a trans guy who transitioned under my doctor's care, which is awesome. :)

That's a pretty good recommendation for the doc's care...

WOOOOOOOO

"Do I have boobs yet?"
"Sit back down or I'm turning this hormone bus around!"

Hypatian,

gratz on taking the next step. I'm really, really happy for you.

I've had a song bouncing around my head since it was posted yesterday. A friend of mine from my university Men's Glee Club days (Jeff Marx) turned out to be co-author of the musical Avenue Q, and he wrote a song for the tv show Glee. Besides the amazing lyrics you'd expect given the main message (proceeds are going to Trevor Project), this line has stayed with me, and made me think of a few pages back on this thread when you spoke of your conversation with your dad:

"Those who love you the most may need more time to grow"

While the song is aimed at LGBTQ teens, in the idea of itgetsbetter.org, I think the song holds true for anyone with these struggles.

The original song is at http://www.youhavemorefriendsthanyouknow.com/, and I found the Glee version here.

I typed up the lyrics which I'll paste in below. I just hope you are feeling these lyrics , Hypatian. Worth listening through the whole thing. The title says it all.

You Have More Friends Than You Know

We feel, we hear, your pain, your fear
But we're here to say, who you are is okay
And you don't have to go through this on your own
You're not alone

You have more friends than you know
Some who surround you, some you are destined to meet
You'll have more love in your life
Don't let go, give it time, take it slow
Those who love you the most may need more time to grow
It's gonna be okay
You have more friends than you know

Be brave, be strong,
you are loved, you belong
Someday soon you will see,
you're exactly who you're supposed to be
And you don't have to go through this on your own
You're not alone

You have more friends than you know
Some who surround you, some you are destined to meet
You'll have more love in your life
Don't let go, give it time, take it slow
Those who love you the most may need more time to grow
It's gonna be okay
You have more friends than you know

Be who you are
Learn to forgive
It's not about who you love
But how you live

You have more friends than you know
Some who surround you, some you are destined to meet
You'll have more love in your life
Don't let go, give it time, take it slow
Those who love you the most may need more time to grow
It's gonna be okay
It's gonna be okay
You're gonna be okay
You have more friends than you know
More friends than you know

Thanks for the music, Roo. I'm not really into musicals (which is to say: I run screaming), but it's appreciated.

This week's news: I swear my skin is already starting to feel different. Either that or my skin feels the same but my sense of touch is different. *ponder* Also, a few minor mood weirdnesses.

It's hard to think about how long things take to change, just like always. But... I'll get there, I really will.

Oh, and I got a new bag for carrying keys, wallet, phone, wind, fire, all that kind of thing.

Baby steps.

Cute bag! But why don't they show the inside? I hate that. I have a bag/purse problem collection, and its all about the inside pockets.

The Macy's page for it shows the inside, a bit. The black one's inside is a pale mint green. There's one exterior pocket on the back, one under the flap, one zip pocket inside, and a couple of pen pockets and a I-don't-know-what-this-is-for-my-phone-certainly-doesn't-fit larger pocket next to those. And there's a keychain tether, which I like.

It's basically got more than enough space for the stuff I carry with me all the time and which no longer goes into the pockets that my clothing doesn't have any more. I'd have enough room for makeup as well if I was carrying that with me, but probably not really anything on top of that. A lot less overkill than the Barnes and Noble shoulder-bag I've been carrying for ages. But, approximately the same, just smaller.

It does make me feel a little self-conscious, because the size sends signals closer to "purse" than to "guy's carry-all bag", but that's fading fast. And it's not like I haven't been using my bag as basically a purse for ages.

I don't know why I still have these morbid imagined scenarios of making "one more change" to my everyday presentation and suddenly having people on the street staring and pointing at me over the most trivial things. :p Not that I [em]really[/em] imagine that, I just sort of feel like I've been imagining it. It's weird.

Regarding bag collection (and shoe collection, and...): I mostly try to stay away from too many accessories, because I know I could go crazy and I'm still in such an intermediate place. So I mostly aim for stuff that's very neutral and boring and can go with just about anything. (Of course, I say that, but, well... Okay, to a real shoe fiend this would sound laughable, but considering that for most of my life I've owned [em]at most[/em] two pairs of shoes at a time: I now have ~15 pairs of shoes in my closet. So clearly once I figure out a general pattern of whatever clothing/accessory category that I like, I'm not shy about buying a bunch of stuff. They're still all pretty neutral, though. Some day I will wear something other than a shirt that has color to it.

Hmm, I like that purse, a lot. Is it big enough for an ipad mini?

15 pairs of shoes is quite respectable. Enough choices, but not into crazyland.

Hmm. I don't have a mini, so I can't try it. Eyeballing and based on my memory of the mini, it might just fit. Or it might be just slightly too small. Let's see... Two ~800pp standard mass-market paperbacks standing upright back to back fits the opening just about exactly, so you could probably use that to compare.

Edit: Based on the web, which only contains true information, the iPad Mini is 7.87" x 5.3". These two books together in that configuration are 8.25" x 6.75", and unlike the books the iPad is not an inch thick. So it should fit handily.

And now I want an iPad Mini to put into my purse. I blame you!

Hypatian wrote:

Hmm. I don't have a mini, so I can't try it. Eyeballing and based on my memory of the mini, it might just fit. Or it might be just slightly too small. Let's see... Two ~800pp standard mass-market paperbacks standing upright back to back fits the opening just about exactly, so you could probably use that to compare.

Edit: Based on the web, which only contains true information, the iPad Mini is 7.87" x 5.3". These two books together in that configuration are 8.25" x 6.75", and unlike the books the iPad is not an inch thick. So it should fit handily.

And now I want an iPad Mini to put into my purse. I blame you!

It's only fair, you enabled me to buy a purse, I enabled you to buy a mini.

*edit: and what to choose? black or lilac?

I am also considering a purse purchase. You monster.

( It is really cute, and looks like a handy size, too. And that strap might actually work for me.)

I got one today for $15! It's ridiculously huge. Biggest purse yet.

Listening to Janelle Monáe and taking my evening meds: <3

Amoebic wrote:

I got one today for $15! It's ridiculously huge. Biggest purse yet.

Hmm....

IMAGE(http://media2.onsugar.com/files/2012/10/40/3/166/1668379/68c3850015f87943_0-hulahooppost.xxxlarge_1.JPG)

Probably not that big, though?

I think my moods have changed. Like: I think when I used to feel "happy"? That's kind of my base state now. And when I'm happy now? Wow. So this is why people like being happy so much. I think I'm going to have to go for a walk in the park after work this evening, just to bask in how awesome the world is.

That's fantastic Hypatian, so happy to read it it

Hypatian wrote:

I think my moods have changed. Like: I think when I used to feel "happy"? That's kind of my base state now. And when I'm happy now? Wow. So this is why people like being happy so much. I think I'm going to have to go for a walk in the park after work this evening, just to bask in how awesome the world is.

This makes my day. Woo!

Roo wrote:
Hypatian wrote:

I think my moods have changed. Like: I think when I used to feel "happy"? That's kind of my base state now. And when I'm happy now? Wow. So this is why people like being happy so much. I think I'm going to have to go for a walk in the park after work this evening, just to bask in how awesome the world is.

This makes my day. Woo!

IMAGE(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwmn4aOabT1ql8xx7o1_500.png)

Now for something completely different.

Review: Hitachi Magic Wand penetrative attachments (Zinnia Jones, NSFW)

>_>


To follow something completely different with something delightfully similar:
NSFW Oh Joy, Sex Toy! NSFW
(Site's getting so hammered right now, so linking to her blog post announcing it with a link once it does actually work)
Love Erika Moen!

Amoebic wrote:

Oh Joy, Sex Toy! ...
getting so hammered

I am sorry, but the imagery in your post made me giggle loud enough that I woke up my wife.

Something I just came across via the guardian - thought it might be of interest:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2013/may/09/coverflip-maureen-johnson-gender-book

http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/coverflip

And let’s have a CONTEST! It’s called COVERFLIP. It works like this.

1. Take a well-known book. (It’s up to you to define well-known.)

2. Imagine that book was written by an author of the OPPOSITE GENDER. Or a genderqueer author. Imagine all the things you think of when you think GIRL book or BOY book or GENDERLESS book (do they EXIST?). And I’m not saying that these categorizations are RIGHT—but make no mistake, they’re there.

People are so weird. The previous TransScribe article "I Had Facial Feminization Surgery" also had some similar anecdotes.

My feeling: Every life is different, everyone's experience is different. All in myriad little details. When someone is doing what makes them happy... be happy for them. Don't be afraid to express doubts, fears, worries, and the like, but don't feel like you can [em]press[/em] your concerns and ideas on someone else. Ahh, well.

News: Talked to my therapist today. I've been feeling like I really need to come out at work: I'm tired of feeling like I'm hedged in and can't let people know. I don't feel like I can tell any more people without hitting some sort of critical mass where word [em]will[/em] start to spread. So... time to make that move on my terms. It's kind of terrifying, still. Anyway, I confirmed with him how to get in touch if my HR rep would like to talk to him, and... some day very soon, I'll be doing that. What I really hope to do is talk to HR, and share my plan to talk to my immediate co-workers personally, one-on-one. First my immediate supervisor and then he and HR can work up the supervisory chain. Then hopefully after not very long (and possibly at the same time), I'll talk personally with the other people in my group. (Some awkwardness there: We have one very new hire, who doesn't really know me at all yet, so that's a little weird.) There may be a few people in other groups who I'll want to talk to personally.

Outside of that... people I really only know in terms of passing them in the halls, I feel no real need to say anything explicit. I think it would be fine to matter-of-factly mention it if something comes up, once things are officially known. Really don't want to make a big deal out of it.

And, hopefully, it won't change much. There are a few people I think might start giving me the cold shoulder, but that's about it. My darkest fears are silly, and would require someone in upper management to care enough for a long enough time to slowly orchestrate a campaign of shuffling me into less important roles until they have an excuse to eject me... and seriously, that's not going to happen.

All around, it's a pretty awkward thing. But... that's just how stuff goes. Second puberty for the win! At least this time, I know that awkwardness passes. And it will be good to feel like I don't have to guard against revealing stuff. (Came up the other day, when I felt kind of hemmed in talking to a coworker about some feminist stuff, which of course touches on transfeminist issues for me, and my brain paused for a second to figure out if there were any boundaries to avoid crossing.)

Other news: One month on estradiol (estrogen) now. No obvious changes yet, unsurprisingly. Hopefully there'll be some acceleration in another month-ish when I start on spironolactone (anti-androgen).

Other other shoe news: And I have a new pair of shoes that I think is just at the limit of feminine-but-can-still-get-away-with-wearing-right-now (I wore them to work yesterday). Happy birthday to me (in a couple of weeks).

IMAGE(http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=71129171)

<3

And after all the good stuff is out of the way... there's been a big negative thing going on that I haven't weighed in on yet. Came across a good blog response about it tonight that covers a lot of my feelings on the matter, so I figured I'd link it: At the Edge of Night: Who Owns a Woman’s Truth?. (Regarding the Chloe Segal / Allistair Pinsof thing.) Short form: I do not understand how anyone with even an ounce of human sympathy could think it's reasonable to publicly out someone who has just attempted suicide and is in the hospital, no matter how "good" they imagine their reasons for outing the person are.

(At the same time, I applaud him for actually doing the things a person [em]ought[/em] to do when called on it. I still don't think he understands the moral magnitude of what he did, how utterly wrong it was for him to take this upon himself. But, do read his comment in the replies to the above post.)

I'll just say, those are some awesome, bitchin' shoes.

Aren't they? I usually don't really like wingtips that much, but these are like... [em]uber[/em]-wingtips! Also the toes taper nicely, which is great. (Most men's oxfords that are more pointy are also insanely long, and I don't exactly want my feet to look [em]bigger[/em].) And, the heels are wood and make a great "tap, tap, tap" sound when you walk. Although it does make me a bit self-conscious to have my shoes shouting "look at these shoes, are they not [em]awesome[/em]?!?" just because I'm walking around.

P.S. I love you all. There is more amazing here than you know. You give me hope, because you remind me that as people grow up, and experience more things, they learn that the world is more wonderful than they can imagine. That the things they never expected are in fact surprisingly great. That they can be happy for no other reason than that other people are happy.

Don't stop being great.

Hypatian wrote:

Don't stop being great. :)

As long as you don't stop being you

Hypatian wrote:

Aren't they? I usually don't really like wingtips that much, but these are like... [em]uber[/em]-wingtips! Also the toes taper nicely, which is great. (Most men's oxfords that are more pointy are also insanely long, and I don't exactly want my feet to look [em]bigger[/em].) And, the heels are wood and make a great "tap, tap, tap" sound when you walk. Although it does make me a bit self-conscious to have my shoes shouting "look at these shoes, are they not [em]awesome[/em]?!?" just because I'm walking around.

I love shoes that make that sound. When I wear them, I hum "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" and think, "That's right, I've got a mind like a diamond and I am picking up ALL the slack. Woo!"

In fact, here, everyone chair dance to this and tap their feet with me!