Post a news story, entertain me!

The Grim Reaper is a cat.

Cat predicts deaths of nursing home residents

Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours.

Man, I love cheese.

Careful who you photoshop!

LINK

The Article wrote:
As he made his way toward Texas, Fire Controlman 2nd Class Petty Officer Russell Tavares posted photos online showing the welcome signs at several states' borders, as if to prove to his Internet friends that he meant business.

When he finally arrived, Tavares burned the guy's trailer down.

Asshat of the week goes to this teacher.

When not to hyphenate your last name. Slightly NSFW.

A photo from another Aikido wedding.

The original technique name was "koshi nage", and it usually is done without kissing.

AMC theater doesn't carry nickels.

You have to admit, if you're gonna do it, make sure it's done right the first time.

Homeless douchebag inherits $50k.

The Article wrote:
A homeless Miami man who hadn't spoken to his family in nearly two decades was found Friday, after his family made public their effort to track him down and present him with a $50,000 inheritance.

Randy Chapman, 51, was last seen by his family 19 years ago. Back then, he demanded $1,000 to take a test to see whether he could provide a bone marrow transplant for his brother who suffered from leukemia.

He didn't match, and Chapman hadn't talked to them since.

Study shows Iraqis May Experience Sadness When Friends, Relatives Die.

Malor wrote:
Study shows Iraqis May Experience Sadness When Friends, Relatives Die.

"We were struck by how an Iraqi reacts to the sight of the bloody or decapitated corpse of a family member in a not unlike an American, or at the very least a Canadian, would,"

Ha!

wordsmythe wrote:
Malor wrote:
Study shows Iraqis May Experience Sadness When Friends, Relatives Die.

"We were struck by how an Iraqi reacts to the sight of the bloody or decapitated corpse of a family member in a not unlike an American, or at the very least a Canadian, would,"

Ha!

instant classic!

Dr_Awkward wrote:
Good luck, Frenchie.

Future headline: Body of Naked Frenchman Found in Saskatchewan Wilderness.

wordsmythe wrote:
Dr_Awkward wrote:
Good luck, Frenchie.

Future headline: Body of Naked Frenchman Found in Saskatchewan Wilderness.

I don't know that "body" would be an appropriate term. "Smear," maybe. At best, "remnants."

I claim special two-thread posting privileges for this.

DUCT TAPE BANDIT

Not your typical train wreck of a marriage.

And for Rabbit:

Bad plumbing

Biker doesn't realize he lost a leg

Dr_Awkward wrote:
Not your typical train wreck of a marriage.

I'm glad it was a rented train. They tend to be a lot cleaner than your average weekend Blue Line cars.

WHOOP WHOOP CHUMPY ALERT WHOOP WHOOP

Random silliness:

Eggplant angels

Sex toy bank robbery

Not news, but goddam. Bling H2O??

Do you want the Red Shirt treatment?

nihilo wrote:
The Grim Reaper is a cat.

Cat predicts deaths of nursing home residents

Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours.

Follow up.

Four legs. Three men. Two DUI charges. One unusual story.
(Heheh, break pedal)

Baggz wrote:
nihilo wrote:
The Grim Reaper is a cat.

Cat predicts deaths of nursing home residents

Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours.

Follow up.

Can his next of kin sue CNN?

Speaking of CNN, my hate for them generally knows no bounds, but I still read cnn.com for some reason that some expensive psychologist would surely have fun deducing. Anyway, it finally paid off today, with a story about pirates!

Attempted murder in Australia.

a.k.a. Mr. Gilders is a bad mother f**cker!

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599...