On this thing called "rape culture"

Fair points. I guess I just don't understand if rape is about power more than it is about sex (and I'm not arguing that) why would access to porn reduce reported rapes unless there are other factors at play (such as a culture that encourages women to not report rape).

Nevin73 wrote:

Fair points. I guess I just don't understand if rape is about power more than it is about sex (and I'm not arguing that) why would access to porn reduce reported rapes unless there are other factors at play (such as a culture that encourages women to not report rape).

These things are not mutually exclusive. The reading of rape as "principally about power/aggression" necessarily has to acknowledge that this is a specific desire around "expressing power or agression via the action of rape".

If we're happy to conclude that 'people who are desperate for sex can be sated by pornography' then there's really no reason we shouldn't also entertain the notion that pornography can also sate people with desires to express power/aggression via sex. Ultimately lots of different things or desires will through different people's heads when they view pornography, so pornography has the potential to fulfil different functions for different people beyond a very simple and immediate sexual release.

Nevin, I'm not exactly a good source for pr0n knowledge, but the little I've seen has a lot of dominance behavior in it. Big manly men being forceful with beautiful women who like that. If dominance/power is your thing, maybe that's part of the equation?

I'm certain there's also porn of big powerful women being forceful with men who like that. If having the type of porn that floats your boat is part of the equation, it's a part that's on every side.

But even dominatrix pr0n suffers from serious male-gaze problems. Like I said, I'm not even close to experienced in this (I personally find pr0n funny as all heck, not sexy).

momgamer wrote:

But even dominatrix pr0n suffers from serious male-gaze problems. Like I said, I'm not even close to experienced in this (I personally find pr0n funny as all heck, not sexy).

I am, and I'll just say there's something for everyone out there

Making the rounds on Facebook:

13 Characteristics of a Date Rapist: A List You Need to Share

13 Characteristics of Date/Acquaintance Rapists

Although there is no profile of a typical date or acquaintance rapist, experts have identified behavioral characteristics that tend to be exhibited by date and acquaintance rapists.

1. Displays anger or aggression, either physically or verbally (The anger need not be directed toward you, but may be displayed during conversations by general negative references to women, vulgarity, curtness toward others, and the like. Women are often viewed as adversaries.)

2. Displays a short temper; slaps and/or twists arms

3. Acts excessively jealous and/or possessive (Be especially suspicious of this behavior if you have recently met the person or are on a first or second date.)

4. Ignores your space boundaries by coming too close or placing his hand on your thigh, etc. (Be particularly cognizant of this behavior when it is displayed in public.)

5. Ignores your wishes

6. Attempts to make you feel guilty or accuses you of being uptight

7. Becomes hostile and/or increasingly more aggressive when you say no

8. Acts particularly friendly at a party or bar and tries to separate you from your friends

9. Insists on being alone with you on a first date

10. Demands your attention or compliance at inappropriate times, such as during class

11. Acts immaturely; shows little empathy or feeling for others and displays little social conscience

12. Asks personal questions and is interested in knowing more about you than you want to tell him

13. Subscribes excessively to traditional male and female stereotypes

*excerpt from Beauty Restored: Finding Life and Hope After Date Rape and Adapted from Carol Pritchard’s book, Avoiding Rape On and Off Campus

That's a good start. Maybe this would help in a few ways - that is, for the men who steadfastly remain blind to rape culture because they feel accused of something, one can point to this list and say "are you these things? If not, we're not talking about you.

I think I saw that list once before as titled "How to tell if that guy you know is a f*cking asshole and you should cut them completely out of your life, definitely by tomorrow, but probably immediately would be better. Addendum: You are literally insane if you date him and may wish to explore counseling."

It's a solid list for recognizing scumbags and I'd go on to say if they match 2 or more out of the first 5 - they should be avoided altogether.

It works just fine when reversed as well.

With some minor editing, that would make a decent "how to spot a pick-up artist" list too.

Makes me wish there was an un-capslock translator built into google so I could read it.

Seth wrote:

Makes me wish there was an un-capslock translator built into google so I could read it. :(

My first thought any time I see a link to Film Crit Hulk.

Alien Love Gardener wrote:

http://convertcase.net/

...ALG, you just changed my life for the better.

Legitimately good article, with a few great comments to be taken out by themselves as well (such as the Devil's Advocate stuff at the start), but I'll be honest, I laughed for a solid minute at:

BACK IN COLLEGE, HULK VOLUNTEERED IN A RAPE CRISIS CENTER.

The imagery was just too bizarre. Huge Hulk sitting at a tiny front desk greeting people while hunched over as not to slam his head into the ceiling.

The description of a victim trying to recount their experience - and how it is a common occurrence and one that is easily dismissed or rationalized into "nothing really happened" by others so consistently - however, was not funny in the least.

Bloo Driver wrote:

Legitimately good article, with a few great comments to be taken out by themselves as well (such as the Devil's Advocate stuff at the start), but I'll be honest, I laughed for a solid minute at:

BACK IN COLLEGE, HULK VOLUNTEERED IN A RAPE CRISIS CENTER.

The imagery was just too bizarre. Huge Hulk sitting at a tiny front desk greeting people while hunched over as not to slam his head into the ceiling.

I can imagine HULK SMASHing when hearing the stories of the rape survivors.

That's the best explanation of rape culture I've ever read. Fantastic.

So I read this article this morning:
Why Rape Seems Worse in India Than Everywhere Else (but Actually Isn’t) @ TIME.com
I thought it was rather interesting, and brought certain points to light that I hadn't considered. I'd be curious to find out what the rest of you gang think.

Eleima wrote:

So I read this article this morning:
Why Rape Seems Worse in India Than Everywhere Else (but Actually Isn’t) @ TIME.com
I thought it was rather interesting, and brought certain points to light that I hadn't considered. I'd be curious to find out what the rest of you gang think.

Reads unfortunately like an Indian Tourist Board ad rather than a considered discussion.

Maybe the article would have seemed more useful if it had considered the very different definition of rape in the various countries compared. (Remember all the statistics used are prior to the 2013 bill, so the definition is impressively narrow.). This or a google can get the details.

Street Harassment: Is a Man Running Over a 14-Year Old Girl for Refusing Sex Serious Enough?

We hear about cases like this with dulling regularity and, undoubtedly, we don't hear about even more. Just a smattering of examples:

In San Francisco last year, a man stabbed a woman in the face and arm after she didn't respond positively to his sexually harassing her on the street.

In Bradenton, Fla., a man shot a high school senior to death after she and her friends refused to perform oral sex at his request. I

In Chicago, a scared 15-year-old was hit by a car and died after she tried escaping from harassers on a bus.

Again, in Chicago, a man grabbed a 19-year-old walking on a public thoroughfare, pulled her onto a gangway and assaulted her.

In Savannah, Georgia, a woman was walking alone at night and three men approached her. She ignored them, but they pushed her to the ground and sexually assaulted her

In Manhattan, a 29-year-old pregnant woman was killed when men catcalling from a van drove onto the sidewalk and hit her and her friend.

Last week, a runner in California -- a woman -- was stopped and asked, by a strange man in a car, if she wanted a ride. When she declined he ran her over twice.

I wanted to pull a good quote from that, then another, and so on, and then I'd be pasting the entire article. Excellent read from start to finish, and only overwhelmingly bleak at the beginning. Thanks for sharing that.

Eleima wrote:

So I read this article this morning:
Why Rape Seems Worse in India Than Everywhere Else (but Actually Isn’t) @ TIME.com
I thought it was rather interesting, and brought certain points to light that I hadn't considered. I'd be curious to find out what the rest of you gang think.

I agree with Cod. That seems fairly poorly written and lacking any real supporting evidence. Which I consider par for Time.
For example the claim that their media recorded "each and every" rape. Right there I call BS.
Cod also has a very good point about definitions.

While Cod and Realithack have good points about the writing and numbers, I did think that the protests deserved a nod.

Eleima wrote:

While Cod and Realithack have good points about the writing and numbers, I did think that the protests deserved a nod.

I hadn't really been following them that closely, but reading up on the 2013 changes to the Indian rape laws that resulted from the protests, it does seem to be a sizable step in the right direction.

Absolutely! I'm not saying it's perfect, and I won't be going back there any time soon (mostly because of sanitary reasons, though, being pregnant and/or with small children in tow), but at least things are going in the right direction. It's still lightyears ahead of what's going on in next door, in Pakistan or Afghanistan.
And to be brutally honest, I've been following American and French news for a while now, and I've never seen anti-rape protests (for lack of a better term) on such a comparably large scale. Except *maybe* for the Ni Putes Ni Soumises (Neither Whores nor Doormats) protest back in 2003 (and those were walks against "plain" violence against women, with no more than 30,000 people, more or less). Or maybe the annual Walks to Prevent Violence Against Women, but I have no numbers on those.

One mother's crusade against "revenge porn"

I know often we want to blame the victim for sending a sexy photo to a boyfriend, etc. But this was a matter of getting her account hacked, which is a personal violation in itself. Then to get the death threats and rape threats, people surveilling the house...

Moore maintained that his victims were sluts, asked to be abused and deserved to lose their jobs, embarrass their families and find themselves forever ruined. Below photos on the site, his followers posted crude and mysogynistic remarks. Victims were taunted as "fat cows," "creatures with nasty teeth," "ugly whores," "white trash sluts" and "whales." One commenter said, "Jesus, someone call Greenpeace and get her back in the water." The website was not about pornography; it was about ridiculing and hurting others.

I thought this was a well told tale that people in this thread might appreciate. If you liked it, please consider liking or commenting to the artist on tumblr.
Source: http://fanoudraws.tumblr.com/post/68...

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Thanks for sharing, Songbird. At first, I was thinking "this should be in the feminism thread", and then I hit the part about the sexual abuse at 16. I'd been disappointed before, but that was an unexpected blow (I expected the gender slurs, having engaged in non "girly" pastimes as a teen, namely the computer club).
Good for her for putting the word out, and still hope that things can change for the better.

And for someone whose mother tongue isn't English, I think she did a great job.

Right in the feels.
Ug.