It's a remnant from Blanchard, Bailey and their ilk. More or less, if you weren't considered sufficiently f*ckable by hetero men they decided there's no way you could ever function as a woman, thus the real-life test. There's zero evidence it improves outcomes post-therapy or surgery and plenty of evidence it puts trans people in actual physical danger.
It's worth noting the WPATH standards of care haven't required an RLE since 2011, but a bunch of doctors and medical bodies (including the NHS) are still hung up on it.
OMG, the "reasonable chub" test does apply to all women, regardless of whether men consider them to be women.
I have to say - It's such a relief to be able to get clothes as Xmas presents that I *actually* like, and can wear openly, without feeling super guilty about it being men's stuff That would either get quietly returned or (more likely) stuffed into a drawer somewhere and conveniently forgotten about, like...basically ever Xmas prior to this one (and to a lesser extent, last year too)*. NOt having that guilt hanging over my head every year is a serious weight off!
*Seriously - I had a clothing cull recently and there was stuff at least a decade old which I had never even bothered to take the labels off.
Nice, Saga! So glad this season treated you well.
I'm considering stopping. I'm so disillusioned with the whole thing. It has just been one miserable experience after the other and there's no real end in sight for it. Just more struggle for more disappointment, but that's life, I guess.
Sorry to hear that Boog I wish I could just say something along the lines of "stick with it, it'll get better" but...I'm in the relatively privileged position of not having an entire upcoming government hostile (or at least, coldly indifferent) to my very existence for at least the next four years, so I feel like I'm not really in any position to make assumptions.
I have no idea if this helps (I'm genuinely terrible at offering 'life advice'), but one thing my own Doctor said to me right before I started transitioning, was that if you feel like it is not working for you right now and you want to slow things down or to take a break from transitioning, that's entirely ok and you shouldn't feel guilty or a failure for doing so.
thanks, psxistyx, but I disagree. I'm a failure. Just as I have always been in life and will always be. Nothing I have ever done has been successful in any facet.
It's sadly a requirement in many places before they will sign off on SRS, the specifics seem to vary by locale but many I've read indicate roughly that 'live as a woman for a year' means try to present as female for a year. It's a rather cruel and harsh requirement given how society tends to treat what they perceive as males presenting femininely but sadly doesn't seem to be a requirement that will go away any time soon.
Does anyone transitioning to be a man or non-binary have to live a year in that target state?
I have had plenty of wasted years of feeling utterly useless in the past, which I'm really only just now in the last couple of years breaking free of (hell, I still live with my parents at 39! for goodness sakes). So I can relate to feeling like that somewhat.
Hang in there though! I don't believe anyone is a complete failure. That's the weasels talking.
Speaking of, make sure to keep talking with folks over in the depression thread. I don't really feel it's my place to post there much, but I do try to check in and see how people are getting on once in a while. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
I'm developing an attraction to men and it's rather new and strange.
There might also be an element of NHS-eyness to it. There are waiting lists for *everything*, and mandatory delays everywhere, presumably to control costs through deferral in the hope that some of those people will change their minds.
Anecdotal example - when we lived there, my wife went to see our GP about getting a referral to a therapist, and was told that she needed to come back in 6 months, and if she was still depressed, then she could get a referral.
Controlling the costs would be my no. 1 assumption. The waiting period isn't for approving the surgery (from what I gathered I already basically have that after this last meeting) it's for releasing the funds to pay for the surgery.
Anecdotal example - when we lived there, my wife went to see our GP about getting a referral to a therapist, and was told that she needed to come back in 6 months, and if she was still depressed, then she could get a referral.
NHS England, right? NHS Scotland is a bit of a state sometimes but compared to what I hear about the service down south it sounds like we've got it relatively lucky, at least for now.
NHS England, right? NHS Scotland is a bit of a state sometimes but compared to what I hear about the service down south it sounds like we've got it relatively lucky, at least for now.
Yup, England. Bristol to be precise. I didn't realize you lot had it a wee bit nicer north of the border. It was a sh*t-show for us.
Yeah, technically NHS Scotland and England are more or less two separate entities and the SNP are considerably friendlier towards national health care than the Tories are.
Not to say that it's all sunshine and ponies for NHS Scotland (the admin side of things is terrible in places) but i feel like we've got it slightly better than other parts of the country for sure.
You know that thing where trans people get fired after coming out? Not for being trans of course. That would be illegal, and besides we are dedicated to inclusion here and have other trans people working here. Instead they find other sh*t to complain about, so they have a reason to get rid of you. That thing.
I feel like the first step was taken earlier today. Hope I'm wrong.
My boss in standup told me I can't be late to standup anymore. Apparently tardiness is going to impact our quarterly conversations in the future.
I do my job and I'm very good at it. And I'm the technical expert on like 3 of the apps this team manages. I'm also working on something separate from the other people on the team so there really isn't much that needs to be shared daily.
I'm so f*cking exhausted. Depression is kicking up again, after a period of finally feeling like it was under control. A demagogue is going to be president and at least 2 of my team members voted for him. Hate crimes are up. I need to get my name change done and at least an orchi, because I have no confidence trans health care will continue to be available.
I also stay late at least once a week.
I'm f*cking exhausted. but no, it's super important I'm there for our useless f*cking meeting.
I'd love to be able to say something positive but I'd be talking out of my ass for all kinds of reasons. I keep wishing I could offer people work opportunities but Ohio.
Just finally got around to updating my name/gender marker on my credit card (I'm an incredible procrastinator sometimes). I'd been putting it 'cause I expected it to be a bit of a struggle to explain over the phone but it only took a matter of seconds and the guy on the phone was incredibly pleasant about it and actually congratulated me when I asked for them to update Mr to Miss.
For being one of those nefarious credit card companies, MBNA are aaaalll right.
Just finally got around to updating my name/gender marker on my credit card (I'm an incredible procrastinator sometimes). I'd been putting it 'cause I expected it to be a bit of a struggle to explain over the phone but it only took a matter of seconds and the guy on the phone was incredibly pleasant about it and actually congratulated me when I asked for them to update Mr to Miss.
For being one of those nefarious credit card companies, MBNA are aaaalll right.
If you can recall the customer service representative you had it might be worth contacting them and giving positive feedback.
Not only will it encourage the person you dealt with to continue being a decent human being, but it will also demonstrate to the card company that not only is this a behavior that is appreciated, but garners positive reactions in the consumer market.
Damn, I didn't even think about that at the time and I'm crap at remembering names. I'll need to keep that in mind in the future.
Awesome it went so smoothly, Pyxistyx!! m0nk3yboy is right, I'd also advise you to give positive feedback, even if you don't remember the name of the representative you spoke to. I'm sure they have logs and track this kind of info.
Your call may have been recorded for training and quality purposes.
I hung out with a friend yesterday, and they were thinking about a new name, so I was helping them brainstorm a bit. They had the basic sounds they were looking for. I looked up if there was a Hebrew word that was close. Turns out there is, and it means "threat, warning", which feels kind of perfect. The word is "iyom". They chose a variant of it, "Ayum".
Just want to thank everyone again for their patience with me. And for all of your donations and help in the past! You are all wonderful.
I went to a rally for trans rights tonight in Pittsburgh, organized by local trans women of color in reaction to the current administration's recent withdrawal of guidance to school districts. Turnout wasn't enormous by "women's march" standards, but it was pretty darned good for a rally specifically for trans rights. A major street was blocked off in front of the City-County Building, and the Mayor of Pittsburgh was among the speakers. We then marched down the street a few blocks for another couple of speakers outside the Federal Building before the rally ended.
All in all, I'm pretty happy with that.
Pittsburgh is a city for ALL. We will continue to protect & defend the rights of our Trans community & all communities. #OnePittsburgh
(Apparently the trans flag also flew over the City of Pittsburgh flag somewhere official today, although I couldn't spot where it was.)
That's wonderful. I cannot imagine that happening anywhere in Ohio except maybe Columbus. I keep saying that if I go east and not west, I think I'd end up in Pittsburgh.
HYPATIAN IS FAMOUS!! <3 And looking gorgeous. Congrats!!
Transgender People Share Photos Of Themselves For #WhatTransLooksLike
Cool
Awesome!
That was a few years ago. Still a nice selection of photos of folks, though.
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