Gaming Confessions & Blasphemy

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Pretty much what the title suggests. Do you have any thoughts, opinions, or comments that go against the current accepted gaming zeitgeist? Have a bone to pick with a certain franchise, let em fly. No holds barred. Just want to get some things off your chest, I want to hear it.

I'll start us off.

1. I have never finished a Zelda game.

I've always liked what the series offered, and I completely understand the love, it's just never worked out between us. I was too young to really understand what the original was about. I couldn't afford the SNES growing up so I missed Link to the Past. The only one I've ever owned was Wind Waker, which I got a few years after release. I was out of college and working by that time, so I didn't have the to devote to it and ended up lending it to a friend, who subsequently destroyed it. I'd love to get a chance to go back and tackle a few of them at some point, I just don't see it happening anytime soon.

2. I never finished Bioshock.

From what I hear, I'm about half way. I love the atmosphere and setting and everything you always hear, but I didn't like the combat that much. The difficulty swings too wildly for me. I go from mowing down rooms full of splicers to being killed 7 times by a Big Daddy before I've worn it down enough to finish it off. Maybe I'm not tactical enough, or I'm using the wrong plasmids/ammo, or maybe I'm just bad at the game. Whatever it was, ultimately, it just stopped being fun, so I stopped playing. I'll eventually get back to it, just not sure when.

3. I prefer to play Bethesda games in the 3rd person POV.

I just cannot do 1st person melee focused combat. I don't know why, it just doesn't work with my brain. I feel like I'm just flailing around wildly, not sure what or if I'm hitting. It can look a little wonky, but it's something I have to do to get through. I thought it was much better in Skyrim than in previous titles.

I can sort of understand the first 2. Zelda games get pretty hard near the end. BioShock, for me at least, became less interesting around the final quarter of the game. But 3rd person POV? I wonder if it's an age thing. Not implying anything against you, but how old are you? I always thought gamers that cut their teeth on shooters in the '1990's were more comfortable with 1st person games, because it was either that or top-down perspective.

1) I think that Half-Life 2 has a bad physics model and poor, repetitive puzzles.
The game only has one puzzle, "find the see-saw," and it makes you do it over and over. Also, I don't like the way that you (the character model) interact with the world. Things don't match up visually with the collision detection. I'm pretty broad-shouldered, but I don't bump into doorways or walls 3 feet from my head. I also don't bump into boxes I'm holding out at arms' length in front of me.

2) I think that Gears of War has the material for an interesting story buried deep, deep, deep under piles of its awful writing.
The subtext of Marcus's story is all about political trials, oppressive government actions, a military that has taken over a society, etc. I would have really enjoyed a game that could do justice to the backstory of how Marcus ended up in prison, or how the Stranded were mistreated by the military. Shame that 99% of what we ever get on the screen is fist-bumping and lantern jaws.

3) I am perfectly fine with the intentions behind Mass Effect 3's ending.
Yeah, I said it.

1. What's a Zelda?
Never played any of them.

2. I don't care for Homeworld.
For people who were playing PC games in the late '90s, Homeworld was a landmark game. And I should like it, it has everything I like about games: strategy, spaceships, good story. But, it just never grabbed me, even though I have tried multiple times since it came out to get into it. Maybe it's the 3D space the game operates in never clicked with my old monkey brain.

3. I don't care for Thief (or any other stealth-focused game).
For me, stealth is boring. Wait five minutes checking guard routes? Boring. Waiting in the shadows for the right time to sneak to the next hiding place? Boring. Do one wrong thing and set off 100 alarms? Not boring but not fun either. I understand why people might like these games (and Thief's world-building was fantastic) but for me the stealth killed it for me. It always does.

HansomB1derful wrote:

3. I prefer to play Bethesda in the 3rd person POV.

I just cannot do 1st person melee focused combat. I don't know why, it just doesn't work with my brain. I feel like I'm just flailing around wildly, not sure what or if I'm hitting. It can look a little wonky, but it's something I have to do to get through. I thought it was much better in Skyrim than in previous titles.

I only play Bethesda games in 3rd person. Is that a weird thing? I didn't realize. Although I do bounce back into first person for combat, so I guess it's a bit different than you. Might have something to do with the fact that I generally hate 1st person games in general. Also, go play a Link to the Past right now.

Don't have any really juicy ones myself. I think Braid was okay at best except for the music and Bastion was un-affecting and almost boring at times.

tboon wrote:

3. I don't care for Thief (or any other stealth-focused game).
For me, stealth is boring. Wait five minutes checking guard routes? Boring. Waiting in the shadows for the right time to sneak to the next hiding place? Boring. Do one wrong thing and set off 100 alarms? Not boring but not fun either. I understand why people might like these games (and Thief's world-building was fantastic) but for me the stealth killed it for me. It always does.

Weren't you talking about how good Dishonored is? Am I confusing things? That's a stealth game, right?

[That's a lot of unknowns for an accusatory post, haha]

Running Man wrote:

I wonder if it's an age thing. Not implying anything against you, but how old are you? I always thought gamers that cut their teeth on shooters in the '1990's were more comfortable with 1st person games, because it was either that or top-down perspective.

I'm in my early 30's, but you might be onto something. I didn't play a lot of shooters growing up, my family didn't have a home pc until I was 16 and my consoles up until then were an NES and a Genesis. The first shooters I spent a good amount of time with were Goldeneye and Perfect Dark. I was probably about 20 when Perfect Dark came out, by that time my tendencies had most likely been cemented.

tboon wrote:

1. What's a Zelda?
Never played any of them.

Me neither!

SixteenBlue wrote:
tboon wrote:

3. I don't care for Thief (or any other stealth-focused game).
For me, stealth is boring. Wait five minutes checking guard routes? Boring. Waiting in the shadows for the right time to sneak to the next hiding place? Boring. Do one wrong thing and set off 100 alarms? Not boring but not fun either. I understand why people might like these games (and Thief's world-building was fantastic) but for me the stealth killed it for me. It always does.

Weren't you talking about how good Dishonored is? Am I confusing things? That's a stealth game, right?

[That's a lot of unknowns for an accusatory post, haha]

No, Dishonored is certainly not a stealth game. People who talk about it like it is are incorrect. You can play it like a stealth game if you want. But you are not forced to do so, like Thief forces you to play. You want to be a badass, going in guns blazing in Dishonored? Go for it, the game lets you play it like that. too.

I don't like hard games.

If I wanted a challenge, I would do something that has tangible benefit to my life. When I play games, I want to relax.

I'll certainly put up with challenge if the game is entertaining enough, but I see it as a detriment, not a benefit. I play games with guides and maps open on my laptop next to me.

1. I am f*cking sick of FPS devs thinking their game absolutely, positively MUST have sniping in it or it's no good.

Seriously, guys. Sniping is a lot of fun when it's done right, and moderately fun even when it's not, but the world won't end if someone releases an FPS without sniper rifles in it.

I do not have fun when I die and I don't understand what I did wrong.

I think that most story-driven action/FPS games - games like Mass Effect, Deus Ex, Bioshock, Dishonored - are far too long. Give me a tight, well-written 5-6 hour game over a 20-hour slogfest every time. This is why one of my favorite gaming experiences in the last 10 years was Portal - it was the perfect length. Just about the time I was getting tired of the same gameplay mechanics, it was over.

I think it's probably because I don't have the free time available to get invested in a 20+ hour game and stay involved from start to finish. Invariably, I'll have to stop playing for a week or more when I'm part way through the game, and when I come back I've forgotten most of the salient plot points. I don't remember who characters are or why they're important.

As an aside to this, I have no idea why Bioshock is regarded as highly as it is. I played through both Bioshock and Bioshock 2, and thought they were serviceable if forgettable games. I suspect if Bioshock had contained much of the same plot concepts but was half as long, I'd have enjoyed it tremendously. As it is, it felt like an interesting novel marred by wasted chapters of useless backstory and monotonous filler.

I have never played (and never will play) a Zelda or a Final Fantasy game.

That sort of kiddie JRPG thing just isn't my style.

Halo was and always has been a sub-standard shooter that was done well on a console.

Yep, I'm a PC gamer.

I love Easter Eggs

I don't necessarily have to 100% all games I play or even enjoy. But I'll search for every single hidden thing until I find it. Youtube has cut down on my game time because they're all right there. Ask my sister why we enjoyed playing Mario all those years ago. It's the secrets.

1) I thought Limbo was boring.

2) I found Batman:AA to be competent at best. I don't get all the love.

Demyx wrote:

I don't like hard games.

Heh. I have a really hard time enjoying most games that present no challenge with a few exceptions, like Kirby's Epic Yarn.

All right, here we go...

1. I do not like the Batman games (Arkham City / Asylum)

When Arkham Asylum came out, the general consensus I felt was that this was the quintessential Batman game. It was said by a few people from my gaming group that you "felt" like Batman while playing the game. I just felt like it was a beat 'em up that you waited for visual cues from enemies to keep your combo going. Add to that a pretty easy final boss and the whole experience was just kind of 'meh' from me.

2. Even though I have declared myself a Final Fantasy fan, I have only actually finished two of them

I *have* gotten near the end to all of them except IX--I've barely touched that one. I just get to that inevitable final boss fight that I just give up after losing too many long battles.

3. If a game has a sequel, I will buy it. Even if I didn't like the previous version

This is more to just my bad compulsion to buy everything out there than anything else. Example: I have Yakuza 1-4. I have only played about an hour of Yakuza 1. However, I need to complete the set, don't I?

Nevin73 wrote:

Halo was and always has been a sub-standard shooter that was done well on a console.

That's not blasphemy, that's just science!

1. I do not like Team Fortress 2.
I jumped in with a bunch of GWJers and was lost in a second flat. I like my shooters, don't get me wrong. I've put 400+ hours into two Call of Duty games, 70+ hours into the Medal of Honor game, can't remember which one, countless more hours into Planetside 2, etc, etc. But TF2? Ugh. What I didn't like about it was the pressure. I decided since I'm not great a shot in this game I'll play the medic. That's when the requests and suggestions came in on how to play the class. Oh, the pressure, meaning the pressure to do well. Drove me batty-catty.

2. I will never play Bioshock Infinite.
Nope. Nadda for me. Nuh-uh. I've gotten my fill and had good times with Bioshock 1 and especially with Bioshock 2. I feel no need to go back to that style of FPS.

3. I think Portal and Portal 2 are good games.
They are games. That's it. The amount of lavish affection poured onto these games from a section of the populace is troublesome.

I can't stand achievements that are tied to multiplayer
I'm looking at you, Halo:Reach, and having to snag 4 flags in one round of CTF or 10 skulls or whatever for my last 2 achievements.

The only Final Fantasy game I've beaten was FF7
I've made it to the end of FF1, FF6/3, and made decent headway in FF4/2, FF8, FF9, FFT, FFT:A, and dozens of other Final Fantasy games - but the only one I've thoroughly beaten was Final Fantasy 7. Hell, I still have FFX in shrinkwrap in my pile from my PS2 days.

I've never beaten a Pokemon game
Like Final Fantasy, I'm always able to get so close. I'm literally in front of the final fight for Pokemon Black, but my roommates obsession for catching perfect legendarys has me stalled out.

I have a Steam account just to buy games that I'll never play - because I don't have a gaming PC
There's only two games that run decently on the laptop I have from work - FTL and Atomic Zombie Smasher. Everything else in my Steam library is there for "when I build a gaming PC". Including the Elder Scrolls mega-pack of Morrowind, Oblivion, and Skyrim.

I also tried the demo for Batman Arkham Asylum. Didn't care for it.

Mostly because I think Batman is flawed, as in he doesn't kill.

I've never played a Zelda game either. Looks like that may not be such an uncommon thing.

I always play games like fallout 3 and Skyrim in 3rd person. If you fight a lot using sword and shield how else are you meant to enjoy dodging, blocking and running rings around your opponent. I only use 1st person as a sort of zoom mode when using a bow.

I love stealth games and find FPS boring. Shurg. I did enjoy F.E.A.R. but that was because of the horror and the slow time stuff.

All competative multiplayer games are exactly the same. Be it Mass Effect 3, Assassin's creed, Red Dead Redemption or counter strike. I log in and another player kills me. No point to them at all.

On the whole RPG's are geting more and more streamlined and anodyne.

Mass effect 3's ending didn't bother me but the dull missions did.

I actualy enjoy faffing about in an inventory and comparing the stats of weapons and when these things are stripped out I feel it leaves a poorer game.

Strangeblades wrote:

3. I think Portal and Portal 2 are good games.
They are games. That's it. The amount of lavish affection poured onto these games from a section of the populace is troublesome.

Less about the games themselves, but gamers are cargo cultists who far too readily put anything slightly above average or novel on a pedestal, and then wonder why latecomers don't treat the now over-hyped thing like it's the second coming.

As kind of an extension to that:
Some times it's okay to just get the basics right.
Some games, I just want to chew through a shooting gallery and be vaguely entertained. There's some games I want to just occupy my time (don't get me wrong, some, not all). Don't irritate me, just tie your shoelaces correctly, don't s*** your pants, don't drool, and tell a B-movie quality story competently and we'll get on fine. Then I'll uninstall you and never reinstall you again.

MMO's are like STD's.
If you play one we can be in the same room together. We can even have a pleasant conversation or play some cards or something, but if you want to talk about your time spent suffering from the affliction or suggest giving it to me then we are done. No amount of trial-period or free to play will get me past the inherent risk of infection.

I am totally okay with Abstraction! (AKA Why I am done with modern military shooters.)
No really. I'm already accepting that my character is a time-traveling immortal with a campaign kill-count in the multiple-hundreds, and after having somehow absorbed enough lead and shrapnel to construct a submarine with almost no effect on my fighting capabilities, and 'lethal' damage merely forces me back in time a little ways... Why do you insist on making the most disturbing aspects of modern warfare as realistic and visceral as possible? I do not need the knife to hesitate that fraction of a second as it encounters the cartilage in the throat, or the arterial spray to slowly diminish as the 'bad guys' slowly starving brain fires panicky bursts along his nervous system and begins to shut down. I do not need a realistic death gurgle to play in my ears as this spectacle is playing out in choreographed accuracy in front of my screen. I only pressed a single button. This cinematic tour-de-force is not making me proud of this accomplishment.

The original Deus Ex is a terrible game. I thought it was bad then, and I think it's bad now. Would you like to shoot your way through, in a game where the shooting is unfun and the level design and A.I. don't support it well? Maybe you would rather be sneaky, where the mechanics feel poor and the A.I. doesn't support a stealth game very well either? Maybe you would rather be involved in the incredibly tedious hacking? It will help flesh out the competely asinine storytelling! Don't forget to put points into various skills and pretend that it seems to be doing anything of value. Deux Ex - Where you have so many options, none of which are remotely fun!

Obsidian Entertainment has the worst writing of any video game company ever, which is why I find the praise heaped about them confusing beyond belief. In Alpha Protocol it felt like none of the dialogue choices mattered because you came off as the same smug, sarcastic dork no matter what you chose. New Vegas was like Fallout 3 without any heart in it. Don't get me started about the utter tedium that is KOTOR 2.

1. I didn't care when Aerith died. I thought she was a bland, disposable, forgettable character, and I couldn't understand all the in-game or fanboi hoopla. I'M GLAD SHE DIED.

2. Given the option of playing on PC with mouse and keyboard or a 360 controller, I'll take the controller every time. Seriously, f*ck mouse and keyboard. The 360 controller is the most comfortable gaming controller ever created.

3. Portal 2 went on too long. Loved the mechanics and the story was hilarious, but the gameplay itself was better served by the shorter original.

4. I've never listened to the GWJ Conference Call. I'm basically here because of the reasonably polite P&C discussions, the NFL threads, and the glorified poop jokes.

5. I may or may not have made a snarky comment at a recent GWJ boardgame night along the lines of, "Yeah, I'm a console gamer Mr. PC Guy, enjoy your dying platform while you can." Because, seriously, PC people, let it go, consoles are just so much easier.

6. I have discussed the ME3 ending before with Glanton, and, not only is he still wrong, but one day I will set him on fire for his opinion. CLEANSING FIRE, I TELL YOU.

That reminds me:

1. I call her Aeris.

Excitebike - Can't drive full bore for 10 seconds without the engine over heating? No thanks. Don't even get me started with duck hunt.

kuddles wrote:

The original Deus Ex is a terrible game. I thought it was bad then, and I think it's bad now. Would you like to shoot your way through, in a game where the shooting is unfun and the level design and A.I. don't support it well? Maybe you would rather be sneaky, where the mechanics feel poor and the A.I. doesn't support a stealth game very well either? Maybe you would rather be involved in the incredibly tedious hacking? It will help flesh out the competely asinine storytelling! Don't forget to put points into various skills and pretend that it seems to be doing anything of value. Deux Ex - Where you have so many options, none of which are remotely fun!

Obsidian Entertainment has the worst writing of any video game company ever, which is why I find the praise heaped about them confusing beyond belief. In Alpha Protocol it felt like none of the dialogue choices mattered because you came off as the same smug, sarcastic dork no matter what you chose. New Vegas was like Fallout 3 without any heart in it. Don't get me started about the utter tedium that is KOTOR 2.

Today I learned that myself and kuddles are complete polar opposits

Oh sh*t has the internet exploded yet?

I've never saved Princess Peach.
I've played almost all the Mario games, but have yet to beat one.

McIrishJihad wrote:

I can't stand achievements that are tied to multiplayer

Agreed times a bazillion, especially since I have no way to get said achievements any time on the foreseeable future. Especially you Saints Row 3, I'm a shared something or other away from 100% achievement completion.

SixteenBlue wrote:

That reminds me:

1. I call her Aeris.

"Aerith" sounds like "Aeris" with a lisp.

I prefer to play games made for children or young adults. When I look at most games aimed at adults, I see a bizarre obsession with violence and aggression that doesn't appear even remotely entertaining. That's the crux of my issue with calling Darksiders "Zelda for grown-ups": it's insulting to assume that what makes something "for grown-ups" is fountains of blood and more killing. I have the same problem with movies, comic books, and novels, so don't take it personally, babe, it just ain't my story.

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