Post a news story, entertain me!

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/06/19/...

What was believed to be the sixth human foot to wash up on the shores of British Columbia in recent months proved to be a fake, authorities said Thursday.

A "skeletonized animal paw" had been placed in a sock and athletic shoe that was packed with dried seaweed, the British Columbia Coroners Service announced.

"She's very lovable and, although she's not a human, she can act like a real girlfriend."

There are so many places to go with that, but I think they all lead to trouble.

Ryanair CEO announces that international business class will include beds and... free oral sex?

tanstaafl wrote:
Ryanair CEO announces that international business class will include beds and... free oral sex?

I have a sudden urge to fly to Europe.

tanstaafl wrote:
Ryanair CEO announces that international business class will include beds and... free oral sex?

"Terrible sex life in Germany!"

wordsmythe wrote:

"She's very lovable and, although she's not a human, she can act like a real girlfriend."

There are so many places to go with that, but I think they all lead to trouble.

Dibs on the first Lucy Liu version.

Ninja sighting locks down schools along [Jersey] Shore

http://www.mycentraljersey.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080625/STATE/80625024

They should've remembered that if you can see him, then he's not a real ninja.

Spray on skin gun shoots stem cells to heal wounds in a matter of hours(supposedly): http://gizmodo.com/5019710/spray-on-...

A "gold" doubloon to the person who finds the video footage of this!

He was eventually captured inside a service entrance next to The Hall of Springs nearby after he tripped over the lower extremities of the costume, and was promptly arrested by Saratoga Springs Police.

I'm going into a meeting now and I'm going to be chuckling through the whole thing picturing this guy tripping on his balls.

Judge rejects a man's attempt to change his name to "f*ck Censorship". Rumor has it he settled for "Hugh Jass."

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe...

A military shooting demonstration in southeast France on Sunday left 16 people wounded, including children, when real bullets were used instead of blank ones, officials said.

http://www.wral.com/news/local/story...

Durham, N.C. — A Durham couple charged with kidnapping, rape and assault was involved with a satanic cult, a prosecutor said on Monday.

...

Johnson, who was third vice-chair of the Durham County Democratic Party and vice-chair for the Young Democrats, was charged with two counts of aiding and abetting. Prosecutors said she knew her husband planned the crime and watched as they were committed.

She has resigned her positions with the Democratic Party, said state Sen. Floyd McKissick, D-Durham.

Dr_Awkward wrote:
Nice kid.

Somehow video games are going to get blamed.

Ingrid Belecourt rescued from Columbian guerillas after 7 years.

The shortest and strangest story I've ever read.

http://www.wwmt.com/news/sauce_13508...

subaltern wrote:
The shortest and strangest story I've ever read.

http://www.wwmt.com/news/sauce_13508...

If you read it like a haiku it's even more entertaining.

The guy told officers he covered himself in barbecue sauce because he wanted to hide from the government.

Does anyone know if this really works?

http://www.claytoncramer.com/weblog/...

A Potter Valley woman wounded herself and a man July 3 while attempting to kill mice with a .44-caliber Magnum revolver, according to the Mendocino County Sheriff's Office.

The bullet went through the woman's right kneecap, then hit keys hanging on the belt loop of a 42-year-old man in the trailer, officials said. The bullet glanced off the keys and tore a hole in the man's pants.

The bullet grazed the man's groin before stopping in his coin pocket, where it was recovered for evidence, according to the Sheriff's Office.

"You gotta ask yourself, 'Do I feel lucky?' Well do you, mouse?"

I have this idea for a bullet-proof vest made entirely from keys.

http://cityhallblog.dallasnews.com/a...

Commissioner Kenneth Mayfield, who is white, said it seemed that central collections "has become a black hole" because paperwork reportedly has become lost in the office.

Commissioner John Wiley Price, who is black, interrupted him with a loud "Excuse me!" He then corrected his colleague, saying the office has become a "white hole."

That prompted Judge Thomas Jones, who is black, to demand an apology from Mayfield for his racially insensitive analogy.

Quintin_Stone wrote:
The guy told officers he covered himself in barbecue sauce because he wanted to hide from the government.

Does anyone know if this really works?

If it does, all I can say is, WTFBBQ Awesomesauce.

Quintin_Stone wrote:
I have this idea for a bullet-proof vest made entirely from keys.

Are you the Key Master?

wordsmythe wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:
I have this idea for a bullet-proof vest made entirely from keys.

Are you the Key Master?


WRONG THREAD!

But actually, yes. That's what they called me when I worked at Ace.

Many threads intermingle on the GWJ loom!

The Koala's Name Is "Lucky"

A koala that cheated death after being hit by a car at 100 kmh (about 60 mph) and dragged with his head jammed through the vehicle grill for 12 kms (about 7 miles) is being dubbed Australia's luckiest marsupial.

The eight-year-old male koala, named "Ely 'Lucky' Grills" by rescuers, was struck by an unwitting motorist north of Brisbane and found only when the car stopped after being flagged down by another vehicle.

"To have him survive and virtually unscathed is quite miraculous," Australian Wildlife Hospital spokewoman Carolyn Beaton told Reuters Tuesday.

"Lucky" hung on during his ordeal with one arm and his trapped head, and was freed with household scissors used like a fireman's "jaws-of-life" to cut around the car's mesh grill with the horrified owner's permission, Beaton said.

"Whilst Lucky was in shock, he quickly recovered and was nearly better after a couple of hours rest and a feed," she said.

Lucky will stay at the hospital, set up by the late television wildlife and crocodile crusader Steve Irwin, for 45 days to recover from his experience and receive treatment for a chlamydial infection.

Ely has chlamydia?