The Federal Prop. 8 Trial / Gay Marriage Catch-All

But we ignore federal preemption for marijuana and gay marriage (iffy on the last one).

New Jersey Judge: State Must Allow Gay Couples To Marry

In a summary judgment issued Friday, Judge Mary Jacobson says now that the federal government recognizes gay marriages, not doing so in New Jersey would violate the state constitution.

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dejanzie wrote:

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Linux. Operating system for bigots.

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Side note: He said harm to the state (as in the state government), not the people (though that was probably implied).

Secondary side note: This is still stupid, as several other states have instituted it through the judicial branch without ill-effects.

Tertiary side note: Christie also did that when he single-handedly vetoed a same-sex marrage bill that was passed by both houses of the state legislature... soooo, now you're just mad that the judicial branch ruled your call unconstituional... sorry, but that's kind of what checks and balances are for, bro.

Quad...something side note (apparently it's quaternary, but I don't like that word, I feel like it should start with Quad): I can't help but wonder if Christie is trying to make himself more ideologically pure for a presidential run and needs to put his working with Obama there for a while out of people's mind.

Hypatian wrote:

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BOOM HEADSHOT!

Pa. gov: Gay marriage is like marriage of siblings

The smile on his face when he says it is for extra asshole!

Chairman_Mao wrote:

Pa. gov: Gay marriage is like marriage of siblings

The smile on his face when he says it is for extra asshole!

Apparently he meant it in the way that there are laws on the books which say that both are not acceptable in the state of Pennsylvan... I'm sorry, I couldn't finish that thought without my mind thinking he is just a moron who needs to realize he's not living in the 50s.

Ugh. Corbett. T_T

So; apparently the Olympic flame disapproves of the policies in Russia. It went out on it's relay while in Russia and had to be re-lit by a man with a lighter.

Kremlin Flameout

Found this on Twitter, nice central location for keeping tabs on in-progress litigation: http://www.freedomtomarry.org/litiga...

NSMike wrote:

Found this on Twitter, nice central location for keeping tabs on in-progress litigation: http://www.freedomtomarry.org/litiga...

Good source of info. http://www.freedomtomarry.org/states/

I find the Iowa, Minn., Illinois midwestern bloc interesting.

I'd just like to throw out there that good friend and her partner are getting married in DE next week. They live in New Jersey but thanks to the decision released by the Department of the Treasury, their marriage will count on the federal level. f*ck you, Governor Christie.

Nevin73 wrote:

I'd just like to throw out there that good friend and her partner are getting married in DE next week. They live in New Jersey but thanks to the decision released by the Department of the Treasury, their marriage will count on the federal level. f*ck you, Governor Christie.

If they could wait 11 days, they can say an even louder FU to Christie, as same-sex marriage should be happening through the courts at that point.

NJ Judge Denies Same-Sex Marriage Delay

So; I'm thinking about asking my partner to marry me on our 7th year anniversary this month. We live in Kansas so we would get limited state rights but the federal rights including tax and social security would help us long term. I also know that Kansas will eventually recognize us or work may take us to another state that recognizes our marriage.

Does anyone else have experience with marriage in a state that does not recognize it? Is it something I should avoid? We would be traveling to Iowa to get married and then return home to Kansas.

RoughneckGeek wrote:
Blondish83 wrote:

So; I'm thinking about asking my partner to marry me on our 7th year anniversary this month. We live in Kansas so we would get limited state rights but the federal rights including tax and social security would help us long term. I also know that Kansas will eventually recognize us or work may take us to another state that recognizes our marriage.

Does anyone else have experience with marriage in a state that does not recognize it? Is it something I should avoid? We would be traveling to Iowa to get married and then return home to Kansas.

The only word of caution I'd throw out there is that if you ever split up, divorce is not an option. I know that's not the most romantic thing to consider when planning on marriage, but divorce requires residence in the state you file in. If you live in a state that does not recognize your marriage you cannot get a divorce.

See, I was gonna say that, but the not the most romantic part kind of killed it for me. I just couldn't post that when they're super in love.

RoughneckGeek wrote:
Blondish83 wrote:

Does anyone else have experience with marriage in a state that does not recognize it? Is it something I should avoid? We would be traveling to Iowa to get married and then return home to Kansas.

The only word of caution I'd throw out there is that if you ever split up, divorce is not an option. I know that's not the most romantic thing to consider when planning on marriage, but divorce requires residence in the state you file in. If you live in a state that does not recognize your marriage you cannot get a divorce.

Apparently this varies by state. According to Wikipedia:

When Delaware and Minnesota legalized same-sex marriage in May 2013, they gave their respective state courts the authority to conduct divorce proceedings in cases where a same-sex couple married in the state but neither party resides in a state that recognizes their marriage.

I'm not sure what exactly Iowa's stance on it is or how likely Kansas is to change in the near future, or even what the residency requirements are to get married in DE or MN, but at least it's a place to start looking.

Thanks everyone; that part of my consideration. After 7 years together, we've clearly been able to make this work without marriage and we're long past the 'madly in love' stage and settled into domestic life together. Everyone in our personal lives treats us as married anyways. I'm just looking at the practical standpoint of federal benefits and rights.

Iowa is a 1 year residency requirement to be eligible for divorce; but I also think that after 7 years together that we're not likely to dissolve anytime before we see all states forced to adopt same-sex marriages on the local level as well. I will also look into other states divorce requirements for consideration on location where we will get married.

Edit - I spoke with the couple we know that is getting married in DC this December and now I see why they are doing this. The new DC law that removed the residency requirement for divorce allows same-sex marriages to be dissolved only with a court order and showing up to the DC court hearing.

http://www.galperlaw.com/gay-law-report/gay-divorce-non-resident/

Keldar wrote:
RoughneckGeek wrote:
Blondish83 wrote:

Does anyone else have experience with marriage in a state that does not recognize it? Is it something I should avoid? We would be traveling to Iowa to get married and then return home to Kansas.

The only word of caution I'd throw out there is that if you ever split up, divorce is not an option. I know that's not the most romantic thing to consider when planning on marriage, but divorce requires residence in the state you file in. If you live in a state that does not recognize your marriage you cannot get a divorce.

Apparently this varies by state. According to Wikipedia:

When Delaware and Minnesota legalized same-sex marriage in May 2013, they gave their respective state courts the authority to conduct divorce proceedings in cases where a same-sex couple married in the state but neither party resides in a state that recognizes their marriage.

I'm not sure what exactly Iowa's stance on it is or how likely Kansas is to change in the near future, or even what the residency requirements are to get married in DE or MN, but at least it's a place to start looking.

Thanks; I have considered MN as it's not too far of a travel but was not aware of their change to allow the courts in MN to consider divorces in non-resident states if the couple married in their state.

Oh hey, marriage equality comes to New Jersey on Monday.

We Get to Keep a Thing We Won! New Jersey Will Start Marrying Same-Sex Couples On Monday (Autostraddle)

Posted mainly for the "I'm gonna marry the sh*t outta some gays." caption. I <3 autostraddle.

Also this note:

... one-third of Americans will officially live in a place where same-sex marriage is legal.

I just finished reading "On Being Different: What it Means to Be a Homosexual", and I have to say, I'm compelled to do more research. Of course I have a passing familiarity with the Stonewall riots and the idea of oppression, but the way this book was written made me feel vastly uncomfortable about just how different things were not so long ago. Thanks to a lot of references in the footnotes and citations of this book, I've got a bunch more reading to do.

In addition to this, the Afterword mentioned a number of things about living through the AIDS epidemic, with a terrifying analogy that made me consider it in a new light that I hadn't even remotely thought of before. I'm curious if anyone has any suggested readings about this topic. I technically lived through some of the most terrifying parts of the AIDS epidemic, but I was much too young to entirely perceive it beyond it being something distant and scary. Contemporary insight would be enlightening.

NSMike wrote:

In addition to this, the Afterword mentioned a number of things about living through the AIDS epidemic, with a terrifying analogy that made me consider it in a new light that I hadn't even remotely thought of before.

Stop being such a tease, what was it?

Well, I'll just quote it in full. He quoted himself in the afterword to the book I linked above, but originally it's from The Gay Metropolis by Charles Kaiser.

Charles Kaiser wrote:

If you are a sexually active gay man in America, being alive at the beginning of this epidemic feels like standing without a helmet on the front line of a shooting war. Friends are falling all around you, but no one even knows where the bullets are coming from. There are no weapons to defend yourself, no medicines for the wounded, and if you want to flee, when you start running you won't know whether your own wounds are fatal - or nonexistent.... At the beginning, there was nothing but terror and mystery.

I would highly recommend the documentary from last year, "How to Survive a Plague". I found it to be a factual understanding of the AIDS epidemic and does a good job of respecting the emotion but not being encumbered by it.

I also used to love to watch episodes of In the Life on PBS. Sadly it ended a 20 year run this last December, but it was a great show on the history of gay rights and the fights surrounding them. If you can watch some archived episodes there are some amazing pieces of documented history.

I knew some homosexuals before college (all deeply in the closet, I only knew because my father was their pastor), but in the early 80's one of my best friends was gay. I didn't know it for quite a while; he was bi initially, but dropped that after he became uncomfortable with his female relationships.

We were in arguably the single most progressive college in the country, in a college town where pretty much anything went, but he and his friends still worked very hard to stay in the closet. And the AIDS epidemic was as described. People commonly thought you could get it by touching someone, or sharing food, or the like. It was terrifying for the gay community, especially with the bath house culture (15 or more hookups in a weekend, sometimes, according to my friend) still in full swing in NYC.

Matt died after he graduated from MIT and had moved to Ann Arbor, MI to take up an academic post, shortly into his first semester there. He died of a sudden illness, but I believe it was AIDS related, given his previous physical condition over the years. His boyfriend kept me in the dark for years out of some kind of weird jealousy. I always regretted not having the chance to talk to him after he had graduated, outside of a few short phone conversations. I always figured there'd be time, though.

He'd be very happy with recent results, though.

NSMike wrote:

Well, a Christian heckler disturbed the first gay wedding in New Jersey, but, in other news, the Christie administration dropped their challenge to same sex marriage.

Number 14.

To be fair, he was only legitimately responding to the question asked if anyone was opposed...

Seriously though, it makes me sad when people act like jerks in the name of the biggest non-jerk in the history of the universe.