Post a news story, entertain me!

sometimesdee wrote:
groan wrote:

RE: Bilingual dogs, This and That is a satire site.
Just sayin'.

Color me fooled. I figured it was legit because it was Quebec.

FTFY

Although the tip-off should have been that it was Montreal, and not... any other city in Quebec.

Of course, if it were Montreal, the dogs would only need to know French.

sometimesdee wrote:

Of course, if it were Montreal, the dogs would only need to know French.

How so? Montreal is the most Anglicized city in Quebéc

From the "duh" department: Little to No Link Between Video Games and Gun Murders

In fact, the study seems to suggest the opposite... gun violence decreases with video game popularity.

Mantid wrote:

From the "duh" department: Little to No Link Between Video Games and Gun Murders

In fact, the study seems to suggest the opposite... gun violence decreases with video game popularity.

Compelling evidence. But wait! I have an even more compelling rebuttal. Imagine you are a politician, probably white, probably wealthy, probably in the pocket of more than one lobby group. Which of the following would you want to tackle, to combat violent crime? You can choose as many or as few as you like:

a) Gun control
b) Mental health care
c) Socioeconomic disparity
d) Institutionalized racism
e) Video games

Zork Creators Honored With Pioneer Award

The entertaining part? The interview is presented as a text adventure.

MeatMan wrote:

Zork Creators Honored With Pioneer Award

The entertaining part? The interview is presented as a text adventure.

Very nifty! And I scored 350/350 in 33 turns.

Australia and New Zealand Confirm That the World Didn’t End on December 21

The predictable excuses of already begun, at the moment the believers are mostly hedging their bets on timezones but after that I've no doubt we'll see more of the usual failed-apocalypse bingos.

krev82 wrote:

Australia and New Zealand Confirm That the World Didn’t End on December 21

The predictable excuses of already begun, at the moment the believers are mostly hedging their bets on timezones but after that I've no doubt we'll see more of the usual failed-apocalypse bingos.

Interesting that they're hedging their bets on timezones, but not on leap years, which the Mayans didn't know about, and without which, December 21, 2012 would've been approximately 7 months ago.

Study: Squeezing breasts can prevent cancer — yes, really

Teenage boys have been waiting for this news for years.

According to a new study, squeezing breasts can prevent cancer. Yes, really.

More specifically, the, ahem, fresh research from UC Berkeley and Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory found that mechanical force can stop the rapid growth of cancer cells as well as guide them back to a normal, healthy growth pattern.

Nevin73 wrote:

Study: Squeezing breasts can prevent cancer — yes, really

Teenage boys have been waiting for this news for years.

According to a new study, squeezing breasts can prevent cancer. Yes, really.

More specifically, the, ahem, fresh research from UC Berkeley and Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory found that mechanical force can stop the rapid growth of cancer cells as well as guide them back to a normal, healthy growth pattern.

I could have sworn I've seen this before... which thread was it on?!

Ah, it was the "things I should have known by now..." thread.

krev82 wrote:

Australia and New Zealand Confirm That the World Didn’t End on December 21

The predictable excuses of already begun, at the moment the believers are mostly hedging their bets on timezones but after that I've no doubt we'll see more of the usual failed-apocalypse bingos.

But those aren't even real countries so they don't count.

Quintin_Stone wrote:

But those aren't even real countries so they don't count.

We are real! Really!

Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
krev82 wrote:

Australia and New Zealand Confirm That the World Didn’t End on December 21

The predictable excuses of already begun, at the moment the believers are mostly hedging their bets on timezones but after that I've no doubt we'll see more of the usual failed-apocalypse bingos.

Interesting that they're hedging their bets on timezones, but not on leap years, which the Mayans didn't know about, and without which, December 21, 2012 would've been approximately 7 months ago.

I don't actually believe the world is ending, but let me play devil's advocate here- the time zone is important because all this is based loosely on Mayan mythology. Since he entirety of Mayan culture is located in gmt -5 and -6, then the world wouldn't "end" until the 21st in those time zones.
Also, leap years don't matter because we are going off their calendar, and the date of dec 21st is just the equivalent date in the western calendar. Unless the anthropologists who translated their calendar forgot that leap years exist in the Roman calender then it's already been taken into account.

Anyway. See you all on the 22nd.

MikeSands wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:

But those aren't even real countries so they don't count.

We are real! Really!

Which is exactly what the body snatchers the Mayans were warning us about would say to get the real countries to let their guard down for the next six hours.

Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
krev82 wrote:

Australia and New Zealand Confirm That the World Didn’t End on December 21

The predictable excuses of already begun, at the moment the believers are mostly hedging their bets on timezones but after that I've no doubt we'll see more of the usual failed-apocalypse bingos.

Interesting that they're hedging their bets on timezones, but not on leap years, which the Mayans didn't know about, and without which, December 21, 2012 would've been approximately 7 months ago.

The Mayans didn't know about leap years, but they did know about tracking time by the sun and moon cycles and that is where Dec. 21 2012 came from.

It's a common story. Kid finds some eggs while playing outside. Kid keeps eggs and puts them in a container in his sock drawer. Eggs hatch.

Into deadly venomous snakes

tanstaafl wrote:

It's a common story. Kid finds some eggs while playing outside. Kid keeps eggs and puts them in a container in his sock drawer. Eggs hatch.

Into deadly venomous snakes

You missed the part of the story where this took place in Australia. Anything that comes out of an egg in Australia is deadly venomous. If you take a chicken egg over the border it hatches as a cockatrice.

Yonder wrote:
tanstaafl wrote:

It's a common story. Kid finds some eggs while playing outside. Kid keeps eggs and puts them in a container in his sock drawer. Eggs hatch.

Into deadly venomous snakes

You missed the part of the story where this took place in Australia. Anything that comes out of an egg in Australia is deadly venomous. If you take a chicken egg over the border it hatches as a cockatrice.

Hell, the kid who found the eggs was probably venomous as well.

Why is Yahoo news the worst news? OLRTXT WASH MEAST AF POL GEN DIP SY LIST1 PK USAMA US CTXT IR (caps theirs too)

Miashara wrote:

Why is Yahoo news the worst news? OLRTXT WASH MEAST AF POL GEN DIP SY LIST1 PK USAMA US CTXT IR (caps theirs too)

BTW, there seems to be a European counterpart: OLRTXT EZ ECB EUROP EZC EU LU MCE PLCY DBT GVD DE FR WEU AT

And in other, more comprehensible news:
Surprise Santa gets passed on from neighbor to neighbor

sometimesdee wrote:

Porn found on a 5-year-old's 3DS
Yay GameStop!

Pearl-clutching Father wrote:

"You can't unsee this he's 5 years old maybe when he's 18 or 20 maybe he won't know anything about it but he's not going to forget about this tomorrow," Giles said.

If this guy finds out that not only does his childrens' mother have nipples, but the kids have done more than just see them, I think he may literally die.

FETCH MY PHONEBOOK!

sometimesdee wrote:

Porn found on a 5-year-old's 3DS
Yay GameStop!

I'd say Gamestop already made things right!

Spoiler:

Frankly, I don't see where all the drama is coming from. Sex is perfectly normal and natural. You'd think Mr. Giles would be glad that Santa saved him the trouble of bringing up the topic at some point.

Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
sometimesdee wrote:

Porn found on a 5-year-old's 3DS
Yay GameStop!

Pearl-clutching Father wrote:

"You can't unsee this he's 5 years old maybe when he's 18 or 20 maybe he won't know anything about it but he's not going to forget about this tomorrow," Giles said.

If this guy finds out that not only does his childrens' mother have nipples, but the kids have done more than just see them, I think he may literally die.

FETCH MY PHONEBOOK!

The kid is 5. If he remembers it in a week as anything other than his dad taking away his new 3DS for a day, I'll be impressed.

Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
sometimesdee wrote:

Porn found on a 5-year-old's 3DS
Yay GameStop!

Pearl-clutching Father wrote:

"You can't unsee this he's 5 years old maybe when he's 18 or 20 maybe he won't know anything about it but he's not going to forget about this tomorrow," Giles said.

If this guy finds out that not only does his childrens' mother have nipples, but the kids have done more than just see them, I think he may literally die.

FETCH MY PHONEBOOK!

Yes, I did find the father's tears to be quite amusing. Perhaps he was so upset because it was gay porn and it gave him a woody.

sometimesdee wrote:
Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
sometimesdee wrote:

Porn found on a 5-year-old's 3DS
Yay GameStop!

Pearl-clutching Father wrote:

"You can't unsee this he's 5 years old maybe when he's 18 or 20 maybe he won't know anything about it but he's not going to forget about this tomorrow," Giles said.

If this guy finds out that not only does his childrens' mother have nipples, but the kids have done more than just see them, I think he may literally die.

FETCH MY PHONEBOOK!

Yes, I did find the father's tears to be quite amusing. Perhaps he was so upset because it was gay porn and it gave him a woody.

Damn tell us how you really feel.

I too do think he was a bit over the top and yes I doubt the kid will remember. I can see how the guy would be upset but to really react the way he did is just too much.

This might be the place to point out that I basically learned how to read browsing my dad's hidden stash in the attic. Too many pictures, but the comics were good and to this day I'm not sure if my parents were amused or not with my retelling of the ongoing plots to all of their friends.