How to Be an All-Inclusive Gender Thread

Good thoughts heading your way. Hope recovery is swift Hypatian!!!!!

Congrats on a successful surgery Hypatian! Happy healing

Been thinking of Hyp all day!! Thanks so much for bringing us some news, Freyja!!!!

Congrats Hyp! I wish you recovery a swift and peaceful recovery!

Congratulations, Hypatian. Here's to hoping for a speedy recovery. *clink* (I have Gentleman Jack, or Southern Comfort. The bar shelf needs restocked!)

Yay!

Hypatian, you have my congratulations and wishes for a speedy recovery!

I hope your recovery goes smoothly Hyp!!

My union, (of which I am an executive) recently raised the question of "Should unions still call workers “brothers” and “sisters”?". My initial instinct is that the use of brother/sister might be (probably is) excluding those who, for whatever reason, don't fall into that binary spectrum. I suggested terms such as "my fellow members" "our coworkers" "our allies", refer to them by name, "our colleagues", "teammates". Am I wrong?

Are there other terms which are more appropriate?

mudbunny wrote:

I hope your recovery goes smoothly Hyp!!

My union, (of which I am an executive) recently raised the question of "Should unions still call workers “brothers” and “sisters”?". My initial instinct is that the use of brother/sister might be (probably is) excluding those who, for whatever reason, don't fall into that binary spectrum. I suggested terms such as "my fellow members" "our coworkers" "our allies", refer to them by name, "our colleagues", "teammates". Am I wrong?

Are there other terms which are more appropriate?

A colleague shared the THIS article on Facebook, and was getting suggestions like "colleagues", "coworkers", "fellow workers", and "comrades". I always feel a bit weird when my union emails call me "brother" just because it's overly familiar, let alone potential gender issues.

That's the article that raised the question in my union as well.

Awesome news Hyp! Congratulations!!!

mudbunny wrote:

I hope your recovery goes smoothly Hyp!!

My union, (of which I am an executive) recently raised the question of "Should unions still call workers “brothers” and “sisters”?". My initial instinct is that the use of brother/sister might be (probably is) excluding those who, for whatever reason, don't fall into that binary spectrum. I suggested terms such as "my fellow members" "our coworkers" "our allies", refer to them by name, "our colleagues", "teammates". Am I wrong?

Are there other terms which are more appropriate?

Comrade

Freyja and I are back home now!

CN: Discussions of my happy feelings about surgery.

Gosh. That was kind of a wild ride. The day after surgery, I definitely had some moments of "wait. wait wait wait. can I think about this a little longer?" (oops, too late.) The pain wasn't overwhelming, but it was rather unrelenting.

But by the time (sixth day after surgery) that I could finally lose the catheter and get the packing out and dilate for the first time... gosh... O_O Recovery is still going to take a while, but I am really happy and excited and just feeling... right. Even if I'm feeling twinges on pain in places that don't so much exist any more.

And now, ten days after surgery, I'm feeling pretty great. Air travel back home was not super easy, but we made it, and now I'm looking forward to the next few weeks of healing and then getting back to my life, but feeling so much more myself. :>

It's an interesting thing. On the one hand, I can really sort of say "it wasn't bothering me that much". On the other... I was doing all of the coping things to deal with it. Looking past it. Thinking around it. Being detached and clinical about it. Now... I'm slowly starting to lose all of those defense mechanisms, as I see clothes fit me right, as I explore my new contours in wonder, as I imagine new things I will feel comfortable doing (a simple one: I've never felt okay about even trying on swim-wear... now, I'll finally be able to think about swimming again. A more complicated thing: this will dramatically change how I'm able to interact with romantic partners, because... I've had to hold back in those situations for a couple of years now... and once I'm healed, not so much.)

Anyway. Wow.

And finally, to share something that a friend of mine who recently had bottom surgery was told by a cis woman friend of hers who is an Ob/Gyn: "Congratulations! ... They leak."

And gosh was she ever right.

Congratulations, Hyp =)

Hypatian wrote:

"Congratulations! ... They leak."

Unfortunately now you're a lifer on team r. i. p. all your favourite panties

Congrats!

yeah congrats

Also, I'm taking notes.

Got a meeting with the psychologist in Glasgow next week where hopefully I'll get their go-ahead for surgery on the NHS *crossing all of the fingers*

Ahhh! Good luck! :>

In the ballpark of NSFW I guess?

https://twitter.com/Choplogik/status...

I don't know why that was made but it made me laugh.

Also, congrats Hypatian!!!!!!!

Congrats Hypatian

Hypatian wrote:

Ahhh! Good luck! :>

Thanks! Buuuuuut....

I went back and checked the confirmation letter they sent for the appointment and it ACTUALLY reads 14th Feb next year Not tomorrow (as I had agreed with the person on the phone when I set up the appointment).

So now I have no idea if the letter is correct or if the phone appointment is correct and they got the letter wrong (although I'm inclined to believe the former). AND they wont be open now until tomorrow morning, so if it DOES turn out to still be tomorrow then there's really not going to be enough time to get down there to make the appointment if I have to hang around to call them first.

Well, crap. At least I re-read it now, not when I was half way through a 350-odd mile car journey. Especially since my folks were going to take the day off work 'unofficially' to give me a lift down there.

Even IF the Feb 14th appointment is correct I'm going to have to reschedule it, because they've set it for 10.30am. (see previous mention of 350+ mile car journey).

I swear, the admin team at that place is possibly the worst I've ever had to deal with. EVERY time I've arranged an appointment down there, something has gone wrong (including but not limited to someone visibly CC'ing every other gender patient's email address into an email newsletter).

That said, I can't believe *I* didn't even register that the date was wrong on the letter. I even copied it into my phone reminder without twigging that it wasn't what was arranged on the phone. Yeesh.

On the plus side, I'm not missing a day of homework like I would otherwise, which given my college workload is probably a good thing. And it's not like this slows down the process since I should technically already be on a waiting list for surgery (I think) but it'll be far enough out that delaying this appointment a month or so wont make too much of a difference.

Still....I am moderately annoyed.

Addendum - not going crazy after all! I suddenly realised my next appointment with my local doctor for my next T blocker shot is on Feb 14th, which is why I had added the date to my phone, not because of THIS appointment.

That still doesn't help with them scheduling the wrong date and time for whatever reason (and it's just one more reason why Feb 14th at 10.30 in Glasgow is of no use to me whatsoever...something I have told these people repeatedly over the phone while setting up previous appointments).

*sigh* What. a. palaver.

Ack! Sorry to hear that.

And as for that twitter video thing: O_O That is... not a use for my new equipment that I had considered.

Holy confusion batman! Apparently my appointment WAS today - the other date was a computer error (it picked up on my next local appointment for some reason)

Anyway...I got lucky and they had a cancellation of a later appointment, so I rescheduled and should theoretically still be able to get down there in time.

Ok. Cool. Appointment completed. Seemed to go well, but I'll have to wait a while for her official feedback. She didn't seem to have any problems issuing a recommendation though from what I could tell.

The only problem - this "live as a woman for a year thing" which is going to delay things most likely since I only technically started that in September. They can't start the ball rolling legally until that happens, so that kinda sucks.

But, at least it doesn't look like there will be any problems when they do, so this is still a step forward. I'll see what my local doc says, since ultimately I think it's his decision when to set things in motion.

So...probably have some idea by my February appointment.

pyxistyx wrote:

The only problem - this "live as a woman for a year thing" which is going to delay things most likely since I only technically started that in September. They can't start the ball rolling legally until that happens, so that kinda sucks.

What a bizarre requirement. What the heck does living as a woman for a year even mean?

It's sadly a requirement in many places before they will sign off on SRS, the specifics seem to vary by locale but many I've read indicate roughly that 'live as a woman for a year' means try to present as female for a year. It's a rather cruel and harsh requirement given how society tends to treat what they perceive as males presenting femininely but sadly doesn't seem to be a requirement that will go away any time soon.

Whew back home so I can finally reply (the problem with travelling between majestic mountain ranges and heather-clad hills....terrible mobile internet access! #scottishproblems).

* * *

While annoying, it's not too bad for me here anyway - there's no stringent expectations put on you as to HOW you present as feminine, so long as you are clearly making some effort on that front (including an official name change which seems to be a bit thing they fixate on). Generally speaking I think everything else went well so it's just a matter of when my local Doctor feels he can get away with pressing ahead with things at his end. I'll know for certain once Sandyford send him up their report, which will probably be in time for my next appointment up here in February, since I get a copy of everything they are telling him.

Also given that I'll still be at college over the entire period this barely registers as a problem for me, since I've not run into a single problem there at all after switching over full time (so it's not REALLY like being cast out into the 'real world' unprepared - one of the reasons WHY I went back to college at this time in the first place).

So yeah. really it's just a waiting game now.

I may need to go back down for a refresher-recommendation if it takes too long but that's mostly a formality I think, just to check up with how I'm doing and to make sure I haven't suddenly changed my mind or anything.

I'm glad that you don't anticipate it being much of a problem It just annoys me that people would judge you and other trans women on whether they've sufficiently "lived as a woman"!