Finally made it home. It's 5pm Monday. We were at the hospital since 7am Sunday. Mrs Prozac is still there for the foreseeable future.
I cannot stress enough how awe inspiring and magnificent Mrs Prozac is.
She went right through until about 1am without any piankillers, no epidural, no pethidene, no gas, nothing more than sitting under a hot shower in the birthing suite!
She was determined to have a natural birth and her efforts were truly magnificent!
Unfortunately it was not to be...
At about 2:30am the doctor (who was a cold bitch) made the call that they would try to vacuum the baby out in theatre. This meant a spinal tap.
I was separated from Mrs Prozac who was taken into the theatre while I put on scrubs.
Now full disclosure, Mrs Prozac suffers from claustrphobia, massive amounts of anxiety and cannot stand loss of control, she suffers severe panic attacks.
I was forced to wait out in the corridor while all I could hear were her screams and cries, it broke my heart and the feeling of sheer helplessness to protect my loved one was overwhelming, I'd happily cross post this in the manly tears of manliness thread.
After the fact I was informed that she was held down by 4 orderlies and was unable to move, then suffered drug induced paralysis to the lower half of her body, taking control away from her.
Finally I was allowed into the theatre while they tried to vacuum my son from his valiant mother. I was able to calm her, thankfully.
After multiple attempts at the vacuum, the surgeon made a cut, that if it were to happen to a man would result in homicide, suicide, or both.
Continued vacuum attempts were unsuccessful.
Mrs Prozac was forced into a cesarean, the one thing she wanted to avoid above all others. she succumbed to a massive panic attack and I had to convince the doctors to give her general anaesthetic. They thought the issue was that she was worried that she'd feel them cutting into her flesh, which was blocked by hte spinal tap, they didn't realise the issue was the severe amounts of trauma and terror that they had subjected her to!
I was ejected from the theatre and forced to wait outside. Manly tears of manliness ensued.
at 3:23am, almost 24 hours after the ordeal had begun I was taken into a second room to meet my son while they put together the broken pieces of his mother.
I will admit that the event was eclipsed by my concern for Mrs Prozac and it wasn't until I could present him to her several hours later that I was able to enjoy the moment or form any kind of connection.
While Mrs Prozac failed in her goal she strived fantastically and made a herculean effort.
There is no shame in striving so hard and coming up short.
She is a remarkable woman,
She is strong in the broken places,
She is my Hero.