And the best [invent your award] of 2012

2012 Invented Categories Awards

In the spirit of 1Dgaf's thread from 2011 year, here is your chance to invent and present awards for the games of 2012. Create as many as you like, make them as silly or as serious as you care to.

http://hatchetjob.libsyn.com/

Here's his 2010 game awards:
http://hatchetjob.libsyn.com/hj90-yo...

I know 1Dgaf's thread started in August and covered games from the year before, but since it's now 2013, I'm going to cover the games you played in 2012. And like Clock's award thread, you can pick any game you started playing in 2012.

Awkward Corpse Ragdoll Award - The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim

Best Use of Giant Purple Dildo Award - Saints Row 3

Best Retro Game of 2012 Award - Legend of Grimrock

Best Burning and Suffocating Simulator - Faster Than Light

Best Breeding Sim - Crusader Kings 2

Best Cocaine bender Murder simulator - Hotline Miami

Best Use Of Subterranean Shark As a Weapon - Saints Row the Third

Quintin_Stone wrote:

Best Breeding Sim - Tokyo Jungle

FTFY

Best Genre Mash-Up: Frog Fractions

Best senselessly exploding bodies - Torchlight 2

Best 3d presentation of 2d graphics - Paper Mario: Sticker Star

Best use of the Jersey Shore cast - the cast of Forza Horizon

Runner-up - the cast of SSX

Best slavery simulation - the pawns in Dragon's Dogma

Best creepy sex simulation - Tokyo Jungle's animal mating

Best Use Of Swearing (and Censoring) - Borderlands 2: Mr. Torgue's Campaign of Carnage

Best Use of Dick Murder - Bulletstorm

Most Hacking - DayZ

Most Secretive Magic Crystals - Secret of the Magic Crystals

Best Heart Eating Simulator: The Darkness 2.

I should read the rules.

Quintin_Stone wrote:

Best Use of Dick Murder - Bulletstorm

Runner Up: Shadow of the Damned?

Best KHAAAAN!!! moment - Losing a Colonel-level squaddie during an XCOM Ironman run.

(Cue the bagpipes.)

Best Use Of Kick 'Em When They're Down - Dead Island
Best Zombie Nad Kicking Sim With Some Other Stuff To Also Do On The Off-chance Kicking Zombies In The Nads Gets Old - Dead Island

I think you should just start the real thread, 1DGaf, and let the usurper's thread pass into history.

1DGaf was slacking. Quintin just gave the people what they wanted.

duckilama wrote:

Best Use Of Kick 'Em When They're Down - Dead Island

Sorry; I think this may also be Bulletstorm.

Best Imaginary Game of 2012 : The Lord of the rings : The Battle for Middle Earth 3

Best Corpse Ragdoll Award - Dishonored (so far, anyway: all my sleeping babies are flopping down in believable positions, with nary a heel against the back of one's head)

Best You-Can-Do-Proper-Wargames-on-the-iPad Game - Autumn Dynasty no wait, Combat Mission: Touch is it no wait, Battle Academy is really it no wait, Battle of the Bulge is really really it

Most Exuberant Game - Thirty Flights of Loving Kickstarter Edition

Best Door Mechanism Management Simulator - FTL

Stengah wrote:

1DGaf was slacking. Quintin just gave the people what they wanted.

Well, there's actually quite a good reason we don't do our awards show until August.

I was a bit confused for a second; normally only I start these threads.

Is it possible to update the first post and link to the HatchetJob.com podcast, Quentin? Because Insert Category is actually the name of our awards show.*

A few years ago I was starting to get annoyed with 'traditional' GOTY shows and best-of lists. So I decided that HatchetJob's award show would be totally different. We started in 2010 taking awards for 2009. (We didn't just ask GWJ people - we're inconsiderate lovers.)

You can hear about how I came up with the idea here:

http://traffic.libsyn.com/hatchetjob...

Skip to 2m:40s.

I tell you what, coming up with the name was a pain the arse. And I think my favourite award of last year was the very NSFW '

Spoiler:

Most c*nting f*ckfest of pointless swearing: Bulletstorm'

* Along with Personal Best, Ugga and Uncategory.

Meanest M*therf*cking Random Number Generator Award - It's a tie! Between Faster Than Light and XCOM: Enemy Unknown

1Dgaf wrote:

I was a bit confused for a second; normally only I start these threads.

Is it possible to update the first post and link to the HatchetJob.com podcast, Quentin? Because Insert Category is actually the name of our awards show.*

A few years ago I was starting to get annoyed with 'traditional' GOTY shows and best-of lists. So I decided that HatchetJob's award show would be totally different. We started in 2010 taking awards for 2009. (We didn't just ask GWJ people - we're inconsiderate lovers.)

You can hear about how I came up with the idea here:

http://traffic.libsyn.com/hatchetjob...

Skip to 2m:40s.

I tell you what, coming up with the name was a pain the arse. And I think my favourite award of last year was the very NSFW '

Spoiler:

Most c*nting f*ckfest of pointless swearing: Bulletstorm'

* Along with Personal Best, Ugga and Uncategory.

Then to avoid confusion, I renamed the thread.

Best Game for Unleasing Suppressed Tears of Manliness: The Walking Dead

Best Drunken Pill-popping Simulator: Max Payne 3

Longest Shambling Walk Segment: Mass Effect 3

Thanks Quintin. With your beauty and my cunning, HatchetJob will change the face of gaming FOREVEREVERERERVER!

Best obvious use of an NPC to emotionally invest the player - Clementine, The Walking Dead

Most-Outclassed-By-the-Competition-It-Helped-To-Inspire: Resident Evil 6

Better-Than-the-Main-Entry-in-The-Series: Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City

Best-Entry-In-The-Series-Since-GameCube: Resident Evil: Revelations

I swear I'll have RE off the brain in a bit. I've just been playing that a lot recently and realized Resident Evil has officially been Out-Resident-Evil'ed by Dead Space.

Quintin_Stone wrote:

Meanest M*therf*cking Random Number Generator Award - It's a tie! Between Faster Than Light and XCOM: Enemy Unknown

There's a metric butt-ton of GW2 players that would like a word with you.

duckilama wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:

Meanest M*therf*cking Random Number Generator Award - It's a tie! Between Faster Than Light and XCOM: Enemy Unknown

There's a metric butt-ton of GW2 players that would like a word with you.

As if GW2 players mattered.

The Everything You Worked So Hard For Yesterday Is Gone Today Award - Planetside 2 (runner up, your day job)

You've Put A Hex On Me: Civ 5, Gods and Kings
Most Ragequits: X-Com
Most Hours Spent On The Runway: A10C Warthog
WTF Is Going On Here: Hotline Miami
Best God Game: Tropico 4. (I wouldn't have issued this award, but El Presidente can be very convinc

Malor wrote:

Most Hours Spent On The Runway: A10C Warthog

Most Time Spend Circling the Carrier Deck Until Fuel Runs Out - Birds of Steel